by admin | 19 Apr, 2024 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
I think I am pretty consistent with my message. In fact, sometimes I feel like I am repetitive. Sorry about that, however, I do believe being consistent about being consistent is very important. We are often asking ourselves questions about how to be better, change things, get a different outcome, or just live a more fulfilling life. We often complicate things as we look for answers, when the answer is simply consistency.
The answer to what? The answer to everything. Have you ever thought the answer was more ability? Nope, it’s consistency. Have you ever thought the answer was more education? Nope, it’s consistency. Have you ever thought the answer was more willpower? Nope, it’s consistency. Have you ever thought the answer was more luck? Nope, it’s consistency. Have you ever thought the answer was more connections? Nope, it’s consistency. Have you ever thought the answer was more than you were capable of? You are definitely capable because, it’s consistency.
On Saturday morning I was walking home after my daily workout. Yes, I said daily. I have been doing it every day consistently for decades. As I was walking, I stopped to chat with Lucas who is a guy I see most mornings with his beautiful dog. We stopped and chatted for a little bit, and I asked him what he was up to for the weekend. He told me, and then he asked me what I was doing. I told him that, amongst other things, I was going to get a new pair of running shoes. He looked at my feet and said, yeah, I can understand, those shoes get a lot of work, don’t they? What did he mean by that? He meant, from what he sees of me, I am consistent with my training.
I have been told by so many people how lucky I am that I have a lean, healthy, and athletic body. They tell me it must be because of good genetics, and they don’t have the same genetics. They are sure I have more discipline and willpower, and that is something they don’t possess. They have convinced themselves it’s all about time, knowledge, and equipment. What a load of rubbish! Luck has nothing to do with it. Genetics have nothing to do with it. Willpower and discipline have nothing to do with it. Time, money, knowledge, and equipment have nothing to do with it. Guess what the answer is? Consistency.
You may have heard of Kobe Bryant, basketball legend. Performance Coach Alan Stein wanted to find out Kobe’s secret to success. At the peak of his career, Kobe invited him to train with him the next day. They had planned to meet at the gym at 4am, and when Alan arrived, Kobe was already in a full sweat in the midst of his very basic and boring training program. When Alan asked him why, Kobe said, Why do you think I am the best player in the world? Because I never get bored with the basics. Wow! That is so simple, yet so powerful. The daily basics are your ticket to freedom. The daily basics are your ticket to growth. The daily basics are your ticket to achievement. The daily basics are your ticket to anything you want. The answer is consistency.
We get so bombarded with rubbish every day on social media, on television, and from many people who really don’t understand the answer. We get told that we can get a quick result without the effort. Or on the flipside we believe that what it takes to create significant change requires more than we have. Both are big fat lies. Firstly, there is no quick fix. Secondly, you already have within you everything you need to create any outcome you want. Thirdly, and most importantly, the answer is consistency.
I was blessed to speak to a wonderful group of people yesterday who are responsible for a significant construction project in Melbourne. Guess what the topic of the talk was? Guess what the topic of any of my talks is? Guess what the answer to any question you have is? You guessed it, consistency. Want better health? Then set a consistent daily rhythm of exercise and good food choices. Want better relationships? Then set a consistent daily rhythm of complimenting, encouragement, and communication. Want a better relationship with God? Then set a consistent daily rhythm of prayer. Want more money? Then set a consistent daily rhythm of saving. It is not hard. It is not out of reach. It does not require pain, discomfort, or willpower. It just requires consistency.
In my podcast this week called, The confidence gap, Jerry Scarlato and I discuss the simple and consistent steps it takes to build confidence and transform your life. When you get that consistency is the answer, you never have to worry about the result again. With the right behaviours applied constantly, you will predictably create wellbeing, abundance, joy, and meaning in your life. Whenever you are looking for the solution to help you in any situation, just know, the answer is consistency.
by admin | 12 Apr, 2024 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
The question that has plagued me for much of my life is, why do I do what I do? Have you ever asked yourself that question? I don’t know about you, but stuff comes out of my mouth, and I often ask, why did I say that? Regularly after I have done something, I ask, why did I do that? Even as I am doing things, or not doing things as the case may be, I am asking myself, why am I doing this, and why don’t I stop (or start)? Do you know what I am talking about? Well, I finally have the answer to that age-old question, why do I do what I do? I hope you are ready.
Everyday for me is another day to become a better human being, and I know this will be a lifelong journey. I read, I listen, I ask, I observe, I try things, and I fail often. I am very grateful to my church, as the leaders gave each of the members a copy of a book called, The Power to Change, by Craig Groeschel. Within just a few pages, I knew this was going to be a transformational read, and it has been already. It was in the first chapter that the key statement was presented to explain why we do what we do. You want to know what that is, don’t you? If I give you the answer now, you may not keep reading, so I am going to keep you guessing for a short while. Sorry, hehe.
