words i have banned…

by admin | 20 Nov, 2021 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset

Words are powerful. The words we speak, and think will determine the quality of and outcomes in our life. Does that sound like a big and audacious statement? If you don’t believe me, great author, speaker, and leader Skip Ross calls it ‘the principle of command’ and says it this way: everything you speak out of your mouth will happen, so be careful what you say. That being the case, I have decided there are some words I need to banish and delete from my vocabulary.

Let’s have a little fun with this before we get into the meat of the blog. As we come out of the last two years where COVID has dictated so much of our lives, I want to start by banishing some worn-out and overused words. If I ever hear the word ‘pivot’ again, I think I may hurt someone! If anyone ever speaks the phrase ‘unprecedented times’ again, I will stick my head in the toilet! The phrase ‘social distancing’ is not only inaccurate because it’s not social, it is physical, but also incredibly annoying. Finally, the expression ‘anti-vaxxers’ is not only really bad spelling, but insulting to people who have the freedom to choose what is put in their body. So, my request is, if you are ever talking to me, please refrain from any of those words or phrases!

Now, on a more serious note, there are three words I believe are dangerous, very dangerous, and if we keep using them, they will debilitate our lives. I have chosen to eliminate these words from my vocabulary. The first is ‘busy’. What’s wrong with that word? You may be asking. Firstly, and forgive my directness, I feel like it is just a thoughtless word that we throw out there and use as an excuse as to why we don’t ever truly fulfill the dreams we have in our hearts. Ouch! Now, if when you use the word, it is because you are busy doing things that are moving you towards your best life, then, you are excused. If, however, you use it to justify why you can’t get in shape, write your book, spend time with your family, build your wealth, invest in yourself or anything else that is important to you, then maybe you should consider banning it as well.

I used to use the word busy all the time. I am so busy, was my go to phrase, and I actually wore ‘being busy’ as a badge of honour. I thought it meant I was important. I have since learned that it means I am wasting my life doing things that don’t inspire me. Now, when asked how I am, I say, I am on purpose. Don’t get me wrong, my life is full, but I choose to only fill it with things that are purposeful for me.

The next word I have banned is the word ‘failure’. Why? Because in mind, there is no such outcome as failure. There are lessons. There are realisations. There are different perspectives. There are opportunities. But there are no failures. It is important to realise that, when you start out in the pursuit of achieving something meaningful in your life, there are only two possible outcomes, and failure is not one of them. The first is success, the second is quitting. If you don’t get it the first time, you haven’t failed, you have just found a way that doesn’t work. So, learn from it and go again. The question I often get asked by aspiring authors is, how many times should I submit to a publisher when I keep getting rejected? My answer to them is simple, when you get a publishing contract, no matter how many submissions it takes. There is no such thing as failure, the word is banned!

The final word I have banned is ‘impossible’. The moment we use the word impossible, is the same moment we switch our minds off to even the slightest shred of hope and possibility. Trust me, there is always a possibility. I believe anything is possible when we focus on what we want, take simple daily steps, and persist until it happens. As soon as you start taking action, something that may seem impossible all of a sudden seems possible. With more action, course correction and modification it moves from possible to probable. With more focus and determined action it moves from probable to certain. When you get to that point, it is a done deal. Once achieved, you will look back and it will all make sense. In fact, it will fit Phillip Yancey’s definition of faith which is: trusting in advance that which only makes sense in reverse. Banish the word ‘impossible’.

There you go. The words and phrases I have banned from my vocabulary, and I encourage you to do the same. In my podcast this week called Empowering teen voice, with Jarred Kellerman and Kelly Murphy, we discuss the power of words when communicating with young people. This is a powerful podcast that will impact many lives. As you move forward in your life, please know that the words you speak will come true, so please only use words that will bring to reality the amazing life you want. Ban the words that don’t!

The only one in the game

by admin | 12 Nov, 2021 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset

I have spent much of my life with a competitive and comparative mindset. I played a professional sport at a young age and had this attitude driven into my brain. In fact, I remember being told by one of the coaches, to win at all costs, even if you must cheat! With such a strong competitive attitude drilled into me, I became hyper aware of how I compared to others. What I found was, when you compare yourself to others, you will always come up short. There is always someone fitter, more talented, wealthier, more successful, and better in every area. True happiness and success will come to you when you realise the only one in the game is you.

I was terrified every year for my seven years of professional sport at the St Kilda Football Club, because at the start of each new season, a new batch of extremely talented footballers would be invited to come try out. As I looked at their skills and compared them with mine, I knew I was a goner. Interestingly, each season, I stayed and those with more talent than me didn’t make it. Why I stayed, I will get back to later in this blog because I actually surprised myself with my attitude as a young and pretty immature kid.

I have spent most of my life in comparison mode. Let me tell you, if you don’t already know, it is exhausting and futile. I wanted to work harder, be fitter, look better and do more than other people, for one reason and one reason only. That reason was to be acknowledged, accepted, validated, and admired. It didn’t work, as I never felt any of those things, even though I played professional football, developed an impressive body, was super fit and became a best-selling author. Why? Because I was looking outside of myself for answers that were only inside of me. As I looked around, I always saw better footballers, fitter people, better physiques and more prolific authors. The moment I stopped looking at everyone else and realised the only person in the game is me, things changed dramatically. And they will for you too.

