by admin | 6 May, 2022 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
The thing we spend so much time seeking is already there. The one thing we all desire, and feel is elusive, is sitting right in front of each of us. Have you ever said, I will be happy when…? I know I certainly have. We often feel like happiness is an event that only occurs when we reach a predetermined destination, but we have it all wrong. Happiness is already there and waiting for us to grab, no matter where we are in life.
My story is a long and sad one about how, from a very young age, I chased the seemingly mythical and elusive happiness. I couldn’t understand why, as a child, I wasn’t happy even though I got all the love and attention I needed from my mother and father. I was mystified why, in my teens and early 20’s after I had worked so hard to make it as a professional footballer, I still wasn’t happy. I was confused as to why, in my 20’s and early 30’s, after working obsessively on my body to be admired by many other people, I still wasn’t happy. To be honest, I was getting over it, as I overworked myself in my businesses in my 30’s believing it would gain me respect, and then finally I would be happy. Instead, I found myself broke, broken and bordering depression. All the chasing of happiness I had done had left me feeling like I was never going to be happy.
You see, I had, like many other people have, a totally misguided perspective on what happiness is and where it can be found. We have all be born into a flawed world. One which places value, I believe in the wrong things, and gives us a totally skewed belief about what success and happiness really is. For much of my life I have believed that I can only be happy when I have: money in the bank, the body I want, a loving relationship, achievement as a sportsman, author or businessman and many other things that are outside of me. As I regularly compared myself to others, I always came up short, and hence continually put off my happiness until I had achieved more. It is a dangerous and never-ending cycle of pain that is easy to fall into.
Things are very different for me these days. In truth, I would have to say, despite the fact I am aspiring to achieve more in my life, and I face challenges every day, I am always happy. I was recently talking to Philip Robison on his Saving Brothers Podcast, and the first question he asked me was, How are you today, out of ten? I said, without any hesitation, I am a ten! As I explained to him, that doesn’t mean I am being Pollyanna or delusional, nor does it mean I don’t deal with sadness, frustration, or other challenges in my life. It means, I am happy with me, I am happy where I am in my life, I am excited about the things I am doing, working on, and aspiring to, and, I know that everything I have to deal with in my life is there to help me be better, learn more and open doors of possibility. Why wouldn’t I be happy?
You see, when you make the achievement of an outcome your only reason to be happy, you will end up chasing the tail of frustration and regret your whole life. However, when you recognise that happiness is right there staring you in the face, because of who you are, then things will change dramatically. With happiness comes, gratitude, peace, fulfilment, purpose, and significance. It’s a wonderful package. When you let go of the ego need to be validated, and just look inside to recognise the amazing person you already are and the impact you are having on the life of others, a warm glow will fill your heart, and a smile will form on your face. Trust me, you are already there, and happiness is yours for the taking.
In my podcast this week, called Finding Happiness, I talk with Todd Patkin. Even with the $100 million sale of his business, a loving wife and a beautiful son, Todd spiralled into a depression, a breakdown and came very close to taking his own life. In his darkness, he discovered the keys to happiness, and we discuss them in this podcast.
My friend, you deserve to be happy. You are already good enough, just because you are alive. When you simply start with that belief, the feeling of peace and happiness will start to filter its way through your body. Then, with time, reflection, and perspective, you will come to realise, as I did, that no matter what is happening in your life, no matter what challenges you may be facing, and no matter what you have or haven’t done, happiness is already there for you.
by admin | 30 Apr, 2022 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
I was speaking to a friend this week. Rosemary is a wonderful lady I had lost touch with over the last few years, but who is a loyal reader and commenter on my blogs. As we were chatting, she said to me, Andrew, I can’t understand how you do it, but every week your blogs are spot on. It’s as if you know exactly what I need. Well, that was a marvelous compliment for sure and, just what a writer wants to hear. As I reflected on it after we finished speaking, I realised it is because I follow the same approach to my writing as Michelangelo did to his sculpting.
Back in the year 1501, artist Michelangelo was commissioned to create a sculpture of the biblical figure David. He was presented with a massive block of marble that stood well over 5 metres or 17 feet tall. Between August 1501 and September 1504 Michelangelo carved away and created the awe-inspiring Statue of David. If you have ever seen it in real life, you will know how amazingly detailed it is and what an incredible achievement it was in the 16th century. I stood speechless at its feet in 2018 for hours, mesmerised by its majesty.
