by admin | 26 Jan, 2024 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
As a professional footballer, at a very young age playing my first senior level game, I was knocked out and carried off on a stretcher. I played football at a competitive level for the next 18 years after that incident. I think it would be fair to say, I got hit in the head, to some degree or another, at least 10 times. Have I killed some brain cells? Probably. Has it affected my cognitive function? Possibly. Whatever the outcome of these hits, all I know is this, I need to keep things simple if I am to enjoy my life and achieve what I want. So, I want to encourage you to do all you can to simplify everything.
I am not suggesting you go out and hit your head repeatedly against a brick wall to kill brain cells and affect your cognitive function to help you simplify things. I am suggesting you do it deliberately with everything you do. The Cambridge Dictionary definition of ‘Simplify’ is, to make something less complicated and therefore easier to do or understand. Doesn’t that sound better than to make something more complicated and therefore harder to do or understand? Right? So, why is it so many of us complicate things?
I used to complicate my training to the nth degree. I needed to know which energy systems were being used, which muscles strengthened, what was the optimal time and duration to train, and what training gear was best. Now I simply get up and move each day and vary it on a regular basis. OMG, I used to complicate my eating! I would weigh, measure, count, avoid, and worry. I would make eating out needlessly stressful because I would try to change everything on the menu to suit my extreme and paranoid eating habits. It was exhausting and didn’t give me the results I wanted. Now, I simply eat the whole range of natural foods, enjoy variety, and indulge in moderation. I am far happier and healthier.
I used to complicate my relationships ten-fold by trying always to be liked, worrying about what others thought, and trying to have all the answers. It kept me feeling stuck and insecure. Now, I simply strive to treat every person with respect and value, and it has made all the difference. When I started in business, I complicated selling my product or service by needing to explain all the features and benefits and having all the smooth sales lines. It was a horrible and ineffective experience. Now, I simply focus on building relationships and finding out what is important to people, and everything changed.
I hope you are getting my message here. We live in a world that tries to complicate everything, and I mean everything. If we buy into it, we will be stressed, confused, and far away from what we want. The moment you can simplify things, the moment you make it easier to do and understand, therefore there is more chance you will get the results you want. When you stop and realise that strengthening your financial situation simply requires you to spend less and earn more, then you get into action creating that outcome. You don’t need to understand business, shares, interest rates, or investment strategies. You just need to earn more than you spend.
Make this day, this week, and this year, the one you decide to simplify all the things that are causing confusion and stress. Rather than look at achievement, or material things as the catalyst for your joy, why not go for a walk outside and look around at the incredible world we live in? Just be grateful that you are here to enjoy it. If you have kids, they are going to do things that annoy you, that is a fact, so why not simply love them for who they are and what they add to your life. Do me a favour and stop right now and think about 3 things you love, three things you are grateful for, and three things you are excited about. How does that feel? Pretty simple, right?
In my podcast this week with Madonna Santa called, Wonder words, we discuss the power that the words we use will have on our life. I think we can all agree, it is pretty simple to change the words we use. I didn’t say easy, but it is simple, as is everything in life. The difference between making something beautifully simple and horrendously complicated is deliberate thought. So, as you finish reading this blog and get on with your day, be deliberate about your choice to simplify everything.
by admin | 19 Jan, 2024 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
For the last ten years or so, I have been far more attentive to my financial situation. Before that, not so much. I found myself in a precarious financial position more than once. Now, I track my income and expenses, I control my spending, and I am consistent with depositing into my savings account. It is such a great feeling to make a deposit, isn’t it? It helps me feel in control and that my financial situation is getting stronger every day. We don’t have to limit making deposits only to those we make into a bank account. What if you made daily deposits into other areas of your life?
I was walking home the other morning after a rather strenuous workout, and as I thought about the session, I smiled. I thought to myself, thank goodness that is done, no-one can take that from me. I have made a large deposit into my fitness and health account. I want to urge you to think about the words you speak, the things you do, and the choices you make every day as deposits into or withdrawals out of an account. Your bank account, your relationship account, your wellbeing account, your joy account, or any other account you can think of.
