by admin | 16 Feb, 2024 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
I don’t know about you, but up until a few days ago I had no idea what a drop bolt was. I am the least handy person, when it comes to fixing stuff, that I know. I can change a light globe and change a car tyre, but that’s about the extent of it. Now, not only do I know what a drop bolt is, I also know that whatever drama that a drop bolt can create, can also be resolved. Get ready for the great drop bolt drama…
I live in an apartment block with seven apartments, and being one of three owner-occupiers, I am on the committee with two lovely ladies. We recently had our front access security gate fixed, and we quickly realised it needed an additional drop bolt attached so we could hold it open when needed, as it had an automatic closing mechanism. The company doing the work sent a quote for the drop bolt, and if I am being perfectly honest, I didn’t pay too much attention. It was $420 and seemed reasonable, so we accepted the quote. Until the drop-bolt was attached, that is.
As I mentioned, I had no idea what a drop bolt was, and then when the girls and I saw it, we were flabbergasted (a word not used nearly enough!). We couldn’t quite believe how they could possibly justify $420 for what we discovered was a $15 drop bolt, and labour that could have been no more than 30 mins. We spoke to the Body Corporate who said, since we had agreed on the quote, there was nothing we could do about it. However, I had other ideas.
I went into spy-like investigation mode. It was all very exciting! My first plan was to anonymously call the company and ask what their call-out and hourly rate was. They explained that they charged a $180 call-out including 20 minutes of labour time, and $45 per 30 minutes after that. I then did some sums in my mind. I was pretty confident they could have done the job in the 20 minutes but gave them an additional 30 minutes to be on the safe side. That worked out to be $225 plus the $15 for the almighty drop bolt.
My next step was to ring them back to question the quote and ask them to modify it to reflect a more reasonable amount. Wow, that was one of the most frustrating calls I had made in a long time. I felt like I was talking to a brick wall. When I explained the situation and asked if they would adjust the quote, I was met with someone who would not budge and told me there was nothing they could do. No amount of tantrumming from me worked. I got off the phone, feeling angry and frustrated, and then I reflected on it for a while. I realised I had handled the conversation very poorly. Why? I had made the whole conversation about what I wanted, and not even considered what was important for the company.
Later in the day I had an aha moment. I was looking at their website, and if I am being honest, I was trying to find a way to leave negative feedback. Instead, I found a statement that I knew could help us. The statement said this; Our business depends on the satisfaction of our customers; we would be grateful if you would post a Google Review to share with our other customers. Now I knew what they wanted. So, I drafted an email, a very friendly email, explaining that I would love to be able to post a positive review, however we were not satisfied. I explained the situation and asked that, if it was true that customer satisfaction was so important, they would consider reviewing the initial quote. I sent it one night during the week. The next morning, I received and email grateful for my feedback and that they were happy to reduce the quote to a much more acceptable amount.
The drop bolt drama was resolved. How was it resolved? Not by me getting angry. Not by accusing them of ripping us off. Not by threatening that they would lose our business. It was resolved by finding out what was important to them and showing them how they could get it. What a powerful lesson this is for all of us. How do you get a child to eat vegetables? How do you get your partner to do something you would like them to do? How do you get someone to come and fix something for you? How do you get yourself out of bed doing what you need to do in life? You do it very simply by finding out what is important to people (and yourself) and showing them (and yourself) how, by doing what you want them to do, it will help them (you) get what they (you) want.
It is amazing what you can learn from a drop bolt! Always look at things in terms of how it impacts another person, always talk in terms of what they want, and you will be amazed with what can happen in their life, and yours. I am so grateful for the drop bolt drama.
by admin | 10 Feb, 2024 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
Are you ready for the greatest insight ever? The one that will have the most profound impact on you and your life? The one that will most powerfully affect your relationships, your decisions, your achievements, your impact on other people, and the legacy you will leave? Are you ready to stop blaming, stop complaining, and start taking control of your life? The insight that will change everything, is the understanding that your language is life.
I don’t know about you, but I hate taking responsibility for the things in my life that are not working. It is far easier to blame other people and challenging circumstances. There are two problems with that mindset. Firstly, it won’t change anything. Secondly, it’s the wrong place to look. The right place to look, in fact, looking is the wrong sense to evoke here. I mean, the right place to pay attention to, in fact the only place to pay attention to, is the language you use each and every day, with each and every situation in your life.
