Is it time to re-launch?

Is it time to re-launch?

Many times, over the years, rockets have been unsuccessfully launched into space. When it happens, a team of experts will assess to work out why it malfunctioned, adjust, and then re-launch. How many times will they re-launch? Until they get it right. The question I have asked myself and now am asking you is, if your life is malfunctioning in some way, is it time to re-launch?

It was such a pleasure to not only help Tory Trewhitt write his book Blokes Inc, but to be the MC at the launch of his first book. As we sat in front of a group of more than 100 people, I asked him questions, and he shared about his life in the wellness industry and the challenges he had experienced over the previous few years. As he spoke with passion about his journey and his purpose to help men, and as he moved the audience with his vulnerability, I knew this moment was the next re-launch in his life.

Tory was a successful coach and business owner in the corporate health space, when he saw an opportunity to re-launch. With that, he packed up his home in Melbourne, and moved his wife, three children, and his life to Byron Bay to start in the hospitality industry. He was excited, optimistic, and ready for this re-launch. What he didn’t expect was that in a few short years, he would lose all his money, cut off three of his fingers, seriously compromise his family dynamic, and spiral into a deep dark place. He disconnected himself from family and friends, he started drinking, he almost lost all hope, and he was on the verge of total destruction, when he realized it was time to assess, adjust, and re-launch again.

Tory is an incredible inspiration. He re-focused on the one thing he knew would help him most, and that was his wellbeing. He started exercising, eating better, and looking after his mental health. Day by day, he lifted himself out of the mud and the muck, and he found light and hope again. At that point, he re-connected with me to help him finally finish the book that we had started together 15 years earlier. Now he was ready to finish. Now he had the experiences and the content that could really help people. As we sat together talking at his launch, I could see the determination in his eyes, hear the passion in his voice, and see the visceral impact he was having on the crowd. I knew this was his next re-launch.

I know Tory will do great things, my question is always, what about you? How are you tracking in all areas of your life? I am sure some areas are flying with joy and abundance. Is there any part of your life that requires a re-launch? Be honest here, because you only get one shot at this life, don’t waste it. Please pay attention and if there are parts of your life that are malfunctioning, why not stop, assess, adjust, and then re-launch? How is your health and energy? If it is lagging, why not assess, adjust, and then re-launch? What is happening in your relationships? If there is conflict and disharmony, why not assess, adjust, and then re-launch? How is your bank account looking? If it depresses you when you think about it, why not assess, adjust, and then re-launch? You can re-launch at any time, so why not now?

If you have recognised that a malfunction is occurring and a re-launch is necessary, then please don’t wait, start now. To help you, I am here. You can start by listening to my two podcasts from the previous week, Looking for love, with Steve Gallegos and Life happens for you, with Michael Ostrolenk. Both will give you some ideas and some confidence to help you re-launch.

Many amazing achievements by many wonderful people have become reality over many thousands of years. Do you know why? Not because of luck. Not because of knowledge. Not because of talent. Not because of education. Not because of resources. Not because of circumstances. They have happened for one simple reason; re-launch. With every aspiration, there will be malfunctions. Those they get the outcome they want simply keep assessing, adjusting, and re-launching until they become the person and have the life they want. So, again I ask, is it time to re-launch.

I get to…

I get to…

In this world we live in, we often feel like there are many things we have to do. The moment we declare there is something we have to do, we often resent, avoid, or don’t enjoy the particular thing. What if I were to suggest there is actually nothing you have to do, but lots of things you get to do? Would that change things? I believe so.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been to the dentist, too long in fact. Finally, after noticing a little hole appearing in one of my teeth, I decided it was time to bite the bullet, and so I booked an appointment. Going to the dentist is one of those things we say ‘we have to do’. Let me offer another perspective.

