by admin | 27 Aug, 2021 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
This may sound like a negative start to this week’s blog, but I want to ask you to stop and think about all the things you don’t have you wished you did. What are you going without? What are you frustrated that you don’t have? What are you angry about that you wish you had done? What have you stopped even thinking or dreaming about because you feel like it will never happen for you? Yep, I told you. Sounds negative. The question is, of all the things you are currently going without, would you like to have them happen in your life? If you answered yes, then stop looking outside, and go within.
I had an incredible conversation on this week’s podcast, Overcome overwhelm and burnout, with the wonderful Geneviève Pépin. It was a powerful and inspiring podcast, and just as I was about to wrap it, I asked Geneviève for one last tip for listeners. I caught her off-guard, as she thought she had given enough, which she had. But it was this last statement she made that really brought the whole podcast together. After a moment of reflection, she said, Get to know yourself. Look inside and look within. If you don’t look within, you will go without. Wow, what a show-stopper that was.
The question you may be asking is, what does that mean? I want to bring it back to the questions I asked at the start of this blog. When we think about all the things we don’t have or are missing out on, we often find external factors to blame. I know I have done that in the past. I have told this story before many times, but it is relevant again here. I was sacked from the professional football team I played for seven years, after reading about it in the newspaper on a Saturday morning two weeks after the season had finished. At that time, I was young, dumb and I spiralled very quickly into blame and victim mode. I looked outside of myself to find all the factors I could blame. The club, the coaches, my lack of physical prowess, bad-luck and anything on which I could lay blame. Except the real reason for my sacking. Me!
I was an immature and insecure 23-year-old and didn’t have the wisdom Geneviève spoke about in the podcast. I couldn’t bear the thought that it was my fault, so I certainly did not look within. Hence, I went without continuing my professional football journey. Even today, it is challenging and often uncomfortable to go within and truly understand myself, my thoughts and my mindset when an undesirable situation occurs. I mean, how easy it to blame the government and COVID right now for many things we are going without? That is, unless, unless you decide to go within. I promise you; all the answers are in there.
I spoke last week about my tantrum when all my speaking gigs were cancelled and money was lost after the first COVID lockdown. Had I stayed stuck in the traumatic circumstance, I wouldn’t have been able to transform my business so quickly to online. The only way I did it, is because I stopped, I reflected, I went within, and I found the answers that were there. Those same answers are waiting within you. All you have to do is have the courage to go there.
The most challenging time of my life was also in 2020 during the long lockdown in Melbourne. I was living alone after my third marriage had ended not long before. I was feeling lost, lonely, scared, and insecure. I couldn’t understand why I was in this position in my mid-fifties. I mean it was certainly not the plan, that’s for sure. It would have been easy to blame other people but, for the first time in my life, I decided to go within and try to understand myself. It was terrifying because I was so scared of what I would find, and that things would never change. I went in anyway. Incredibly, as a result of that introspection, understanding, acceptance and forgiveness, I am a new man. Had I not had the courage to go within, I know I would be continually going without.
So, we are at that stage in the blog when I ask the question, what about you? What is it you are currently going without, at the moment, that it is ever so tempting to blame someone or something else? I want to suggest you go within and find the answers there. That means, thinking about what you really want. It means, listening to your self-talk about the circumstance. It means assessing your feelings and try to understand the thoughts, beliefs, or the perspective you are focusing on. It means thinking about what you can change, what you can do and what you are in control of. It means thinking about your strengths and your capacity that you can create the change you want. It means loving and believing in yourself.
All of the answers you are looking for lie within you. That is the best news you will ever hear. It means that no matter what is happening around you, nothing or no-one can steal or affect what is happening within you. As you move forward in one of the most challenging times in the history of our lives, just know that the only way you can ever go without is if you don’t go within.
by admin | 21 Aug, 2021 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
Don’t you just get sick of, and annoyed by all the positive thinkers sometimes? There are times I even annoy myself! I am that irritating guy who is always ‘Mr Positive.’ When challenges happen, and they are coming at us thick and fast at the moment, we don’t always want a solution, a lesson or a positive perspective, do we? Sometimes we just want to have a tantrum! So, this week, if this sounds good to you, I want to encourage you to schedule a tantrum, and enjoy it!
