by admin | 22 Mar, 2025 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
As human beings, the one thing that sets us apart from every other living creature is our capacity to experience every spectrum of emotions and the ability to choose what we do with them. This is great news, but it can also be our stumbling point. Because we get to choose, we have the option to ignore, to judge, and to mask our emotions, all which will lead to trouble. My encouragement this week, is to feel every moment.
I have just published a powerful podcast with Shane Jacob, called Horse talk. Shane talks about his experiences with an alcohol addiction and how it was destroying his life, until he started to feel the moment. As a horseman, he found lots of wisdom from horses. He explained that horses do feel emotion, they just don’t have the same capacity as humans to choose what they do with those emotions. He explained how they feel the moment. They stay in the moment, they experience the discomfort, and they move through it to their next moment in life.
This may not sound like it, but it is an incredibly profound and powerful idea if we embrace it. As Shane was talking, I reflected on the times in my life I didn’t want to deal with certain emotions, such as; fear, anxiety, insecurity, and lack of self-worth. So, rather than feeling the moment, and dealing with the feelings, I masked the moment and pretended everything was okay, when clearly it was not. I can give you loads of examples of how that simple and single poor choice, which I was so good at making, has exploded in my face at some later date. Being sacked as a professional athlete, losing money in business, three divorces, just to name a few.
So, what does ‘feel the moment’ mean? I hear you asking. It simply means, when you feel an emotion of any type, sit with it, allow it, feel it, try to understand it, and then it’s amazing how you will be better able to process it. As I was editing the podcast, and getting it ready to publish, I was feeling my own anxiety, which up until that moment, I was choosing to try and ignore. If you have ever experienced anxiety, you will know it is very difficult to ignore. So, I decided to take Shane’s horse-talk advice. I got up, went for a walk, found a spot on a park bench in the sun, looking over the water, and I sat.
I closed my eyes, I took a deep breath in, and I felt that moment. I leaned into the anxiety, I thought about a situation I am currently dealing with that was leading to the fear that was driving the emotion, and again, I sat. I stayed in that moment for about ten minutes. In that time, I validated the feeling, analysed the feeling, I examined my thinking that was leading to the feeling, and all of a sudden, an insight came. It was a different way to look at the situation, and immediately the anxiety was gone. I have to be honest, it was replaced with other emotions, one was peace, the other was anger. Not bad anger, but empowered anger that represented me taking back my power in the situation.
I walked home, and I was very grateful for Shane, and the suggestion to feel the moment. This strategy is not just good for moments when there is fear, anxiety, and resentment. It is also great to feel the moments of joy, gratitude, love, and happiness. To sit with all feelings helps to understand them, embrace them, learn from them, and be able to either keep them, or move through them, as the case may be.
So, as you are reading this blog, I want to encourage you to think of an emotion that you may have buried. One that hurts. Maybe a conflict with someone, a feeling of lack, anger at a certain situation, a comment someone made to you, fear of taking the next step in an area of your life, or anything else. Just know, if you continue to ignore it, stuff it, or mask it, there will be an explosion at some point, leaving a trail of destruction in its wake. Now is the time to feel the moment. Take yourself somewhere peaceful and sit with the feeling. Lean into it, learn from it, process it, and then move through it. Trust me, you will feel so much better as a result.
My other podcast this week is called Mena-power with Natalie Moore. It is an awesome conversation about the feelings associated with menstrual cycles and menopause. It is important to feel the moments, even those affected by our hormones. The more we do, the more we will be able to move through them, with joy, wisdom, and gratitude. Today, test the theory, when you experience any type of emotion, feel the moment.
by admin | 14 Mar, 2025 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
What a mind-blowing statement it is, not. We are all different. I don’t think there is a person on the planet who would disagree with that statement. However, in our actions, reactions, and relationships with other people, I believe there are times we forget it. So, this week, I want to remind you again that we are all different. The other thing that goes with that is, it is okay. People are allowed to think what they like, react as they choose, and behave as they will. Because we are all different.
This fact was made glaringly obvious to me this week. As I do, I get up every morning before 5am and spend the next couple of hours building my mind and exercising my body. My wellbeing is a priority to me, and what I was reminded of again, on this particular morning, it is not for everyone. I have to remember that this is okay, as people are as they are, and it does not require my judgement or opinion.
