I am a far less self-absorbed human than I used to be. I still am to an extent, that’s for sure, but I am better. Do you know how I know that I am better? Simple, I am able to laugh at myself now, much more than I used to. When we are self-absorbed, we take everything personally and are way too serious. It is stressful and exhausting, and it will stop us from experiencing the joy that life has to offer. This week, I want to encourage you to laugh at yourself and make it a mission in life to find humour in everything that you can.

I am going to say something right now that is coming from my heart yet may sound harsh. I am saying it because, it was me and I wish someone would have said it to me many years ago. Are you ready? Here it goes: when you are insecure, you are high maintenance! There, I said it, now to justify it. When I was insecure, needing attention and validation, I thought I was humble and low maintenance, but I was the opposite. I was always needing someone else to help me feel good or better about myself, because I didn’t feel it inside. When something undesirable happened, I would search for sympathy, grasp for pity, and be offended by anyone who laughed at me. It was horrible because I never got what I wanted.

When you are hoping for others to react the way you want, you will regularly be disappointed and frustrated, because others will only do what they want to do, not what you want them to do. When you the person trying to console the insecure person, you will realise, very quickly, that no consolation can help, because what they want is nothing that you can provide. Things started to change for me when I was able to find humour in my situation. I am not sure why it helped, but it was the key to reducing stress, for everyone concerned.

I have told the story many times about my classy 1977 purple Holden Gemini, but for the sake of this blog, I will tell it again. I was about 20 years old, and at the time was in the middle of my professional football career. I woke up early one Sunday morning to get to a recovery training session. We had played the day before, and partied well into the wee hours, so I am sure you can imagine the state I was in. Let’s just say, I was not at my peak. The alarm went off, I rolled out of bed feeling very sore from the game and very seedy from the post-game. I got my training gear and headed out to my limousine, to drive to training. On reflection, I probably should not have been driving, however, it was the 80’s… say no more!

I got to my car to find that the driver side door was unlocked, which was strange as I always locked it. I was in no state to analyse or worry about it, so I got in the car, put my keys in the ignition, put on my seatbelt and went to grab the steering wheel. My hands grabbed air. I looked. I rubbed my eyes. I looked again. There was no steering wheel! Someone broke into my car and stole my steering wheel. I couldn’t understand it, and I was in no logical state to comprehend what had happened. I was distraught! Clearly, I could not drive the car anywhere, unless of course it was a straight road! So, I went in, woke up my dad and asked if he could drive me to training. He agreed.

I was really upset. Certainly, more upset than I should have been, that’s for sure. At that stage of my insecure and self-absorbed life, however, all I wanted was sympathy. I incorrectly assumed I would get it from a group of footballers. I walked into the change rooms, where 30-40 men were getting ready to train, with a distraught look on my face. They looked at me, and said, What’s wrong Jobbas, is everything okay? They genuinely thought something bad must have happened. So, I told them, fully expecting sympathy. Instead, within a few seconds, the whole group of men were rolling on the floor in hysterical laughter.

I was so offended, and I kept telling them it wasn’t funny. Each time I did, the laughter and jokes grew louder and longer. I moped around for a while, I sucked my thumb for a few days, I had my little pity party and then I thought, do you know what, that is funny! I have been laughing about that story and at myself ever since.

Do you want to be happier? Do you want to be healthier? Do you want better relationships with yourself and others? Do you want to find joy in every area of life? Do you want to live a long and purposeful life of success and prosperity? I am sure you answered yes to all of those questions. The answer is simple, find humour. In my podcast with Craig Harper this week called Time to laugh, we discuss this is detail, and laugh a lot. What you look for, you will find. So, start looking for and you will start finding humour.