Great Australian swimmer, Kieren Perkins, swam 1500m in three consecutive Olympic Games, winning two gold medals and a silver. By his own admission, when he started swimming, he was terrible. His astronomical success came for one reason and one reason only. Every time he got in the pool to compete, he only ever competed against one thing; his last previous best time. He never worried about other swimmers, he only focused on his own best performance. It was that attitude that propelled him to be one of the most celebrated athletes in Australian Olympic history.

What are you looking around at? Who are you comparing yourself too? Who are you competing with that you can never beat? There is very common swimming term, that encourages swimmers to stay in their own lane. In other words, stop looking at what the other swimmers are doing as it is just a distraction. The same applies for you and me. The more I looked around trying to compare, the worse I felt and the more tempted I was to give up saying, I can’t do it or I am not good enough. When you focus on yourself, and personal improvement, let me tell you, anything is possible.

Getting back to my days as a young professional athlete, the only reason I lasted for seven years when many far more talented footballers came and went was twofold. Firstly, they clearly didn’t have the attitude or work ethic to make it at the highest level. Secondly, I just intuitively knew that I couldn’t compete with them at a talent level, but I could work harder and focus on personal improvement. In other words, I had to be the only one in the game. The moment I removed others from the equation, life was easier, more fulfilling and I achieved more.

I had a wonderful conversation with former Australian Netballer and great friend Susan Meaney on my podcast this week, called Life is not a competition. She was focused, driven and competitive and hence she played her sport at the highest level. One of the things she has learned, as she is now the mother of four beautiful children, is that the only one in the game is her, and there is not longer any need to compete or compare with others. It is a wonderful podcast I encourage you to listen to.

I am very proud as I have recently published my eighth book, TEARS of Joy. Let me tell you, I was not a writer when I decided to become an author for the first time, that is for sure. In fact, I was the furthest from being an author than most authors ever were. However, I knew that I could share my passion with a real desire to help others and I knew, if I just played my own game, without any comparison to others, I could do it. I did, and I am very excited about my new book. Anything is possible for you, if you remember that the only one in the game is you.

it can change, in a heartbeat

by admin | 6 Nov, 2021 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset

There was a very special occurrence that happened in my life this week. After many years of writing, rewriting, submitting, editing, re-editing, polishing and waiting, my eighth book, TEARS of Joy, finally arrived on my doorstep. I opened the package, with tears of joy in my eyes, and I looked at the beautiful cover, felt the matte texture, flicked through the pages and smelled the paper, and I was a mess! I stopped to reflect where my writing journey all began, almost 20 years ago. It happened in a moment and in a heartbeat. That moment changed my life forever.

I was so incredibly emotional as I held this book in my hands for the first time, even though it is my eighth. Because I realised it is not just a book with pages and words, it represents so much more. It reflects decades of experiences, pain, heartbreak, struggles, regret, self-doubt, overcoming, learning, changing, gratitude, focus and most of all, the feeling of joy of achievement. No wonder there were tears. I mean, this book represents so much more than many people would ever realise or understand. If you have written, or a are writing a book, you will know what I mean.

I have been an author now for more than seventeen years, and loving my life as a full-time author, speaker, blogger, mentor now podcaster for over fifteen years. But let me tell you, there was a time when I was not loving my life, in fact far from it. There is a moment, I now talk about often, when everything changed in a heartbeat. I want to tell the story again, even if you have heard it, because I want you to know that no matter what you may be facing right now, it can change, in a heartbeat.

Many people know I was a personal trainer for fifteen years, working around 80 hours every week. Then, in the year 2000, as I was looking for ways to impact more lives, help people with nutrition and create another source of income, I bought a café. It was a pretty crazy decision as I was already working long hours as a PT, and I had no experience in hospitality. So, it’s not really a surprise to anyone, with a logical mind and business brain, that within two years of working more than 100 hours and seven days every week, I found myself in close to $100,000 debt. It was the lowest point in my life, but it was all about to change, in a heartbeat.

As I sat there, in 2002, with my head in my hands, rueing my current circumstances, I asked myself a different question to normal. I asked myself, how do I want to live? Why did I ask myself that? Because, asking myself what I wanted to do was clearly not working. That question triggered a very clear vision that included: impacting lives, financial options, time, wellbeing, great relationships, travel, and, most importantly, to love my life. The vision was so clear and so strong that it prompted a thought that changed my life. The thought was illogical, irrational and unreasonable. The thought was perfect. The thought was to write a book.

So, despite all the very sound reasons why writing a book, at that time, was not logical, I acted on the thought. In that moment my life changed forever because as a result of the thought, the strong desire it created, the action I immediately took and the routine of writing I created, I became a best-selling author two years later. As I sit here typing this now, just having published my eighth book, I want to tell you that, everything I envisioned on that day is now the reality of my life. I could not be more grateful. My life changed in a heartbeat.