What I will do is describe scenarios that have played out in my life, for both destruction and betterment. As you may know, I call myself an unlikely athlete and an accidental author. I lost my professional footballing career, and became a best-selling author for the same reason, just different application in each case. I aspired to be a professional footballer from a young age, and my entire motivation was to prove to myself and the world that I was good enough. Clearly, that is not how I felt about myself at the time. Whilst I worked hard, and I made it to the top level of the sport, I never really felt good enough. I never felt like I was a professional athlete, in fact, I felt like an imposter. I was just waiting to be found out, and guess what? I was. Just two weeks after playing in a grand final for the club, I read in the paper that I had been de-listed. In plain terms, that means I was sacked. My career was over. Why? Hold that thought.
When I made the decision to write my first book, the odds were seemingly stacked against me. No time, no skills, no background, no qualifications, and no idea what it would take to become a best-selling author. Again, I had a burning desire, but it was different to the one that drove me to be a professional athlete. It was a desire to impact lives, mine included. So, as I negotiated the doubts in my mind as to whether I could write a book, because I had not done any writing, or even ever wanted to, I came to a conclusion about myself. I recognized I was a communicator. I was a personal trainer, I was a speaker, and every day I communicated with people about how to live a better life. With that in mind, I started the process and, against the odds, wrote a best-selling book. Today, twenty years after that was published, my life transformed, I am still writing books and still loving it. How did that happen? Get ready for the answer.
In both cases, I clearly had the ability to be a professional athlete and a best-selling author. So, why did one crash and one flourish? Why did I do what I did in both cases? As an athlete, I sabotaged myself, and as an author I created and nurtured myself. Why the difference? It all comes back to the same question, why do you and I do what we do? As an athlete, I never really felt I was good enough or worthy of being there. As an author, I knew I was a great communicator and knew I could change lives. Are you ready? Here it comes. The moment you have been waiting for. Why you do what you do.
You do what you do, because of what you think of you!
Should I say that again? You do what you do, because of what you think of you. The actions you take will only move you to the life you want based on the beliefs you have about yourself. You can never outwork low self-worth. You can never beat yourself up and achieve success. I tried for so much of my life and always found myself lost, broke, alone, or sacked. You can start a course of actions because you want a result, but if you don’t believe you are the person worthy of that result, or the person who would achieve that result, it will not happen.
That just means you may have to change what you think of you. The moment you start believing you are a healthy person and worthy of it, you will be more consistent with your exercise regime and eating plan. The instant you start to believe you add value to the world, and are deserving of abundance, you will start doing the things that will bring abundance to you. The second you believe you are capable of loving and worthy to be loved, you will find a new partner, or improve your current relationship. The minute you believe you are a caring, giving, and friendly person, you will start to build sustaining and fulfilling connections with people. Are you getting my drift?
It matters less what you do, and more about what you think of you. In my podcast this week called, Do the inner work, Andrew Stevens and I discuss this exact topic. I know you want more in some areas of your life. What I would ask you to do is reflect on what you think about you in that particular area. What do you say about you? Is it loving, encouraging, and empowering? Or, is it the opposite? If you need to change it, do the inner work now. Always remember, you do what you do because of what you think of you.
by admin | 22 Mar, 2024 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
We live in a world that is largely driven and controlled by numbers and measurements. How much we weigh, how much we earn, the score we get at school, the numbers of steps we do each day, the number of sales we get, our IQ, and all of the other numbers that put us in a box and for many, limit their lives. Now, don’t get me wrong, there is definitely a place for numbers and measurements. However, the most crucial metric for joy and success in life is one that cannot be quantified. That measure is your heart.
Let me give you an example of how dangerous blindly following measures can be. We have all heard of BMI. If not, it stands for Body Mass Index. This index is calculated by comparing height and weight and standardizing it as a score that then categorises a person as ‘Underweight’, ‘Normal’, ‘Overweight’, or ‘Obese’. Let me ask you this question, if your BMI rated you as overweight or obese, what would you think and what would you do? You would possibly think less about yourself and may even start doing extreme things to lose weight. Right? Without wanting to come across as arrogant, I am very lean and healthy. However, when I put my weight and height into the formula which calculates BMI, I am categorised as significantly overweight. If I didn’t know better, I might start doing very unhealthy things to get into the ‘normal’ range. People do this all the time. BMI is a very dangerous measure to adhere to. As are many others I won’t mention right now.