That is it. Nothing more complicated. The life you and I are currently experiencing right now, and will experience in the future, is 100% based on the tone, direction, and intent of our language. I don’t mean the dialect of language you speak. I am talking about how you think and speak about and to yourself and others, based on your perspective, belief systems, experiences, and conditioning. One definition of ‘language’ I found says, communication of thoughts and feelings through a system of arbitrary signals, such as voice sounds, gestures, or written symbols. I would definitely include thoughts and self-talk in that definition.
That’s it peeps. If you are looking for answers, solutions, reasons, weaknesses, and strengths, look no further than your language in that area of life. The only reason you have achieved something that may have seemed illogical or unlikely is because of what you said to yourself about that achievement. The only reason you may be lacking in an area of your life, is because of the thoughts, words, and language you are using in that area. If you are healthy and happy, it’s your language. If you are tired and unhealthy, your language. If you are in great relationships, it’s your language. If you are often in conflict, your language. If you are experiencing abundance, achievement, and joy in life, it’s your language. If you are experiencing lack, obstacles, and misery, again, it’s your language.
It can be a bitter pill to swallow to accept that you are 100% responsible for where you are in life. However, it’s incredibly empowering and exciting to know that in a heartbeat you can change direction. Simply, change your language. Yes, I did say simply change your language, which may make it sound that I am suggesting it will be easy. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.
From a young age, the primary gist of the language I used about myself was that I was not good enough. That idea was planted in my head by someone else’s language to me when I was a child. It was actually thoughtless teachers who didn’t understand the power of the concept I am sharing here. From that time on, I would talk myself out of things, tear myself down, and take myself out of the game. It was never about my ability, potential, or capacity, it was always about my language. Then because I often felt insecure and lacking in many ways, the language I would use towards others would reflect that, and impact them and their own self-language. Can you see the vital importance of this idea? I am talking about the language we speak to others, the language we speak to ourselves and, incredibly important, the ability to interpret the language that gets thrown our way.
In life there are things we can control, and things we cannot control. The greatest waste of time, and the most anxiety-causing and frustration-creating focus is on things out of our control. What other people do and say falls in that category. What we can control is how we use language, who we choose to associate with, and how we choose to interpret other people’s damaging language towards us.
If we believe that language determines life, and it does, then we need to take control. The greatest turning point for me, and it is reinforced in the book Willpower Doesn’t Work, by Benjamin Hardy, was when I changed my environment, in terms of the people I was associating with. I chose to hang out with people who supported and encouraged me, and that in turn helped change my own self-talk so I was using more empowering language with myself and others. Everything changed. I didn’t get smarter, more talented, more knowledgeable, or luckier. I changed my language, and my life changed.
Tell yourself you can, and you will. Tell yourself you are good enough, and you will be. Find others who will support that message and you will believe it even more. Then, when you start using that empowering language with others, you will not only help them, but in turn you will build more self-love to reinforce the empowering language you use about yourself. I hope this all makes sense. It is the thing that will most profoundly impact your life, and a thing that can be changed in a heartbeat. As you move forward in your day and life, be conscious of how you think and speak, and who you associate with. Make the changes you need to make because language is life.
by admin | 2 Feb, 2024 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
Have you ever said to yourself or someone else, there just isn’t enough time in the day? Or, I wish I had more time? Or, If only there were 25 hours in the day? I think these are statements every single human has stated at some time in their life. I have, more times than I could even imagine. When we make the statement, we genuinely believe we don’t have enough time. Well, what if I were to suggest to you that there is a time goldmine just waiting for you to tap into?
You are probably thinking I am going to suggest you get up at 4am or some crazy hour like that. If you can, you will absolutely find a patch of time – if used purposefully – that can change your life, for sure. The good news is, I am not suggesting you get up any earlier or go to bed any later than you are right now. There is a saying that my mentor uses all the time that suggests, the millionaire and the beggar have the same 24 hours in the day, it is how they use those hours that determines their outcomes in life.