My life didn’t change when I had the idea to write a book, it didn’t change when I started writing, I didn’t change when it was published, and it didn’t change when it sold over 30,000 copies. My life changed in that moment when I asked myself the question: how do I want to live? It changed when I visualised what I wanted, and I made the decision, despite how illogical, to get started and keep going until it was my reality.

Okay, that is way too much about me. This is about you. If you are not where you want to be in your life, it can change in a heartbeat. It will change the moment you get crystal clarity about what you want, and you decide to make that vision a reality. You don’t need all the answers about how to get there, you just need to decide that you will. Step out in faith, commit to the journey and the rest will take care of itself. I want to encourage you to listen to my podcast with Jemima Montag, called Olympian Mindset. Jemima came 6^th at the Tokyo Olympics in the 20km race-walk and is an inspiring example of how great achievement and success happens way before the realisation of the dream. It happens in your mind, and it happens in a heartbeat. Change your life today.

really, what are your options?

by admin | 30 Oct, 2021 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset

Did you know that there are two main reasons we do things? We do things for pleasing methods. In other words, things that we enjoy and are comfortable. Or we do things for pleasing results. By that I mean, comfort and enjoyment are not the priority, getting the result you want is. I want to encourage you this week, to really think about what you want, and then assess the real options available to you. Whether you like those options, they are comfortable or not.

Many years ago, after I had published my first book, I had a dream to be a full-time author, speaker and influencer. I had a vision to love my life. I was not loving my life at that time, that’s for sure. I was working over 80 hours per week as a personal trainer and had been for fifteen years. I was in serious debt after a failed café and I was desperately relying on my active income to not just pay off the debt, but to live my life. Here was my dilemma, whilst working those 80 hours, I didn’t have the time I needed to create the life as an author I wanted. But, I couldn’t leave my PT business because I needed that income to survive. I was trapped. It was torture, because I could see what I wanted, I just didn’t know how to get there.

I was what I come to know as unconsciously incompetent. In other words, I didn’t know what I didn’t know. I started reading and researching and finally came to the conclusion that I needed to set up a passive or ongoing income that world allow me to walk away from PT, invest time to build my new life, without stressing about money. I am going to be very transparent right now, because this is a message I believe we all need to hear. After some reading and investigation, I discovered the popular options were building a property or share portfolio, having a superannuation or building a traditional business. All which would take many years and a large capital investment, one that I did not have.

After reading some of Robert Kiyosaki’s books, specifically, The business of the 21^st century, another option was introduced into the mix. Network marketing. Yuck! I resisted it for quite a while, but eventually made a decision to give it a go. Why? Because, when I was honest with myself, there was NO other option that could predictably transition me from personal training to authoring, with a predictable ongoing income, within two years. I am happy to say, within two years I retired from personal training and became a full-time author. That was over 15 years ago, and I couldn’t be more grateful. It happened because I decided to become more focussed on pleasing results than pleasing methods, and I was honest with myself about my real options.

Are you doing something that is comfortable, or at least familiar, yet is keeping you stuck where you are? Are you resisting what you really need to do because you are holding out for a better maybe easier option? I once heard a very challenging saying, don’t wish it were easier, wish that you were better. Ouch! We are often far too concerned with comfort and so we resist change. We are often far too quick to justify our position and find excuses as to why we can’t change. I want to encourage you this week to laser-focus in on what you want and to really explore the options that will enable you to make it happen. Please don’t look at the pleasing method options, look for those that will deliver pleasing results.

If you want to improve your health, many options will present themselves. From: tablets, to diets, to gimmicky equipment, to other seemingly easy and quick-fix options. Be real with yourself and get resigned to the fact that you will need to change your thinking, change your eating habits and move your body. Not always fun, but I promise, you will be glad you did. Want to get out of debt? There are lots of easier looking options, right? The only option that is guaranteed is probably the one you will resist because it will take, time, work and some compromise.  I encourage you to do it anyway. Your relationship will not improve by ignoring the issues. Trust me on this one. It will take getting uncomfortable and doing things that may seem difficult. Of all the options you can choose, please go for the one that will improve you as a person, and a partner, boss, leader, parent or friend, even if it is the more challenging option.

I have a new vision for my life, to buy an apartment in Budapest, Hungary. I was there in 1990, as you can see by the photo. I am now a dual citizen and want to spend three months every year, based in Hungary, travelling in Europe. Let me tell you, that will take work, and I will need to choose the right options to be in the financial position to do it. In my podcast with Pavel Verbnyak this week called Hour of power, we discuss some empowering options you can choose each  morning that will propel you towards your best life.

I think I have made my point. I have long been a person who wanted to find an option that was comfortable and that I always liked. There is no such thing, if permanent and positive change is what you are after. As you sit here, after reading this blog, and are thinking about what you want for your life, for sure, weigh up all the options. However, please be honest with yourself about what are really options and what are not. I am sure you don’t want to be in the same position in 12 months from now. If that is you, choose the option that will give you pleasing results, even if the method is not as pleasing. When you know in your heart that what you are doing will lead you to the life you want, the method will become far more enjoyable. Trust me!