by admin | 23 May, 2020 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
I talk a lot about the power and impact of our emotional state on our physiology, our choices, our behaviours, our habits and the results we achieve in our life. When we are able to get and remain in a state of joy, gratitude, love, empowerment and/or determination, amazing things tend to happen. When our primary emotional position is anxiety, fear, anger, resentment and/or guilt, then we are going to limited in what we get out of life. But rather than label emotions as good or bad, which I have made the mistake of making, we should use them as an indicator for our lives.
I have incorrectly labelled emotions as good or bad, positive or negative, healthy or unhealthy and right or wrong. It’s crazy when you think of it, because I know the many times in my life when I have been anxious, angry or fearful, if someone had told me to get over it and that those emotions are bad, wrong or negative, I would have hit them with a golf club! It’s about the only use my golf clubs would get! When I am angry, I don’t want reason. When, I am fearful, I don’t want logic. When I am anxious, I don’t want opinions. Do you know what I mean? This blog is all about helping you feel okay about not feeling okay.
At the end of 2019, I had the worst experience I have every had as a public speaker. I endured 45 minutes of negativity, interruptions and questioning from one person throughout my entire talk. This person poisoned the atmosphere, the other people and the whole experience. After the session, I felt a multitude of emotions, and none of them are what you would consider positive or healthy in any way. I felt attacked, angry, confused and I was evening doubting my ability as a speaker, even though I had done it successfully for more than 20 years.
After a short period of tantrum-throwing and thumb-sucking, I decided to assess my feelings to see where they were coming from and what they meant in terms of my beliefs about myself and perspectives about that session. I mean, I think in that situation, anger would be a normal response for many people, so I validated it and then worked through the anger to actually realise this person may have had a point on one or two areas. I made a decision, at that moment, to make some positive changes to my presentation. As soon as I did that, the anger was gone, and gratitude took its place.
I thought about the doubts I started to have about my ability as a speaker and I realised that it was a totally unfounded belief, as I have years of track record and positive responses about my speaking. Again, it was an almost an instantaneous change from confusion and doubt to clarity and empowerment to keep making the difference I am making in this world. I realised I wouldn’t have a positive impact on everyone, and that’s okay. This thought immediately brought a feeling of peacefulness in my body.
My point is this, our emotional state is simply an indicator of what is going on in our mind. When you are feeling happy, grateful, loving, excited, empowered, determined, empathetic or joyful, it’s an indicator your thinking is heading you and your life in the right direction. Whenever you feel anger, anxiety, fear, resentment, guilt or doubt, it’s simply an indication that you need to stop, reflect on why you are experiencing those emotions, and try to change your perspective to course correct. In my recent podcast with Dr Lillian Nejad, she discusses how we need ‘so-called’ negative emotions, as they’re an indication that things need to change. These feelings need to be validated before steps can be taken to make the necessary changes, and in the podcast, Dr Nejad discusses some great strategies to do just that.
You and I are human, and we will experience the whole gamut of the emotional spectrum, maybe even all in one day! You are okay. There is nothing wrong with you. Just learn to use your feelings as an indicator to your thoughts and then make the necessary changes you need to make to live a life of joyful longevity.
by admin | 16 May, 2020 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
I was having a mentoring session with Paul during the week, and as we were talking about his struggles to get a writing routine happening, inspiration hit. So, in the middle of the conversation, I interrupted and said, ‘I’ve got my blog topic for the week.’ He laughed and we kept talking about the book that he was writing. What was that inspiration? It was simply, to keep it low-key. So, what does that mean?
One of the issues I find many people have, as they aspire to write a book, build a business, get in shape or improve an area of their life, is to make way too big a deal of it. I speak to many people trying to lose weight or get in shape, and they feel like they have to empty the cupboards, give up everything they enjoy, train seven days per week and turn their lives upside down. Wrong, they just need to keep it low-key. I work with many authors and aspiring authors, and many of them feel like they can’t write their book unless they have hours of spare time, they have cleared the decks and there is silence in the house. Wrong again, they need to keep it low-key!
Think about something you are working towards achieving right now. Are you struggling with it because you think; it takes too long, is too hard, or that you are worried you don’t have what it takes? If that’s you, you are seriously overcomplicating success, in any area. The secret is to keep it low-key. Stop making the achievement of success a bigger deal than it needs to be. It truly is not the end result of sacrifice, sweat, blood, tears, knowledge, talent, hours of time or sleepless nights. It’s about a relaxed and low-key approach.