For much of my life I have been withdrawing, instead of depositing and, without realising what I was doing, was becoming broke in different areas of my life. Let me tell you, broke is not fun, whether that is broke financially – been there, broke relationally – been there, or broke in any other way – been there! Three marriages and divorces is not something I wanted, however, I chose them because of the things I did, without even realising, that were emptying the love account.
I know for a fact that a relationship is not strengthened or broken overnight. It is strengthened on a daily basis with each deposit into the love account and weakened with each withdrawal. Each time I worked late, I made a withdrawal. Each time I held in my feelings and kept quiet, I made a withdrawal. Each time I chose TV over doing something together, I made a withdrawal. And so on it goes, until the account is empty, the love is gone, and the relationship is broken beyond repair.
I have since learned that there are many ways to make love deposits into the relationship account. Each loving, supporting, and affirming word makes a deposit. Each act of loving touch and intimacy makes a deposit. Each thoughtful gift makes a deposit. Each act of service makes a deposit. Each moment of quality time spent together makes a deposit. Day-by-day, the love account can be filled, strengthened, and impenetrable. For more information on this, I encourage you to read a book called The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman.
What about your health & wellbeing? Are you primarily depositing, or withdrawing? Every time you hit snooze, you withdraw from your wellness account, but each morning you get up, feel like it or not, and exercise, you make a deposit. Each food or beverage choice you make or don’t make, is either filling or depleting your wellness account. Every time you deal with a situation, depending on your response, you are either filling or depleting your wellness account. Can I ask you to think very carefully, and act very deliberately in this area? Your life is worth it.
If you can consider every thought, word, or action you take as either a deposit or withdrawal into your life account, then it will help you be more deliberate with your choices. The more you deposit, the greater the compound effect of wonderful return you will receive. Just like an interest-bearing account you deposit money into will grow exponentially, so too will other deposits you make. Show kindness to people, and kindness will come back to you in abundance. Look after your wellbeing on a daily basis and the things you can do, the people you can help, and the joy in your life will explode. Show love every single day in your relationships, and you will experience the greatest pleasures possible on this planet. That is to love and be loved.
In my podcast this week, with the amazing Adam Wallace called Behind the goal, we discuss many things that are necessary to accomplish goals. The greatest influence ensuring that any goal comes to fruition are the daily deposits you make in that area every single day. Just know, you have more to give than you can possibly imagine. All you need to do is take what you know, who you are, and what you have, and make a small deposit into your love account, bank account, wellbeing account, and joy account every single day. Then delight in the exponential abundance that comes back to you as a result.
by admin | 13 Jan, 2024 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
Deb and I recently had a wonderful weekend in Sydney, enjoying the sights, sounds and tastes, and also some precious time with my amazing mentor, Glenda. As we sat with her for breakfast on Monday morning last week, she shared with us some incredible insights. None more profound than when the words came out of her mouth, referring to becoming the best we can be, Fear drives, but faith leads.
As I listened to Glenda and thought about this statement, it started making sense. For much of my life I have been driven, and I think many people could relate to that also. When I reflect on my own drive, and the foundation of it, one word comes to my mind. That word is FEAR. I was driven to be a professional athlete in fear that if I didn’t achieve something big, I would not be accepted or respected. As a personal trainer, I was driven to create a body that people would admire in fear of being rejected and unloved. In business I drove myself to the brink of disaster for the fear of failure. Can you relate to any of these?
The question that needs to be asked, and it’s an important one, is, did the outcome of the things I was driven to achieve alleviate the fear? I can tell you, in no uncertain terms, it did not! In fact, if anything it compounded the fear. I remember when I made it at the top level of sport, the fear simply changed. Instead of a fear of being accepted and respected, it became a fear of whether I could maintain it or actually even deserved it. When I achieved a body that was strong, fit, and athletic, the fear turned to one as a result of comparison. I was scared that I wasn’t as ‘ripped and rockhard’ as other people and that, again, I would be found out as an imposter. In my business, the harder I worked, the greater the fear of loss or failure became. It was a horrible cycle that I could not escape. Until I found faith.
