For the last forty years movement has been a massive part of my life. I needed to develop physical strength and stamina, back in the early 1980’s, to reach my dream of playing professional Australian Football. Then, as a personal trainer from the late 1980’s to 2006, movement was important to attain and maintain a physique and level of fitness I was proud of, and to help others do the same. From 2006 to today, movement – and not just the physical variety – has been part of what has helped me create the purposeful life that I love. What I have discovered, over these forty years, is that movement is not a physical thing, it is 100% a mindset.
Over the last seven days, which is the first week of winter here in Australia, I have woken up between 5 and 5:30am each morning to exercise. On three of those mornings the temperature was less than 3ᵒC. For you less than sympathetic people, for Melbournians, that is cold! On each one of those seven mornings, as my alarm went off, I did not want to get up and exercise, I wanted to hit snooze and stay snuggled in my beautiful warm and cosy bed for another couple of hours. However, before I even knew what was going on, the covers were thrown back, my feet were on the floor, I was getting ready and heading out the door to do my scheduled exercise session. In fact, each morning, I was probably about 10 mins into each session before I was really even conscious of what I was doing. Then, within in no time at all, my exercise session was over, I was home and feeling amazing, and so glad I did it.
That sounds a little crazy, I know, and you may be thinking I am some sort of robot or superhuman. I can tell you, with great confidence, I am neither of those things. What I have is a mindset of movement. I am not just talking about exercise either. I am talking movement in my personal life, in my professional life and in my spiritual life. Every morning, in addition to the exercise I do, and again without a lot of conscious thought, I am doing things to move me forward in all areas of my life. I am doing my affirmations, praying, reading and writing out my goals, looking at my vision board, sending connections on LinkedIn, writing my next book, talking to my mentor, making phone calls and walking my dog whilst jogging on the spot to get my steps up and singing worship songs. Oh yes, I do seem like a weirdo, there is no doubt about it, and to be honest, I am proud of that. I do it because I want to live my best life, and I know that it requires forward daily motion, in every area of my life. So, I made the decision years ago, to develop the mindset of movement.
I am guessing, by the fact that you are reading this, you also want to live the best possible life you can live, for as long as possible. Would I be right? Therefore, again I am assuming here, you would also like to develop the mindset of movement. If that is the case, the first thing I would encourage you to do, is to listen to my podcast this week with Dr Irene Tan, called ‘Move with fluency.’ Irene is a living example of someone living her best life and making movement a significant part of that. As a medical doctor, co-owner of a fitness centre and personal trainer, she discusses movement in the physical sense, but you will also get lots of inspiration and ideas about moving through life with ease and passion.
To develop a mindset of movement, there are a few simple things you need to do. Please understand there is a distinction between simple and easy. If success, optimal wellbeing, passion, purpose, achievement, fulfillment and abundance in life were easy to attain, then there would not be the devastating rate of mental, emotional, physical, financial, spiritual and relational challenges we see every day. Having said that, it is possible for everyone who is willing to commit to a process of forward motion, until that movement becomes a mindset, to predictably achieve everything they desire. Therefore, it must start with a clear vision of the life you want, in all areas, and that vison must create and strong emotional desire for its attainment. Without this first step, your focus on movement will lead you to frustration, discomfort and ultimately giving up before movement becomes a mindset. With clarity on what you want, you will have direction and drive.
The second step, as you move towards that vision, is to focus beyond the discomfort. I know for me, when I wake up and think about the discomfort of exercise, I am far more likely to talk myself out of it. On the other hand, when I focus on how amazing I will feel when I have done, I am excited, empowered and I get moving. The third step is to focus on and take it just one day at a time. Looking at the top of the mountain, when you are standing at the bottom is intimidating and overwhelming. You can, however, take the first step, then the second and so on. The mindset of movement will happen one step and one day at a time.
