by admin | 18 Jun, 2022 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
Fear is a lot of things to a lot of people. For some people it is enough to stop them in their tracks from taking a step into the unknown. For others, it is doubt and uncertainty about whether they can achieve what they really want in life. For many it is the anticipation of what other people will think and say about them. Whatever fear maybe for you, for all people it is one thing. Fear is, for everyone, potential knocking at the door. The question is, are you going to open the door and let it in?
I have to admit it up front, I cannot take credit for this amazing and empowering quote. It came out of the mouth of this week’s podcast guest, Demelza Fellowes, in our podcast called Say yes with intention. What an amazing lady! It was a random decision to face her fear of attending netball trials as a teenager, when she hadn’t played the sport for years, that led her, just 18 short months later, to selection in the Australian Diamonds Squad. She went on to play high level netball and represent her country for many years. Wow! That fear she experienced was incredible potential knocking at the door. She opened the door, let it in and achieved something that seems remarkable, but it was her just fulfilling the potential already there. This is an inspiring and empowering podcast I want to encourage you to listen to.
I remember the day clearly. It was soon after I had published my first book, and I was desperate to get out of significant debt and retire from personal training so that I could pursue my dream of being a full-time author, speaker, and mentor. I had just started a side business to create an income that could help me to more quickly be in the financial position to leave my personal training career behind and have the time and money I needed to be able to do what I wanted. A major part of business expansion was contacting prospective partners and sharing the idea with them. I had my list of quality people I knew I would love to partner with, and all I had to do was call them to set up a business appointment.
I cannot tell you how long I sat there, with my phone in my hand, looking at that list, gripped with debilitating dread. What would they say? How would they respond? What would they think of me? What if they said no? What if I stuff it up? What if I forget my lines? These were just some of the fear-based questions that were stampeding through my mind. Just then, as I was about to give in to my fear, I thought about the movie, We bought a zoo. I remembered the scene where Benjamin Mee said to his teenage son, Sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just twenty seconds of embarrassing bravery and, trust me, something great will always come from it.
With that in mind, it took less than twenty seconds to pick up my phone, dial the first number and connect with the first person on my list. The conversation went well. I scheduled the appointment and I realised that my fear was totally mis-directed, and that I would allow the potential I had in my hands, that was knocking at the door, to come in. That phone call was the beginning of something great. Two years later, as a result of that business, I was out of debt and retired from personal training. Since 2006, I have been able to devote my energy full time to my absolute passion, purpose, and potential. It could have been very different, however, if I had succumbed to the terror that was racking my body that day.
You have incredible potential, and I hope you know it. The challenge is that, by definition, potential is: Capable of being but not yet in existence; latent or undeveloped. That means, it is outside of your familiar or comfort zone and chances are there is fear about your capability of releasing that potential. The question I have for you is this: would you rather live with a failed attempt at something or the regret of never giving it a go because you were scared? If you succumb to the fear, the potential will never be released or realised. If you open the door to let potential in, there is a chance you will not achieve it, make a mistake, look silly and then deal with other people’s opinions. But what if it is realised? What if that incredible potential you hold inside of you, that is knocking at the door, is released and you create the amazing things in your life you have always wanted?
Please don’t allow fear to rule your life and your choices. When you feel it, just know in your heart that it is incredible potential for something great in your life, just knocking at the door. Have the courage to open the door and let it in.
by admin | 11 Jun, 2022 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
The fact that we are alive on this planet is a gift, a privilege and, in my mind, an absolute miracle. I have spoken before about the uncalculatable odds of our existence, so I won’t bore you with that again. We have been gifted this fantastic body to get through life in. So yes, it needs to be respected, nurtured, and looked after, for sure. Unfortunately, how it looks is an issue for many people, and something we tend to place a lot of emphasis on, and judge on a far too regular basis. Let me tell you, as essential as your body is, it is not the real you.