My first experience with being led by faith, that I can actually identify, was before I really had any idea of the power of faith. I have told the story many times about my decision to write my first book. There is no doubt in my mind that it was faith-based. How do I know that? Firstly, it made no logical sense, therefore it required total faith to actually believe it could be done. Secondly, and I think most significantly, unlike my other aspirations, I was led to write my first book, not driven. I was led by a vision, I was led by curiosity, and I was led by a feeling that this was the path I needed to follow to have the impact and create the life I wanted. The fact that becoming an author started me on the path to find my purpose in life, when writing a book was never something I thought I could do or wanted to do, is absolute evidence of the power of faith in my life.
Looking back now, as a Christian, I know that the voice I heard to write the book was God’s voice. Since becoming a Christian, and slowly and reluctantly giving up the need to be in control of every situation and the need to be driven by fear, I have been led more and more each day by the wonderful power of faith. Faith is a feeling that pulls you in a direction, even one that may not seem logical and probably totally flies in the face of what mainstream society would accept. In Hebrews 11:1 it says, Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of thing not seen. In other words, it leads us based on an understanding that if we just dare to follow the feeling, we will end up exactly where we need to be, even if we have no idea where that is or how to get there.
I think we can all share experiences of when we just followed a gut feeling without any idea or answers and ended up just where we needed and wanted to be. Even if we didn’t know that’s what we wanted until we got there. This my friend is faith. To be led by faith, you simply have to let go. Let go of what? Let go of the need to have all the answers. Let go of the need to be in control. Let go of the feeling that your value is wrapped up in your achievement. Let go of the drive to do something because of fear. When you believe in a higher power, in my case God, you know you are loved, protected, and led to exactly where you need to be to live a life of meaning, joy, and love.
In my podcast this week with Linn Rivers called Vibrant Wellness, we discuss her being led by faith to overcome many health challenges and traumatic situations from a young age, to be living her own life of joy, wellness, and meaning. This is a challenging thing to do if, like me, you have believed your whole life that, “If it is to be, it is up to me”. You and I can’t do it alone, and the more we try, the more we stay stuck in the cycle of fear. It is my greatest encouragement this week that you allow yourself to be led by faith.
by admin | 4 Jan, 2024 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
Are you a sports fan, or do you know any? If you are one, have you ever said, or if you know one, have you ever heard them say, in reference to a preferred team, ‘we won’, or ‘we lost’, or ‘we played like…’? What is wrong with these comments? From my perspective, and at the risk of offending people, we did not do anything, the team we supported did it. We just sat on the couch, or in the stands and yelled. So, as we launch into 2024, can I suggest that rather than just spectate, why not actually get into the game?
This blog is 100% for me. I am writing it and posting it publicly so that I make myself accountable to you. If, by chance, it meets you at a moment when you feel it is time to stop just spectating, stop simply supporting, and get yourself into action, then we are in this together. If I am being honest, I have definitely been guilty of spectating in the guise of it actually being a positive and forward movement in my life. I was kidding myself. I watched shows like The Shark Tank, The Voice, MasterChef, and so on, and justified to myself that I was using them to learn and getting myself motivated to chase my dreams. The reality: I was using it to hide from the discomfort and fear of chasing my dreams.
Literally, getting into the game means, stop spectating basketball (or other sport), get fit, join a team, and start playing. Now, if you are like me and your playing days are well and truly over, getting into the game means something very different. The game for me is increasing my impact on the lives of people. I have coined a mantra, as my theme for this year, and it is, create more in 2024. More what? More impact on lives, more joy, more meaning, more opportunities, more health, more money, and more love. Trust me, creating more of anything will not happen watching someone else fulfill their dream, it requires getting up and getting into the game.
If I want to have more impact, I have to get into the game of finding people who want and need my help. If I want more joy, I have to get into the game of looking for the good, exploring the lessons, being grateful, and doing things that may be uncomfortable. If I want more meaning, I have to get into the game of living a life strongly aligned with my values of honesty, courage, kindness, and emotional maturity. If I want more opportunities, I have to get into the game of making them happen. If I want more health, I have to get into the game of eating better, laughing more, exercising cleverly, and managing my emotions. If I want more money, I have to get into the game of adding more value. If I want more love, I have to get into the game of giving more love.
