by admin | 8 Apr, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
I have a simple question for you this week as you think about what you want more of in your life and the person you’d like to become. It’s a key question, yet one I see applied to the wrong things by many people most of the time. You see, we are all motivated into action, or inaction as the case may be, by one of two things. We are driven by either pleasing methods or pleasing results. Which one you choose will be dependent on your honest answer to the question, what is for you?
Have you ever said about anything, that’s not for me, or that’s not my cup of tea? The next time you catch yourself saying it, I want to encourage you to stop and think about what you may have just eliminated as a possibility for your life. The reality is that for most of us, chasing pleasing methods is the preference we make instead of doing what is required to attain pleasing results. Why? Because, as humans we want to be comfortable and find the quickest and easiest way to be healthy, rich, energised, and happy.
If this wasn’t the case, there wouldn’t be the astounding number of diets, tablets, gambling alternatives, and easy-quick-fix options available. As you will know, if you have tried any of these, as I have, they will never lead to lasting results or fulfilment, just frustration and an empty bank account. So again, I have to ask the question, what is for you?
As a personal trainer, I would encourage clients to do things whilst at training, and in-between. Things like eating breakfast, going for a run, doing some stretching, climbing stairs, and the like. If I had a dollar for every time someone said to me, breakfast is not for me, or, climbing stairs is not my cup of tea, I would be a wealthy man. As an author coach, if I got one mile of travel for every time I was told that, writing each day is not for me, or, making networking/sales calls is not my cup of tea, I would have travelled around the world. In my networking business where I help people create an additional income stream, if I grew an inch every time I was told, it was not for me, or not my cup of tea, I would be able to touch the moon!
The reality is, the reason we say, it’s not for me, or it’s not my cup of tea, is because it’s uncomfortable, scary, or will take work. All of which are totally against our human nature to want comfort. Hence, most people fall into the ‘pleasing methods’ category and then never achieve the ‘pleasing results’ they want. Let me tell you how I negotiate this tendency, because like you, I am very much drawn to comfort. Instead of saying exercise is not for me, I say, being lean, fit, and healthy is definitely for me. Instead of saying making uncomfortable calls is not for me, I say, financial strength, and having the options to live my best life is absolutely for me. Instead of saying, writing is not my cup of tea today, I say, being a best-selling author and inspiring people all around the world is one hundred percent my cup of tea.
Again, I ask you as you are facing things that may not be fun, will definitely be uncomfortable and may cause fear, what is for you, and, what is your cup of tea? I had the most amazing conversation with Dr Liz Wilson on my podcast this week called, Tattoo power. After going through a significant tragedy in her life, it would have been very easy to use the it’s not for me excuse. Instead, she has used her tragedy to fuel her purpose. This is an inspiring conversation I urge you to listen to.
I know you want pleasing results in your life. However, you will never experience them using only pleasing methods. There are times when you have to flip the paradigm of what is and what is not for you. Whilst the method may not be your cup of tea, you need to ponder on the more important question, is the result for me? I am a little weird, as I have always been motivated to do what many people resist. In my mind, if I want to live an exceptional life, I need to do exceptional things. In fact, what I have learned is that the things I need to do are not exceptional at all, they are just not always fun or comfortable. However, if the results are for me, then I need to do them anyway, as do you. This week be very careful how you answer the question, what is for me?
by admin | 31 Mar, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
We live in a world where perception is important, and we all want to be seen in a good light. We want to be perceived as successful, happy, healthy, and strong. What we see on social media portrays many people as gorgeous, flawless, happy, and living the life of their dreams. I believe what is far more important – in the pursuit of a meaningful life – than what others see and how we portray ourselves, is what we do in-between. It is truly what happens in-between that matters the most.
As a personal trainer, I would sometimes get questioned when a client didn’t get the results they wanted with their weight and/or measurements. How come I am not losing any weight? They would ask me in an accusing fashion. They would then go on to say, I always turn up to training with you on time and do what you tell me to do. Why isn’t it working? I would always answer the same way, that is a great question, why do you think that is? Often, they would come up with something that made me seem like the perpetrator. Then I would ask, do you know how many hours there are in a week? Together, we would come up with 168. I would then ask, how many of those 168 hours do you train with me? The answer was either one, two or three. I then asked, how many hours are there in-between those times you train with me, and who is in control of those hours? Interesting and almost every time, I never got asked that same question from the same person again. It was never about the times they trained with me; it was always about what they did in-between.