When Michelangelo had finally completed this incredible statue, so dumbfounded were the people that the common question he got asked was, how did you do it? His answer has inspired me for many years and, as I mentioned, has totally transformed my approach to writing, and many other things that I do. When describing how he did it, he said, I saw the angel in the marble, and I carved until I set him free. I want you to read that again, if you don’t mind. Let it sink in because, if you can understand what happened for him and apply that same approach to your own life, as with Michelangelo’s statue, anything is possible.
I wrote a blog a couple of weeks ago, called Pass it up, and it is a similar theme. The message is, stop overthinking and just have faith that if you get started, with any vision or goal, and get into consistent action, the angel will appear. That angel for you may be improved health and wellbeing. That angel may be money in the bank and financial peace of mind. That angel may be a restored relationship with an important person in your life. That angel may be your book, your art, your business, or anything you are trying to carve right now.
The key is to close your eyes and visualise what you are trying to create, and then just start carving. The longer you put it off the greater the chance that it will never happen. Why? Because, as I have said many times, the most dangerous place you can stay, is in your head. You know, as I do, that you are your own biggest critic. You also know, as I do, that if you spoke to your friends like you speak to yourself, you would be a very lonely person. In your head you are bombarded by all your limiting beliefs, and critical self-talk. The greatest barrier to any achievement is over-thinking and negative self-talk. The only way to overcome that is to get out of your head and start carving.
In my book T.E.A.R.S. of Joy, I talk about the power of the vision to create a strong positive emotion. The key is to very quickly get out of your head, into your heart and then start carving, while you are feeling excited, determined, focused and empowered. If you go from your head to your heart and then back into your head, you will get stuck. Trust me on this one, just start carving. In my podcast this week called Betrayal to breakthrough with Dr. Debi Silber, she discusses the stages of transformation, and the best way to move through the stages is to just start carving, and have faith that the breakthrough will come.
I know for certain personality types this is a confronting way to approach life. If that is you, I want to encourage you to give it a go anyway. What have you got to lose? Look again at some photos of the Statue of David and be amazed at the incredible detail and life-likeness of this incredible sculpture. Then, all you must understand is that Michelangelo didn’t know, as he began, how he would do it. He knew the angel was in there, so he just wanted to set him free. The angel is in you, in whatever you are striving for right now, so just start carving and you will also set him or her free. Just start carving today.
by admin | 23 Apr, 2022 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
Oh my gosh! Is being a human a roller coaster ride or what? What other species on the planet can be pulled from pillar-to-post and experience the whole spectrum of emotions in just a few moments? We can go from excited to depressed in a heartbeat. We can go from hopeful to hopeless in a moment. We can go from determined to despair in a second. I think, for me anyway, the one greatest emotion we need to hold onto in chaotic times is love. When you do, embracing all the other emotions you experience is easier to do.
Every Friday, I do my ‘Law of…’ post on social media. The message each week is to highlight things that we all go through, to help people feel they are not alone, in fact, right on track with living their best life. Last Friday, I debated about whether I would post at all because I was going through the emotional wringer. I finally decided to do it in the interest of vulnerability and normalising emotion for people. So, I posted about the ‘Law of emotion’. This is what I wrote:
Wow, has today been a roller coaster or what? And it has only just begun. I know there will be more to come before this day is done. Since getting up this morning there has been hope, despair, determination, sadness, faith, heartbreak and mostly love. I have felt the whole spectrum of emotions.
The law of emotion states that how you feel is just right. All emotion is great, and all emotion helps us identify what is important in life. Embrace your emotion, don’t ever judge it, avoid it, or run from it. It is there, by God’s grace, to help you and me be the best human beings we can be.
Without mentioning any specifics, or people knowing what was going on, the amount of outreach, love and support I received, and still am, is mind-blowing. So, I wanted to share a little about my day on Friday and the emotions I went through. Please know, I am not doing this for sympathy. I want you to know that the range of emotions you will experience on any one day is normal, in fact, is to be embraced.
It all started on Thursday afternoon, whilst I was taking my beautiful 13-year-old Maltese-Shitzu, Joia, for a walk. As some background, earlier in the year, after taking her to the vet for a check-up, it was found that she has some liver issues. Nothing was diagnosed, but I have been conscious of that ever since, and very proactive about her health and wellbeing. On Thursday, I noticed for the first time a discharge from her lady parts. I panicked! Fortunately, I live 50m from a vet, so I picked her up, took her straight there, and luckily it wasn’t long before a vet could look at her. Within a few minutes, the vet looked at her, told me that she had an infection in her uterus, and it would need to be surgically removed. She then when on to say, that it could be done the next day.