There is a real danger of trying to be positive all the time, especially if deep down you are angry, fearful, anxious, or frustrated. All over social media there are positive messages. Podcasts are full of ideas of hope, resilience, and positive mindset strategies. Self-help books are everywhere and there many ‘motivational’ speakers sharing inspiring stories. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am one of them, but sometimes we don’t need motivation or solutions, we need to release pent-up emotions. There is an increasing pressure, at the moment, to ‘look at the bright side of life.’ The reality is, we feel overwhelmed, anxious, scared, upset and unsure, and just want to scream, swear, and sob!
Last year right at the very beginning of the pandemic, we had no idea would last so long, I had a tantrum to end all tantrums. It was March or April 2020; I can’t remember exactly. I was confident, optimistic, and excited about my year and the great things that were planned. I had about four or five school talks booked and another four or five corporate talks in the diary. I had even just been booked to be the keynote speaker at a conference on the Sunshine Coast and was planning to spend time with some friends up there after the conference. Things were great and I was excited that my wave of wellness was expanding.
Then, COVID hit, and we went into lockdown. One after the other every single one of my speaking gigs were cancelled. This represented many thousands of dollars, a significant percentage of my annual income was gone, in a heartbeat. I was numb, and my whilst natural tendency was and is to find a solution and a silver lining, at that time, I thought f#@k it! I am going to have a full-blown and almighty tantrum. I was living alone, soon after my marriage had ended, with my fluffy four-legged girl, and I slid down the wall, dissolved into tears and I sobbed hard. I screamed, I kicked, and I complained as my dog, Joia, just sat there watching with a perplexed look on her face.
After a period of dummy-spitting and laying in foetal position on the floor, I finally got up, with a surprisingly clear head, and thought, okay, what do I do know? From that moment, I got into action. I transitioned my talks online, I picked up the phone and got more speaking gigs, I started my podcast, I found a publisher for my soon-to-be-released ‘TEARS of Joy’ book, and was back feeling empowered, excited and in-control again. I don’t think I would have been so pro-active had I not allowed myself to have that wonderfully liberating and wall-shaking tantrum.
What are you holding in right now? What is it you need to let out? What is your frustration, fear, anger and/or anxiety? It’s okay to feel it, you are a human being going through a very challenging, maybe even traumatic time in history. Is it time to schedule a tantrum? So, what do I mean? I mean, book in a time and let it out. It maybe now, it maybe later today or during the week. It may even be a regular time that you allow yourself to feel the emotions that, as a human, you are meant to experience. Schedule it, find your location, release the most passionate tantrum you can, and then, get over it.
You are far better to have the tantrum and get it out of your system than hold onto it because you think you need to be Mr or Ms Positive. Release it and you will feel free and clear. Then you will be much more able to find the answers, take control and move forward in your life. Keep it scheduled, keep it short and let it go! Holding emotion in, can lead to some devastating outcomes, including very dark thoughts, and maybe even actions. In my podcast, Pure perpetual positivity, I speak with Jackie Simmons about the amazing work she is doing to stop teen suicide.
This week, let it out! Stop pretending to have it altogether if you don’t. The answers and solutions are definitely there, but you may have to clear the mess before you will see them. There is nothing more cleansing than a fabulous tantrum, so schedule yours today.
by admin | 14 Aug, 2021 | Andrew's Blog, Wellness
I do a regular spot on a couple of radio stations, and I really enjoy it. I do ‘Thursday Thoughts’ with Pablo on Triple M, Karratha, and ‘Mental Health Monday’ with Elerrina & Jodie on Juice FM, Gold Coast. I am grateful for the opportunity to share some thoughts on great radio shows to help me on my mission to create a wave of wellness around the world. On Monday, Elerrina & Jodie asked me about some simple things people could do, in these trying times, to be happier and healthier. I encouraged their listener to take the 3G challenge.
There is no doubt about it, we are living in trying times. There is no doubt about it, we are also living in exciting times. So, which is it? Testing times or exciting times? That’s a question only you can answer, based on the meaning you give to the situations and circumstances you experience. In my last blog I spoke about being an inverted paranoid, and I would encourage you to read it, as it will help with this important perspective. What I want to do this week is offer you a challenge if you are up for it and want a more exciting and fulfilling experience of life. That challenge will require you to focus on three simple things each day for the next seven. They are the three G’s.