I am going to tell a story about an experience I had last week which may sound a little self-promoting, but I am just telling the story to make the point. So, my apologies if I am coming across as boasting. One morning last week I was training at my outdoor gym. It is a great outdoor area by the beach with chin-up bars, dip bars, and all sorts of great workout equipment. I was doing a strength workout and in-between every single set I would jog on the spot to increase my steps count. The reason I do this is because I can get so much more value from the ‘in-between’ by doing steps rather than just standing or sitting during the recovery time. In fact, I can get an extra 6000-8000 steps in a forty-five-minute workout by doing those few steps in-between sets. That is pretty powerful and is having an incredible impact on my wellbeing.
Well, as I was training between 6-7am that day a man came to the area for his workout. We said good morning to each other and got on with our own workouts. After about 15 minutes, as I was doing my jogging on the spot in-between my sets of push ups, I turned to see what he was doing in-between his sets. I looked, I turned away not really registering what I had just seen, and I turned back to look again. He was vaping. At 6:30am on a Wednesday morning during a workout, presumably to improve his wellbeing, in-between sets, this man was sucking toxic chemicals into his body.
Now, before you try to tell me that vaping is a healthy option, vapes can contain the same harmful chemicals found in cleaning products, nail polish remover, weed killer, and bug spray. So, please don’t go there. This is where I come across as a little high-and-mighty, sorry about that. Whose in-between activity is going to have the most dramatic long-term impact? Well, that depends on what dramatic long-term impact you are thinking about, healthy or unhealthy? For that man, he probably believed that the workout he was doing compensated for the dangerous ‘in-between’ action he was taking. In case you are unsure, it does not. It was his in-between choice that counted the most towards health, happiness, and longevity.
Enough talk about the flawless me (NOT!), and the vaping exerciser. Let’s talk about you for a moment. I want to ask you to start assessing your ‘in-between’ activities in different areas of your life. What do you do in-between workouts at the gym or with a trainer? What is your routine in-between your healthy meals? What do you say about people in-between talking with them? How are you spending your money in-between earning it? What do you do in-between talking with your mentor, coach, partner, or friend? What are the seemingly insignificant actions you take in-between reading your goals and telling yourself, or someone else, what you’re going to do? If it is true that what you do in-between counts the most, how would you predict certain areas of your life might turn out, based on your in-between behaviour in that area? It’s a tough but important question to ponder, and answer.
In my podcast this week with Eva Sifis, called Poised for potential, I speak with the queen of in-between. It is what she has done in-between the time since she was hit by a car in 1999, acquiring a significant brain injury, and now that has allowed her to have such a powerful and positive impact on the lives of many people. As you get on with your day and your life, just remember, what matters most is what you do in-between.
by admin | 25 Mar, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Wellness
The bottom-line is that everything we experience in life is our own doing and is based on one thing and one thing only. That thing is what we believe. I want to thank my good friend Fiona for inspiring this week’s blog. We were chatting the other day, and we were talking about self-belief and self-image and how they impact every area of life. Then she said, when it comes to belief, often it’s not even our belief, but one we have adopted from someone else. So, the question was posed; whose belief is it really?
As I have mentioned in a previous post, I was given a beautiful gift last week. I was asked by the Lions Club, a wonderful organisation doing incredible things to make a difference in people’s lives, to come and speak and interact with several flood affected families at a camp they were hosting. It was over three hours to drive to a beautiful mountain surrounded wilderness park in a place called Licola in Victoria. As I said in my social media post, I believe the person most impacted by my visit was me.
There were nine families, lots of energetic children, and they were all loving time to have fun and be away from the stresses of the trauma they were experiencing at home. We started outside kicking the football and playing some games, until the rain started, and so we went inside to sit in a circle and chat. I had no idea how this would work, particularly as there were many young children with energy to burn. Incredibly, it was one of the most profound and inspiring experiences of my life, as people were very open to share their thoughts, struggles, and breakthroughs.
There was one teenage girl in particular who had the greatest impact on me, and her name was Angel. Angel now 16 years old was left by her drug affected parents, who couldn’t take care of her, to be taken care of by her grandmother when she was a baby. Her grandmother was at the camp as well, and is an amazing lady, for sure. Even after her parents had moved on and had other children with different partners, Angel was still not embraced or supported by either of them. As you can imagine, she had deep issues with abandonment and feelings of being unworthy and unlovable.
