What a mind-blowing statement it is, not. We are all different. I don’t think there is a person on the planet who would disagree with that statement. However, in our actions, reactions, and relationships with other people, I believe there are times we forget it. So, this week, I want to remind you again that we are all different. The other thing that goes with that is, it is okay. People are allowed to think what they like, react as they choose, and behave as they will. Because we are all different.
This fact was made glaringly obvious to me this week. As I do, I get up every morning before 5am and spend the next couple of hours building my mind and exercising my body. My wellbeing is a priority to me, and what I was reminded of again, on this particular morning, it is not for everyone. I have to remember that this is okay, as people are as they are, and it does not require my judgement or opinion.
I was down at the beach training in front of a beachside kiosk. I was doing my exercise routine and noticed a man asleep on the ground under the cover of the kiosk roof. He looked like he just had a big night out and anywhere was good enough for him to sleep. After about an hour, my training had finished and I was stretching. This man finally staggered to his feet and stumbled in my direction. He slurred his words as he astonishingly asked me if I had a cigarette he could have. It was astonishing to me, as I had just been exercising just a few metres from him for 90 minutes. To him, it was clearly a reasonable question. We are all different.
I replied to him, “I am sorry, I don’t smoke, I try to live a healthy life”. Which, even as I was saying, I realised may have come out a little judgmentally. I clearly still have the capacity for more personal growth! He then looked at me, with a spiteful look in his eyes, and declared, “People who exercise are toxic!” He threw some expletives at me and stumbled off just as another man, out for a morning walk, approached. He asked the gentleman for a cigarette, and when he got another rejection, he started swearing at this man and continued swearing as he staggered off into the distance. I chuckled, as I was again reminded that we are all different.
This is a critical realization for all of us as we go about our lives and interactions with many people. For so long, I would become frustrated when others didn’t agree with me, didn’t understand me, or didn’t seem to be listening to me. The reality was, they weren’t trying to frustrate me, nor I them, but we were coming from different perspectives, different experiences, different personalities, and different character traits. We are all different. These days, instead of getting frustrated, I get fascinated. I want to understand someone’s perspective so I can connect with them and identify with where they are coming from. It has made such a difference.
I am not perfect at this, I still miss the mark, and there are times I allow myself to get frustrated, but my awareness is getting better each and every day. I do have to admit that I think I failed with my friend this week, and didn’t get the chance to try understanding his point of view and why people who exercise are toxic. With him, I just had to accept that we are different, and that is okay. I am sure he found a cigarette and is happy.
In my podcast this week, called Choosing you, I speak with Judith M. Costa. She is all about building strong self-worth and developing unconditional love for ourselves and others. The only way we can love unconditionally is by accepting our differences and uniqueness, and those of others. The thing that will often cause the greatest challenges in life is misunderstanding, conflict, and disagreement with others. It happens simply because we are all different but don’t accept that as being okay. So, this week, as you connect with people just remember they are coming from a different place than you are. It’s not good or bad, it just is at it is. To be much happier and more peaceful in life, understand and accept we are all different.