I could go into a lot more detail here, but if you focus on those three simple steps, in one area of your life, and I mean focus on them for a short period of time, the mindset of forward movement will become part of your DNA. When you get to the point when the things you need to do to be healthy, happy and abundant just become part of your mindset, life will never be the same again. Enjoy the journey to creating a mindset of movement.
There are times I go through stages of themes and I lock onto an idea or concept I really believe in, and I try to get that message out. I am in one of those stages at the moment and really feel like I have a powerful message that I want you to get in your heart. Back on April 17, I released a blog called Get full to overflowing. I am so passionate about the fact that our success, happiness and fulfillment in life relies on the fact that we fill ourselves to overflowing.
Fill ourselves with what? I hear you asking. Fill ourselves with love, confidence, belief, respect and worth. Fill ourselves with the belief that we are good enough, to the point where those feelings of self-love and belief overflow and lead to great significance and success in your life, and the lives of many other people. It’s the overflow that is the key to this. To really understand what I mean, please go back and ready my blog, https://andrewjobling.com.au/get-full-to-overflowing/ and watch this short video I did; https://youtu.be/ibZS-6ZF6Nk. Also, listen to my podcast, Your value is in you, not the bank, with Kye Harris.
I talk about filling yourself with affirming positive statements, reading inspiring books, listening to empowering audios and podcasts, attending amazing seminars, webinars and workshops and by associating with supportive, encouraging and successful people. I believe in these things totally and do them all on a daily basis. In this blog, however, I want to go a little deeper because, even if you do all these things, you can still struggle to get full to overflowing. Why? Because even though I may be reading and listening to things that empower and uplift me, and pour some water into my glass, if I am not very deliberate, my limiting self-talk and lack of self-love will pour that water straight back out again. So, I want to encourage you to go back to the foundation and understand, accept, forgive and then live.
I can tell you that this process has transformed my life, finally, after many years of struggling to really love myself. For so long, I couldn’t understand why I did and said the things I did. I couldn’t understand why I would give up on things and sabotage myself. I couldn’t understand why I found it hard to stay in a relationship. So, I decided I needed to understand myself. Whilst in lockdown and totally isolated in 2020, I did some serious self-reflection and work to understand this incredibly capable yet insecure man. I read an amazing book, called From Good Man to Valiant Man, by Dr Allan Meyer, and it helped me understand male chemistry, tendencies and challenges. Wow, did that ever open my eyes and help me recognise and finally understand myself in many ways. I reflected on my upbringing, my traumas and my parents’ own insecurities, and it really helped me see how they had influenced my beliefs and behaviours. I thought about the influence of seven years from the age of 16 to 23 at a professional football club and the impact of regular verbal abuse and the observation of some misogynistic behaviour. As I started to understand where many of my beliefs, fears and insecurities had come from, and as painful as it was, it helped enormously.
Then, I made the decision to accept myself. I started to accept and love myself for my quirks, my looks, which is often an area we beat ourselves up about, my preferences and differences and my dreams in life. I started to realise that I don’t need approval from anyone else, I only need to approve of an accept myself. I even started to accept and love my insecurities and fears. I know that sounds weird, but I am a human and I am not perfect, and I can tell you now, I love myself, warts and all. What a powerfully freeing feeling that is.
Then, the biggie, I chose to forgive myself. This was hard, as I have done and said so many things over my life that have led to regret, shame, embarrassment and pain. But I knew, if I was to live the life of joy, freedom and abundance I wanted, this was an essential step. So, I started the process of forgiving myself, with God’s help, for each and all of my mistakes, poor choices, inaction and thoughtlessness. It was a long list, it took time, was incredibly confronting and painfully uncomfortable, but it changed everything. The feeling of letting go of and total forgiveness for the self-bitterness, has given me wings to fly.
The end result of this process is that I feel I am now truly able to live my best life, and that all the other work I am doing to fill my glass to overflowing has more meaning and greater traction in my life. I am so aware that I only get one chance to live my life and I know now that I am good enough to make it the very best life it can be. I have a powerful passion and purpose to impact many lives and I know that the only way I can do that is get myself full to overflowing.