Gratitude
You’ve heard it, you know it and you’ve experienced it. The question, is focusing on what you are grateful for part of your daily life? You see, you can’t be angry, anxious, fearful, resentful, bitter or worried and grateful at the same time. We can only hold one emotion in our bodies at one time. My thinking is, why not hold an emotion that will strengthen your physical well-being, improve relationships, and help you make choices that will enhance your life? Gratitude neutralises the emotions that harm you and will potentially lead to harming others. It is so simple. No matter what happens, just ask yourself, what is there to be grateful about this situation? If you ask the question with intent, you will always come up with an answer.
It is easy to be grateful when things are going the way you want them to go. It’s not so easy when adversity strikes. So, let’s try this right now. Think about something that, at first look, seems adverse to you. Now, as hard as you can, try to find something to be grateful for about it. In Melbourne, as I write this, our sixth COVID lockdown has been extended yet again. My first thought was Sh#t, I am so over this. However, upon deliberate reflection, I am grateful that I get to help more people, spend more time with my cute pup, and reflect more on the blessed life I have. How did you go? Compare the feeling in your body when you thought about the horrible situation versus when you focused on what you were grateful for. Different right? Challenge 1: can you spend time every day, no matter how bad things may seem, to focus on what you have to be grateful for?
Give
Have you ever noticed, when you feel bad, or you are going through a challenging or traumatic time, how doing something for someone else always helps you feel better? Why is that? Because you shift the focus off yourself, and your own problems to helping someone else. One of the most abundantly powerful, joyful and healing strategies is giving to others. Giving love, giving time, giving encouragement, giving support, giving money and giving of yourself with change lives. Not just the life of the person you are giving to, but your own.
Not long after my mother had been diagnosed with secondary cancer of the liver and was given only a short time to live, she started working with Petrea King at the Quest for Life Foundation and giving support to other cancer patients. I believe this is one of the reasons she outlived the medical prediction for her life by fifteen years. Challenge 2: give one thing every day that helps another person in some way.
Grow
It is very easy, at this time in history, to focus on all the things we have had taken from us, and what we can’t do. I want to encourage you to focus on the things you are in control of. That is, your own growth. I want to encourage you to be creative and start taking positive action, today and this week, on something that will enhance your life. You could spend time each day listening, reading, and learning something that will help you in your life. You could focus each day on building a stronger family unit or improving your own physical wellbeing. You could get creative and start writing your book, painting, developing your musical ability, building a business, or starting a new hobby. Why not now and why not you?
One of the best things I did in 2020, was finally, as a result of lockdown, start The Wellness Puzzle Podcast. I have just launched episode 72, called Return to self, with Meryem Arpaci. What she talks about will help you on your growth journey with this challenge. Challenge 3: do something every day that will grow you or a part of your life.
In just seven days, if you focus on the 3 G’s, I know you will be a different person and have a different experience of life. I say it all the time. Life is way too short to spend focused on what you don’t want. What happens in your life is up to you and how you respond to the circumstances you are exposed to. Take the 3G challenge and take control of your life.
by admin | 7 Aug, 2021 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
What we experience in life is far less about the circumstances and very much about how we respond to them. I think deep down, we all know that. We live in a time in history when there are many paranoid people, thinking that they are unlucky, and that the world is out to get them. I hope that’s not you, but just in case it is, I want to encourage you to try inverted paranoia for the next week and see how it goes.
If paranoid people believe that the world is out to get them, then inverted paranoid people believe the world is out to help them. I don’t know about you, but I know which one I prefer. You may be asking, how can just saying, and believing I am an inverted paranoid change the circumstances I experience? That, my friend, is an incredible question. I have an equally incredible answer; it doesn’t change your circumstances at all.
Now, that may seem like bad news or a waste of time, but it’s not. In fact, it’s transformational. Your circumstances may not change, but what does change is the meaning you give to your circumstances. Instead of seeing them as ‘happening to you,’ you will begin to see them as ‘happening for you.’ What if you truly believed, because of your inverted paranoia, that the things happening in your life, no matter what, were there to help you live your best life possible? It would immediately move you from pessimism to optimism. It would instantaneously take you out of victim thinking and put you into possibility thinking. It would directly open the opportunity to help you identify and fulfill your purpose in life. This will only happen when you invert your paranoia.