I know firsthand what a painful and unfulfilling pursuit, the desire for the perfect body can be, if it is not coupled with a deep love for the person underneath the skin, the muscles, and the stuff. I also know it has nothing to do with true happiness, self-love, or identity. It is just an outer layer we far too often use to cover up the real person underneath. In my headlong pursuit of body-beautiful, I was never happy no matter how good I looked, because the real me underneath was being forgotten about. At the time I was insecure, I was lacking true self-love and my whole identity and value revolved around how good I looked, how hard I worked and what I achieved.
Recognition, attention, and admiration from others was my sole source of self-esteem building, so I chased it, and I chased it hard. I chased it in and out of far too many relationships, including three marriages to three wonderful ladies. They could never live up to the expectation I had for them and what I needed them to do to help me feel good about myself. It was never their job to make me feel good about me, that was, is and will always be my job. As it is and will always be for you. My last marriage ended, and, thanks to a global pandemic, I was forced to spend time alone with the person I least liked, me. At that time, it was the hardest, but best thing I could have ever experienced. During that time, I changed my view on who I was, and I discovered the real me.
The real me is not a body. The real me is not a six-pack or buns of steel. The real me is not the athlete. The real me is not the public speaker. The real me is not the author or a podcaster. The real me lies deep underneath all that external stuff. The real me is a spirit. The real me is passion, emotion, and purpose. The real me is love and compassion. The real me is significance and impact on the lives of others. The real me is understanding, acceptance and forgiveness of myself and others. The real me is only on this planet for a short time, but whose legacy and impact will live on long after I am gone. The real me is someone I love with all my heart and soul.
You see, the real me is a spirit and the real you is a spirit. That is our essence and our identity. Without this spirit to fill us and move us joyfully through each day of our life, we would just be a pile of muscles, bones, organs, and junk on the ground. It is the real you, deep under the surface, that gives your body shape, meaning and purpose to live the best life you can with the time you are on this planet. Your job is simple. It is to dig deep and discover the real you. Not the you looking back at you in the mirror, the one you constantly judge and criticise. The real you. The spirit of you. The essence of you. You are amazing, just as you are. You just need to take the time to get to know and love the real you.
I want to urge you to listen to my podcast this week called, Seeing yourself, with Cliona Byrne. Cliona is now a body confidence coach, but spent many years of her life hating herself, her body, and her look. She used to stand in front of the mirror, suck in her tummy, and emotionally beat herself up for how she looked. Her bitchy inner critic (as she calls it) used to love to tell her that she needed to lose weight. She said, “I’ve since slapped the microphone out of that bitch’s hand.”
The real you is amazing. The real you cares about people. The real you wants to have an impact on other people’s lives. The real you is fun, happy, and joyful. The real you is love and compassion. The real you has incredible potential and capacity. The real you is all you need. The real you is good enough. The real you is just waiting to see the light of day. So, please, take the time today to look beyond the surface and see the real and incredible you that is there.
by admin | 4 Jun, 2022 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
I posted my regular weekly ‘Law of’ post on social media last week. Each week, I look at something I have learned, and I think about a law I would like to adhere to in my life. Last week was the law of loss. As I thought about the many things I have lost in my lifetime, there is one thing in common with all of them. At one point, I had them in my life. Whether you have experienced loss of an item, loss of a job or money, loss of a relationship or loss of a loved one, at one stage you had them in your life. So, the law of loss, in my mind states, you can’t lose something you didn’t have for a season in your life. That is something to celebrate and be incredibly grateful for.
Soon after I posted this law on my social media platforms, this message came through:
Perfect timing, Andrew. My father’s funeral is in mere hours, and it breaks my heart to only be there virtually. But you are so right to remember to celebrate and be grateful for that season in my life.
My heart goes out to this person, who is a great friend of mine, for this heart-breaking loss. I am also grateful that I have been able to highlight the joy that lies in the beautiful time that will be a lasting and loving memory. For me, I would not have the heartache every time I think of my mother, who passed away in 2004, if I didn’t love her and the time I spent with her when she was alive. So, whilst she is gone, that unconditional love, and those memories will go with me forever. As a result, I am changing my narrative from what I lost to what I had. I hope you will do the same.