With this in mind, I decided I needed to honestly assess my use of time and how it was impacting the things I was trying to create in my life. As a result, I made a decision last weekend that I would hide my remote control and stop watching television for at least two weeks. If I am being honest, I had let my television watching slowly grow to the point when I knew it was stealing valuable and meaningful time from my life. In fact, there were probably some days, without even realising what was happening, I was watching three hours of television. Yes, I said three hours. Yes, I am embarrassed, especially as I am someone who portrays this image of productivity and purpose.
As I started doing the sums, I started feeling immediately nauseous. Three hours per day, is 21 hours per week, and over 1000 hours per year. More than 45 days every year, or 12.5% of my life, I was effectively flushing down the toilet. What a wake-up call it was as I started imagining what I could be doing with that goldmine of time.
It snuck up on me so subtly that I didn’t realise it until my epiphany. I made the decision last Sunday, and I was worried it would be really hard and I wouldn’t be able to commit to it. As Monday rolled around, I actually started to get excited about what I could do with this extra time. What I found was a goldmine of time. I had time to write more, to connect more, to pray more, to listen more, to read more, and to be more present. Each night over the last week, after finishing my meetings, I have walked to the beach and watched the sun set majestically over Port Phillip Bay and felt increasingly grateful for my life and my home.
That one simple decision to stop watching TV has unlocked a treasure-trove of time in my life to do things that have lifted myself, my vision, my self-belief, and my energy to another level. So, my question to you right now is, where can you find your time goldmine? Before you answer that question, the first question you need to answer is, do I want my situation to change, and do I want more for myself and my life? If you answered yes to that one, and you are serious, then finding the time goldmine is actually very simple.
I want to challenge you to, right now, do some calculations of how much time you spend each week doing things that are draining your goldmine. Things like; watching the TV, scrolling through social media feeds, playing mind-numbing games, gossiping, unnecessary meetings, watching cutesy videos online, reading newspapers & trashy magazines, driving to meetings you could do online, worry, negative self-talk, and the list goes on and on and on. Have I hit a nerve with any of these? If so, awesome. Now, if you were to eliminate any or all of these things to unlock an abundance of extra time, what will you do with that time and, is it worth it?
Would you spend more time with people you love? Would you be more present? Would you focus on your wellbeing? Would you actively work on personal development? Would you build your financial position? Would you be more creative? Would you help others? Would you pray, meditate, and/or find mindful moments each and every day? Are these things starting to excite you? Are you ready to start mining the time gold that is there for you? If so, start small. What one thing can you stop doing that will unlock some time for you? Try it this week, and if it is worthwhile, find something else to eliminate next week. Trust me, it is worth it.
In my podcast this week with Alena Turley called Suspend disbelief, we discuss the possibilities that exist in life when you can find space between the doubt and time in your life to focus on what is most important. I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that I have just taken away any reason for you to ever say again I am too busy, or I have no time. Sorry! Actually, I am not sorry at all, because the great news is that if you follow through on this, you will have just discovered a time goldmine to help create the life you dreamed about, and the one destined for you.
by admin | 19 Jan, 2024 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
For the last ten years or so, I have been far more attentive to my financial situation. Before that, not so much. I found myself in a precarious financial position more than once. Now, I track my income and expenses, I control my spending, and I am consistent with depositing into my savings account. It is such a great feeling to make a deposit, isn’t it? It helps me feel in control and that my financial situation is getting stronger every day. We don’t have to limit making deposits only to those we make into a bank account. What if you made daily deposits into other areas of your life?
I was walking home the other morning after a rather strenuous workout, and as I thought about the session, I smiled. I thought to myself, thank goodness that is done, no-one can take that from me. I have made a large deposit into my fitness and health account. I want to urge you to think about the words you speak, the things you do, and the choices you make every day as deposits into or withdrawals out of an account. Your bank account, your relationship account, your wellbeing account, your joy account, or any other account you can think of.
For much of my life I have been withdrawing, instead of depositing and, without realising what I was doing, was becoming broke in different areas of my life. Let me tell you, broke is not fun, whether that is broke financially – been there, broke relationally – been there, or broke in any other way – been there! Three marriages and divorces is not something I wanted, however, I chose them because of the things I did, without even realising, that were emptying the love account.
I know for a fact that a relationship is not strengthened or broken overnight. It is strengthened on a daily basis with each deposit into the love account and weakened with each withdrawal. Each time I worked late, I made a withdrawal. Each time I held in my feelings and kept quiet, I made a withdrawal. Each time I chose TV over doing something together, I made a withdrawal. And so on it goes, until the account is empty, the love is gone, and the relationship is broken beyond repair.