An inverted paranoid sees COVID as an opportunity to help people, build stronger relationships, start business and/or slow down in life. An inverted paranoid uses the loss of employment as a way to find the career path they can be passionate about. An inverted paranoid decides that the end of a relationship will provide the time and space to become a better person and find an even more fulfilling. An inverted paranoid sees the loss of money as a lesson to build greater wealth for themselves and their family. An inverted paranoid perceives poor health as a way of their body telling them to create positive change, and they listen and act.
An inverted paranoid sees the adversity in their life as a platform to help other people and fulfil their own destiny in life. This is exactly the case for Justine Martin, who was an amazing guest on my podcast, We cannot buy time. Justine flows with passion, purpose and energy which might sound strange when you hear what she has been through over the last ten years. Since 2011 she has faced many physical challenges, including Multiple Sclerosis, three different types of cancer, and heart disease. I asked her why she was so positive and optimistic when the world seemed to be out to get her. The inverted optimist explained that the adversity she had been through and overcome enabled her to find her purpose and help more people.
Now, that’s what I am talking about. This week, I want to suggest, for the fun of it, to try inverted paranoia for yourself. Try to see everything that happens in your week as the world being out to help you achieve your incredible destiny. Would you be willing to give it a go? If so, you will see that your insecurity is meant to help you become more secure, your health challenges to help you create optimal well-being, your relationship conflict to build an even stronger bond, and your financial woes to move you towards financial strength.
Look for the good in everything that happens this week. If you look for it, you will find it. Trust me. You will find the lessons to help you improve. You will find the strength you have within. You will find the people who can help you. You will find opportunities you never knew existed. You will find joy you never thought possible. Yes, all this will happen when you become an inverted paranoid.
by admin | 31 Jul, 2021 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
As I sit here and write this blog, I am increasingly aware of the miracle my existence on this planet really is. If you have ever tried to work out the odds of you being born, I promise, your head would explode. It is not possible to work it out, and the chances are so negligible that there is no way our physical presence can be luck. Your life, and mine is an absolute gift that we should never take for granted.
The likelihood that you were conceived in the moment of your parent’s amorous act, is around 300,000,000 to one. That is approximately how many sperm set off in pursuit of fertilising the solitary egg. That in itself is pretty hard to comprehend. What about the odds of your parents meeting? That is making things a little bit more mind-bending. Well then, think about the probability that each of your parents were born, and the chance of their parents meeting? Is your brain starting to sizzle? What about grandparents and great grandparents? You could go on and on here, right? Do you honestly think there is any way to calculate the almost non-existent possibility of your existence? I don’t think so.
This can lead me to one conclusion. Our existence is miraculous, we are no accident, we are here for a purpose, and our life is an incredible gift. If this is the case, shouldn’t we be celebrating our life more, and making the most of every second to ensure this gift is not wasted? Each one of us makes up a very small part of a global ecosystem that is amazing. Each person is critical. Every thought, every feeling, every word, and every act is having a ripple effect that is impacting the world.
Now, if you are like many people, you may be thinking your existence doesn’t make a difference or having any bearing on the lives of other people, or the world. I beg to differ. I do believe that every moment of every day you are alive counts and is impacting the people you directly deal with, in any capacity. Every interaction ripples out far and wide, beyond anything you could ever imagine. You are a critical stitch in a global tapestry.
Think about the television screen you watch. As you enjoy the sharp and clear picture, have you ever stopped to think about all the seemingly insignificant components that go together to bring that picture to you? Don’t do this, but if you were to take the back off your TV you would see all these thousands of components. If you found the one that seemed the least important and disabled it or removed it, it would have a ripple effect that would interfere with the sharp and clear picture you were enjoying. In fact, it may even totally disable the picture altogether. You are a vital component in the global picture.
I hope you are convinced that you are a miracle, a difference maker, and an incredibly special and important person. I hope you are certain that your life is a precious gift, to be lived and loved. That being the case, I want to encourage you to enjoy your gift and share it. Lift your head up now and look at the people and the world around you with gratitude and joy. Do something today that makes your heart sing and reaffirms the gift that your life truly is. Do something for someone today that will positively impact their life and will ripple out and effect the lives of others. Make the most of this gift you have, as it has an expiry date.