I said to Paul, as he was struggling to squeeze time into his busy life to write his book; ‘Mate, you are over complicating it. Just sit down for a few moments and just throw some words on the page. Do it each day. No mess, no fuss, no sacrifice. Just keep it low-key.’ Then I said, ‘If you miss a day, no biggie, just get back on track the next day.’ The issues start happening when we build success up into something massive that causes stress, puts pressure on us and starts the negative self-talk cycle. So, stop that stuff and keep it low-key.
The reality is that the world is actually a pretty forgiving place. The problem maybe you are not so forgiving of yourself, because you put so much pressure on yourself to perform. When you miss a day writing, making phone calls or attending to the thing you committed to, the world doesn’t collapse around you. You are way too hard on yourself, right? Be kind to yourself, get over it, keep it low-key and just get up the next day and; focus on what you want, eat breakfast, go for your walk, do some writing, hang with your kids, make those calls or whatever else you need to do. No pressure, no stress, and no biggie… just, low-key!
I had an amazing conversation on my podcast this week with Australian Netballer and Commonwealth Games Gold Medalist, Bianca Chatfield. Bianca’s main message in the podcast, as she discussed her wonderful success and the things she had overcome, was to, pretty much, keep it low-key. In her words, it was more around being flexible and adaptable. In other words, don’t stress about stuff, just look for alternatives, keep it low-key and keep moving forward. To listen to my conversation with Bianca, click here.
My goal in this blog is for you to feel happy, relaxed and optimistic about anything and everything you are working towards. It is true, you need to have a clear vision of what you want. Sure, you need to do the work, Yes, you need to be consistent. Of course, you will have to be flexible, adaptable and solution-minded. However, just know, it’s the simple things you do on a low-key basis that will add up over time and create the incredible success you will enjoy in your life.
by admin | 9 May, 2020 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
Our emotional state is the predictor of the things we will do and the life we will live. Does that sound like a big statement? It is big, and it is true. Think about the choices you make and the underlying reason for making them. Have you ever quit something because you felt discouraged? On the other hand, have you ever persisted through seemingly unreasonable challenges to achieve something because of determination? I think, we have all experienced each at some stage of our life. In both cases, the reason for your achievement or lack of achievement was not ability. It was an emotional state that led to the decision to quit or to persevere.
When I think about the things I have quit – and yes, my life is littered with quit jobs, relationships, projects and aspirations – some I’m glad I’ve quit, others I regret. No matter whether happy about my decision to quit, or regretting it, I made the decision based on the negative emotions associated with an uncomfortable and unenjoyable process. I quit a job because I felt anger and resentment towards a boss who continually criticised and put me down. I quit a relationship because I felt anxiety due to continual tension and conflict. I quit on projects and aspirations mainly because of discouragement and frustration due to, perceiving I was not good enough to make it work.
So, when I reflect on the things I’ve quit on, it was because I was so heavily focussed on what I didn’t enjoy about the process of success, and not on an incredible and compelling outcome. Now, don’t get me wrong, some of the things I quit on, I could not foresee an incredible and compelling outcome, and that’s one of the reasons I quit. For example, at the gym I quit from, because of the bullying boss, I could not see fulfilling future. However, there are things I quit on that I would have loved to be successful at. I quit on my guitar lessons at a young age, because I was discouraged and frustrated that I didn’t think I was improving. I would love to be able to play the guitar. Maybe one day!
When I think about the things I have achieved, even though the process was painful, discouraging, uncomfortable and frustrating at times, it was because I very clear on what I wanted and I placed my emotion on the fulfillment of those aspirations. Becoming a professional footballer was gut-busting, muscle-tearing, abuse-receiving and rejection-experiencing pain, yet, I was able to persist through it all for years, because I was determined and excited about achieving the result. Becoming a best-selling author was exhausting, frustrating, confusing and character-building, and, I made it happen, because I visualised my success and placed my positive, passionate and determined emotion on that, not the long hours of writing or the rejections from publishers.
In this week’s podcast, I talk to an amazingly inspiring lady, Lindsay Johnson. She has overcome alcohol addiction, the death of her brother at a young age, COVID-19 crippling her business and two miscarriages in 6 months. How has she been able to get through these devastating circumstances and come out happy, successful and abundant on the other side? Simple, she always focussed on what she wanted and placed her positive emotion on the person she wanted to be and the life she wanted to live. This kept her going, when many would have thrown in the towel. This is a conversation you will definitely want to listen to.