I was down at the beach training in front of a beachside kiosk. I was doing my exercise routine and noticed a man asleep on the ground under the cover of the kiosk roof. He looked like he just had a big night out and anywhere was good enough for him to sleep. After about an hour, my training had finished and I was stretching. This man finally staggered to his feet and stumbled in my direction. He slurred his words as he astonishingly asked me if I had a cigarette he could have. It was astonishing to me, as I had just been exercising just a few metres from him for 90 minutes. To him, it was clearly a reasonable question. We are all different.
I replied to him, “I am sorry, I don’t smoke, I try to live a healthy life”. Which, even as I was saying, I realised may have come out a little judgmentally. I clearly still have the capacity for more personal growth! He then looked at me, with a spiteful look in his eyes, and declared, “People who exercise are toxic!” He threw some expletives at me and stumbled off just as another man, out for a morning walk, approached. He asked the gentleman for a cigarette, and when he got another rejection, he started swearing at this man and continued swearing as he staggered off into the distance. I chuckled, as I was again reminded that we are all different.
This is a critical realization for all of us as we go about our lives and interactions with many people. For so long, I would become frustrated when others didn’t agree with me, didn’t understand me, or didn’t seem to be listening to me. The reality was, they weren’t trying to frustrate me, nor I them, but we were coming from different perspectives, different experiences, different personalities, and different character traits. We are all different. These days, instead of getting frustrated, I get fascinated. I want to understand someone’s perspective so I can connect with them and identify with where they are coming from. It has made such a difference.
I am not perfect at this, I still miss the mark, and there are times I allow myself to get frustrated, but my awareness is getting better each and every day. I do have to admit that I think I failed with my friend this week, and didn’t get the chance to try understanding his point of view and why people who exercise are toxic. With him, I just had to accept that we are different, and that is okay. I am sure he found a cigarette and is happy.
In my podcast this week, called Choosing you, I speak with Judith M. Costa. She is all about building strong self-worth and developing unconditional love for ourselves and others. The only way we can love unconditionally is by accepting our differences and uniqueness, and those of others. The thing that will often cause the greatest challenges in life is misunderstanding, conflict, and disagreement with others. It happens simply because we are all different but don’t accept that as being okay. So, this week, as you connect with people just remember they are coming from a different place than you are. It’s not good or bad, it just is at it is. To be much happier and more peaceful in life, understand and accept we are all different.
by admin | 8 Mar, 2025 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
I have to admit I spend too much time scrolling on social media. Not that it is totally disruptive to my life, but I still do it too much. I do love cute animal pictures and videos, I get inspired by what many people are doing, and there are definitely some positive posts. I think the thing that most disturbs me is the amount of people who feel they need to filter and enhance themselves to look a certain way. My belief is that we are all beautiful, just as we are, and there is no filter needed.
For so many years of my life, my appearance was the most important thing. Don’t get me wrong, it is still important, but now it doesn’t define me. These days I want to look good because I already feel good about me, not because I want to feel good about me. In another time, my self-worth cup was not as full as it should have been, in fact almost empty. In other words, I didn’t like or value myself much. That being the case, I believed that if I achieved certain things and looked a certain way it would fill that cup and magically I would feel better about myself. It didn’t, and I didn’t.
I would train obsessively to have a physique that would be admired. I would eat with total paranoia that if I put any ‘bad’ food in my body, it would immediately show. I made sure if any pictures were taken, my hair looked good, the filters were applied, and I appeared flawless. Yes, it was exhausting and stressful. It wasn’t until, after hitting rock bottom, I finally decided things needed to change, that I started the long journey to self-love, and accepting myself as I was, flaws and all. These days when I have pictures taken, there are no filters needed. I accept and love my wrinkles and flaws because they contribute to my individuality.
My question to you is this. Are you applying filters and enhancements to your photos? The even more important question is, why? If you are doing it because you don’t like how you look, want to look younger, or want to portray and image of flawlessness. Again, I would ask, why? For whose benefit? Who do you feel you need to impress? As a single man, I have been on and off dating sites. I am not sure what the experience is like for women, however, I find many women use filters and enhancers on their profile pictures. That may be fine for an image they want to portray, but my question is, how does it go when they actually meet a man in person and have to present themselves as they are, without the filters?
