Our emotional state is the predictor of the things we will do and the life we will live. Does that sound like a big statement? It is big, and it is true. Think about the choices you make and the underlying reason for making them. Have you ever quit something because you felt discouraged? On the other hand, have you ever persisted through seemingly unreasonable challenges to achieve something because of determination? I think, we have all experienced each at some stage of our life. In both cases, the reason for your achievement or lack of achievement was not ability. It was an emotional state that led to the decision to quit or to persevere.
When I think about the things I have quit – and yes, my life is littered with quit jobs, relationships, projects and aspirations – some I’m glad I’ve quit, others I regret. No matter whether happy about my decision to quit, or regretting it, I made the decision based on the negative emotions associated with an uncomfortable and unenjoyable process. I quit a job because I felt anger and resentment towards a boss who continually criticised and put me down. I quit a relationship because I felt anxiety due to continual tension and conflict. I quit on projects and aspirations mainly because of discouragement and frustration due to, perceiving I was not good enough to make it work.
So, when I reflect on the things I’ve quit on, it was because I was so heavily focussed on what I didn’t enjoy about the process of success, and not on an incredible and compelling outcome. Now, don’t get me wrong, some of the things I quit on, I could not foresee an incredible and compelling outcome, and that’s one of the reasons I quit. For example, at the gym I quit from, because of the bullying boss, I could not see fulfilling future. However, there are things I quit on that I would have loved to be successful at. I quit on my guitar lessons at a young age, because I was discouraged and frustrated that I didn’t think I was improving. I would love to be able to play the guitar. Maybe one day!
When I think about the things I have achieved, even though the process was painful, discouraging, uncomfortable and frustrating at times, it was because I very clear on what I wanted and I placed my emotion on the fulfillment of those aspirations. Becoming a professional footballer was gut-busting, muscle-tearing, abuse-receiving and rejection-experiencing pain, yet, I was able to persist through it all for years, because I was determined and excited about achieving the result. Becoming a best-selling author was exhausting, frustrating, confusing and character-building, and, I made it happen, because I visualised my success and placed my positive, passionate and determined emotion on that, not the long hours of writing or the rejections from publishers.
In this week’s podcast, I talk to an amazingly inspiring lady, Lindsay Johnson. She has overcome alcohol addiction, the death of her brother at a young age, COVID-19 crippling her business and two miscarriages in 6 months. How has she been able to get through these devastating circumstances and come out happy, successful and abundant on the other side? Simple, she always focussed on what she wanted and placed her positive emotion on the person she wanted to be and the life she wanted to live. This kept her going, when many would have thrown in the towel. This is a conversation you will definitely want to listen to.
As you move forward in your life this week, you get to choose where you place your emotion. Will you place in on the yucky, uncomfortable and tiresome process, or will you fix it firmly on the successful achievement of your aspirations and outcomes in your life? If you put it on the painful process, you will probably quit. When you focus on your success and best life, you will be inspired to keep going to make it happen. Have an awesome week, with your emotion placed on what you want.
While reading this blog I found myself resonating with you, Andrew. There are areas of my life in the past which I quit out of fear and lack of self worth. In the past I would let this negative emotions drive me away from careers, relationships, friendships, aspirations, following my dreams however now knowing what I now know, if these negative emotions rise I now use them as the driving force to keep me moving forward.
Thank you for this blog as it made me stop in the moment an acknowledge how I have turned my life around.