by admin | 7 Feb, 2025 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
Imagine you are standing by the side of a small pond. It is a beautiful and calm day, and the water is flat and clear like glass. You decide to pick up a rock and hurl it into the pond. What happens? There is a large splash, right? And the rock causes small waves that spread out and travel all the way to the very edge of the pond. If the pond was bigger, the ripple would keep going until the water ends. What if, instead of a rock, you picked up a feather and dropped it in the pond? There may not be a splash, but there would still be a ripple.
You may not know it yet, but that is very profound, and something we all need to think about as we get up and into our day and life moving forward. No matter whether you drop a rock or drop a feather into that pond, there is always a ripple. It may not be the same intensity of ripple, but it will be there, nevertheless. So, what has this got to do with anything that is relevant to me? I hear you asking. Stay with me and the answer to that very important question will become clear.
There have been times in my life, feeling like a victim and just wanting some attention, when I would deliberately throw a rock into the pond, causing a large splash and an intense ripple. As a much younger and very insecure man, I was always looking for attention and validation. I would drink way too much, and then say things to purposefully shock people, not caring who got hurt in the process. In those days, I spent much of my life apologising to people I had offended as a result of my irresponsible behaviour and inappropriate words.
Then as I got older, thankfully, I started thinking more carefully about what I said and did so as not to offend or hurt anyone’s feelings. In other words, I stopped throwing rocks. However, what I found was that I was still upsetting and offending people, even without trying. Trust me, this is not a skill you want to develop. Little things like not responding to a phone call or text message would anger people. Walking into a room with a frown on my face would cause some people to wonder if they had done something wrong. Simply missing out on saying hello to each person in the room would offend the person I missed. Accidentally using the wrong word or phrase, or the tone in my voice could create a rift that was difficult to mend. What I came to recognise was that everything, no matter how big or small, created a ripple.
I am writing this blog for me, but also to help you understand this powerful idea and avoid the painful mistakes that I have made. For so much of my life, I was totally unaware of how my words, actions, tone of voice, body language, and even my silence or inaction, impacted lives. I had no idea that the light feather floating into the pond was still causing a ripple effect and damaging my relationship with myself and others. So, I want you to be very clear about how your communication, or lack of it, is creating a ripple that will either build or destroy, help or harm, encourage or offend, and/or strengthen or weaken your relationships.
I want you to consider what is being communicated to another person when you do the following things. If you keep people waiting, you are saying my time is more important than yours. When you roll your eyes, what may be communicated is, what you say is stupid and irrelevant, and you are wasting my time. When you don’t return a call or message, what could be perceived is, I am not important enough for this person to respond to. If you don’t acknowledge everyone in the room, the person missing out hears, I don’t like you or think you are worthy of acknowledgement. If you’re having a bad day and say something in a rushed or annoyed tone, it may be taken as, rudeness, arrogance, or that you don’t like me. The ripple of each of these seemingly insignificant feathers can potentially break trust, hurt feelings, cause a rift, harm self-worth, and/or destroy a relationship.
On the flipside, small things you do and say can send a powerfully positive message and create a beautiful ripple that will lift, inspire, build, strengthen, empower many lives, and improve this world. Things like; a smile, a word of encouragement, responding immediately (as soon as possible, that is) to calls and messages, remembering names and using them, looking people in the eyes, being punctual, and so many other seemingly insignificant things. You don’t need me to list any more. You already know this. What you may not know is the ripple effect and powerful impact you are having with the small things you do and say. I hope you are fully aware now.
Louise Siwicki is my guest on this week’s podcast called Productively unproductive. She discusses the ripple effect of stress and the words she used to herself and to others and the impact it had on her life. Things changed dramatically when she became aware of this ripple, and made the changes required. As you move forward in your day, you will communicate with many people, including yourself, either verbally or non-verbally. Before you do, please pay very close attention, and know that, no matter what is communicated, there is always a ripple.
by admin | 31 Jan, 2025 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
Learning more and becoming the best version of ourselves is a great thing. Where it can be a barrier in life, is when we get to the point we believe we have made it. When we think we know enough, can’t or choose not to learn anymore, or have all the answers, things can start to go pear-shaped. So, with that in mind, I want to encourage you to develop and maintain an apprentice mindset.
There are things about being young, raw, and inexperienced that are awesome. There are also things that are frustrating, tedious, and tiresome. I think back to being a student, having to do all the dreary learning, and uncomfortable developing to become a successful, qualified, and experienced adult, and just wanting to fast-track the process. I remember being a rookie athlete, struggling to fit in and develop myself, and just wishing and wanting to magically become an established senior footballer. My greatest desire, as I was fumbling my way around learning how to write a book, was to skip ahead to the place where I was a successful author.