I was having lunch with my dad and his partner Annette last weekend, and the conversation turned to dentists and teeth. My dad, coincidentally, was also having a dentist appointment during the week. Annette then explained what her grandfather did to his children. What she told me was actually quite jaw-dropping, pardon the pun. Her grandfather decided that as dental care was going to be inevitable, and expensive, he would save hassle and money and have all of his children’s teeth removed while they were young.

Yes, I told you it was jaw-dropping. So, Annette’s mother, brothers and sisters all had their teeth extracted and lived their lives with no teeth, using false teeth only. Wow, talk about a perspective builder. How grateful am I that I have a little plaque build-up, and maybe a hole or two in my teeth? How grateful am I that I actually have my teeth and that I can go and get them looked after at the dentist?

So, as I was about to say to myself, I have to go to the dentist, I stopped. I realised, I don’t have to go to the dentist at all, I get to go to the dentist. I choose to go to the dentist. I’m grateful that I am able to go to the dentist. In an instant, the thought of going to the dentist changed from a terrifying thought, to a very comforting and exciting one.

The reality is that I don’t have to go to the dentist, I don’t even have to look after my teeth. If I don’t care about the condition of them, I don’t have to do anything. Therefore, I get to look after my teeth, and I get to go to the dentist. Trust me, that is an incredibly empowering thought and attitude which applies to everything.

Have you ever said, I have to go to work? You don’t have to go to work at all, you can live without money if you choose to. Have you ever said, I have to get up and exercise or go to the gym? No, you don’t have to do that at all. If you want to live your life in an unhealthy way, that’s your choice. You don’t have to eat well, resolve conflict, show compassion, forgive others, save your money, invest wisely, smile, look for the positives in life, or anything else for that matter. Trust me on this; everything you do is because you ‘get to do it’ not because you ‘have to do it’.

The second you adopt the attitude that you get to do something, then you will feel in control, you will feel empowered, and you will feel excited. I want to encourage you, with everything that you do, to feel and believe that it’s something you get to do. It’s not something you have to do.

My two podcasts this week will really help you in this area and with this mindset. In my podcast with Arlene Miller called The jewel within, we talk about the options you have so that you get to strengthen your inner talk, your inner self, and your inner strength. In my podcast with Angelo Valenti called The easy way, you will learn that life doesn’t have to be so difficult. You’ll get to apply some very simple ideas and principles that’ll help make life flow in a much easier way.

Every day there are things you will do. If you believe you have to do them, there will be resistance, maybe even resentment. If you believe you get to do them, then you will do them with joy, with gratitude, and with ease. Enjoy everything you get to do this week.

Look again

Look again

When you look at the image, what do you see, apart from two very handsome men that is? The words I mean. Read it to yourself. Say it out aloud. Did you get it right? Are you sure? Look again. Read it again. Say it out aloud again. Got it?

If you got it, you would have realised that ‘and’ is written twice. Maybe you’re like me and didn’t see it until it was pointed out. It is such an obvious thing isn’t it? Why did you miss it? Why did I continually miss it? This is a very important question that I want to discuss this week.

My friend Ossie and I caught up after almost two years of no contact. We went for a walk on a stunning day, sat by the Yarra River, enjoyed the wonderful views, and caught up on the previous two years in each other’s lives. It would be fair to say we have both been through some challenges in that time. What I loved about our conversation, and what I love about Ossie, is that we were both able to see more in the situations we had experienced than the challenge. Initially it seemed overwhelming and undesirable, but when we looked again, from another perspective, it looked very different. That is the reason why it is so important to look again, so you don’t miss the truth and the opportunity.

My greatest desire this week, after you finish reading the blog is to look again at many situations that you believe are adverse. In fact, I would encourage you to read this blog again, as you never know what you may pick up the second time. So many times, I have looked at a situation in my life that seemed bad and reacted immediately, based on the first look. In most cases, it was the wrong way to look at the circumstance, and led to an undesirable outcome. Reacting to an initial emotion will often lead to regret. All you have to do, before responding, is look again and you will see the truth.