I know there is a lot of fluffy motivational stuff out there. I know that I have, in my time, contributed to that fluffy motivational stuff. Right now, forget about motivation and start in the process of honest self-evaluation and modification. I know you want to live an amazing life of significance and success. We all do. So, as hard as this may be, and in the interest of getting yourself full to overflowing, I want to encourage you to start on the adventure to understand, accept, forgive and then live the best life you can live.
As you know by now, if you have been reading my blogs and/or listening to my podcasts, it is my greatest desire to help you create permanent positive change and live your best life. You will also know that I want to be as honest as I can to make sure you, or I, don’t waste any of the precious life we have been given. That being the case, and as my disclaimer if I get a bit in your face, stop looking for the easy option or the shortcut. I have found, through personal experience and what I have observed with many others, the shortcut will lengthen the journey and provide you with an ongoing source of frustration, heartache and regret. You don’t want that, do you?
If you answered that last question with a big ‘NO WAY,’ then we are ready to talk. Let me share something about myself. I have been an incredibly impatient driver for much of my adult life. I hated stopping at lights and I hated getting stuck in traffic. These days, as I work from home most of the time and only drive during the day when the traffic is much lighter, I don’t have to deal with the frustrations of driving anywhere near as much. In the days of frequent driving, my goal was always to keep moving. I felt like if I was driving, I was making progress and if I was stopped at lights or in traffic, I was wasting time. I am sure there is some deep psychological issue associated with that behaviour, but we won’t go there right now!
My strategy was always to try and find a detour, and alternative route or a shortcut so that I could keep moving and arrive at my destination on time or earlier than planned. Have a guess as to how many times, over many years of persisting with this approach, that I saved time. If you guessed rarely to never, you would be right. Sometimes, I would take a detour to find a dead end and have to turn around and get back on the path I was already on. Sometimes, I would find an alternate route and, surprise, surprise, find the traffic was even worse than where I was. Almost every time I tried to find a shortcut it took me even longer to get where I wanted to be. So, why did I keep persisting and why did I continually let my impatient and shortcut mindset control my actions?
This is a great question, and one that maybe you should also be asking yourself. Let’s face it, as a human race, we love pleasure and we crave comfort. We don’t enjoy discomfort, effort, mistakes or uncertainty, and we definitely do not like waiting. Hence why the sparkly attraction and temptation of the shortcut or quick-fix is so strong, for most of us. However, please hear me loud and clear, and despite what you may believe or what you may have been sold, there is no shortcut or quick-fix that will ever lead you to permanent positive change or to living a purposeful life of joyful longevity. Sorry, I have to be honest here, to you and also painfully, to myself.
In over thirty years as a passionate advocate for optimal wellbeing, I am still flabbergasted by the amount of people looking for a quick-fix and shortcut answer to their weight, their fitness and their wellbeing, including myself. I remember in my teens, I was very skinny, and I hated it, especially as I had an aspiration to be a professional footballer and to impress girls. The thought of the work and time it would take to get where I wanted to be was a real turn-off, so when an ad came on TV advertising a chest expander that would only take five minutes per day for just a couple of weeks to turn me into a ripped and rock-hard beast, I was sold. I bought it, I got to work for five minutes per day, and in a couple of weeks I think my chest was even smaller than before I started! There are no shortcuts to permanent change.
In my podcast this week with the wonderful Delia McCabe, called ‘The truth about trendy diets,’ we discuss the common diets people use to try and effect fast weight loss, and in the process, compromise their wellbeing. Delia talks about great habits to create that will, over time, lead to optimal wellbeing and will predictably help us achieve the look we want for ourselves, and be able to maintain it forever. There is no shortcut to looking and feeling great. Just as there is no shortcut to wealth, career success and great relationships. The moment we start falling into the quick-fix trap is the moment we start to lengthen the time it will take for us to have what we want. Why? Because, when we finally realise the shortcut will only lead to frustration, loss, heartache and regret, and we ultimately understand that we need to follow the process, we have lost time, money and belief.
