Oh my gosh! Is being a human a roller coaster ride or what? What other species on the planet can be pulled from pillar-to-post and experience the whole spectrum of emotions in just a few moments? We can go from excited to depressed in a heartbeat. We can go from hopeful to hopeless in a moment. We can go from determined to despair in a second. I think, for me anyway, the one greatest emotion we need to hold onto in chaotic times is love. When you do, embracing all the other emotions you experience is easier to do.
Every Friday, I do my ‘Law of…’ post on social media. The message each week is to highlight things that we all go through, to help people feel they are not alone, in fact, right on track with living their best life. Last Friday, I debated about whether I would post at all because I was going through the emotional wringer. I finally decided to do it in the interest of vulnerability and normalising emotion for people. So, I posted about the ‘Law of emotion’. This is what I wrote:
Wow, has today been a roller coaster or what? And it has only just begun. I know there will be more to come before this day is done. Since getting up this morning there has been hope, despair, determination, sadness, faith, heartbreak and mostly love. I have felt the whole spectrum of emotions.
The law of emotion states that how you feel is just right. All emotion is great, and all emotion helps us identify what is important in life. Embrace your emotion, don’t ever judge it, avoid it, or run from it. It is there, by God’s grace, to help you and me be the best human beings we can be.
Without mentioning any specifics, or people knowing what was going on, the amount of outreach, love and support I received, and still am, is mind-blowing. So, I wanted to share a little about my day on Friday and the emotions I went through. Please know, I am not doing this for sympathy. I want you to know that the range of emotions you will experience on any one day is normal, in fact, is to be embraced.
It all started on Thursday afternoon, whilst I was taking my beautiful 13-year-old Maltese-Shitzu, Joia, for a walk. As some background, earlier in the year, after taking her to the vet for a check-up, it was found that she has some liver issues. Nothing was diagnosed, but I have been conscious of that ever since, and very proactive about her health and wellbeing. On Thursday, I noticed for the first time a discharge from her lady parts. I panicked! Fortunately, I live 50m from a vet, so I picked her up, took her straight there, and luckily it wasn’t long before a vet could look at her. Within a few minutes, the vet looked at her, told me that she had an infection in her uterus, and it would need to be surgically removed. She then when on to say, that it could be done the next day.
You can imagine the shock and confused state I was in. A few minutes earlier, I was happily taking my dog for a walk, enjoying the sunshine, and now I am being told she needs an operation or will die. I left with her, took her home and then I went for a walk to clear my head. I was in tears, I was devastated, but I knew what I had to do. So, I went back and booked her in for surgery the next day. That night I prayed for her, I loved on her and I was hopeful that the surgery will solve her health issues. So, when I dropped her off on Friday morning, I was feeling optimistic. Well, that was short-lived.
About an hour after dropping her off, I got a call from the vet. She explained that, after a blood test, Joia’s liver markers were extremely high, meaning that she may not handle anaesthesia and that surgery would be a very risky option. Surgery was the only way to remove the infection and ensure it wouldn’t return, so this was bad news. My emotions spiralled from hope to helpless. She then outlined the options. The first was to operate, with a high chance she may not make it through. The second was a lengthy medical treatment process that would not guarantee long term results. The third option does not even bear repeating, nor was anything I could even comprehend. As she was talking, I could feel my heart tearing.
After more tears, deliberation, and discussions, I decided to go with option two, and she spent the day at the vet on a drip, getting injected, medicated, and treated. I spent the entire day running each possible scenario through my head, and with each scenario came a new emotion. It was exhausting. I picked her up on Friday afternoon, and have been loving her, praying for her, and looking after her ever since.
I don’t know what the outcome will be, but what I do know is, everything I did, and every emotion I experienced came out of the deep and unconditional love I have for this little dog. She has been with me and there for me during some of the toughest times in my life, and I owe her everything. I embrace the feelings. I love that I feel sadness, because it means I care. I love that my emotions spanned the spectrum of feelings, because it means this is important to me. I love being a human, even with all the heartache it can bring. I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I want to encourage you to embrace every emotion you experience, every day. Emotion means you are alive; it means you are passionate, and it means there are things and people in your life you love so deeply that they make you crazy! Better that, I believe, than to not love at all. In my podcast this week with Madii Himbury, called Fact or fiction, Madii talks about the challenges and the roller coaster of emotions she experienced in her aspirations to be a winter Olympian.
As you go about your day today, just know something will probably happen, out of the blue, that will cause a strong emotional response. Don’t ignore it, don’t run from it, and don’t try to hide it. Instead, embrace it, because it means you are a passionate and loving person who wants to be the best you can be. Embrace all emotion today.