You can imagine the shock and confused state I was in. A few minutes earlier, I was happily taking my dog for a walk, enjoying the sunshine, and now I am being told she needs an operation or will die. I left with her, took her home and then I went for a walk to clear my head. I was in tears, I was devastated, but I knew what I had to do. So, I went back and booked her in for surgery the next day. That night I prayed for her, I loved on her and I was hopeful that the surgery will solve her health issues. So, when I dropped her off on Friday morning, I was feeling optimistic. Well, that was short-lived.
About an hour after dropping her off, I got a call from the vet. She explained that, after a blood test, Joia’s liver markers were extremely high, meaning that she may not handle anaesthesia and that surgery would be a very risky option. Surgery was the only way to remove the infection and ensure it wouldn’t return, so this was bad news. My emotions spiralled from hope to helpless. She then outlined the options. The first was to operate, with a high chance she may not make it through. The second was a lengthy medical treatment process that would not guarantee long term results. The third option does not even bear repeating, nor was anything I could even comprehend. As she was talking, I could feel my heart tearing.
After more tears, deliberation, and discussions, I decided to go with option two, and she spent the day at the vet on a drip, getting injected, medicated, and treated. I spent the entire day running each possible scenario through my head, and with each scenario came a new emotion. It was exhausting. I picked her up on Friday afternoon, and have been loving her, praying for her, and looking after her ever since.
I don’t know what the outcome will be, but what I do know is, everything I did, and every emotion I experienced came out of the deep and unconditional love I have for this little dog. She has been with me and there for me during some of the toughest times in my life, and I owe her everything. I embrace the feelings. I love that I feel sadness, because it means I care. I love that my emotions spanned the spectrum of feelings, because it means this is important to me. I love being a human, even with all the heartache it can bring. I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I want to encourage you to embrace every emotion you experience, every day. Emotion means you are alive; it means you are passionate, and it means there are things and people in your life you love so deeply that they make you crazy! Better that, I believe, than to not love at all. In my podcast this week with Madii Himbury, called Fact or fiction, Madii talks about the challenges and the roller coaster of emotions she experienced in her aspirations to be a winter Olympian.
As you go about your day today, just know something will probably happen, out of the blue, that will cause a strong emotional response. Don’t ignore it, don’t run from it, and don’t try to hide it. Instead, embrace it, because it means you are a passionate and loving person who wants to be the best you can be. Embrace all emotion today.
by admin | 16 Apr, 2022 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
You can’t do it on your own. Okay, that was a seemingly negative and controversial start to this week’s blog. Think about it everything you have accomplished in your life, and whether you did it completely on your own, or you had the support of other people, in some way, throughout the process. It would surprise me if anyone said they made it all on their own. Why is it then, even though we inherently know we will need other people, we still beat ourselves up and expect that we need to do it alone? I learned a very valuable lesson recently. That is, no matter what I am worrying about or aspiring to, it will be okay if I simply pass it up.
So, what does that mean? I will get to it, don’t worry. As you may be aware, over the last few years I have developed a strong Christian faith. That doesn’t mean I am religious, it means that I have faith that, because Jesus died on a cross and was resurrected, I am forgiven of my sins and free from internal conflict. I also believe that God wants me to be happy and successful, and that I am divinely guided in my life. Whilst I do believe this, I am still a flawed human, who at times doubts and worries whether I am good enough to do, have, or become what I desire in my time on earth.
I am grateful for a very special friend and mentor in my life who continually reminds me that it’s not about me. Throughout my life, from a young age, I have worked, worried, overworked, sacrificed, and slaved to try and get ahead in the world, only to find myself exhausted with not much more than I had before I started each insane campaign. Even today, whilst I love my life, I am still battling with this voice in my head that says, Andrew, it is all about you and what you do, so keep working. As I sat down with my mentor recently, she reminded me that I am not alone. Firstly, she explained again that she was here for me. Secondly, she reinforced that God was on my side and has far more power to help me than I have to do it by myself, if I just pass it up to him.
For non-believers I understand this is hard to get your head around, but I am sure you believe in the universe, the law of attraction or have some other faith platform. So, based on her advice and prayers for me, I have since started to simply pass up my worries, fears, and aspirations to God. The first thing I noticed was how much lighter, peaceful, and free I felt. The second thing I noticed was… wow! Things started coming to me, far more quickly and easily than before when I was trying to control every situation and outcome. Speaking opportunities and new clients started coming my way in abundance, and things started happening with far less effort and stress on my part.
