Don’t you just get sick of, and annoyed by all the positive thinkers sometimes? There are times I even annoy myself! I am that irritating guy who is always ‘Mr Positive.’ When challenges happen, and they are coming at us thick and fast at the moment, we don’t always want a solution, a lesson or a positive perspective, do we? Sometimes we just want to have a tantrum! So, this week, if this sounds good to you, I want to encourage you to schedule a tantrum, and enjoy it!
There is a real danger of trying to be positive all the time, especially if deep down you are angry, fearful, anxious, or frustrated. All over social media there are positive messages. Podcasts are full of ideas of hope, resilience, and positive mindset strategies. Self-help books are everywhere and there many ‘motivational’ speakers sharing inspiring stories. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am one of them, but sometimes we don’t need motivation or solutions, we need to release pent-up emotions. There is an increasing pressure, at the moment, to ‘look at the bright side of life.’ The reality is, we feel overwhelmed, anxious, scared, upset and unsure, and just want to scream, swear, and sob!
Last year right at the very beginning of the pandemic, we had no idea would last so long, I had a tantrum to end all tantrums. It was March or April 2020; I can’t remember exactly. I was confident, optimistic, and excited about my year and the great things that were planned. I had about four or five school talks booked and another four or five corporate talks in the diary. I had even just been booked to be the keynote speaker at a conference on the Sunshine Coast and was planning to spend time with some friends up there after the conference. Things were great and I was excited that my wave of wellness was expanding.
Then, COVID hit, and we went into lockdown. One after the other every single one of my speaking gigs were cancelled. This represented many thousands of dollars, a significant percentage of my annual income was gone, in a heartbeat. I was numb, and my whilst natural tendency was and is to find a solution and a silver lining, at that time, I thought f#@k it! I am going to have a full-blown and almighty tantrum. I was living alone, soon after my marriage had ended, with my fluffy four-legged girl, and I slid down the wall, dissolved into tears and I sobbed hard. I screamed, I kicked, and I complained as my dog, Joia, just sat there watching with a perplexed look on her face.
After a period of dummy-spitting and laying in foetal position on the floor, I finally got up, with a surprisingly clear head, and thought, okay, what do I do know? From that moment, I got into action. I transitioned my talks online, I picked up the phone and got more speaking gigs, I started my podcast, I found a publisher for my soon-to-be-released ‘TEARS of Joy’ book, and was back feeling empowered, excited and in-control again. I don’t think I would have been so pro-active had I not allowed myself to have that wonderfully liberating and wall-shaking tantrum.
What are you holding in right now? What is it you need to let out? What is your frustration, fear, anger and/or anxiety? It’s okay to feel it, you are a human being going through a very challenging, maybe even traumatic time in history. Is it time to schedule a tantrum? So, what do I mean? I mean, book in a time and let it out. It maybe now, it maybe later today or during the week. It may even be a regular time that you allow yourself to feel the emotions that, as a human, you are meant to experience. Schedule it, find your location, release the most passionate tantrum you can, and then, get over it.
You are far better to have the tantrum and get it out of your system than hold onto it because you think you need to be Mr or Ms Positive. Release it and you will feel free and clear. Then you will be much more able to find the answers, take control and move forward in your life. Keep it scheduled, keep it short and let it go! Holding emotion in, can lead to some devastating outcomes, including very dark thoughts, and maybe even actions. In my podcast, Pure perpetual positivity, I speak with Jackie Simmons about the amazing work she is doing to stop teen suicide.
This week, let it out! Stop pretending to have it altogether if you don’t. The answers and solutions are definitely there, but you may have to clear the mess before you will see them. There is nothing more cleansing than a fabulous tantrum, so schedule yours today.