Face and embrace your fears & insecurities

Face and embrace your fears & insecurities

I pride myself on my ability to see the positive side of things, to learn the lessons and to be an eternal optimist. I actually wear it as a badge of honour. I like that I am able to handle adversity and challenges with dignity, positivity and a solution mindset, although can be really annoying for some people, who just like to be miserable. Well, this character trait of mine was severely tested this week, and I am surprised by what came out of it.

It is a challenging time for the whole world right now, and there is an uncertainty about how long it’s going to last. This uncertainty can lead, and has led, to fear, anxiety and an insecurity in people coming up to the surface. I have been able to hold strong to my optimistic mindset for the most part; thinking positive, looking for solutions, getting creative and having faith that everything is going to be okay. On Friday, however, things went a little pear-shaped.

After losing quite a few paid speaking gigs in schools, libraries and companies, I was still feeling optimistic. I had come up with, what I believed to be, a very creative and well thought through solution. I did some writing, developed a program, created a video and got on the phone to start talking to people about it. The response I got was positive, which fueled my optimism and motivation to keep going. To be honest, there was an underlying fear and insecurity, but I ignored it and kept on my merry way, until Friday. Cancellations, followed by rejections, followed by non-responses started chipping away at my positive and optimistic exterior. The straw that broke the camels back was the cancellation of an appointment I was relying on. which cracked through to expose my fear and insecurity.

For the rest of the day, I fell into pity-party and victim mode. My bottom lip rolled out, hit the floor and I allowed my mind to wander and start exploring worst case scenarios. For the next few hours, I lived in fear with all of those underlying insecurities about myself, bubbling up to the surface. Well, thankfully, a conversation with a great friend helped me to feel a little better, and I went to the greatest place on earth, bed, to sleep myself through into a new day!

I got up on Saturday morning, did my exercise and had my daily conversation with God. I was thanking him for the blessings in my life and I found myself thanking him for my fears and insecurities. Why, you may ask, was I thanking God for my fears and insecurities? That’s a great question, and this is what came up for me; without the fears and insecurities to face, embrace and negotiate, how can I ever become the person I want to become? I mean, if I had no fears and insecurities, life would be too easy, not challenging and therefore there would be no need to really stretch myself to see what’s possible.

I don’t know if that makes any sense to you, but the reality is, every one of us has fears and insecurities. All of the positive posts you see on social media, and all of the empowering webinar, live-streaming and video events that are available, are offered by people who, like me and you, also have fears and insecurities. They are just helping themselves face, embrace and negotiate those fears and insecurities by helping other people, as I do. My message this week is that it’s okay to feel fear and insecurity. Anyone who tells you there is no need to be fearful or insecure, is either a robot, or a liar. I want to encourage you this week to feel the fear, bring it to the surface and face it, don’t shove it down and try to ignore it. Look at it, question it, assess it and then embrace it. It is our fear and insecurities that keep us safe, which is a good thing, just don’t accept them as defining who you are. Spend some time this week facing and embracing your fears and insecurities, then, come up with some actions that will help you become stronger, better and more equipped for a life of joyful longevity.

Now’s the time to choose immunity!

Now’s the time to choose immunity!

My intention this week was to write a blog that had nothing to do with the global crisis we are currently experiencing. Clearly, I changed my mind, because, now more than ever, I feel like people need help to see the blessing, find the good and turn this time in history into one that is not just about surviving, but far more about thriving. With the right mindset, we can all use this time to launch us into a new, exciting and successful period of our lives, depending on what we choose. Many people, maybe even you, are choosing fear, panic and reactivity, but I want to encourage a different choice. Why not choose immunity!

I love the word ‘immunity.’ If you have ever watched Survivor, the greatest possession you can own in the game, is the immunity idol or necklace. Why? Because, it means you are protected, safe, secure and cannot be voted out. Every other player, without the idol, is vulnerable. This week, I want to show you where to find your immunity idol and how to win the immunity necklace, so that during this time in the game of life, you cannot be voted out or be vulnerable. The difference between what I will share with you right now, and the game of Survivor, is that in the TV game, once the immunity object is used, it’s gone. What you learn and apply from this blog will keep you protected, safe and secure forever. How does that sound?