What I will say at this moment is; be careful what you wish for.
As it does, life moves on, and time transports all of us from the apprentice phase of life to a more established member of society. It happened to me also. I got what I wished for, but certainly not what I wanted. After some time, I was qualified and working and had got myself to a very proficient level as an experienced personal trainer. So, I stopped learning, I stopped developing, and it wasn’t long before I was stuck, miserable, and stressed. After a few years, I had established myself as a senior professional footballer, and erroneously believed I was good enough. Again, I stopped aspiring to be better, and thought I could survive on my track-record. I was wrong. Soon after that error of judgement, I found myself sacked.
Thankfully, I learned these tough lessons and have and will continue to be a lifelong learner since that time. Last week, it was reinforced to me yet again, when I got to speak to an inspired and inspiring group of apprentices about being the best they can be. They started coming into the room, and there was a spark in their eyes as they were launching into an exciting career and future. Throughout the session, they seemed engaged, they were eager to learn, and I know many of them walked out with more belief in themselves, some ideas of how to navigate the journey of life, and the mindset to find joy along the way. I left the session feeling inspired myself, and even more committed to adopting and sustaining an apprentice mindset for the rest of my life.
Have you ever heard the saying, you are either green and growing or ripe and rotting? It provides a strong visual, doesn’t it? Think of a green banana transitioning into a beautiful, delicious, and healthy piece of fruit, versus a squishy, moldy, and ripe one. It also prompts my sense of smell, as I imagine the beautifully fresh scent of a green and growing piece of fruit versus the stale and stinky stench of a rotting piece. I always want to be fresh and aromatic rather than squishy and stinky. Are you with me? That means that we need to adopt and maintain an apprentice mindset.
No matter what you are doing and where you are in life, I want to encourage you to desire to learn more and be better. Then take positive action. An apprentice mindset means you will always be evolving, learning, and inspired. It will keep you feeling young and relevant, and connected to the world around you. That’s how I feel, and, at the age of 60, I recognise there is so much more I want to learn, do, and become. What about you? Are you ready to step out of know-it-all-and-have-all-the-answers mindset, and embrace an apprentice mindset?
If you’re at the top of your field, there is still more to learn. If you think you can’t get any better, trust me, there are more skills to develop. If you have hit a ceiling in your job or career, put yourself in a new situation and head in another direction. If your relationships are stagnant, get inquisitive about how to make them more dynamic and joyful. If your health is waning, for goodness sake, get excited about what you can learn, how you can develop, and what you can do to become optimally healthy. Please, for your sake, stay green and growing and avoid, with all your might, getting ripe and rotten.
I was so energised after my podcast this week with Andrew Matthews called Joyful persistence. It is Andrew’s passion and joyful persistence to develop himself each day that has led him to become a prolific global author and speaker. Anything is possible for every single person on the planet. No matter where you are in life, no matter what you know or think you know, you can have, do, or become whatever you want. All you need to do is simply commit to developing and maintaining an apprentice mindset.
by admin | 24 Jan, 2025 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
I have a very strong belief that I am worthy, I am here for a reason, and my life has meaning. I have a strong belief that the same is true for you. The disconnect often happens for me because I don’t always act that way. I don’t always talk to myself or treat myself in a way which reflects that belief. How about you? We do all sorts of things for the people we love, yet the person we should love the most, ourselves, often misses out. So, with that in mind, I want to encourage you, starting today, to do it for you.
In a world when the only person we can control is ourselves, why do we feel we have so much responsibility for other people? I understand parents need to feel and act that way with their children to an extent, but what about the rest of us? I don’t have children but often still focus on and worry about others more than I focus on myself. I am guessing you possibly do the same. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love doing things for and helping others, and I always will, as I hope you do. However, I need to understand that if it comes at the expense of my joy, purpose, dreams, and/or wellbeing, then I need to come back to me. If I don’t do it for me, then I can never really do it for others.
I have so much empathy for certain people in my life who are feeling overwhelmed and out of control. Children who place continual demands on them, a partner who expects many things of them, and other family and friends who they feel obliged to. After all that, the most important person, who needs their love, care, and attention the most, misses out. That is themselves. If you are getting a little uncomfortable as I am writing this, please keep reading, and then do something about it. Do something for you.