As we sat in that circle, I asked several questions of the group. One question I asked was, what is one thing you are proud of about yourself? Angel, who is a shy girl, put up her hand and told the group she was proud that she had removed herself from a toxic relationship. Her initial belief about herself was that she was not worthy of being loved, and so she stayed in the relationship thinking she would never find another, even though it was not healthy. But here is the great news. Angel had realised that the belief was not hers, it was passed on to her by her parents. She went on to say, I have too much self-respect to stay in a toxic situation’. The whole group applauded and hugged her and gave her so much love and support it brought tears to my eyes.
I know Angel will go on and do great things in this world and have a positive impact on many lives, as she is doing right now. It does beg the question I want to ask you, as I have asked myself, whose belief is it really? When you tell yourself you are not good enough, where did that come from? You were not born with that belief. Who told you that? Who exampled that to you? Who conditioned that into you? When you resign yourself to the fact that you will never have enough money, where did that belief come from? Trust me, it’s not yours. It may have come from growing up in a family that struggled financially, or associating with people who believed the pursuit of wealth is evil. Whose belief is it really?
In my podcast this week with Andrea Nicholson, called A pristine health scene, she talks about her own health challenges and the significant history of heart disease in her family. She explained that every woman had died before 50 and every man before 70. It would be a pretty common belief that Andrea would experience the same fate. However, what she said was amazing. She said, genetics had very little to do with the generational history. It was adopted beliefs and habits that led family members down the same path.
I want to encourage you to really examine your beliefs and attitudes towards certain areas of your life this week. If you are struggling, and if you are telling yourself certain stories based on your beliefs, I want to urge you to ask the question, whose belief is this, really? When you realise it is not your belief, but one adopted by you, or pushed onto you by someone else, then let it go and replace it with one that serves you. Your life is far too short and you are far too important to be influenced and impacted by the belief system of someone else. Start today with your own belief that you are worthy and enough.
by admin | 18 Mar, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
How does that sound to you? It sounds amazing to me. Have you ever said any of the following; ‘I’m busy’, ‘I have no time’, ‘I would like to, but’, ‘there is not enough hours in the day’, ‘I could have done it, but’, or many other devastating comments we make every day that prevent us from living our very best life. I have, and I know there are things I could have done better had I thought differently and worked smarter. How would you like to find out how to save time and actually get more done?
Do I hear a yeeha? The great illusive question we all ask is how do I find more time? The answer is simple, you can’t. Sorry to say it, but there are only 24 hours in the day, you can’t create more. Except for one day of the year, when we turn our clocks back at the end of daylight savings. However, that 25-hour day is offset by the 23-hour day when we turn our clocks forward. So, just forget I ever brought that up. If we can’t find more time, how do we create the illusion of more time? Great question. It was my father, and his love of jigsaw puzzles, who provided an answer for me.
My father has a long history of jigsaw puzzling. He has loved them for decades, and it has made buying Christmas and birthday presents for him very easy. In fact, I just bought him a jigsaw puzzle for Christmas 2022. When we were younger, my brother, sister, and I would always buy Dad a jigsaw puzzle as a gift. He has them all; scenery puzzles, architecture puzzle, people puzzles, animal puzzles, car puzzles, and every kind of puzzle you can think of, except one. When we were troublesome teenagers, my brother and I decided to buy him a different kind of jigsaw. It was a playboy puzzle, with a naked lady as the image. Dad was quietly pretty happy about it, Mum, not so much.
As Dad started feverishly putting the puzzle together, my brother and I decided to play a little prank on him. When he was elsewhere, we rummaged through all the pieces and lifted two of them. I am sure you can imagine which two we snatched. We watched Dad with joy as he put that puzzle together quicker than we had ever seen him complete a jigsaw before. Just as he neared completion, we could tell he knew something was up. It was confirmed when he had no pieces left, and two crucial ones missing. It was at that time my brother and I quickly hid as my father chased us around the house yelling, ‘Where are my bonza bits?’
We surrendered his bits, and he happily completed his puzzle. So, what’s the point? There is no point really, I just love that story! Anyway, I was recently visiting my dad and he was preparing to put his newest and a more appropriate jigsaw puzzle together. The key word here is ‘preparing’. He had all the pieces sorted into several containers based on the colours and sections of the puzzle. I asked him why he did that, and he told me because it saved so much time sorting through all the pieces to complete the puzzle. This way he could work one section at a time and get it done much quicker. So, get more done in a shorter time. It sounds like a great idea to me.