Let me go back to what I said that the start of this blog. It is my greatest desire to help you create permanent positive change and live your best life. If that is truly what you want, and if you are reading this part of the blog, I assume it is, then please stop looking for a shortcut and a quick-fix. It will never lead to permanent positive change. The only way to change your life for the better, forever, is to know what you want, be determined to make it happen, decide you will follow the process no matter how long it takes, get into action, and keep going until you are there. Just remember, the longest way home is always the shortcut!
What are you looking for? What are you searching for? What are you longing for? People spend their life searching for answers, insights, validation, acceptance, self-love, achievement, success and/or happiness. I have spent much of my life searching for all of those things. The more I searched, the farther away they seemed. When finally, I realised, I didn’t need to search any more. The search was finally over.
If you haven’t already listened to this week’s podcast called, ‘It’s okay to be you,’ with Tiffany Johnson, then I urge you to do it. At the age of 21, Tiffany took off on an adventure in search of herself, her value and her purpose after some traumatic experiences as a teenager and a young lady. This search led her to be on a mountain in Switzerland in 1999, and soon after she became one of the few survivors of the Swiss Canyoning disaster when a flash flood killed 21 people. It was through this tragic event, the trauma she sustained, the recovery path she took and the discovery of the meaning in the tragedy, she found herself. In fact, she realised she didn’t need to search at all. What she was looking for was there all along, she just needed to see, accept and love herself… imperfections and all.
My search started many decades ago, as a child. I’m not sure why, but I was a scared, insecure and attention-seeking middle child. I have spent most of my life searching for acceptance, validation and self-love to fill a void that could never be filled by anything or anyone other than me. I craved admiration as a professional footballer, and whilst my success did attract recognition from others, it didn’t fill the void inside of me. I chased validation as a personal trainer by building my body for others to be in awe of, and even though many were, it didn’t plug the hole I was trying to fill. Even my decision to become an author, in the early days, was driven by a desire to be respected and accepted as a valuable person by others. Many people lauded me for my achievement, except the one person who was never satisfied… me!
I chased love, validation, value and acceptance in many relationships that all faltered because I was expecting the relationship and partner, at the time, to fill a void only I could satisfy. I searched, doubted, hoped and chased my tail all the way into my mid-fifties, when the hardest, but the best thing that could have happened to me occurred. The world went into lockdown as the COVID pandemic took hold. This forced me to face the man in the mirror who I was constantly avoiding as I searched for answers elsewhere. Over many months, I looked, I cried, I questioned, I asked, I prayed, I laughed, I learned, I cried some more and finally, after all this time, I found what I had been searching for over so many years. I found I needed to search no further than the gloriously imperfect man that was looking back at me in the mirror.
The search was finally over, and it can be for you, the moment you see the incredible person who is looking back at you in the mirror. You and I are not perfect. We have made mistakes, we have made poor choices, we have put things off, we have let others down and we have given up on things. We have also done great things, achieved goals, helped others, made some great choices and made a difference in the lives of others. Whatever you are searching for, you can stop looking, because you already have the answers. No matter what you want for your life, you have the answers and potential to make it happen, now.
It is your choice to love yourself, irrespective of what may have previously believed, what you have or haven’t done, or what others may have said. You can do that now, so the search is over. The answers you want to help you achieve what you are aspiring to are inside of you and in easy reach of you. You can start today, so the search is over. The health you want, the career you are after, the money you want to make and the impact you want to have is here now, ready for you to take action on. The search, my friend, is absolutely over.
Everything you need to do, be or have whatever you want is within you, right now. You don’t need anyone else’s permission, knowledge, talent or resources, and you don’t need the right genes, circumstances or luck. You are already a blessed and highly favoured winner, and you have been equipped with a miraculous mind, and body that has the capacity to create any outcome you are after. You just need to; know what you want, be determined to make it happen, believe that you can take the first step, and decide to keep going until you are there. Trust me, you don’t need to look any further for the answers. The search is officially over.
