What are you looking for? What are you searching for? What are you longing for? People spend their life searching for answers, insights, validation, acceptance, self-love, achievement, success and/or happiness. I have spent much of my life searching for all of those things. The more I searched, the farther away they seemed. When finally, I realised, I didn’t need to search any more. The search was finally over.
If you haven’t already listened to this week’s podcast called, ‘It’s okay to be you,’ with Tiffany Johnson, then I urge you to do it. At the age of 21, Tiffany took off on an adventure in search of herself, her value and her purpose after some traumatic experiences as a teenager and a young lady. This search led her to be on a mountain in Switzerland in 1999, and soon after she became one of the few survivors of the Swiss Canyoning disaster when a flash flood killed 21 people. It was through this tragic event, the trauma she sustained, the recovery path she took and the discovery of the meaning in the tragedy, she found herself. In fact, she realised she didn’t need to search at all. What she was looking for was there all along, she just needed to see, accept and love herself… imperfections and all.
My search started many decades ago, as a child. I’m not sure why, but I was a scared, insecure and attention-seeking middle child. I have spent most of my life searching for acceptance, validation and self-love to fill a void that could never be filled by anything or anyone other than me. I craved admiration as a professional footballer, and whilst my success did attract recognition from others, it didn’t fill the void inside of me. I chased validation as a personal trainer by building my body for others to be in awe of, and even though many were, it didn’t plug the hole I was trying to fill. Even my decision to become an author, in the early days, was driven by a desire to be respected and accepted as a valuable person by others. Many people lauded me for my achievement, except the one person who was never satisfied… me!
I chased love, validation, value and acceptance in many relationships that all faltered because I was expecting the relationship and partner, at the time, to fill a void only I could satisfy. I searched, doubted, hoped and chased my tail all the way into my mid-fifties, when the hardest, but the best thing that could have happened to me occurred. The world went into lockdown as the COVID pandemic took hold. This forced me to face the man in the mirror who I was constantly avoiding as I searched for answers elsewhere. Over many months, I looked, I cried, I questioned, I asked, I prayed, I laughed, I learned, I cried some more and finally, after all this time, I found what I had been searching for over so many years. I found I needed to search no further than the gloriously imperfect man that was looking back at me in the mirror.
The search was finally over, and it can be for you, the moment you see the incredible person who is looking back at you in the mirror. You and I are not perfect. We have made mistakes, we have made poor choices, we have put things off, we have let others down and we have given up on things. We have also done great things, achieved goals, helped others, made some great choices and made a difference in the lives of others. Whatever you are searching for, you can stop looking, because you already have the answers. No matter what you want for your life, you have the answers and potential to make it happen, now.
It is your choice to love yourself, irrespective of what may have previously believed, what you have or haven’t done, or what others may have said. You can do that now, so the search is over. The answers you want to help you achieve what you are aspiring to are inside of you and in easy reach of you. You can start today, so the search is over. The health you want, the career you are after, the money you want to make and the impact you want to have is here now, ready for you to take action on. The search, my friend, is absolutely over.
Everything you need to do, be or have whatever you want is within you, right now. You don’t need anyone else’s permission, knowledge, talent or resources, and you don’t need the right genes, circumstances or luck. You are already a blessed and highly favoured winner, and you have been equipped with a miraculous mind, and body that has the capacity to create any outcome you are after. You just need to; know what you want, be determined to make it happen, believe that you can take the first step, and decide to keep going until you are there. Trust me, you don’t need to look any further for the answers. The search is officially over.