That is the power of preparation. It can seem like such a time waster, can’t it? It just seems like all this time is devoted to doing something that seemingly is having no effect. But what it’s really doing is supercharging you and your aspiration to do more in less time. When I mentor aspiring authors, we spend a lot of time in the vision creating, belief building, planning and chapter outline creation stage before one word gets written. Why? Because without the right foundation and plan, most authors get lost, lose faith, and give up. If they do keep going, it will take two or three times longer to finish a first draft, than if some time was devoted to preparation.
You may have heard the ‘sharpen the axe’ analogy. If you have a blunt axe and need to chop down a tree, you have two choices. Get straight into it and bludgeon your way through or spend a little bit of time sharpening the axe before starting. Which is wiser? Which will take less time and get the job done much easier? You know the answer to that, don’t you. The question is, are you sharpening your axe with everything you are trying to create, develop or change, or just trying to bludgeon your way through? The time you spend on proper preparation will multiply your results and get you there much quicker.
In my podcast this week with Jemma Armstrong called Jamming with Jemma, we discuss her journey to become a successful children’s performer. She was trying to bludgeon her way through with limiting beliefs, and an ADHD diagnosis, and was on the verge of giving up. Then she decided to spend time on herself, to build herself, understand and accept herself, and learn to love herself. This investment of time to prepare herself for the journey has unblocked her and now things are growing and flowing with ease. It is an inspiring conversation about the importance of emotional preparation.
Many people say the secret to success is the will to succeed. The reality is that it is actually the will to prepare to succeed that is more important. Many people with a will to succeed, including myself, dive headlong into things without preparation only to find themselves burned out, broken, and lost. With preparation comes confidence and clarity, and with confidence and clarity, and desire, comes amazingness. Spend a little time to prepare and, trust me, you will save time and do more.
by admin | 11 Mar, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
We live in a changing world. We live in a world where we need to be careful about anything and everything that comes out of our mouth as to not offend, disrespect, judge, or marginalise any person or persons. I have lived by the mantra of speak-first-think-later for too many years of my life and consequently spent much of my time apologising. But these days it’s much harder, even with the best intentions in mind. That’s why there are times we just need those people we can banter with and not worry about being offensive. There is wonderful beauty in banter.
I can remember the days as a footballer, yes as you can imagine the conversation was very inappropriate. We would just sit around together and banter. We would laugh at ourselves, at each other and, yes, at times say things that were probably not acceptable by today’s standards. But do you know what? We had fun, we laughed, and in my mind, it was a very healthy and joyful way to spend time. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be a footballer again, and I don’t want to be having those same conversations, but my point is that there is incredible beauty in banter.
These days my banter is very different, it is more about finding answers, solving problems, laughing at who I was, finding joy in who I am, and planning who I want to become. To find the right people to have healthy banter with is the secret. I found those two amazing men very randomly, but the bond has become strong and even led us to being on the verge of releasing a new podcast focused on the power of banter. I think the key to me attracting these two men into my life came from a personal desire to be more courageous, live a bolder life, and make a bigger difference.
For just a few months I trained at a Crossfit gym where, if am being completely honest, I was very intimidated by the strength and fitness of many of the members. One of those crazy men was Ossie Khan, who I observed with great respect and intimidation. When I got to know him, that respect went to another level as I found out what he did. A skydiver with almost 10,000 jumps under his belt, a teacher, trainer and jump school owner, a videographer, an entrepreneur, and, to be honest, a crazy individual. Inherently, this was a man I wanted to get to know and learn from.
Through my writing and book journey I have met many wonderful authors, publishers, and people in the industry. The one who always stuck out for me was Adam Wallace. An incredible personality, and even more so, a down-to-earth and genuine guy who I was immediately drawn to. Then I found out more about him and his journey. A man who had struggled with 150 rejections to get his first Children’s book published before he decided to self-publish. Now he is a multiple New York Times best-selling author of many more than 100 books and is doing amazing things.
One day over COVID, a couple of years ago, I had a thought that these two guys would get on well, so I arranged a dinner together. The three of us immediately connected and the banter began. We talked, we laughed, we dreamed, and we solved the problems of the world. The conversation was so easy and stimulating, and the topics were deep and profound with a light-humoured theme. We have met a few times since and the same thing happened, and each time I left feeling light and inspired, so I thought, there is a podcast in this. We are now on the verge of launching the Wally, Ossie, & Jobbas Podcast. If you want to hear a sample of our banter listen to my podcast this week called, surprisingly, Wally Ossie & Jobbas.