It is my mission to help people believe more in themselves. It is my passion to encourage people to do more, be more and have more in their lives. It is my vision to inspire people live the very best life they can live for as long as possible. It is my purpose to empower people to take more action, make more mistakes, yet create more success. That being case, it is my hope, after reading this blog and when the next opportunity arises to do something you are not sure you can do, you will respond with, ‘why not?’
I was recently listening to a podcast with the title ‘Why Not?’ The speaker, a very successful businessman, was talking about two very different experiences he had whilst travelling internationally. The first was when he arrived in Germany for a stopover on his way to Greece. He got off the plan after a long flight, wanting a coffee before he got on his next flight. Keep in mind, he was flying first class, and as he went to the airlines private lounge for a quick coffee, he was stopped at the desk by a gruff airline employee. She looked at his ticket, and said, “You can’t come in on this ticket.” I can’t remember the reason why, but this gentleman tried to reason with her and ask her if it would be okay, since he was flying first class with their airline, to just go in for 5 mins and get a quick coffee. She looked at him with a stern expression on her face and said, “No!”
She was just doing her job, but it did seem a little inflexible and unreasonable to the traveller. Anyway, he finally got a coffee in the busy food hall and then got on his next flight to Greece. When he finally arrived at his boutique hotel, right on the Aegean Sea, he had his second and very different experience. He was starving, tired and just wanted something to eat. It was, however 3pm, a time when everything in Europe shuts down, so he wasn’t optimistic about his chances. He decided to take a chance and ask the concierge if there was a chance to eat. He was told by a very friendly man that the kitchen was closed, but he would ask the manager. The manager came over, and again, the weary traveller asked, if it would be possible to get something to eat. The manager, looking very thoughtful for a moment, replied, “Why not?”
The manager arranged for food and the traveller ate a delicious meal. He then thought he would test this manager again and he asked if there were any chance of getting a massage. The manager smiled and, even though the masseur had gone home, said, “Why not?” After a beautiful massage, shower and rest it was evening time. The traveller was sitting looking out over the water and enjoying a pre-dinner drink, when he noticed something unusual on the beach below. There was a lone table set up, with candles and dining, for two people, and a piano on the beach right next to it. He called for the manager and asked him what was going on. The manager explained that a couple were celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary and asked if there was something special the hotel could do for them. The manager had said, “Why not?” Then proceeded to carry chairs, tables, crockery, cutlery, glassware and even a grand piano down to the beach to make the couple’s experience a beautiful and memorable one.
That’s the power of ‘why not?’ You see, when you open your mind to possibilities, anything can be found, solved, created or achieved. I truly believe this. When I aspired to be a professional footballer, logic would have suggested that I was too young, too skinny and not talented enough. Whilst I don’t know if I actually believed I could make it happen, I didn’t know that I couldn’t and with a ‘why not?’ attitude, I got into action and made it happen. When I decided to write my first book, all the odds were against me and, again, it was hard to believe I could do it, but I couldn’t come up with strong evidence to prove that I couldn’t. Let me tell you, ‘why not?’ in that situation totally transformed my life, as I am now about to get my eighth book published. I am living my purpose today as a result of that ‘why not?’ almost 20 years ago.
Seriously, why can’t you write your book, regain your health, look amazing, forgive yourself, love yourself, create wealth, have beautiful relationships, make a difference and live the very best life you can possibly live? You can! The only reason you won’t is because of what you tell yourself. In my podacst this week with John Di Natale, called ‘Find your voice,’ we discuss the power of the words you use in helping you live your best life. So, from today and as you move forward in the one and only life you have, it is my greatest desire to empower and inspire you, as opportunities come your way, to ask, ‘why not?’ and then go on and make them happen. Trust me, you are good enough and you are on this planet to leave your mark. So, go forth and ‘why not?’ all over the place!
