I have a simple question for you this week as you think about what you want more of in your life and the person you’d like to become. It’s a key question, yet one I see applied to the wrong things by many people most of the time. You see, we are all motivated into action, or inaction as the case may be, by one of two things. We are driven by either pleasing methods or pleasing results. Which one you choose will be dependent on your honest answer to the question, what is for you?
Have you ever said about anything, that’s not for me, or that’s not my cup of tea? The next time you catch yourself saying it, I want to encourage you to stop and think about what you may have just eliminated as a possibility for your life. The reality is that for most of us, chasing pleasing methods is the preference we make instead of doing what is required to attain pleasing results. Why? Because, as humans we want to be comfortable and find the quickest and easiest way to be healthy, rich, energised, and happy.
If this wasn’t the case, there wouldn’t be the astounding number of diets, tablets, gambling alternatives, and easy-quick-fix options available. As you will know, if you have tried any of these, as I have, they will never lead to lasting results or fulfilment, just frustration and an empty bank account. So again, I have to ask the question, what is for you?
As a personal trainer, I would encourage clients to do things whilst at training, and in-between. Things like eating breakfast, going for a run, doing some stretching, climbing stairs, and the like. If I had a dollar for every time someone said to me, breakfast is not for me, or, climbing stairs is not my cup of tea, I would be a wealthy man. As an author coach, if I got one mile of travel for every time I was told that, writing each day is not for me, or, making networking/sales calls is not my cup of tea, I would have travelled around the world. In my networking business where I help people create an additional income stream, if I grew an inch every time I was told, it was not for me, or not my cup of tea, I would be able to touch the moon!
The reality is, the reason we say, it’s not for me, or it’s not my cup of tea, is because it’s uncomfortable, scary, or will take work. All of which are totally against our human nature to want comfort. Hence, most people fall into the ‘pleasing methods’ category and then never achieve the ‘pleasing results’ they want. Let me tell you how I negotiate this tendency, because like you, I am very much drawn to comfort. Instead of saying exercise is not for me, I say, being lean, fit, and healthy is definitely for me. Instead of saying making uncomfortable calls is not for me, I say, financial strength, and having the options to live my best life is absolutely for me. Instead of saying, writing is not my cup of tea today, I say, being a best-selling author and inspiring people all around the world is one hundred percent my cup of tea.
Again, I ask you as you are facing things that may not be fun, will definitely be uncomfortable and may cause fear, what is for you, and, what is your cup of tea? I had the most amazing conversation with Dr Liz Wilson on my podcast this week called, Tattoo power. After going through a significant tragedy in her life, it would have been very easy to use the it’s not for me excuse. Instead, she has used her tragedy to fuel her purpose. This is an inspiring conversation I urge you to listen to.
I know you want pleasing results in your life. However, you will never experience them using only pleasing methods. There are times when you have to flip the paradigm of what is and what is not for you. Whilst the method may not be your cup of tea, you need to ponder on the more important question, is the result for me? I am a little weird, as I have always been motivated to do what many people resist. In my mind, if I want to live an exceptional life, I need to do exceptional things. In fact, what I have learned is that the things I need to do are not exceptional at all, they are just not always fun or comfortable. However, if the results are for me, then I need to do them anyway, as do you. This week be very careful how you answer the question, what is for me?