When I was 23 years old, I read in the newspaper that I had been sacked from the St Kilda Football Club. I thought I had lost a career, but in fact, what I actually had was seven years of incredible achievement, lessons, and memories that I will have forever, and has shaped my life in many ways. Many years ago, I spent a lot of money on a part share of a racehorse, and eventually lost all that money, and more. On reflection, what I had was a period of excitement and fun as that horse competed in many races, and even won a couple of them. I am grateful for that time.
I have spoken about my experience as a café owner, and after two years of business being in close to $100,000 debt. At the time I believed I had lost money, time, energy, and hope. Looking back what I had was the experiences and platform that set me up to be doing what I am doing and loving my life now. Back in my early days as an author, I made the rookie mistake of not backing up the manuscript of the book I was writing. My computer crashed, and it was gone. I was devastated as I thought I had lost it. In fact, what I had was the opportunity to write it better than before. So, I did.
When it comes to relationships, it would be very easy for me to dissolve into a sobbing mess on the floor as I reflect on my past. Many relationships, many thoughtless words and actions, many poor choices and lots of regret. However, with my new and improved narrative, I can let go of all that I have lost and focus on the wonderful joy and memories I had with each and every one of those wonderful ladies, starting with my very first kiss at the age of 9 with Suzy in the bushes that surrounded the oval at my primary school. When I think about what I had, I smile.
In my podcast this week called The miracle question, with Dr Matt Zakreski, we discuss the unique wonder and strengths that every person has. It is so easy to think about and focus on what we don’t have, but it is what we do have and what we use that will help us live our best life possible. It is a podcast I encourage you to listen to.
You see, life happens to all of us. We all have people, and things that come into our life and many of them leave again. It is important to realise that you haven’t lost anything if you focus on what you had. Every joyful moment, every learning experience, every interaction, every opportunity, and every memory you have is yours forever. You can never lose it. So, this week I want to encourage you to forget about what you have lost and instead focus on what you had.
by admin | 28 May, 2022 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
I never used to worry too much about what I would do or say, because in my own self-absorbed mind, I didn’t give any attention to or thought about who may be watching or listening, nor the impact it may have on their life. As you go through life and bump into people you may have known and not seen for a while, are you ever amazed about what they say about you and how you influenced their life? Make sure you ask next time you see someone who fits that profile. You may be amazed as to what you hear. The reality is that everything you say and do will impact others, and, at any time, you never know who is watching you.
I had a random and joyful experience earlier this week. Last Sunday, I was very grateful to have the opportunity to appear on Weekend Sunrise, a national Australian breakfast show. During the short four-minute segment, I shared about the positive power of controlled and scheduled tantrums to help release pent up emotion, feel better, and gain clarity to make more considered decisions when faced with challenging situations. After the segment, I wasn’t sure how effective I had been in communicating my message as it was very rushed, and I was distracted by lots of background noise.
On Monday morning, as usual, I was up at about 5:30am and off to do my training. I live near a shopping centre with a large set of outdoor stairs which I enjoy running up and down and doing step ups on. So, I was doing my normal training routine, and at about 6am I was just up one flight and doing step ups on the bottom step of the second flight. At that moment, a man walked past on the ground below.
Now, keep in mind, it was still dark, I looked very dishevelled, and I was one flight up, when this man stopped, looked up at me and encouraged me. He had a long unruly beard, was wearing a hoodie and I couldn’t quite decide if he was a homeless man or not. I thanked him for his encouragement and started to walk away. Just then he stopped, looked back at me, and asked, hey, were you on television yesterday? Aren’t you the tantrum guy? How he possibly recognised me at that time of the day, in the dark, from that distance and with me looking a mess, I had no idea.
I said, yes, I am. He went on to say, I enjoyed what you said, and it really impacted me. It gave me hope that, when you are down, you can get back up again. Thanks. With that, he turned and walked away, as I yelled thanks to him. As he left, I smiled to myself, felt a warm glow in my heart and found an extra spark in my step as I finished my training session and headed home. It was amazing to me, even though I was on TV, I could have that kind of profound impact on that man. It just reinforced to me that you never know who is watching.