I do want to discuss an inspiring story I recently heard that I hope will help you focus on the one measure that counts most. You may have heard of Bo Eason, who was a professional NFL player in the USA. After being injured and unable to continue his playing career, he became an actor, and wrote and acted in a play called, Runt of the Litter. As a schoolboy, Bo decided he was going to be a famous athlete. He drew a stick figure, representing himself, and underneath it wrote, ‘Best Safety in the NFL’. If you are not sure what ‘Safety’ is, it’s a position in American Football. That was his dream and vision, and he spoke about it with everyone he knew, even his high school football coach.
At the time, he measured 5 feet tall, and about 60kg in weight. If you are not sure, that is small and light, and makes it challenging to play football at the highest level. His coach felt it his duty to point out these measurement deficiencies to Bo, and that the chance of him playing at the highest level was effectively non-existent. He went home deflated and told his father what his coach had said to him. I hope we can all be like Bo’s father when we are talking to anyone about their potential. Bo’s dad asked him, ‘they measured your height and weight. Did they measure your heart?’ What a powerful and encouraging question that filled Bo with hope. His father, a ranch owner and farmer, went on to tell Bo a story.
He explained that the most valued and important worker on the farm was the dog. The cattle dog did a power of work herding the animals and keeping things functioning efficiently. When there was a new litter of pups, they tied a ribbon around the neck of the runt of the litter, and then when the pups were a little older, they sold all of them, except the runt. Why? The runt worked harder, achieved more, and was the most valuable dog in the litter. Bo’s father went on to say, you just remember that as you are working towards your dream and when others may doubt your ability. The bottom line of what Bo’s dad was telling him was that the other measures don’t matter, what matters most is what is in your heart.
It is so easy for us to compare ourselves to other people or the standards that education or society places on what defines success. When we do, we can often start to feel less than enough and that there is no way, based on those metrics, that we measure up. But the only measure that counts is your heart. Do you have enough courage to work harder than others to achieve what you want, even if it is against the odds? Do you have enough perspective to find joy and happiness in things that do not rely on external achievement? Do you have enough love in your heart to overcome the situations you may face that will chip away at your self-worth? Do you have enough faith and patience to trust that everything is okay? Do you have enough inner strength to know that you are good enough just as you are?
All the answers you need to live a life of meaning, significance, and joy, do not reside in your head, or in the measures that we may believe categorise and rate us in terms of our value. The answers are waiting in your heart for you to listen to, harness, and use to create the amazing life that is there waiting for you. In my podcast this week called Joy is free, Em Chadbourne and I talk about the joy that is waiting for you, when you just turn off your brain and open your heart. As a human being, you have a heart with the capacity to move you to do, have, or become whatever you desire. So, moving forward from this moment, remember to pay less attention to the other metrics and always measure your heart.
by admin | 8 Mar, 2024 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
We humans are a unique race, aren’t we? Have you, like me, ever done something you knew would lead to an undesired outcome, but did it anyway? Have you, like me, ever done the same thing over and over again and actually expected a different result? Have you, like me, ever followed a conditioned response just to be disappointed again? Have you, like me, ever followed societal norms only to end up wishing you had taken a different path? If so, are you ready for the answer to all your dilemmas? It’s simple, do the opposite.
Do the opposite of what? The opposite of what you deep down know will lead you to the same old predictable and disappointing outcome. You know criticizing will damage a relationship, don’t you? So, do the opposite and give praise and encouragement. You know eating another donut will not enhance your wellbeing, right? So, do the opposite and eat something that will. You know spending money unnecessarily will empty your bank account, agreed? So, do the opposite and save. Are you getting my point?
I like being right, but I have never won an argument, have you? It’s a no-win situation, because even if you do prove another person wrong, you have damaged the relationship. If they prove you wrong, then resentment kicks in. I know this, in both cases, from personal experience. Do you know what I do now when something says something I know is not right? The opposite of what I used to do. I agree with them. You may be asking, how can you agree with them when you know they are wrong? Simple, because in their mind they are correct and me proving them wrong does nothing constructive at all.
The snooze button used to be my best friend. How is it that every night you go to bed, your best intentions are to get up and exercise the next morning, and then wake up with a very different feeling? In fact, not only were my intentions great, but I was excited to get up at 5am and get my training done. But then, whilst I slept, my body was invaded by the evil lazy-bad-attitude spirit. The alarm would go off and my excitement had turned to anxiety, and my motivation to mush! I would hit the snooze button time and time again. Then one day, as I realised my fitness level was declining and the rolls on my stomach multiplying, I decided to do the opposite the next time my alarm went off. I did, I got up and trained. It took a while to create the habit, but now I never miss a day.