As you move forward in your life this week, you get to choose where you place your emotion. Will you place in on the yucky, uncomfortable and tiresome process, or will you fix it firmly on the successful achievement of your aspirations and outcomes in your life? If you put it on the painful process, you will probably quit. When you focus on your success and best life, you will be inspired to keep going to make it happen. Have an awesome week, with your emotion placed on what you want.
by admin | 2 May, 2020 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
Why is it that so often, when we launch off in pursuit of a goal or dream, we never reach it? Well, there are probably lots of reasons, excuses and justifications we could come up with, but there is really just one. We could possibly blame not having enough time, the Coronavirus, not being good enough or the weather. Maybe, we could get to the point where we justify why we didn’t really want to achieve it in the first place, and just accept where we are and what we have. But, honestly, are any of those the truth?
In my podcast this week, I talk to an incredibly inspiring man, Fernando Parnes, co-founder and CEO of BestBeing, a global wellness app. In our conversation, he describes beautifully the one key factor crucial to the achievement of any goal. In his situation, and he discusses this in great detail with me on the podcast, he found himself, a few short years ago, morbidly obese. When I say morbidly obese, he weighed over 450 lbs, which for the metric-minded people, is around 205 kgs. I won’t discuss how he found himself at that weight, you’ll need to listen to the podcast to find that out, but what I will tell you is, that just a year or so later, he had lost more than 230 lbs (105 kgs).
I weigh 85kg, and for me that is heavy. I find it hard to comprehend, losing ‘me’ plus another 20kg! In our conversation, we discussed a lot of the things he did to bring about this life changing transformation, but the one thing he said, on a repeated basis, was that to be able to lose the weight and be a healthy person, he had to think and believe he was a healthy person, before he even started. Okay, that’s a tough gig I’m thinking. Can you imagine, looking in the mirror to see a 450 lb body, then believing and affirming that the body you are looking at is already lean and healthy? It was hard, but it was the key for Fernando to do what he needed to do.
By truly believing he was already a healthy person, it was easier for him to do the things that a healthy person did, in terms of thinking, eating and movement. It was this mindset, coupled with the actions he took as a result that enabled him to get the extraordinary result he achieved. I don’t know about you, but that inspired me beyond belief. I have a goal right now, and it’s going to take work, focus and inconvenience. After speaking with Fernando, I know that the key to me making it happen is to start today, knowing and believing that I am that person who has already achieved it. This the hardest work associated with any aspiration.
Why is it so hard? Because it possibly flies in the face of what you may deep down believe about yourself, your potential and your ability to achieve the result. The work required is in reprogramming your thinking. This happens through positive affirmation and visualisation, listening to and reading the right stuff, associating with people who encourage, support and stretch you, and, daily action. But honestly, if the vision is clear, the thinking is right, your belief is positive and your desire is strong, the action bit is really just ‘a walk in the park.’
As you’ve been reading this and reflecting on a goal or aspiration you are currently working towards, ask yourself this; do I believe I am the person who has achieved this goal, right now? Unless you think and believe you are that person already, it will be much harder to consistently do the things you need to do to turn your dream into a reality. I am here to tell you that I believe you are good enough. I truly do. But, what I think and believe doesn’t matter, The only thing that matters is that, right now, you start believing you are already the person who has the achieved what it is you are after. You are good enough. Just believe it is done, and then get to work to make it happen.
by admin | 25 Apr, 2020 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
I have been so inspired this week by a lady, who shall remain nameless, but whose actions defy logic, and, have shifted me to another level. The lady in question has been hit hard financially by the current panic-demic. Yes, I wrote panic-demic, not pandemic. She works for herself and the vast majority of her income has dissolved due to the panic. She is an amazing lady with a strong Christian faith and belief that everything will be okay. In fact, as a result of this faith, she did something so extra-ordinary, it blows my mind.
Keep in mind, this wonderful lady has two daughters and a business that requires her to be working to be earning. She explained she had lost about 90% of her income. I believe it is picking up now, but still she needs money to live, right? Out of nowhere, and she calls it ‘God money,’ an envelope full of cash somehow found its way onto her front doorstep. It was truly a miracle for her. Now, what would you expect she did with that money? Go out and buy some food? Pay the rent? Pay some bills? Buy some shoes? Well, she did none of those things. What she did, amazed and inspired me beyond belief. She gave the money to someone, whom she believed, needed it more than she did.
Wow! All I can say is wow! What an incredible display of generosity and faith. Her faith is so strong that she knows, even giving away money she really needs, she will be okay, and, will be provided for. As she was telling me this story, I could hear the joy in her voice and I could feel the strength, power and benefit her act had given her. There is a powerful gift in giving that you actually receive, even when you don’t think you have anything to give. That gift is self-worth, self-love, self-fulfilment, more joy, significance, better wellbeing and more abundance in life.