Why do we often miss the truth when we first look at something? Great question and I am not sure if I have the answer. Maybe because we live in a fast-paced world, and we don’t allow ourselves the time to look and reflect on what is really going on. Maybe it’s because we are looking at things from our own selfish viewpoint and how it immediately affects us. Maybe it’s because we are looking through a victim-mindset perspective and not how the situation can actually be a positive thing in our lives. Whatever the reason, I want to urge you, whenever you feel frustrated, angry, anxious, fearful, resentful, or offended, to take the time to look again more carefully. If you do, the truth will appear to you.

That health challenge you are looking at can be a cause for fear and anxiety, unless you look again. If you do, you will see areas to improve and the opportunity to become optimally healthy and inspire others. When looking at conflict, it can very easily lead to anger, frustration and resentment, unless you look again. If you do, with a desire to see the other person’s viewpoint, you will find empathy and compassion. When you look at a situation that is out of your control, you can feel helpless and fearful, unless you look again. If you look at what you can do and what you are in control of, you will see amazing possibilities that will lead to feelings of empowerment and excitement. Can you see why it is so important, in certain scenarios, to look again?

It was actually in my podcast with Pericles Rellas, called Financial thermostat, that I heard the Bird in the the hand’ metaphor, andhis own story of looking again. In my other podcast this week called, A values driven life, I talk with Carly Pepin about looking again at things through the lens of what is most important to you. Both podcasts have powerful conversations, and I encourage you to listen to them.

The life we live is very dependent on what we see, how we respond, and what we do as a result. As humans, we are very impacted by how we feel and driven to act as a consequence. Once you act, it can’t be undone or taken back. The words you speak, and the actions you take will always have an impact on your life and the life of others. So, it is my strongest recommendation that before you speak or act, you take the time to look again with a desire to see the truth.

The missing link

The missing link

I love how things work. When everything is in place, things flow with ease. When all the components are operating in your TV, you get a clear image. When you put all the pieces into a puzzle, you get a complete picture. When your car is serviced regularly and all parts are where they should be, it runs smoothly. When things are not running as you would like, in any area of life, no need to panic. It simply means there is a missing link, and for most of us that missing link is the most obvious thing.

We live in a world where people are looking for answers and ways to live a better life and become the best version of themselves. I applaud every single person who makes personal development a regular daily choice. I have worked on myself for many years, and it has transformed my life. I will continue to make personal development an essential part of my life. There is no shortage of ways to develop personally. There are millions of podcasts, blogs, books, audios, seminars, webinars, workshops, and retreats. So, really, anyone who wants to change their life has immediate and ongoing ways to learn how to do just that.

That being the case, why do so many people participate in personal development of some kind, yet so few move very far beyond the circumstances they are trying to change? It’s the missing link. I know for me, in the early days of my personal development journey, I was the same. I read, I listened, I attended, I learned, I knew all the stuff, and I even tried some things, yet I was still stuck in the life I wanted to change? Why? Again, the missing link. Do you relate? Are you wondering, even though you read my blogs, listen to podcasts, and attend seminars, why nothing is really changing for you? Then get ready, because I am going to share with you the missing link.

Over the weekend just gone, I ran a webinar for aspiring authors called The Submission Process. During that session, we discussed everything required to do to get a book published. Over the last 20 years I have spoken to, presented to, written to, and delivered programs to thousands and thousands of people about how to get a book written, published, and out into the world. Why is it that so many people have the information, yet so few get their books written, published, and out into the world? It’s the missing link. You know what it is, don’t you?

If you think it’s action, you are partly right. Many people act and still don’t get the results they want. The missing link is; continuing to do what you said you would do long after the mood you said it in is gone. In other words, it is doing the stuff, even when you don’t want to, don’t feel like it, or don’t think it’s working. Getting published very rarely comes about from a submission to one publisher. It comes after many submissions, many non-responses, many rejections, and many times overcoming the feeling of giving up. Creating a healthy body doesn’t happen getting up once when you feel motivated to go for a run. It happens every morning, even when you would rather hit the snooze button. Building your business, making sales, getting clients, and getting speaking gigs will not occur just on the day you feel inspired. It comes about after persisting through the times when nothing seems to be working and getting knock back after knock back is a common occurrence.