Debt is a good indicator that your money habits are not great. I have been in debt more times than I would like to disclose in this blog. There was no secret to my debt, I was making very poor choices about how I spent my money. I will give you one very embarrassing example. I got a large sum of money as an inheritance which would have been far better invested. Instead, to feed my very fragile and hungry ego at the time, I went and bought an $80,000 car. About a year later, I realized that a car was not my answer to happiness and decided to sell it. I sold it for $40,000. That my friend, is a poor financial decision. Now I do the opposite. I earn more than I spend, and I make much better financial decisions.
Do I have to keep giving you my personal and embarrassing examples? I don’t think so. I am grateful I have learned so much about doing the opposite of what I used to do and what many people do. Why? Simple, because I want different results in my life. I am guessing, if you are reading this blog, you would also like something to change in your life. If that is true, then you only need to do one thing, in the area of life you want to see change. That is, the opposite. If you want to be fitter, do the opposite of being sedentary, and be active. If you want to improve your relationships, do the opposite of not talking, and talk. If you want to create better results in your business, do the opposite of procrastinating, and take action. You may have heard the saying that, seeing is believing. If you want to see great things in your life, try doing the opposite which suggests, believing is seeing. It’s really pretty simple, wouldn’t you agree?
In my podcast this week with Kim Mellor, called Bring the sunshine, you will be incredibly inspired. Coming out of a history of domestic violence, becoming a single mother in her teens, and then finding herself and her two children homeless, it would have been very easy for her to spiral. Instead, she did the opposite and started bringing sunshine everywhere she went. Everything in life offers a choice. The choices we make will determine the life we ultimately live. So, my friend, if you want a life different to the one you are living then simply, do the opposite.
by admin | 22 Feb, 2024 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity, Mindset
Have you ever thought about or stated that your greatest dream in life is to be miserable? Me neither. Yet, there have been many times when misery was my jam, and as I look around at the places I frequent, I don’t see lots of people putting fun first. So, with that in mind, this week is all about how we can put fun into everything we do and, put it first.
We live in a serious world, with lots of challenges, and if we are not very careful, we can let life flush us down the misery drain-pipe. So, we have to be very deliberate about finding fun, and then inserting it into everything. Yes, everything. Even cleaning? Yep. Even work? Yep. Even tough conversations? Yep. Even spreadsheets? Yep. Even exercise? Yep. Trust me, you can make anything fun, if you approach it with the right attitude and look at it with the right perspective.
I remember as a teenager, my dream and greatest desire at that time was to be a professional footballer. When I got my chance and was invited to come and try out at the St Kilda Football Club, it didn’t take too long before I was questioning my dream and desire. In my mind I could see and feel the wonderful experience of making it as a professional athlete. What I hadn’t considered was the pain, sweat, and relentlessness it would take to get to that point. I thought I was fit; I was wrong. I thought I was prepared; I was wrong. I believed I could do it; I began to doubt.
Each training session was more lung-busting, muscle-tearing, and brutal than the one before. There were times I felt faint, there were times I vomited, and there were times I passed out. There were moments when I just didn’t think I could take one more step. It was not fun, and the thought of giving up was a regular one in those early days. In fact, I do believe I would have given up if I was not able to find the fun and put it first. So, the question I hear you asking is, how do you possibly find fun in pain? That is a great question.
The simple answer, I stopped focusing on the pain, and I started focusing on where I was heading and who I was becoming. With each pounding session, I felt stronger, I felt mentally tougher, and I felt more equipped to make it at the highest level of the sport. Whilst the training was tough, the fun part was knowing it was helping me become better. Being a member of a team and going through the journey with your teammates is definitely a fun part of the process. The banter, the laughter, and the sharing of discomfort made the whole experience more joyful. Without finding the fun, I know I would never have stuck with it, as it took many years before I finally made it as a regular senior player. The fun kept me in.
These days, the pain and discomfort of being a professional athlete are a distant memory. I do, however, train every day, and I do use the same strategy to make every morning that I get up at 5am to exercise a fun part of my day. In addition to exercise, I have many parts of my business which I can easily describe as fun. I love writing because I am creating something that will change lives. I love speaking to groups because I know someone will get the message I am communicating and it will help them in their life. I love mentoring aspiring authors and people with their wellbeing because I know they will be an example and create a ripple effect of positive change in the world. I even love the preparation of all these things, because without it I can’t do what I do. It is all fun.