I have since learned that there are many ways to make love deposits into the relationship account. Each loving, supporting, and affirming word makes a deposit. Each act of loving touch and intimacy makes a deposit. Each thoughtful gift makes a deposit. Each act of service makes a deposit. Each moment of quality time spent together makes a deposit. Day-by-day, the love account can be filled, strengthened, and impenetrable. For more information on this, I encourage you to read a book called The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman.
What about your health & wellbeing? Are you primarily depositing, or withdrawing? Every time you hit snooze, you withdraw from your wellness account, but each morning you get up, feel like it or not, and exercise, you make a deposit. Each food or beverage choice you make or don’t make, is either filling or depleting your wellness account. Every time you deal with a situation, depending on your response, you are either filling or depleting your wellness account. Can I ask you to think very carefully, and act very deliberately in this area? Your life is worth it.
If you can consider every thought, word, or action you take as either a deposit or withdrawal into your life account, then it will help you be more deliberate with your choices. The more you deposit, the greater the compound effect of wonderful return you will receive. Just like an interest-bearing account you deposit money into will grow exponentially, so too will other deposits you make. Show kindness to people, and kindness will come back to you in abundance. Look after your wellbeing on a daily basis and the things you can do, the people you can help, and the joy in your life will explode. Show love every single day in your relationships, and you will experience the greatest pleasures possible on this planet. That is to love and be loved.
In my podcast this week, with the amazing Adam Wallace called Behind the goal, we discuss many things that are necessary to accomplish goals. The greatest influence ensuring that any goal comes to fruition are the daily deposits you make in that area every single day. Just know, you have more to give than you can possibly imagine. All you need to do is take what you know, who you are, and what you have, and make a small deposit into your love account, bank account, wellbeing account, and joy account every single day. Then delight in the exponential abundance that comes back to you as a result.
by admin | 4 Jan, 2024 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
Are you a sports fan, or do you know any? If you are one, have you ever said, or if you know one, have you ever heard them say, in reference to a preferred team, ‘we won’, or ‘we lost’, or ‘we played like…’? What is wrong with these comments? From my perspective, and at the risk of offending people, we did not do anything, the team we supported did it. We just sat on the couch, or in the stands and yelled. So, as we launch into 2024, can I suggest that rather than just spectate, why not actually get into the game?
This blog is 100% for me. I am writing it and posting it publicly so that I make myself accountable to you. If, by chance, it meets you at a moment when you feel it is time to stop just spectating, stop simply supporting, and get yourself into action, then we are in this together. If I am being honest, I have definitely been guilty of spectating in the guise of it actually being a positive and forward movement in my life. I was kidding myself. I watched shows like The Shark Tank, The Voice, MasterChef, and so on, and justified to myself that I was using them to learn and getting myself motivated to chase my dreams. The reality: I was using it to hide from the discomfort and fear of chasing my dreams.
Literally, getting into the game means, stop spectating basketball (or other sport), get fit, join a team, and start playing. Now, if you are like me and your playing days are well and truly over, getting into the game means something very different. The game for me is increasing my impact on the lives of people. I have coined a mantra, as my theme for this year, and it is, create more in 2024. More what? More impact on lives, more joy, more meaning, more opportunities, more health, more money, and more love. Trust me, creating more of anything will not happen watching someone else fulfill their dream, it requires getting up and getting into the game.
If I want to have more impact, I have to get into the game of finding people who want and need my help. If I want more joy, I have to get into the game of looking for the good, exploring the lessons, being grateful, and doing things that may be uncomfortable. If I want more meaning, I have to get into the game of living a life strongly aligned with my values of honesty, courage, kindness, and emotional maturity. If I want more opportunities, I have to get into the game of making them happen. If I want more health, I have to get into the game of eating better, laughing more, exercising cleverly, and managing my emotions. If I want more money, I have to get into the game of adding more value. If I want more love, I have to get into the game of giving more love.
What do you want more of in 2024? Write it down. Put it up on your wall, and if you are courageous enough, share it with someone. As you look at what you want more of, all you need to do is simply get into the game. Looking at it, thinking about it, meditating on it, praying over it, and visualising it, will keep you as a spectator. In addition to all of those things you actually need to do something on a daily basis. You know what you need to do, don’t you?