Why is it we spend so much of our life worrying about what others thinks of us? Why do we care whether others approve of us, think what we are doing is a good idea or not, or agree with our opinions? I ask myself that question on a daily basis. Why do I care so much? I mean, people only look from their perspective. They don’t know what’s inside of me and driving me to do the things I do. I know why I am doing them and that’s all that counts. I have realised that it doesn’t matter how it looks to anyone else, it only matters how it looks to me.
If you are a Rocky fan and have watched all of the movies, you will have watched the sixth movie, Rocky Balboa. In this movie, Rocky is well past his prime, has retired, owns a restaurant and has an adult son. He still, however, feels like he has some unfinished business as a boxer and, when an opportunity to fight in an exhibition bout with the World Heavy Weight champion comes up, he accepts it. Most of the world thinks he is crazy, the media have a field day, his son thinks he is crazy, and he starts to doubt whether it’s a good idea or not.
In a conversation with his friend Marie, he shares his concerns and fears of what others will think if he decides to go ahead with the fight. Marie listens intently, and after a short pause and a little preamble said; “You’ve got this opportunity, so do it! Why not? I mean, this is who you are, and this is who you’ll always be, and you don’t move aside for nobody until you’re ready to move. It doesn’t matter how this looks to other people, all that matters is how it looks to you. (Long pause) Rocky… Rocky… look at me (Rocky looks up at her). How it looks to you! And, if this is something that you wanna do, and if this is something you gotta do, then you do it. Fighter’s fight!”
I get chills up and down my spine watching this part of the movie, and even just thinking about that statement; all that matters ishow it looks to you! I am definitely no Rocky, that’s for sure, but the other morning, I was taking Joia for her early morning walk. My morning routine is a little weird. When I get back from my training, I plug in my earphones and listen to worship music as I jog around the block with Joia. Now that may not sound weird to you, but I am jogging on the spot while she is pooping, peeing and sniffing, in an attempt to add to my step count for the day. In addition to that, I sing with the worship songs, out aloud, often with my arms raised to the sky. Yep, that’s weird.
The other morning, I was out doing my thing, when I saw a man, who I have seen before, doing his thing, and something seemingly just as weird. He was walking up the hill, in the middle of the road, and he was walking backwards. So, just as I turned the corner jogging on the spot and singing worship songs out aloud, he was walking backwards up the hill in the middle of the road. I had to smile. I mean, I could just imagine how it must look to other people. What would people think of us? I even thought what he was doing was weird, and I’m sure he thought the same about me. However, do you know what? It doesn’t matter how it looks to others, it only matters and how it looks to me, and how what he was doing looked to him. We both knew why we were doing what we were doing, so nothing or no-one else mattered.
This is powerful! I know that because it is an affliction we humans have, all of us. Can I please share two things? One, people are not thinking about you, or me, they are thinking about only one person… themselves! Two, what they think about you is none of your business! The only thing that matters now and the only thing that ever matters is what you think about yourself. It’s totally irrelevant how things look to other people, it only matters how it looks to you!
I did worry about how it would look to others when I was a skinny, talent-deficient teenager trying to make it at the top level of Australian football. Just not enough for it to stop me, because how it looked to me was more important. I was concerned about what people would think about my writing and my ideas when I decided to write my first book. Thankfully, what I thought about becoming an author was more important, so I did it. Are you worried about how you look to others in your aspiration to; achieve better wellbeing, find a new relationship, restore a broken one, build a business, write a book, change career or any other area of your life? If so, why? Why isn’t what is important to you enough? It should be. Why don’t you trust yourself? You can. Why don’t you naively believe that you are good enough? Because, you are.
In my podcast called, ‘Give naivety a try,’ with Pietro Girgenti, ex-lawyer now founder of the fitness app Fitii, we talk about the amazing strength that lies in just naively believing that you are good enough. As you move forward, hopefully inspired, after reading this blog, please take the wise advice of Rocky’s friend Marie, who said; ‘It doesn’t matter how it looks to other people, all that matters is how it looks to you.’