Another part of my business involves helping people diversify utilizing an e-commerce platform. The other evening, we did a training session focused on skin care. My goal, in addition to imparting information and ideas, was first and foremost for it to be fun. There was lots of laughter, there was fun to be had with the virtual app which analysed skin, and all in all it was a fun and powerful 45 minutes for everyone who attended. Seeing that I have a skin age of 38 years old, when I am over 20 years beyond that age was definitely fun!
So, my question to you is, how can you put fun first in everything you are doing, no matter how unfun it may appear? Could you get together with people you have fun with to do tedious things? Could you give yourself a cool reward for completing a challenging task? Could you change your environment and make it more fun? Could you focus on who you are becoming and what you are creating as you do what you need to do? Could you give yourself fun little breaks on a regular basis? Could you simply choose to enjoy what you are doing? Yes, you can choose to have fun, no matter what.
My podcast this week is with Mish Cogley and is called What if?. Mish went through a very challenging time during COVID and experienced many trauma-causing events over a very short period of time. She constantly said to herself, what if I could find a way? What if I could get better? What if I could find fun. I want to encourage you to find a way, no matter how challenging it may be, to put fun first with everything you do.
by admin | 16 Feb, 2024 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
I don’t know about you, but up until a few days ago I had no idea what a drop bolt was. I am the least handy person, when it comes to fixing stuff, that I know. I can change a light globe and change a car tyre, but that’s about the extent of it. Now, not only do I know what a drop bolt is, I also know that whatever drama that a drop bolt can create, can also be resolved. Get ready for the great drop bolt drama…
I live in an apartment block with seven apartments, and being one of three owner-occupiers, I am on the committee with two lovely ladies. We recently had our front access security gate fixed, and we quickly realised it needed an additional drop bolt attached so we could hold it open when needed, as it had an automatic closing mechanism. The company doing the work sent a quote for the drop bolt, and if I am being perfectly honest, I didn’t pay too much attention. It was $420 and seemed reasonable, so we accepted the quote. Until the drop-bolt was attached, that is.
As I mentioned, I had no idea what a drop bolt was, and then when the girls and I saw it, we were flabbergasted (a word not used nearly enough!). We couldn’t quite believe how they could possibly justify $420 for what we discovered was a $15 drop bolt, and labour that could have been no more than 30 mins. We spoke to the Body Corporate who said, since we had agreed on the quote, there was nothing we could do about it. However, I had other ideas.
I went into spy-like investigation mode. It was all very exciting! My first plan was to anonymously call the company and ask what their call-out and hourly rate was. They explained that they charged a $180 call-out including 20 minutes of labour time, and $45 per 30 minutes after that. I then did some sums in my mind. I was pretty confident they could have done the job in the 20 minutes but gave them an additional 30 minutes to be on the safe side. That worked out to be $225 plus the $15 for the almighty drop bolt.
My next step was to ring them back to question the quote and ask them to modify it to reflect a more reasonable amount. Wow, that was one of the most frustrating calls I had made in a long time. I felt like I was talking to a brick wall. When I explained the situation and asked if they would adjust the quote, I was met with someone who would not budge and told me there was nothing they could do. No amount of tantrumming from me worked. I got off the phone, feeling angry and frustrated, and then I reflected on it for a while. I realised I had handled the conversation very poorly. Why? I had made the whole conversation about what I wanted, and not even considered what was important for the company.
Later in the day I had an aha moment. I was looking at their website, and if I am being honest, I was trying to find a way to leave negative feedback. Instead, I found a statement that I knew could help us. The statement said this; Our business depends on the satisfaction of our customers; we would be grateful if you would post a Google Review to share with our other customers. Now I knew what they wanted. So, I drafted an email, a very friendly email, explaining that I would love to be able to post a positive review, however we were not satisfied. I explained the situation and asked that, if it was true that customer satisfaction was so important, they would consider reviewing the initial quote. I sent it one night during the week. The next morning, I received and email grateful for my feedback and that they were happy to reduce the quote to a much more acceptable amount.
The drop bolt drama was resolved. How was it resolved? Not by me getting angry. Not by accusing them of ripping us off. Not by threatening that they would lose our business. It was resolved by finding out what was important to them and showing them how they could get it. What a powerful lesson this is for all of us. How do you get a child to eat vegetables? How do you get your partner to do something you would like them to do? How do you get someone to come and fix something for you? How do you get yourself out of bed doing what you need to do in life? You do it very simply by finding out what is important to people (and yourself) and showing them (and yourself) how, by doing what you want them to do, it will help them (you) get what they (you) want.
It is amazing what you can learn from a drop bolt! Always look at things in terms of how it impacts another person, always talk in terms of what they want, and you will be amazed with what can happen in their life, and yours. I am so grateful for the drop bolt drama.