In my podcast this week with Dr Allan Meyer, called Creating more in 2024, we discuss exactly what I have spoken about. Allan had a challenging year in 2023, but is using it to create more for himself, his wife, and many other people in 2024. If you need help with this, please reach out to me. I would encourage you to read or re-read my book T.E.A.R.S. of Joy, as it will help you get into the game. If you want to attend a session to help you, Creating More in 2024, is a virtual event I am running later in January.
Life is a wonderful place of adventure, opportunity, and abundance. Those who are experiencing the great things that are available have lifted themselves off the spectator bench and have actually started participating in life. With all of my heart, I urge you to get into the game so you can create more in 2024.
by admin | 29 Dec, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
The thought of getting up at 5am to exercise is rarely a pleasant one. The time in preparation to make that phone call when rejection is probable is often one of fear. The lead up to the conversation you know you need to have can be terrifying. The period before the audition, presentation, performance, or interview is always uncomfortable, as the fear of failure is high. We have all experienced this, however, my question is this; how do you feel in the moment after the discomfort?
Christmas Day should be a time of joy, peace, happiness, and togetherness. So, why was I so terrified as I drove to have lunch with my family? I will tell you why. There was a moment of discomfort coming, and I was uncertain and a little bit fearful of the response I would get. However, it was important for me to make a statement to my family as to where I am at in the spiritual area of my life.
I became a born-again Christian about 6 or 7 years ago. It was a decision I made when my life was in crisis, and I was looking for answers. A great mentor and trusted friend suggested that I explore Christianity, and if it had been any other person, I would have probably disregarded it. I am grateful every day that I listened to her and followed through, as my walk with God has changed my life for the better in so many ways.
I have always felt like I am a bit of a black sheep in my family. I believe it is because I have chosen not to follow a mainstream path in different areas. As much as I love them, I have got used to the fact that rarely do I ever get asked about certain things. I think they knew I was a Christian; I don’t talk about it with them a lot, because of the fear I have about how they may respond. However, something happened to me in the Christmas morning service a few days ago. God spoke to me and said, “It is time Andrew”.
So, as I was leaving church and heading to lunch, I knew it was time, but I was ‘pooping my pants’ a little! I was rehearsing in my mind what I would say, and I was mulling over the different responses I may get. You know what it’s like, our mind often goes to the worst-case scenario. Well, my mind did, and I realised that, no matter what, I would survive, so, the decision was made. I arrived at my sister’s home, and the normal banter and light conversation happened, and just as we were about to sit down to eat, I knew it was time. I am not ashamed to say, I was scared. I asked for everyone’s attention. They all looked at me as if to say, ‘Oh no, what is he going to say?!’
I simply said, in a nervous voice, and certainly not as polished as I had rehearsed it in my mind, “Since the foundational meaning of Christmas is the birth of Christ, and since this is an important part of my life now, would anyone object if I prayed for us?” There was no objection, for which I was relieved and grateful, so I went on and prayed a prayer of thanks for God, for Jesus, for my family, and a blessing for the people less fortunate. After it was over, we sat down, ate lunch, and had a nice time. There were several hours of fear and uncertainty in the build up to this moment of discomfort, but as soon as it was over, I felt relieved, proud of myself, and very glad I did it.
Isn’t this the truth with any uncomfortable situation? Don’t we build things up in our head, far worse than they will ever be, and then in the moment after the discomfort we are always glad we did it. I am always proud of myself for getting up at 5am and exercising. I am always feeling more confident after I make the phone call. I am always feeling stronger after having the conversation. I am always excited for the next adventure, after the one I have just had. The point is simple, don’t let fear, doubt, or discomfort stop you, because you know you will always feel amazing in the moment after the discomfort.
In my podcast this week with Kate Martin called Push through discomfort, we discuss the amazing gifts that will come from getting through to the moment after discomfort. The movie We Bought a Zoo was on TV the other night. My favourite line in the movie, spoken by character Benjamin Mee to his teenage son, is, “All you need is 20 seconds of insane courage, just 20 seconds of embarrassing bravery and, I promise, something great will always come of it”. No truer statement has been made. Use that 20 second of insane courage to get you through to the moment after discomfort. You will be so glad you did.