I have met women who look totally different to their pictures. It gets me wondering about their feelings of self-acceptance and self-worth. I am sure many men do the same thing, as I did. The bottom-line is this, if we don’t love ourselves, flaws and all, wrinkles and all, then it is going to be very difficult to find someone else to love us. I know that to be trute and have three divorces to prove it. So, how do we build ourselves to the point where we love ourselves just as we are, and where filters are no longer needed? This is the key question.
All I can do is talk about it from my perspective, and let you know what I did. Hopefully, it can help you. For me, the greatest healing and revelation came from my faith. I now believe God created me for a reason, and my worth is not based on what I do or how I look, but that I am here. This changed many things, and the helped me to start accepting myself for who I was, flaws and all. The more I started to understand myself, my conditioning, where my beliefs came from, and why I behaved the way I did, the more I was able to accept, forgive, and start to love myself.
Interestingly, as this process was evolving, I was becoming less critical of how I looked, and more accepting of who I am, wrinkles, flaws and all. I am now at a stage, where I am happy to be me, and happy to share pictures of me with no filters needed. I hope you can get to the same place and love yourself for who you are right now. This doesn’t mean we stop aspiring to be better, it just means we are aspiring for the right reasons; not to feel worthy, because we already are.
I published two amazing podcasts this week. Life is short, with Lindsay Johnson, and A healthy shift, with Roger Sutherland. Both focus very heavily on self-worth, and dealing with the inner struggles, to help make the outer world a more joyful place. I hope you believe deep in your heart that you are beautiful just as you are. I hope you will stop hiding behind filters and be authentically you, because that is what the world wants and needs. Trust me when I say; there is no filter needed.
by admin | 28 Feb, 2025 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
One of the things that has kept me stuck in different areas of my life, over the years, is focusing on things that are out of my control and, if I am being honest with myself, are also irrelevant. It’s like the genetic debate. People like to blame genetics as why things happen in their life, and why they can’t achieve certain things. They talk as if they are stuck. We are actually not stuck at all, we just need to understand we get to put on our own genetic make-up.
I don’t want to get into a genetic debate here, I want to make a point. However, there is now much evidence to support the thought that we can change our genetics by changing our thinking, our emotions, our environment, and our actions. In other words, we can no longer blame our gene pool. We all know that make-up doesn’t put itself on, you have to apply it yourself. I hope that by the end of this blog you will also believe that you can and are responsible for putting on your own genetic make-up.
As I am writing this, it is Saturday morning. Every Saturday for me is ‘Muscle up Saturday’. I get up in the wee hours of the AM, jog to my wonderful outdoor gym with chin-up bar, and do at least 100 muscle-ups as I look out over the water. If you do not know what a muscle up is, it is quite a challenging movement, and takes lots of practice and patience. I have devoted many years to getting good at them. When I started, I struggled to do one, now, with breaks, I can comfortably do 100 or more. People are always impressed, but it really isn’t impressive, it’s just consistency.
This morning, three men jogged to where I was doing my muscle-ups and stopped for a drink. I had seen them and said ‘hi’ to them before. They asked me how many muscle-ups I was doing. When I said 100, they seemed impressed. One of them then asked me how old I was. When I explained I was 60, he said, ‘Wow! How do I get your genes?’ In other words, what he was really saying, as I translate, was, ‘you are so lucky that you have good genes. I am unlucky because I don’t have those genes, so I could never look like you and do what you can do’. He just believed that I was naturally able to look the way I look and do 100 muscle-ups. For some reason, I don’t think he considered that to be able to do what I do, at the age of 60, has nothing to do with genes and everything to do with my attitude and my consistent action.
Asking the question, ‘how do I get your genes?’, is like asking, ‘where do I find buried treasure?’ or, ‘how do I find a partner who agrees with me totally?’ or, ‘I have been with this company for 10 years, why don’t I just get a promotion?’ These questions basically indicate that the person asking them is not willing to take any responsibility for their role in becoming healthier, creating wealth, developing an amazing relationship, or getting a promotion. These questions are asked by people who are not buying into the idea that we are responsible for the results we get in our lives, and we get to put on our own genetic make-up.