Magic is happening through continuing to do what you said you would do long after the mood you said it in is gone. When nothing seems to be happening, trust me, it really is. You are getting stronger and more resilient. Someone is reading your submission or proposal. Someone is being inspired by what you are doing. Your body is actually getting healthier with every step you take. Your action will always lead you somewhere abundant and amazing, with one simple condition; you keep going when you most feel like giving up. There is an awesome book called; The Magic is in the Extra Mile. Not a truer word has been spoken.

Don’t believe me? Then listen to my two podcasts this week to get some other incredible perspectives on this message. I spoke with Robert Foster in a podcast called Shut up and grind. I spoke with Bobbi Barrington in a podcast called The sculpture within. Both will reinforce the message I have shared in this blog.

I know you want a better life, or to change something, otherwise you would not be reading this blog. Reading this is just the first step, but all the reading, all the listening, and all the attending in the world will not create change. The only thing that will create the change you want is, continuing to do what you said you would do long after the mood you said it in is gone. This, my friend, is for most people, except you, the missing link.

We are all different

We are all different

What a mind-blowing statement it is, not. We are all different. I don’t think there is a person on the planet who would disagree with that statement. However, in our actions, reactions, and relationships with other people, I believe there are times we forget it. So, this week, I want to remind you again that we are all different. The other thing that goes with that is, it is okay. People are allowed to think what they like, react as they choose, and behave as they will. Because we are all different.

This fact was made glaringly obvious to me this week. As I do, I get up every morning before 5am and spend the next couple of hours building my mind and exercising my body. My wellbeing is a priority to me, and what I was reminded of again, on this particular morning, it is not for everyone. I have to remember that this is okay, as people are as they are, and it does not require my judgement or opinion.

I was down at the beach training in front of a beachside kiosk. I was doing my exercise routine and noticed a man asleep on the ground under the cover of the kiosk roof. He looked like he just had a big night out and anywhere was good enough for him to sleep. After about an hour, my training had finished and I was stretching. This man finally staggered to his feet and stumbled in my direction. He slurred his words as he astonishingly asked me if I had a cigarette he could have. It was astonishing to me, as I had just been exercising just a few metres from him for 90 minutes. To him, it was clearly a reasonable question. We are all different.

I replied to him, “I am sorry, I don’t smoke, I try to live a healthy life”. Which, even as I was saying, I realised may have come out a little judgmentally. I clearly still have the capacity for more personal growth! He then looked at me, with a spiteful look in his eyes, and declared, “People who exercise are toxic!” He threw some expletives at me and stumbled off just as another man, out for a morning walk, approached. He asked the gentleman for a cigarette, and when he got another rejection, he started swearing at this man and continued swearing as he staggered off into the distance. I chuckled, as I was again reminded that we are all different.

This is a critical realization for all of us as we go about our lives and interactions with many people. For so long, I would become frustrated when others didn’t agree with me, didn’t understand me, or didn’t seem to be listening to me. The reality was, they weren’t trying to frustrate me, nor I them, but we were coming from different perspectives, different experiences, different personalities, and different character traits. We are all different. These days, instead of getting frustrated, I get fascinated. I want to understand someone’s perspective so I can connect with them and identify with where they are coming from. It has made such a difference.

I am not perfect at this, I still miss the mark, and there are times I allow myself to get frustrated, but my awareness is getting better each and every day. I do have to admit that I think I failed with my friend this week, and didn’t get the chance to try understanding his point of view and why people who exercise are toxic. With him, I just had to accept that we are different, and that is okay. I am sure he found a cigarette and is happy.