We live in a society that expects and pushes us to look a certain way, do certain things, respond in certain ways, and achieve certain things. In many cases, the things we do are not for us, but to make someone else happy or proud. The only reason I went to university was to make my parents happy. Actually, if I am being honest, to get them off my back. After university with a Physical Education degree, I went into teaching. Why? Was it my passion? No way. I did it because it was expected of me. Was I happy? No, I was miserable. I finally got to the point when I thought, If I don’t get out of this career, before I strangle a teenager, I am in trouble. Believe me, I would never strangle a teenager, however, I have to be honest, there were times when the thought was a pleasing one! That is a definite indication that I was not doing this career for me.
You see when you don’t do it for you, you do it for all the wrong reasons. What is ‘it’? ‘It’ is anything that does not light you up or move you towards a passion or purpose in your life. ‘It’ is something someone else expects from you to make them happy or proud. When you do this, not only will it affect your joy, but it will have an adverse effect on everyone around you. So, I say it again, do it for you. Sure, look after your wellbeing, but do it for you, not for anyone else. Absolutely, follow your dreams, not the dreams of someone else. Be the best you can be by leading by positive example, and that means do it for you. When you do, you inspire other people to do the same.
I have been single for quite a while, and as I have no kids and I live alone, it’s easy for me to do it for me. I do spend many hours each day doing things to positively impact other lives. Things like this blog, my books, my podcasts, my speaking, my mentoring, and my posts. I love doing this stuff, and as much as I do it to help other people, I do it for me. It brings me immense purpose and passion. Outside of that, I focus on my mental and physical wellbeing, exercise, time with God, personal development, time by the water, time relaxing and regenerating, and time laughing and connecting with great people. I know if I was in a relationship, it may be more of a challenge to give as much time and attention to me, but I would do it because I know how critical it is for me and everyone I care about.
In my podcast this week with Roni Robbins, called, What you leave behind, we discuss the legacy that each one of us is leaving by being the very best we can be.
I love my life, I love what I get to do, I love how I handle situations, I love the opportunities that come my way, and I love the people in my life. Let me tell you this; the only reason I love it so much is because I prioritise the most important person in my life. Me! That doesn’t mean I am selfish, although there may be times I am, and it doesn’t mean I don’t care for other people, because I do, very much. It means I now know my worth, and I know that if I don’t focus on me then I can never be to others the man I want and need to be. So, my friend, as hard as you may find it moving forward from here, I want to encourage you to do it for you.
by admin | 16 Jan, 2025 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
Have the words “I am too busy” ever emerged from your lips? Have you ever used those words to excuse you from doing something you know you really should be doing? I know I have. When we try to keep adding things to our lives, it will get full, overwhelming, and stressful. So, it may be necessary to stop something so you can start the thing that will have the greatest impact on your year and your life.
We often wonder why we have no spare time, but it is actually very obvious and logical. For example, if you have a full glass of water and you add more, what will happen? It will spill, right? If you are full but keep eating, what is inevitable? Vomit. Yucky, but true. If you jam pack every moment of your day with stuff and then something important needs to be added, what is likely? Excuses, stress, and frustration for more people than just you. Do you see where I am going here?
When the new year started, and I thought about what I wanted to create in 2025, I was encouraged to find one thing to stop, and another thing to start. I realised there was no way I could develop the things I wanted by just adding stuff on top of an already full life. I also knew there was no point just stopping doing something unproductive without a very specific plan of what to add in its place. The late great Skip Ross calls it the law of exclusion, which states, when you get rid of what you don’t want, you make room for what you do want.
There was one thing that had been nagging me for some time. It is my Achilles heel, so to speak. It is television. I love plonking myself on the couch and throwing my brain at the TV. I would justify it by convincing myself that I had worked hard and deserved it. Don’t get me wrong, I do work hard, and I do deserve to watch TV, just not for as long as I was allowing myself to indulge. My routine had become working till 5pm and then watching TV for the next 90 mins. What I was watching was mind-numbing, and not helping me in any way achieve the goals I had for 2025. So, I decided to stop watching TV for that 90 mins.
Had I just decided to stop without starting anything productive to replace that time, I knew it wouldn’t be long before the magnetic effect of the couch on my butt would have lured me back. So, I asked myself, what can I do in those 90 mins to move me towards my best year and my best life? After some reflection, I formulated my plan of what I would start doing instead of watching TV. I decided I would spend some time in prayer and then I would go for a walk to enjoy my surroundings and connect with people. After getting back from my walk, I would make some calls to build relationships, and build my business, and then I would spend some time creating something. I started to imagine how different my life would be by the end of the year by just re-investing 90 minutes per day in myself. Just so you know, that is more than 545 hours, and almost 23 additional days I have just added to my life by that simple decision.