You don’t have to be on TV to have that kind of impact on people’s lives. In fact, because of that glorious experience, I have found myself smiling more this week. I have smiled at people more, I have helped people more, and I have encouraged people more. I have found more meaning in the things I do and say, because I know for a fact that people are watching and being impacted by my words and actions, no matter where I am. The same is true for you.
So, what is the point? The point is that you are powerful, and you are a wonderful force for good. Yes, you! It is the humblest person who has no idea who is watching, and is just getting on with their day, who is having the most wonderful impact on the life of people they have no idea are watching. You are changing lives every single day, whether you know it, believe it or not. Every time you smile, someone sees it or feels it. Every word you speak someone hears it and is affected by it. Every action you take someone sees it and is inspired by it.
In my podcast this week with Leanne Spencer called Slivers of recovery, Leanne tells the story of her first day of an incredibly demanding three-day skiing event. She said she was on the verge of giving up, when in the distance, as she approached the finish line on the first day, she saw a lady with arms outstretched facing straight at her. She said she skied straight into those arms and received the most amazing hug from this generous person. The result of that simple hug gave Leanne the impetus to keep going and finish the event.
I talk a lot about the ripple effect. You may not feel like you are making a difference in people’s lives, but trust me you are. You don’t need to be on TV, you don’t need to be high profile and you don’t need any special ability. You just need to spend every day being the very best version of yourself you can be and know and trust that someone is always watching. You just may never know who that is and how you have affected their life, but you have.
by admin | 21 May, 2022 | Andrew's Blog, Any Category, Mindset
There is one resource we have no control over. You know what it is, don’t you? Have you ever asked; where has the time gone? Have you ever said; I can’t believe another year has passed? Have you ever declared; it seems like it was yesterday? We all have. No matter what we say, how much we lament, or what we wish, we cannot change the fact that time just keeps marching on. What we can do is be proud of what we have done, and then make the most of the moment we have.
I am very grateful to have another opportunity to appear on Weekend Sunrise, an Australian breakfast television program, this weekend. By the time you are reading this, it may well have happened. The producer of the show asked me for some footage of my professional footballing days to use in the introduction of the segment. Well, that has sent me off on a journey of fossicking, exploring, memories, reminiscing, and pleasant surprises. Why do I say surprises? Because, as I watched some of the video footage, I realised I was better than I had always thought I was.
I have been watching video footage from the mid 1980’s. Yes, that is getting towards 40 years ago, as I am writing this blog. For much of that time, my memories of myself as a footballer were less than impressive, to me anyway. The words and phrases I have previously used to describe myself as an athlete, included battler, lacking-ability, skinny, ill-equipped and several other less than complimentary expressions. The picture of myself was that I was never as good as the other players and that, if it wasn’t for persistence, effort, and naivety, I never would have made it.
Don’t get me wrong, I still believe persistence, effort, and naivety were a large part of the reason for my seven years of professional sport. However, I now realise that I had more ability than I believed, and I even impress myself as I re-watch some of the games I played in many decades ago. The older I am getting, the better I believe I was. It is a shame it has taken me almost forty years to realise the fact that I was good enough, I am good enough, and I will always be good enough.
The message is, you don’t have to wait until you get older to realise how good you are now. You are amazing, you were amazing, and you will always be amazing! The one thing I know about pretty much every human being on the planet is that we are our harshest critics by far. Not only that, but we are also ridiculously harsh and often unfair in the conclusions we draw about ourselves. We seem only to think about the mistakes, failures, and imperfections from our past, what we should be doing better in the present, and how we are not enough to achieve what we want in the future. I hope, for your sake, you are ready to stop that rubbish today.
If you were to evaluate your life honestly and objectively, to this point, I know you would find many things that you have done much better than you may have previously thought. If you can get to that place, then you will realise that what you are doing now is also impressive. Then, the magic starts to happen, because with pride in your previous performances, more belief in your ability now, the future for you, my friend, is looking very bright. Just don’t wait till you get older to discover how amazing you truly are.