So, my friend, are you ready to start applying your own genetic make-up? No matter what result you want, and no matter how challenging it may seem, it is available and predictable if you simply take basic, appropriate, and consistent steps every single day. It’s amazing how things can go from impossible to inevitable, one day and one step at a time. The great Australian 1500m swimmer Kieren Perkins was not genetically gifted or naturally talented as a swimmer. One day he set the seemingly impossible task of breaking the 15-minute barrier for 1500m. He explained that each day he trained for that goal it became possible, then probable, and on the day he stood on the blocks to swim, he knew he would do it. He did, one stroke and one swim at a time. He put on his own genetic make-up, because of his effort.
In my podcasts this week, I speak with two superstars, both providing ample evidence that we are not stuck, not unlucky, or genetically challenged, but that we can change whenever we choose to. I speak with Laura Lynn Morrissey on my podcast called Becoming ageless, and Jason Blyth on my podcast called Power to change. Both are inspiring conversations which I hope will empower you to start doing the things that will help you become the person you want and live the life you desire. Just remember, there is no luck in life, you get to put on your genetic make-up.
by admin | 21 Feb, 2025 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
Ever been on a roller coaster? It’s fun, terrifying, exciting, heart-pumping, and exhilarating all at the same time. Like life, the roller coaster has valleys and peaks. The difference is that on a roller coaster, the valley only lasts a few seconds before you are back at the top of a peak enjoying the incredible view. In life, it’s not always quite as easy to get back to the top after you hit a valley. So, with that in mind, I want to encourage you this week to master the fast turnaround.
Children and animals have got this skill mastered. We adults, could learn something from them. A child can overcome a rejection very quickly and be back asking for an ice-cream within seconds, often winning out and enjoying that iced magic. Dogs can bounce back from running into a door, and be ready for a pat, ball-chasing, or some food in a heartbeat. Why is it that we, supposedly more evolved human adults, at times have so much trouble bouncing back after a setback?
I was listening to a great audio the other day, and the speaker put it this way: a setback is a set up for a comeback. I love that idea. When we can look at a setback and believe that it is a set up for a comeback, then our minds go into creative solution mode to find ways to use the challenge as a platform to master a fast turnaround. I am sure we can all think of a time when we got battered by a setback. Did you wallow in it, or think about how you could master the fast turnaround? This is a skill it has taken me many years to develop. I am not sure if I would call myself a master, but I am getting better, for sure.
I often wake up feeling anxious. It has been something I have experienced for much of my life. During the week, I woke up one morning with a more heightened feeling than normal. The day before a couple of undesitrable things had happened, I didn’t get a job I was hoping to secure and I had a unsettling incident with someone, Both knocked me around for a short time. I started questioning myself, and wondering if I really am the man I thought I was, and whether I was good enough professionally. Isn’t it crazy how our minds can so quickly take us down into the worst case scenario? Nevertheless, if I am being honest, I woke up the next day feeling pretty useless.
Thankfully I have mastered the fast turnaround. The first thing I did was pray to God for his truth. The second thing I did was exercise to clear my mind. The third thing I did was reflect on the job I missed and my interactions with this person to assure myself I had acted with integrity and did things for the right reasons. The fourth thing I did was talk about it with my mentor to get a fresh perspective. In no time at all, I realised it was not the job job for me, I felt empathy for this person and what they were going through, and immediately I felt better. I felt strong and in control again.
The final thing I did, to make sure my turnaround was complete, was to go out that afternoon and help Pentecost Care feed, connect with, and give clothes to the homeless and marginalised people in Melbourne. There is something about doing for others that brings clarity and perspective into every situation.
When we believe that things happen for us and not to us, then mastering the fast turnaround is a much easier thing to do. I believe that the events of the day before happened for me, to help me stay focused on compassion, empathy, persepctive, and being the best I can be. So, my question to you is, what is hampering you at the moment? What is happening that is holding you back from living the life of joy that you deserve? What if you could believe it is happening for you and not to you? If so, what could you do, right now, to create a fast turnaround? Could you exercise? Could you pray? Could you talk to someone? Could you help another person? Could you focus on what you are grateful for? It is such a simple thing to do. I said simple, not easy, but it will make such a difference in your life.