Now, we are only a few weeks into the new year, and already there is a seismic shift in my life. I feel better; more empowered, in control, and energised. Through my prayer, I feel clearer and closer to God. Through my walking and connecting, I have met some amazing people, helped homeless, and reconnected with the amazing place I live. Through my calls, I have developed stronger bonds, and unlocked opportunities. Through my creating, I have written more, posted more, developed events, and it has helped unlock some amazing ideas and possibilities. Wow, profound stuff, hey? Watch this space and ask me how things have changed as the year progresses.
Okay, let’s turn this back to you. If you are reading this blog, I know you want things to be different in one or more areas of your life in 2025 and beyond. I am also aware there are things you know you should be doing. Rather than just trying to add more into your full life, what can you stop doing, so you can start doing the things that will have the greatest impact on your life and the people you love? Is it TV? Is it hitting snooze? Is it processed food and drinks? Is it scrolling social media? Is it complaining and making excuses? You know what it is, don’t you? All you need to do is decide on one thing to stop and then something to start to replace that time.
My podcast this week with Nathan Buttigieg is called You must stop to start. Nathan allowed himself to spiral into alcoholism and drugs, and it was destroying his life. He decided to stop those destructive activities, and instead start reading, listening to podcasts, and embarking on a physical training journey. Now he is loving life and helping many others. What about you? It has come down to this moment, as you read these final words. Please don’t miss this or ignore this. I know you want more for your life, and I know how you can get more. Simply stop doing something destructive and start doing something to build yourself and your life.
Please let me know what you have stopped and then started, and enjoy the adventure.
by admin | 11 Jan, 2025 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
Success. Achievement. Striving. Thriving. Goals. Stretching. Pushing. These are words, whilst positive by nature, strike fear into the hearts of many people. Me too! Why is that? Because the prevailing belief, and this is something I have believed for most of my life, is that everything we want but don’t yet have is outside of our comfort zone. Yuck. It is suggesting it has to be hard to experience success in life. I want to challenge that thinking this week, and ponder the question, what if success is actually already inside our comfort zone?
I have strived for “success” for much of my life. I have got as uncomfortable as humanly possible (for me anyway) many times in pursuit of this “success”. To become a professional athlete, it was bone-jarringly and gut-bustingly painful to make it at the highest level. I did it and I made it, but I never felt successful. To get the body I thought would bring me admiration, self-love, and respect was muscle-tearingly, and lung-burstingly uncomfortable. I achieved the body, but still didn’t feel “successful”. I worked seven-days per week in business to believe I was a “success”. It was relentless and exhausting, but never led me to the feeling that I was a “success”. So, again, my question; is “success” really outside your comfort zone, or is it already there?
The word “success” has a different meaning for different people, however, I believe, for most of us, it has been portrayed as some kind of external achievement or accomplishment. In fact, the definition of the word “success” from www.cambridge.org is:
The achieving of the results wanted or hoped for.
This definition is damaging as it focuses on people’s value based on what they achieve, rather than who they are. My thinking is this, “success” is not about what we do, it is about who we already are. I am a Christian and believe in creation. I also believe the odds of my existence, and yours, are so infinitesimally small, there is no way our existence is luck. I believe God created no junk, and that I am here for a very special purpose. That purpose, to be uniquely and authentically me. Guess what? I am already that. So, are you. Therefore, “success” is already ours. It is already inside our comfort zone. Knowing and believing this, that we are already enough, that we are already loved, and that we are already a “success” means we can go on and manifest amazing things in our lives.
Let me give you a simple example. As I was walking home after training on Wednesday, I decided to do a social experiment. I decided to say ‘hello’ to every person I passed and see how many of them actually said ‘hello’ back to me. Would you agree this is a pretty simple exercise? Would you also agree, we already have the capacity to do this? In other words, we don’t have to get out of our comfort zone, we just have to open our mouths. Well, just because it is already inside of us, doesn’t make it easy. After the first seven ‘hellos’, I had only got one response. I know why. Because I was being timid in my approach. I was fearful of what they might think, or how they would respond. So, I dimmed myself.