In my podcast this week with Jonathan McLernon called Compassionate awareness, I was totally inspired by a man who has made this realisation about himself. His past is littered with trauma, from an attempted murder on his life, losing all his money in a failed business venture, and being 100 lbs or 45 kg overweight. He learned to love himself and recognise how amazing he was, he is, and he will be. It is an incredible podcast which I encourage you to listen to.
As I am writing this blog, I am 57 years old. My professional football career started when I was 16. That was a long time ago and getting longer with each day that passes. I can’t go back and change anything, but what I can do is identify the truth. The truth is that I was good enough then, I am good enough now and I will always be good enough. It is my greatest desire that you will not wait many decades into the future to recognise how good you are now. You are already amazing, and when you believe that, the great news is that the older you get, the ‘even’ better you will become.
by admin | 14 May, 2022 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
We live in a very visual world. We live in a world that largely defines beauty as having a flawless physical appearance. In fact, the Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines ‘beautiful’ as: having qualities of beauty: exciting aesthetic pleasure. Then to define the word ‘aesthetic’ it says: pleasing in appearance. So, it is understandable to see why so many people judge their beauty based on their physical traits. I would like to make a statement, maybe not even knowing you. You are already beautiful… just the way you are.
To me it is tragic that so many people look in the mirror and see something very different to what most other people see. We are all victim to this in some degree. When I look in the mirror, the first things I see are: the bags under my eyes, wrinkles, thinning hair, and blemishes. It takes deliberate focus to see beauty. The beauty that I see in myself starts well under the surface, and the more I think about the person I am and the person I am still becoming, it is easier for me to look beyond the surface stuff to truly see exciting aesthetic pleasure.
Like most people, I enjoy some time looking at social media. Not a lot, but some. There are so many inspiring messages coming through, that it makes it worth it for me to invest a small amount of time scrolling. However, what disturbs me the most are the people who feel that they are not beautiful enough just as they are and put on masks of filters, airbrushing and enhancements. They believe they are making themselves more aesthetically pleasing, but they don’t understand what true beauty really is. Beauty starts inside all of us and emanates out through every pore. Beauty is an attitude. Beauty is a feeling. Beauty is for everyone. Beauty is for you.
This was powerfully reinforced for me this week in my podcast conversation with Rhianne Miller called Choose you. Rhianne, in her early 30’s, was diagnosed with breast cancer, which led her to a single mastectomy, a failed breast reconstruction and now she is living with one breast. She talked about how she felt about that, and how it impacted her feelings of her own beauty. Initially, she covered it up, wore padding and pretended that she had two normal breasts. But then she realised she was beautiful just as she was, and didn’t need to pretend to be something she was not to fit into the societal perception of beauty.
She is now very public about living with one breast, she is proud of the person she is becoming, and she knows she is beautiful just as she is, despite all of her flaws and imperfections. She has a passion for life that is addictive and that explodes through the speakers as you listen to her talk on this podcast. She is beautiful in every respect, and that beauty starts on the inside and then floods out of every pore. She even explained how people started to describe her after this shift. She said people would say, you have an incredible energy, or, you have beautiful eyes. They noticed the things that poured out of her as a result of her core being and the beliefs about herself.
You know what I am talking about here, don’t you? We meet people all the time and we can see their beauty based on their approach and attitude towards themselves and their life. I have met people who, if you were judging them on the Merriam-Webster definition of attractiveness, you would say they would not rate high on the scale, yet they emanate incredible beauty. I also meet people who do everything they can to be physically beautiful and accepted, yet are lacking that inner self-love and zest for life. It has a powerful effect on their physical appearance.
My point is this. You are beautiful just the way you are with all of your wrinkles, blemishes and imperfections. You don’t need to filter, enhance, or cover up the real you. You just need to look inside at the person you are. The values you hold dear, the purpose for your being, the heart you have for others, the excitement of the possibilities and opportunities that are there ready and waiting for you, and the love you have for yourself. When you focus on these things, you will start to believe that you are already beautiful, and that beauty will then start to flow out of you through every pore. Please believe me when I say, you are beautiful.