So inspired was I, that I started seeing where I could give. It came to me as I was talking to many organisations about doing some online seminars during COVID-19, to help their people get through. As I was speaking to HR people, I was continually confronted with the same issue; the business had lost significant revenue, had laid-off lots of people and had no budget for my services. Then it came to me, I started offering a one-off session to these organisations and waive the fee. The expressions of acceptance, relief and gratitude started to come back to me and, it feels amazing. So, now I have booked several sessions with these groups, and I know I can help them. It feels wonderful to give, not expecting anything in return. I feel happier, healthier and more inspired as a result of this giving. The gift is most definitely for me.
So now, I want to throw this back to you. If you are feeling flat, stressed, fearful or anxious, what can you give? When you feel like you have nothing of value to share, what can you give? If you are feeling great, and you are already giving, what else can you give? You may not have money to give. You may not have time to give. You may not believe you have anything of value to give, but you do. Could you give of yourself? Could you give a smile to someone who looks sad? Could you give a word of encouragement to someone who is feeling discouraged? Could you give some expertise to someone who doesn’t know what you do? Could you give a compliment to someone who is doing great things?
There is never a time when we don’t want to receive love, support, encouragement or praise. Therefore, there is always a time to give. I want to encourage you to give something to someone every day for the next week and then let me know how you feel, and the gift you received as a result. Take my word for it, giving to others will provide wonderful gifts for you.
by admin | 18 Apr, 2020 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
I am a man who is very much living by faith these days. I have spent so much of my life trying to control every body and every outcome and I finally realised, I can’t do it, without going crazy, having no sleep or killing myself in the process. So, now, as author Phillip Yancey so profoundly says, I truly trust in advance, that which only makes sense in reverse. This blog is the product of my faith, trusting that a topic will come to me at the right time, and it did, as I was talking to the wonderful Shay during the week.
Shay is an amazing lady in Arizona, USA, who I am helping write her book. The week was getting towards the end and, to be honest, I hadn’t even thought about what I would write this blog about. There were too many other wonderful things happening; great meetings, incredible opportunities and launching my first ever podcast episode. I was talking to Shay, pictured above, who has a holistic wellness coaching business called Shay the Coach, and, is in the process of writing her book. She had struggled for a while to get into the rhythm of writing, but had somehow found the key that unlocked the door to let the words and inspiration start flowing out of her, and, she had written an incredible amount in a short period of time.
As we were chatting, I asked her what it was that triggered this wonderful cascade of words out of her head, her heart and onto the word document. She explained that, because if the COVID-19 isolation, she had been doubting that now was the best time to write the book. After some reflection, not only did she decide that now was a great time, but that now is exactly the right time to write her book. She knew that people needed to hear her message and her story now. She knew that her insights and expertise would help people get through this time and fortify them for future challenges they would experience in their life.
Just as she was talking, it hit me, this is the topic for this week’s blog. So, thank you Shay, I had faith and you delivered on that faith for me. So, the question I now have for you is, what are you putting off, procrastinating on, thinking that you’ve got lots of time to do, or that now is not the right time for? Let me tell you, now is exactly the time. The part of isolation I have been loving, is the ability and time to do stuff that I had been putting off. I finally launched my podcast this week, which I have been talking about for many months, now it’s done. I have been forced to rethink my business and my strategies and am doing things now that are exciting and energising me.
Thinking about doing stuff is hard work, doing is so much easier. The more I thought about starting my podcast, the more I got stressed about all that had to go into it, so, the more I put it off. The moment, I stopped thinking and started doing, amazingly, things started to happen, and it is now launched. Funny how that works, right? I didn’t ‘think’ it into existence, I ‘actioned’ it into existence! In normal circumstances, and by normal, I mean pandemic-free, I would still be encouraging immediate action, but I feel more strongly than ever that now is the perfect time, For what? For everything!
It’s the perfect time to invest time with your family and significant others to build a strong family unit. If you live alone, as I do, it’s the perfect time to get a stronger relationship with yourself. It’s the perfect time to make your health and wellbeing a priority. It’s the perfect time to learn how to use technology. It’s the perfect time to be incredibly grateful for what you have in life. What you do now, and turn into new wonderful routines in your life, will bless you and benefit you long after the Coronavirus is a distant memory. Look at it, get excited about it and do it, because now is the perfect time.