Even the opportunity I missed, and spoke about in last week’s blog, Learn the hard lessons, just came out of the blue because I had let go of the need to be in control of everything. Now, don’t get me wrong, you can’t sit on your couch and just hand your dreams and desires to God or the universe and expect abundance to come to you. However, when you act with intention and consistency, and then pass it up, great things will happen. They just keep happening to me right now, so I am going to simply keep passing all my desires up to God.
I get that this may be challenging for some people, but I would ask you, if you are a sceptic, to have an open mind, and just give it a go. What do you have to lose? It just requires a change of perspective and the trust and understanding that we are not alone, nor are we expected to do it all ourselves. In my podcast this week, called Success is an inside job, with Michael Alcée, we discuss the power of trusting ourselves, our emotions and our creativity and just expecting great things will come.
It is my greatest desire that you get what I am saying this week and understand the power that is all around you. Your life is no accident, you are not here to be stressed, confused, deprived, or overwhelmed. You are here to have an impact and to live an abundant life. Trust me when I say, that is a done deal if you are willing to follow your heart, do the work and just pass it up to God, the universe, or to your faith that all of the answers you want and the results you desire will be delivered to you. I urge you to pass it up this week.
by admin | 9 Apr, 2022 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
When I finally left school, I was happy because, at the tender age of 18-years-old, I thought my days of learning were done, and that I knew everything I needed to know. If you are a parent of a teenager, you will understand what I am talking about. They think they know it all! I certainly did. What I didn’t realise at the time, was that my education was only just beginning and would continue every day I am upright and looking down on the grass. Some are fun lessons, some are annoying lessons, and many are hard lessons, but all need to be learned.
The first hard lesson I learned, just as I had left school thinking my education was over, came on a football field as I played my first senior level game of professional football. The game started with high hopes and finished with me in a hospital bed after being knocked unconscious, carried off on a stretcher, and taken to hospital in an ambulance. As I lay there with a bashed in head, feeling sorry for myself and my parents begging me to give up the dangerous sport I had chosen, I realised I had a choice to make. Do I give up because it’s dangerous, or get up because in the pursuit of any dream, there is a chance of getting knocked down in some way? I chose to get up, and let me tell you that was the best choice I could have made as it has positively impacted every area of my life since. It was a hard but critical lesson I needed to learn.
That was about forty years ago, and this week just gone by, I learned another hard lesson. I had got myself into the habit of not answering phone calls if I didn’t recognise the number. If I am being honest, it’s because I didn’t want to have to deal with sales calls or other uncomfortable situations. My position and justification have been always, if it is important, they will leave a message. So, many calls happen every day that I would ignore and choose not to answer, never knowing what they were about or where they may have led. Big mistake! I would wait for the message to come through, and if it didn’t, I would just simply forget about it.
On Tuesday I had a call come through, and it was a mobile number I didn’t recognise so I left it. No message came through, and I simply forgot about it. Two hours later the same number called. I assumed it must be a sales call, so again, I left it. No message came through, and I forgot about it. On Wednesday, I looked at my phone and noticed a message I hadn’t seen before, so I listened, and as I did my heart sank! It was a message left by the person who rang twice on Tuesday, but for some reason the message hadn’t come through, or I hadn’t seen it until Wednesday. The message was from the representative of an organisation looking for a speaker, on short notice, for an off-site meeting happening on Wednesday, the actual day I was listening to the message.
I immediately felt sick in my stomach as I had missed a paid speaking opportunity because of my reluctance to answer phone calls. I beat myself up for a few minutes, I had a tantrum and pity party and then I asked myself the question, what is the lesson here? The answer came straight back at me, Andrew, you need to answer every single call that comes and return every single call you miss, even if you don’t recognise the number, because you don’t know what amazing opportunity may come from it. For a few seconds I stopped to think about the thousands of calls I had missed and how many of them may have been incredible opportunities if I just had the courage to answer the call. I stopped that thought trail pretty quickly because it was futile and would just depress me.
I have vowed that I will answer every call no matter what. If it is a sales call, I will simply say no. If it seems a little dodgy, I will just hang up. If it is an opportunity, I will jump on it. I am now excited every time the phone rings because I am expecting something great to come from it. It was a hard but incredibly valuable lesson to learn.
John Maher, my guest on this week’s podcast called, One more cuddle, learned the hardest lesson there is. Twenty-six years ago, he lost his 18-year-old daughter in a car crash when she fell asleep at the wheel. Since that time, with a broken heart he will carry for the rest of his life, he speaks in schools and to companies about the devastatingly hard lesson he learned to help people avoid the same tragedy. He is an inspiring man, who has just published his first book, and is impacting lives all around the world.