In that moment I decided to tap into my existing comfort zone and be loud and proud. For the rest of my walk home, I boomed out “good morning” to every person I met, and by the time I got home had got 17 responses from 30 ‘hellos’. I knew I could do better than that, so I did the same thing on Saturday, and this time got 24 responses from my 30 ‘hellos’. The only reason I didn’t get more was because some of the people were listening to things and clearly couldn’t hear me. I am telling myself that anyway. The question, did I really have to get out of my comfort zone to do that? Of course not, I just had to decide to tap into the joy, love and “success” that is already within me, and share it with others. I feel my biggest issue, and possibly the same for others, is that I didn’t trust the strength, power, and worthiness that is already inside of me. “Success” is already mine, and yours. All we have to do is tap into it, and let it flow out into our lives.
This week I speak with Adrienne Simmons on my podcast. It is called, Your body is your bestie, and we discuss how our body, mind, and emotions already provide us with everything we need. We just need to treat them like our best friends. So, as you go about your day and life after reading this, I hope you believe and do things differently. Focus on the wonders already inside you and in your comfort zone, and simply share them with the world. Then, watch what happens.
by admin | 4 Jan, 2025 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
Happy new year to you. Before I even start this week, I want you to know how grateful I am that you read my blogs each week, or however often you get to them. As a writer, it is often hard to know who reads, how many read, and what type of impact my words are making, if any. If you are reading this, we have just launched into 2025, and as you think about the year to come, I would encourage you to consider the power of one.
There’s a temptation in our society to make new year’s resolutions and try to change everything all at once. It can be incredibly overwhelming and inevitably leads to many people giving up on their dreams. Have you ever been there? I certainly have and also have given up on more new year’s resolutions that I am willing to share with you. That’s why these days I follow this strategy and encourage you to do the same. That is to think about just the power of one.
I was walking home after training the other day, on a beautiful sunny morning. Amongst the vibrant blue sky and bright sunlight, one disturbing thing stood out to me; rubbish that had been thrown on the ground. As I was just about to step over a discarded fast-food container, I stopped and picked it up and placed it in a rubbish bin that was only a few metres away from where it was lying. As I dropped it in the bin, I thought to myself, if every person in Melbourne would simply pick up and responsibly discard just one piece of trash per day, that would be more than 5 million pieces of rubbish less in our streets per day and a much cleaner and healthier city. That, my friend, is the power of one.
What if, instead of a crazy new year’s resolution that demands you change 10 things all at once, you just chose one? Would that be possible, and if so, what would be the result at the end of 2025. If that one thing was to buy one less $6 cup of coffee per day, that would result in $2190.00 extra in your hand. Wow, that’s the power of one. What if that one thing was to walk an extra 3km per day? That would be over 1000km per year. Would you be fitter, leaner, and healthier if you walked from Melbourne to Sydney? I think so. Again, the power of one. Imagine your one thing was to say just one encouraging or loving thing to someone important in your life. Can you imagine a stronger, more connected relationship after 365 days? I can, after just one week. That is the mighty power of one.
Trust me, one thing that you persist with is so much more valuable than 10 things you don’t stick to. That one thing you commit to will build your confidence, build belief, inspire others, begin to compound, deliver surprising results, and will empower you to start adding other things, one at a time. Again, my loyal friend, that is the power of one.
A lady I was working with told me she wanted to be healthier, so we discussed it, and she decided her one thing would be to eat a healthy breakfast each day. After just 63 days of sticking to it every day, what she told me, inspired me beyond belief. When she told me she had more energy, I wasn’t surprised. When she explained she had dropped two dress sizes, I was impressed. What she told me next is the reason why I do what I do. She explained that after a couple of days of sitting at the table to eat her breakfast, her teenage son who would normally run out the door without eating, started joining her and eating breakfast with her. Then a day or so later, her husband started joining them both and they began eating breakfast together as a family. Do you know what that means?
Not only was she becoming a healthier human, but her actions had inspired her son and husband to make healthier choices. But it doesn’t stop there. What else has she changed since that time? Who else has she inspired subsequently? What about her son and husband? Who else have they encouraged to start eating breakfast? Can you see where I am going here? The ripple effect of that one simple, seemingly insignificant decision has and will continue to impact many lives for many generations to come. That is the unstoppable power of one.
In my podcast this week with the incredible Jennisue Jessen, called Slow to the speed of love, we discuss the power of showing love to people. She has experienced incomprehensible trauma in her life yet has chosen one simple thing; to use trauma to equip her, not allow it to define her. Let me tell you, the power of that one decision helped her and her organisation positively impact more than 53,000 people in 2024 alone. Do not miss this podcast, you will be inspired beyond.
2025 is currently a clean slate. You can make of it whatever you choose. I know you want to look back and be proud and excited about what transpired this year and who you became in the process. That being the case, please let go of the idea that it has to be hard, overwhelming, and disruptive, and simply focus on the power of one.