In my podcast this week, called Choosing you, I speak with Judith M. Costa. She is all about building strong self-worth and developing unconditional love for ourselves and others. The only way we can love unconditionally is by accepting our differences and uniqueness, and those of others. The thing that will often cause the greatest challenges in life is misunderstanding, conflict, and disagreement with others. It happens simply because we are all different but don’t accept that as being okay. So, this week, as you connect with people just remember they are coming from a different place than you are. It’s not good or bad, it just is at it is. To be much happier and more peaceful in life, understand and accept we are all different.

Put on your genetic make-up

Put on your genetic make-up

 

One of the things that has kept me stuck in different areas of my life, over the years, is focusing on things that are out of my control and, if I am being honest with myself, are also irrelevant. It’s like the genetic debate. People like to blame genetics as why things happen in their life, and why they can’t achieve certain things. They talk as if they are stuck. We are actually not stuck at all, we just need to understand we get to put on our own genetic make-up.

I don’t want to get into a genetic debate here, I want to make a point. However, there is now much evidence to support the thought that we can change our genetics by changing our thinking, our emotions, our environment, and our actions. In other words, we can no longer blame our gene pool. We all know that make-up doesn’t put itself on, you have to apply it yourself. I hope that by the end of this blog you will also believe that you can and are responsible for putting on your own genetic make-up.

As I am writing this, it is Saturday morning. Every Saturday for me is ‘Muscle up Saturday’. I get up in the wee hours of the AM, jog to my wonderful outdoor gym with chin-up bar, and do at least 100 muscle-ups as I look out over the water. If you do not know what a muscle up is, it is quite a challenging movement, and takes lots of practice and patience. I have devoted many years to getting good at them. When I started, I struggled to do one, now, with breaks, I can comfortably do 100 or more. People are always impressed, but it really isn’t impressive, it’s just consistency.

This morning, three men jogged to where I was doing my muscle-ups and stopped for a drink. I had seen them and said ‘hi’ to them before. They asked me how many muscle-ups I was doing. When I said 100, they seemed impressed. One of them then asked me how old I was. When I explained I was 60, he said, ‘Wow! How do I get your genes?’ In other words, what he was really saying, as I translate, was, ‘you are so lucky that you have good genes. I am unlucky because I don’t have those genes, so I could never look like you and do what you can do’. He just believed that I was naturally able to look the way I look and do 100 muscle-ups. For some reason, I don’t think he considered that to be able to do what I do, at the age of 60, has nothing to do with genes and everything to do with my attitude and my consistent action.

Asking the question, ‘how do I get your genes?’, is like asking, ‘where do I find buried treasure?’ or, ‘how do I find a partner who agrees with me totally?’ or, ‘I have been with this company for 10 years, why don’t I just get a promotion?’ These questions basically indicate that the person asking them is not willing to take any responsibility for their role in becoming healthier, creating wealth, developing an amazing relationship, or getting a promotion. These questions are asked by people who are not buying into the idea that we are responsible for the results we get in our lives, and we get to put on our own genetic make-up.

So, my friend, are you ready to start applying your own genetic make-up? No matter what result you want, and no matter how challenging it may seem, it is available and predictable if you simply take basic, appropriate, and consistent steps every single day. It’s amazing how things can go from impossible to inevitable, one day and one step at a time. The great Australian 1500m swimmer Kieren Perkins was not genetically gifted or naturally talented as a swimmer. One day he set the seemingly impossible task of breaking the 15-minute barrier for 1500m. He explained that each day he trained for that goal it became possible, then probable, and on the day he stood on the blocks to swim, he knew he would do it. He did, one stroke and one swim at a time. He put on his own genetic make-up, because of his effort.

In my podcasts this week, I speak with two superstars, both providing ample evidence that we are not stuck, not unlucky, or genetically challenged, but that we can change whenever we choose to. I speak with Laura Lynn Morrissey on my podcast called Becoming ageless, and Jason Blyth on my podcast called Power to change.  Both are inspiring conversations which I hope will empower you to start doing the things that will help you become the person you want and live the life you desire. Just remember, there is no luck in life, you get to put on your genetic make-up.