My podcast this week with A.J. Otjen, and Dan Steffensen, is called Embrace trauma. Wow, talk about a fast turnaround! A.J. wrote a book called Burned Over, about Dan and his experience of getting severely burned in fires. Dan is a master of the fast turnaround after an experience that could have taken him out. Now, just a few short years after the trauma and burns on 65% of his body, he is inspiring people all around the world. It is my greatest encouragement that today and forevermore, no matter what you are going through, master the fast turnaround.
by admin | 14 Feb, 2025 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
There is so much joy to be had in our lives, but we often miss it. There is so much potential inside every person that often goes unused. There is so much abundance available to all of us, but we often make excuses as to why we don’t deserve it. What I am saying is that there is more for me and there is more for you. I want you to remember this simple concept; no matter how you feel, dance anyway.
Last weekend there was a Latin festival in St Kilda, so a friend and I decided to go and experience the vibrant Latino culture. When I think of the people from the wonderful South American countries, I think of passion, smiles, laughter, food, and dancing. I love the passion, the smiles, the laughter, and the food. The dancing, however, terrifies me. Why? Latin dancing is the most amazing dancing there is, but it seems so complex, and it scares me to death. So, as we walked across to the festival area, I was wearing my ‘I’m really excited’ mask, when in reality I was on the verge of soiling my undies.
As we arrived and walked in, the first thing we saw were the people dancing the samba, the tango, the rumba, or one of those incredibly complicated dances, as I perceived them to be. So, I quickly suggested, before my friend had other ideas, that we look around and get something to eat and drink. She agreed. Phew, temporary reprieve. We enjoyed some wonderful Argentinian food, had a couple of drinks, and I was feeling a little more relaxed. There was a DJ playing current South American music, and many people dancing with incredible joy on their faces. We wandered over, and before I knew what was happening, I was dancing in my own very unassuming way.
After a while, my body was getting into the rhythm. We walked back over to where the others were dancing with actual classic moves. Again, I had no intention of dancing, until a South American lady dressed appropriately, grabbed me by the hand and gave me no choice. I didn’t want to, but I danced anyway. She taught me a few moves, and I didn’t trip up. We danced for a few minutes, and, surprise surprise, it wasn’t as hard as I imagined it would be, and, I actually enjoyed it. Am I going to be a superstar dancer? No, I’m not. Is it something I am going to do every week? No, it isn’t. But, as life does, it taught me a lesson. You may not feel like dancing, but dance anyway.
This is such a beautiful metaphor for life, isn’t it? You may have seen the many quotes out there that suggest the same message. Quotes like:
Dance like no-one is watching,
Love like you’ve never been hurt,
Sing like no-one is listening,
Live like heaven is on earth.
Let me tell you, when my alarm goes off in the morning at 4:52am, I don’t feel like getting up to exercise. I get up anyway. There are many times, I don’t feel like writing. I write anyway. When the time comes to make my phone calls for the day, I am a little terrified. I make the calls anyway. Before you start to think I do everything anyway, irrespective of how I am feeling, I don’t. There are times when I know I should do certain things, and I talk myself out of them. I am working hard every day to change that, but, like you, I am human.
I just want to encourage you to dance anyway. There are things you know you will be glad you did after they are done. So, even though at the time you may not feel like it, or think you can, do them anyway. The fun things, the helping other people things, and the important things. Feel the resistance but do them anyway. My two recent podcasts with Rhonda Britten, called A Gold Star Day, and Ash Perrow called Play Bigger, are wonderfully inspiring conversations that I know will help you dance anyway.
You have heard it before many times. When you get to the end of your life, you will either be saying, I wish I had done more and not let fear stop me, or, I am glad I did the things I was scared to do. I know it’s hard to imagine that time, so don’t. I want to encourage you to just think about the only day you have. That is today. Commit to yourself that no matter what comes your way and no matter your feeling of resistance, dance anyway.