Jade Edmistone, my guest on this week’s podcast called, Jump and the net will appear, has truly embraced the gift of life. She is a world record breaking, world champion swimmer, who spiralled with serious mental health issues after her illustrious swimming career ended. She has now made the decision to enjoy the gift of life she has been given, learn the lessons from her experiences and share her story and her wisdom to help many people. We are all here for a very special and important purpose. Yes, that means you!
So, as you get on with your life today, believe that it is a precious gift. Treat it like that and enjoy every moment of every day, even the challenging ones. Enjoy the wonderful things around you and use any adversity you may experience as a platform to help others and positively impact the world. What a remarkable component of the world you are. What a magical gift you have been given. Please make the most of it, every day.
by admin | 23 Jul, 2021 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
We all live in a relatively predictable world. Maybe what’s happening around us is not predictable, but the way we perceive, respond, or even react often is. We make choices that are familiar to us, we take actions that we are comfortable with, and we experience outcomes that we are rarely surprised about. Did you know that there are many possibilities and outcomes available for you in your life? I want to encourage you to explore unexpected outcomes this week.
My most recent podcast with Bruce Molloy, called Flip your journey to freedom, has had a powerful effect on me. Bruce spoke about the most amazing, and unexpected, journey he experienced after deciding to let the flip of a coin guide his life for 12 months. After losing his partner, his job, and his home, he found a twenty-cent piece on the dashboard of his camper van. With nothing to lose, he decided to let that coin determine the direction he would travel and the things he would do for 12 months. He would ask a question about something, and then flip the coin. A ‘head’ would be a yes, and a ‘tail’ would be a no with that option is no longer available. He would continue with this process until he got a ‘head.’
His first decision was which direction to head in his camper van. He asked, should I go south? Toss, tails, no! He then asked, should I go north? Toss, heads, yes! So, off he went. His journey took him to some amazingly unexpected places and doing things he said he would never have done if not for the coin flip. He said, in no uncertain terms, it led him to a feeling of freedom. After I finished the conversation with Bruce, it was dinner time and so I was inspired to use his strategy to decide what I would have for dinner.
Why his flipping strategy is so powerful is because the toss is not to choose between two known options, it potentially creates the need to come up with ideas that may never have been considered. For Bruce’s incredible journey, you will have to listen to the podcast, but I will share my dinner adventure, which led to a gastronomically unexpected outcome. I asked, will I have chicken? Toss, tails, no! I asked, will I have fish? Toss, tails, no! I asked, will I have vegetarian? Toss, heads, yes! I asked, will I make it vegan? Toss, heads, yes! Okay, unexpected, but that’s cool. I then asked, will I have a salad? Toss, tails, no! I asked, will I have a stir-fry? Toss, tails, no! Now, my mind was scrambling for ideas. I asked, will I have a rice dish? Toss, heads, yes!
I ended up making an unexpectedly delicious rice dish with vegetables, cut up vegan sausages, vegan feta and raw nuts. This is a simple and less than spectacular outcome, but a meal I would never have decided to make without the coin flip. I am telling you this story because I want to offer you a challenge this week, to see if you are courageous enough to allow a coin to determine some basic decisions in your life. If you are, I know there will be some wonderfully unexpected outcomes you will experience by letting go and giving control over to a coin. Trust me, it’s an incredibly liberating thing to do.
If you are up for this challenge and you do in fact create an unexpected and exciting outcome for yourself, no matter how simple it may seem, please let me know. I know that Bruce Molloy would also love to hear about it. So, once the outcome is experienced, could you please send an email to me at andrew@andrewjobling.com.au and copy in Bruce at book@flipyourjourney.com? In that email, please let us know the outcome of your coin flipping and how it felt for you though the process. I look forward to hearing from you.
We are often boxed into life by the limitations of our thinking, based on our knowledge, experiences, self-belief and fear. There are experiences and opportunities out there that you may not have ever considered, and the ones that will transform your life. This is the case for Bruce Molloy. Have fun with your coin flipping this week and I look forward to hearing about your unexpected outcomes.