The greatest fear people have at the moment is an infection of the Coronavirus. The reality is that the vast majority of people will never experience the sickness, however, everyone who lives in fear, panic and stress will experience a very different and far more dangerous infection which will impact their minds, bodies and lives. Of all God’s creations, your body is the most amazing miracle and is equipped with an immune system that will keep you protected, safe, secure, if you look after it. Are you ready to learn some simple steps to, turn on, power up and keep your immune system firing and protecting you, now and forever? If so, keep reading…

Mindset. If you understood that the thoughts and perspective you hold onto, create an emotional response that will have the greatest impact on your immune system, maybe you would look at things differently. The negative emotions; fear, panic, anxiety, anger, resentment and bitterness, to name a few, will immediately shut down your body’s immune system and leave you instantly vulnerable to all sorts of issues. So, how do we control our emotional state? Simply by being aware of how you are feeling, and, understanding that you control your emotions by the thoughts you chose to focus on. Now more than ever is the time to find the positive angle of what’s happening. Focus on the good, find the lessons and look for solutions. The best thing you can do, right now, is TURN OFF THE NEWS and stop reading newspapers! There are many more reliable and accurate places to stay informed and protect your precious mind.

Laughter. Is the best medicine. Hang around people who are positive and funny. Laugh at things, no matter how bad they may seem. Watch funny movies, tell jokes and look for the humour in everything. You can always find laughter, if you look for it, and it will significantly boost your immunity.

Nutrition. Now is the time to fortify your body with high quality, nutrient rich and immune fortifying foods. Yes, eating takeaway, processed and packaged foods may be easier, but do you want easy, or do you want joyful longevity? Eat lots of fruits and vegetable, of all five colours, every day. Take a quality plant based food supplement to ensure you have enough fortifying nutrients. Be deliberate to make good natural protein, carbohydrate and fat food choices. You know what they are, you don’t need me to tell you.

Gut Health. Did you know that 75% of your immune system is in your gut? The trillions of bacteria that live in your gut with either strengthen your immune syetsem and keep you safe, or destroy it and leave you vulnerable. It all depends on your emotional state, and, food intake. Positive mindset, natural foods and probiotic will build, whereas stress, processed foods and medication will destroy. Make good choices.

The things I have shared very briefly in this blog, if taken seriously, are not just reactions to the current crisis, but are habits, that if developed, will keep you strong, happy and healthy for the rest of your life. My book The Wellness Puzzle, is the best book you could read right now, as it covers all these areas in lots of detail. Please for your sake, and that of the people you care about, choose immunity.

What you focus on, you give energy to!

What you focus on, you give energy to!

As I write this blog, the world has gone crazy. People are doing illogical and irrational things, all based on an energy and attitude of fear that is gripping and rippling around the world. I am going to ruffle some feathers this week, I know it, and I don’t care. I never watch the news, listen to radio or read newspapers, but all I hear about is Corona virus. It is affecting businesses, it’s impacting schools, it’s changing people behaviour and there is no toilet paper left on the supermarket shelves! I have just one thing to say, if it relates to you… stop buying into the fear-mongering and return some of the toilet paper so that other people can wipe their backsides!

Last week I wrote a blog was called, Nothing is bad, it’s all content. I feel the same way about this virus, I just wish more people felt the same way. Just so you know, this is not a blog about the Corona Virus, it’s about what we focus on, where we expend our valuable mental energy, and, the impact that will have on many other lives. Have you ever seen such a vast and rapid wave of fear and irrational behaviour envelop the world? In all my years, I have not, and, I’ve seen a lot. People think the virus is affecting and infecting the world, let me tell you loud and clear – whether you agree or disagree, like me for it or not – the virus isn’t affecting and infecting the world, negativity and fear is.

Honestly, is it rational that people are buying all the toilet paper, knowing that many people who also need it will miss out? Is it logical and really worth cancelling events and group gatherings when some simple preventative wellbeing and hygiene steps can be taken? Is it really important news that a celebrity has the virus, when millions of people every day suffer from colds and flu and it never raises a glance? Come on people, get your focus on what’s really important in your life. If you watch the news, read newspapers and listen to the drama, you will stop living a life of joy, and buy into a life of fear. Is that what you really want?