What do you want more of in 2024? Write it down. Put it up on your wall, and if you are courageous enough, share it with someone. As you look at what you want more of, all you need to do is simply get into the game. Looking at it, thinking about it, meditating on it, praying over it, and visualising it, will keep you as a spectator. In addition to all of those things you actually need to do something on a daily basis. You know what you need to do, don’t you?
In my podcast this week with Dr Allan Meyer, called Creating more in 2024, we discuss exactly what I have spoken about. Allan had a challenging year in 2023, but is using it to create more for himself, his wife, and many other people in 2024. If you need help with this, please reach out to me. I would encourage you to read or re-read my book T.E.A.R.S. of Joy, as it will help you get into the game. If you want to attend a session to help you, Creating More in 2024, is a virtual event I am running later in January.
Life is a wonderful place of adventure, opportunity, and abundance. Those who are experiencing the great things that are available have lifted themselves off the spectator bench and have actually started participating in life. With all of my heart, I urge you to get into the game so you can create more in 2024.
by admin | 29 Dec, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
The thought of getting up at 5am to exercise is rarely a pleasant one. The time in preparation to make that phone call when rejection is probable is often one of fear. The lead up to the conversation you know you need to have can be terrifying. The period before the audition, presentation, performance, or interview is always uncomfortable, as the fear of failure is high. We have all experienced this, however, my question is this; how do you feel in the moment after the discomfort?
Christmas Day should be a time of joy, peace, happiness, and togetherness. So, why was I so terrified as I drove to have lunch with my family? I will tell you why. There was a moment of discomfort coming, and I was uncertain and a little bit fearful of the response I would get. However, it was important for me to make a statement to my family as to where I am at in the spiritual area of my life.
I became a born-again Christian about 6 or 7 years ago. It was a decision I made when my life was in crisis, and I was looking for answers. A great mentor and trusted friend suggested that I explore Christianity, and if it had been any other person, I would have probably disregarded it. I am grateful every day that I listened to her and followed through, as my walk with God has changed my life for the better in so many ways.
I have always felt like I am a bit of a black sheep in my family. I believe it is because I have chosen not to follow a mainstream path in different areas. As much as I love them, I have got used to the fact that rarely do I ever get asked about certain things. I think they knew I was a Christian; I don’t talk about it with them a lot, because of the fear I have about how they may respond. However, something happened to me in the Christmas morning service a few days ago. God spoke to me and said, “It is time Andrew”.
So, as I was leaving church and heading to lunch, I knew it was time, but I was ‘pooping my pants’ a little! I was rehearsing in my mind what I would say, and I was mulling over the different responses I may get. You know what it’s like, our mind often goes to the worst-case scenario. Well, my mind did, and I realised that, no matter what, I would survive, so, the decision was made. I arrived at my sister’s home, and the normal banter and light conversation happened, and just as we were about to sit down to eat, I knew it was time. I am not ashamed to say, I was scared. I asked for everyone’s attention. They all looked at me as if to say, ‘Oh no, what is he going to say?!’
I simply said, in a nervous voice, and certainly not as polished as I had rehearsed it in my mind, “Since the foundational meaning of Christmas is the birth of Christ, and since this is an important part of my life now, would anyone object if I prayed for us?” There was no objection, for which I was relieved and grateful, so I went on and prayed a prayer of thanks for God, for Jesus, for my family, and a blessing for the people less fortunate. After it was over, we sat down, ate lunch, and had a nice time. There were several hours of fear and uncertainty in the build up to this moment of discomfort, but as soon as it was over, I felt relieved, proud of myself, and very glad I did it.
Isn’t this the truth with any uncomfortable situation? Don’t we build things up in our head, far worse than they will ever be, and then in the moment after the discomfort we are always glad we did it. I am always proud of myself for getting up at 5am and exercising. I am always feeling more confident after I make the phone call. I am always feeling stronger after having the conversation. I am always excited for the next adventure, after the one I have just had. The point is simple, don’t let fear, doubt, or discomfort stop you, because you know you will always feel amazing in the moment after the discomfort.