As you move through your day, and do what you need to do, hard lessons are going to come your way. They may seem horrible, even heartbreaking, but they can be the greatest blessing in your life. All you need to do is take the time to understand what happened, learn the lesson, and use it to enhance your life and the lives of others. Learn the hard lesson today.
by admin | 2 Apr, 2022 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
I believe we live in a world that is incredible. It is a world where people are wonderful, opportunities are plentiful, and anything is possible. I also believe, for the most part, we have been misled and mis-informed about what is a successful life, and what it really takes to live that life. We have been sold the idea that success is more about education, money, status, looks and achievement than it is about joy, love, and fulfilment. We have also been sold the mindset that any achievement takes talent, intellect, money, pain, and sacrifice. Well, I am here to sell you a different idea. The concept of… just one more!
I want to share just two personal and very simple examples to explain what I mean. Both affect my health and wellbeing; one is my daily step count and the other my crazy muscle-up obsession. I used to struggle to do 10,000 steps per day. In my mind, it was about as good as I could get, based on my daily activities. Don’t get me wrong, I think 10,000 steps are amazing, however, I got to the point when I decided to up my game. Fast forward to today where I am consistently doing 20,000 steps per day with seemingly no more effort than it took to do 10,000. How? Simple, just one more.
I never really set the goal to do 20,000. To me it was not achievable, however, I set the goal of just one more 1000 steps per week. That is just an extra 140 steps per day, nothing! Over time and with the ‘just one more’ attitude, I started to do more, believe more and now I comfortably do at least 20,000 steps every day. What’s the difference between 10,000 steps and 20,000 steps per day? Well, it’s not 10,000, that’s for sure. It is 70,000 steps per week, 3,640,000 steps per year, which equates to over 3000km (or 1900 miles) per year. That is the power of just one more.
I have spoken about muscle-up Saturday before. When I started, I couldn’t do much more than 50 in a session. This morning, I did 251. I have followed the principle of ‘just one more’. Each week, I added just one more set of 5, and it’s taken a couple of years to get to this place. Even this morning, when I started, I was overwhelmed by the thought of 251, but I knew I could do just one more. So, one muscle-up at a time, I achieved the target. Let me tell you, the benefit has been much more than the physical outcome and the blisters I have on my hands (which I wear as a badge of honour!). The greatest benefit is the power of the mindset that I have developed, and the understanding that anything I want, anything important and anything great is possible, if I follow the approach of ‘just one more.’
In my podcast this week called Play a bigger game with Kate Strong, she talks about many inspiring things. One of the many achievements she has enjoyed is being a world champion triathlete. When she started, she struggled to run half a mile. In two years, she was a world champion. Do you want to know how it happened? She simply followed the approach of ‘just one more.’ Just one more run, just one more kilometre, just one more stroke, just one more pedal, just one more hour and just one more day. With this simple and consistent process, she did what many would believe impossible. Anything is possible if you do just one more.
Where are you at right now? What are you doing, and where are you heading? Important questions to ask, for sure. Do you understand how dramatically your life could change if you were able to add just one more? One more what? One more of anything that will move you closer to your best life. What about just one more hug for the people you love? Can you imagine the impact that would have over one year if you just hugged the person you love one more time each day? How about one more phone call to meet someone, sell your business or set up an appointment? That would be an extra 360ish calls per year. Can you imagine what results that would bring? One more snack, one more step, one more word, one more message, one more dollar into savings or one more of anything that will help you. The power is not in ‘the one more’, the power is in the compounding effect of the commitment to ‘just one more’ each day. You can do that, can’t you?
I was excited to be asked to be on a national morning TV show recently to talk about my new book T.E.A.R.S. of Joy. It didn’t happen because I am an author. It didn’t happen because I played professional sport. It didn’t happen because I am talented, intelligent, lucky or know the right people. It happened because of ‘just one more’. I had sent out many emails to media people, and I decided on a particular day to send out ‘just one more’. Here is the email I received after this ‘just one more’:
“Your other emails must have either been stopped by the email gatekeeper or totally missed. My apologies. What a terrific story of transformation and turning things around. Probably a story of hope that a few hundred thousand people could do with right now.”
What are you missing every day because you are not living the ‘just one more’ life? Can I encourage you today, and every day that you are privileged to be upright and looking down on the grass, no matter how much you have already done, to just add one more! I look forward to hearing the stories that will come from this approach to life.