Even just this morning I had a texting conversation with an amazing lady who is about to launch her new book. She was thinking of cancelling her book launch because of the fear that had infiltrated her mind and body. I sent her this message; ‘It’s fine, all just media hype and fear. Don’t buy into it and put your life on hold. People get colds, flu and viruses every day, but we don’t stop living because of it. Stop listening to it and your life will be better.’ She got the message, started refocussing on her book launch and she is feeling better.

Energy is a force that comes from our focus. It is a powerful force that is infectious, for the good and the very bad, as we are currently seeing evidence of. We are in control of the energy we emit to the world and the results that will impact our lives and the lives of others as a consequence. You are in total control of what you focus on, so get your shit together, give any excess toilet paper to someone who has run out and get back and focused on the right stuff.

This is coming out harsh, I know it. I really do understand it’s hard when everywhere you turn, and with everyone you talk to, the fear is apparent. However, can I encourage you to take control of the things you can control, and, block out the toxic rubbish. Focus on being healthy, eating well, taking your vitamins, washing your hands, staying hygienic and doing what you can do. Once you have done all that, stop watching and listening to other people’s rubbish. Then, focus on your best life, focus on the things you love, focus on being a positive influence in this world and watch your positive energy and attitude ripple out and have an amazingly powerful impact on the world

Happiness is a direction, not a destination!

Happiness is a direction, not a destination!

‘I’ll be happy when…!’ Have you ever said it, thought it or acted in a way that demonstrated it? I know I have, many times. I’ll be happy when I make the team. I’ll be happy when I make the money. I’ll be happy when my book is published. I’ll be happy when I have found my soulmate. I’ll be happy when I am looking the way I want. Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s great to be happy when you achieve anything significant, but why wait till you reach that far off destination, when happiness every moment of everyday will direct you there?

The problems with the, ‘I’ll be happy when,’ scenario is that, when you do actually achieve it, whilst maybe elated, you’re still not really happy. Why? Because; it took too long, you could have done better, there are other people who are achieving more, and you still need to achieve greater things, to be happy. Wrong! I can tell you from bitter experience, happiness will not come as a result of arriving at a destination, happiness is developed in each and every day as you love who you are, what you do and where you are heading,

I thought the most memorable, fulfilling and happy time in my professional footballing journey would be when the hard work and pain was over, and when I would finally make the team. In fact, it was that mindset which caused me to miss an abundance of happiness available in the process of achieving it. Looking back today, I can see clearly, the best part of my professional sporting career was the 20 months of rejection, doubt, overcoming, pain and discomfort between my first senior game of football and my second. At the time I was frustrated, annoyed and victim-minded each week that, yet again, I was passed over for selection. I didn’t realise it would be this challenging time that would prepare me for the rigors of the sport and a successful life after football. A life that is full of joyful challenges. If I knew then what I know now, I would have been happy with every day, every challenge and every seeming set-back on the journey.

In fact, today, with years and wisdom on my side, I now find it easy to be happy every day. For three reasons. The first reason is because I love and accept me, and believe I am good enough just as I am. As are you, by the way! The second is because I choose to be happy. Yes, happiness is a choice, and is not dependent only on great circumstances or goal achievement. The third reason is because I know everything that happens, good or seemingly bad, is to help me become a better person, learn something I need to learn and lead me to the purpose I am on this planet for. In fact, I was having this very conversation with the wonderful Fiona, who has just started the process of writing her first book. We were laughing about all the challenges that we have faced over the years and made the declaration that, there’s nothing bad that happens, it’s all content! It’s just great content for a blog, a book and a story that will entertain, inspire and help other people. That’s a great reason to be happy.

The physical, mental and emotional wellbeing benefits of being happy everyday are widely researched, studied and documented. If you have to wait until you arrive at a destination you are missing the greatest joy and fulfillment in life, which is waiting for you in every moment of every day. If you choose happiness, every day and in every situation, you will get to the destination you want without the stress, and, you’ll love the journey. Please know that happiness is a direction, not a destination.