In my podcast this week with Kate Martin called Push through discomfort, we discuss the amazing gifts that will come from getting through to the moment after discomfort. The movie We Bought a Zoo was on TV the other night. My favourite line in the movie, spoken by character Benjamin Mee to his teenage son, is, “All you need is 20 seconds of insane courage, just 20 seconds of embarrassing bravery and, I promise, something great will always come of it”. No truer statement has been made. Use that 20 second of insane courage to get you through to the moment after discomfort. You will be so glad you did.
by admin | 22 Dec, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Inspiration
As I publish this blog, there is only one week to go before 2023 ends. It has been a year of joyful wonders, adventures, lessons, fun, laughter, tears, challenges, connections, achievements, experiences, breakthroughs, and aha moments. For me anyway, and I am assuming the same for you. As I think back, there is one particular aha moment that will impact me forever more, and as I share it with you, I hope it helps you reflect on your own.
This is a story I have written about this year, so my apologies if you have heard it, however, I believe it’s absolutely worth repeating. Some of the greatest awakenings and fulfilling moments for me this year have been the result of my experiences interacting with the homeless community. I had incredible fear before making the decision to help my friend Kate who is doing amazing work and had been trying to convince me for some time to come and help her feed the homeless. Finally, I did, and the fear was real. It was fear of what to say, fear of what to do, but mostly it was fear of not being able to make a meaningful difference in the lives of these people.
Very quickly I realised that these people didn’t need extraordinary gestures of time or money, they just wanted to feel important. Incredibly, the strength of that message didn’t really hit home until an experience a few days later. I was walking home from an errand, and in a bit of a hurry to get to my destination before my next Zoom meeting. As I was striding up the road, I was approached by a man who may have been homeless, but certainly seemed a little lost. He said hi, and I responded. He started walking with me, which if I am being honest, started worrying me a little. He asked me what my name was, where I lived, and tried to start a conversation. I was polite but guarded, as you can imagine.
When he asked me what I did, I told him I did many things to help people, including writing books. As we were walking, and as I couldn’t seem to shake him, this is how the conversation went from that point;
“What kind of books do you write?” He asked.
“Self-help and personal growth books.” I replied.
“I need to read one of your books.” He stated.
“Why do you say that?” I asked.
“Because I need help. I am 50 years old, have a dead-end job, and I am a loser.” He declared.
With that statement, God spoke to me. I knew I needed to stop walking and actually connect with this man. As I looked at him, he struggled to look at me eye-to-eye, and I asked him his name.
“My name is Mark.” He replied.
“Mark”, I said, “can you please wait here for a moment?
As I was speaking to him, we had reached a corner where I would turn to get to my home. I didn’t want him to follow me any further, but I did want to get something for him. He agreed to wait, and I went home and got him a copy of my book TEARS of Joy. A few minutes later, I was walking back to give him a copy of my book, proud of myself for such a kind gesture. As I approached him, he looked at me with a surprised look on his face, and the next words that came out of his mouth provided the aha moment that changed my life forever.
He said to me, with genuine surprise, relief, and hope in his voice, “You came back!”
In that moment, it made sense. In that moment, I recognised what all people want most, no matter their circumstances in life. In that moment, I realised that we all just want to be noticed, feel important, and feel worthy of coming back for. I had made Mark’s day. Not because of who I am or how I spoke to him. Not because of the book I gave him. Not because of the short conversation we had. But because I saw him as someone who I would come back for. It was the greatest aha moment I had this year. In fact, it may be the greatest aha moment I have ever had.
Ever since that time, back in January this year, I have treated people – all people – differently. I have made every effort to pay attention, take notice, say hi, and just help them to feel that they are valued, worthy, and important. That one aha moment has made such a difference to me and my life. My question to you is, what was your greatest aha moment in 2023? How did it happen? How did it change you? What has happened as a result? I would love to hear from you, if you would like to share.
In my podcast this week called Better or bitter, Tracy Herbert talks about her own aha moment and how it transformed her life. At the age of 17 she was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes and told she would not live for more than 20 years and would suffer for her whole life. In that moment, she decided to take control, and now at the age of 64, not only has she outlived her life expectancy by 27 years, she is living a life of joy and purpose.
With the right perspective, 2023 is a year full of treasures just for you. All you need to do is sift through it and you will discover an abundance of gifts, opportunities, lessons, and moments that can, and I hope have changed your life. Find the one significant aha moment for 2023 today.