My point this week, as I know it sounds like a sales pitch for our new upcoming podcast (and of course it is, LOL) is about the benefits of banter. As we are surrounded by bad news coming at us from every angle, fear of what we can and can’t say and how people will respond, and the noise of the voice in our own head, it is great to have a safe place, with people you love, respect and trust where you can talk, laugh and banter without any fear of offense, judgment or saying the wrong thing. It is a powerfully healing, fun, accepting, and healthy thing to do, so find your tribe and begin the banter today.
by admin | 3 Mar, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
I want to thank Pablo Miller for this week’s blog. I am very fortunate to talk with Pablo each week on his radio show on Triple M in Karratha, Western Australia. Last week we were talking about my previous blog, as we do each week, and he brought up another amazing perspective to the theme what it’s about, is not what it’s about. So, this week’s blog is part two of this idea. Thanks Pablo.
If you read last week’s blog, you will know my focus was really on our aspirations in life. My thoughts were that when we say we want to lose weight, make money, write a book, or whatever it may be, it is not really what we want. There is always something deeper and more compelling that will drive us to achieve. What Pablo reminded me of, and a great point, was that often when we are interacting with people what we think is going on is not what’s going on. In other words, what many people say it’s about, is not what it’s about.
Let me just say, before I jump into this blog, I am still learning this stuff and trying to get better with understanding, empathising with, and connecting with people. Have you ever been confused or frustrated in your dealings with people? Me too, often. Have you ever heard them say one thing, and then act in a way that is totally confusing to you? Me too. Now the big question, and the most important question, because this is the one that will most help you understand others. Have you ever said one thing to someone, that was a lie, a smokescreen, or an excuse? Of course you have, and so have I. Why do we do that? For many reasons. Maybe we fear being found out. Maybe we are trying to cover up being angry or upset. Maybe because we don’t want to say no or upset someone. There are many reasons, but the bottom line is that often, as we deal with situations involving others, what we think it’s about, is not what it’s about.
Being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes is always the best thing to do when interacting with any other person, it can help you understand what is actually happening. For example, as a man, and I know many men will relate to what I am about to say, I am pretty unaware and clueless at times. In many of my relationships, I have said or done things that have been upsetting or hurtful to my partner. With some limited self-awareness, I would apologise. Then I would ask if she is okay. Often, she would respond with ‘I am fine’. Men, you know what ‘I am fine’ means, don’t you? I do now, I didn’t at that time. I would hear that she is fine, because she said it, just accept it, feel relieved that I was off the hook, and get on with my day. Was I off the hook? No way. Why? Because What I thought it was about, was not what it was about. Had I really put myself in her shoes, in addition to having very sore feet, I would have known that she was really not fine at all. Then I would’ve spent more time communicating, empathising, apologising, and making her feel loved.
This kind of thing happens in every type of interaction, with children, friends, colleagues, and acquaintances. It simply requires some serious self-awareness and focus on how the other person may have perceived what you said or did. The more you can really connect with people and genuinely want the best for them, the more you will understand what it is really about.
The other area is when you are trying to convince, influence, negotiate, or sell. Many people are very resistant to being sold to or convinced to do something, and so even though they may want what you have to offer, they will say something like, ‘I am too busy’, ‘I have no time’, I can’t afford it’, ‘It’s not my cup of tea’, ‘I need to think about it’, or many other ‘smokescreen’ responses.You know this, don’t you? Because you do it too. What many people say it’s about, it’s not about. So, how do you find out what it really is about? First step, do not argue, it never works. Second step, ask this question, ‘I understand, time can be limited for all of us. Apart from that, is there anything else that would stop you?’ If they give you another reason, ask the same question, and keep asking until they say, ‘No, that’s it’. Now you really know what it is about. This strategy is called ‘peeling the onion’, and it’s a great way to find out what the real barrier is and then help them overcome it.
In my podcast this week with Bill Heinrich called Self-love is not selfish, we discuss a crucial area of human experience. When we truly love ourselves, then we are far more open to honest communication with others and a desire to really want to know what it’s about. This is a big topic that I can only touch on, but I want to encourage you to really start thinking about others, as you interact with them, more than you think about yourself. When you do, when you put yourself in their shoes, and when you dig a little deeper to peel the onion, you will finally understand what it’s really about.
