When you hear the word ‘adversity,’ what does image does it create in your mind? What about the words, ‘challenge,’ ‘problem,’ ‘issue,’ ‘uncertainty’ or ‘obstacle’? I don’t know about you, but the pictures that appear in my mind, when I hear those words, are not pleasant at all! Okay, what about when you think of the word ‘adventure,’ what image appears in your mind then? For me, it’s fun, exciting, exhilarating and enjoyable.
What I am going to suggest, in this week’s blog, is that we re-brand some of the situations and circumstances in our life to ‘adventure.’ Why? Because, in my mind, that’s what life actually is, one ongoing and exciting adventure. When we look at our circumstances as problems, challenges or obstacles, it can overwhelm us, create anxiety and zap our energy. Right? When we look at each day, and each situation as an adventure, it will inspire and energise us. Well, that’s my opinion anyway.
This has been ever further reinforced to me, this week, after a conversation with the inspiring Peter Chambers on my podcast called ‘The purpose in adversity.’ Just over 12 months ago, Peter was diagnosed with the degenerative and incurable Motor Neurone Disease, which has significantly affected the use of his arms, and hence his life. What inspires me most about Peter is that, despite his situation, he loves his life. Why? Because this situation and now the chance to be an advocate for MND and have a positive impact on the lives of many people, has given him purpose. He totally sees this situation, and his life, as an adventure, with wonderful opportunities appearing on a daily basis.
The question, I hear you asking is, how, when some tough things happen to us all, can we see each of them as an adventure? That’s an awesome question, and the answer is simple… it’s a choice. It’s all in the perspective with which we choose to look at things. Yes, I said choose. You and I have the choice as to how we see each situation or circumstance. Now, you may argue with me, at this point, and say that you have no choice when you are struck by what seems to be an undesirable situation. I would then ask you to consider, if many people are faced with the same situation, how come each has a different response and create a different outcome?
For example, the whole world has been faced with COVID, yet there have been a myriad of different responses and different outcomes for many people. For me, after a short period of fear and uncertainty, I have seen the whole COVID situation, and whatever will happen moving forward, as a wonderful adventure. During this adventure, I have recreated my business, found a global audience, am having a greater impact, have launched a podcast, have improved myself as a person, am having more fun and have an optimistic view of my future life.
You choose adventure by focussing on the most amazing and joyful outcome that will come as a result of facing each situation with positive action, expectancy and desire to make it great. Moving through a financial challenge is a wonderful adventure as you create financial strength and stability. Overcoming a health challenge, is an exciting adventure as you transform yourself to optimal wellbeing and enjoy the wonderful things that come with it. Dealing with a relationship struggle is an incredible adventure as you move towards a beautiful connection. Every time you deal with something that stretches you, it is an adventure, because it opens the door for you to learn, improve and then bless other lives as a result.
So, can you see, with the right mindset, it is all an adventure? Please don’t get me wrong here, I am not minimising anything you are dealing with. In my life so far, I have been publicly and humiliatingly sacked from my position as a professional athlete, I have lost my mother to cancer and experienced three divorces. I know what it means to deal with ‘stuff,’ but I choose to see every situation as an adventure, because I know in my heart, by the way I look at it and deal with it, my life will be better on the other side. I wish for you, as you go about living the best life you can possibly live, that you will believe and live by the mantra… it is all an adventure!
We live in an amazing world of possibility and potential. We get around that world in the most miraculous body that can do things more incredible than most of us can possibly comprehend. We have a mind so elaborate and expansive that it can imagine and help us create any outcome we choose to focus and act on. With that all being the case, why is it that most of us fail to live the amazing life that is available to us? The answer is absorption!
What does that mean? I hear you asking. That is a great question. This blog is inspired by the wonderful Dr Delia McCabe, nutritional neuroscientist, who I spoke to on my latest podcast, ‘Bowels to brains.’ We were talking about gut health and she referred to the common saying, ‘we are what we eat.’ She went on to say that, in fact, we are not what we eat, we are what we eat and absorb. What she was saying is, just because we may be eating healthy foods, if the vital nutrients are not absorbed into the gut, the cells and the brain, then we will get no benefit from those foods.
This got me thinking about how this concept relates to, not just nutrient absorption, but absorption of other vital things in our life. To find out how to gain maximum absorption from the nutrients you consume, you will have to listen to the podcast, as this blog is focussed in other areas. I am specifically talking about the absorption of ideas, beliefs, potential and love. If I refer back to the question I posed in the opening paragraph; why do most of us fail to live the amazing life that is available to us? In my mind, the answer is that we don’t absorb the ideas, the belief, the potential or the love that is available to us to help propel us to a life of abundance.
This is very true for me. I love my life, but I still feel I am experiencing far less than I could if was absorbing more of life’s key nutrients for success. I get told so often how capable I am and how much other people believe in me, but if that belief doesn’t absorb into my mind and my psyche, then I will never achieve my potential. If I get told how much I am loved, but that love from others doesn’t penetrate the walls I have put up around myself, then I can never enjoy the joy that is available for me. If I listen to and read amazing information to help me, but I am distracted when I am listening or reading, the wonderful insight, information and answers will not seep into my brain to help me move on to great health, happiness and success in my life. I hope this is making sense to you.
I have experienced all of these absorption issues at some stage in my life. I am happy to say, my absorption is improving, even though I still have a way to go. What about you? It is my greatest desire that with all the public speaking I do, interviews I have, books and blogs I write and podcasts I record, that I can help people believe more in themselves and go on to live their best life. But it’s not about the information I provide, it’s about how much of that information is absorbed and acted upon that counts. For me to achieve more in my life, I need to allow the belief to sink into my heart and mind and then, move to take the required action I need to take. The same applies to you.
The question then is simple, how do we increase and maximise the absorption of ideas, beliefs, potential and love into our lives to allow us to move us towards our best life? The answer has two important steps. The first is that we need to break down the barriers and walls that are preventing the absorption in the first place. The second is, when we are open to receive and absorb, we must dial up the input of positive ideas, beliefs, potential and love into our lives.
We break down barriers and increase absorption capability by becoming acutely aware of limiting and discouraging thoughts, beliefs and words that we choose on a regular basis and start to replace them with empowering and encouraging thoughts, beliefs and words. When we catch ourselves saying or thinking ‘I can’t,’ we must immediately discard that and replace it with, ‘I can!’ When we identify the words, ‘I procrastinate,’ we need to instantaneously replace them with, ‘I take immediate and positive action.’ Does this make sense?
Once we have broken down some barriers and opened the door to allow the ‘right stuff’ to filter in, then we need to saturate our thinking with that ‘right stuff.’ The ‘right stuff’ comes through the people you associate with, the books you read and the things you choose to watch and listen to. There is so much amazing information and inspiration in the world and it’s waiting and readily available for you to utilise to create total abundance in your life. Everything you need to live the most amazing life of health, happiness and success is out there waiting for you, and all you need to do is fertilise the ground, allow it to sink in and then, because you believe in yourself, take powerful and positive action. Trust me when I say, absorption is the key.
It’s been a reflective week. My mother, who passed away in 2004, would have celebrated her 86th birthday this week just gone by. As I reflected on the journey she went on, the devastation of losing her when she was just 69, and now the impact that together she and I are having on many, many lives, I can see how very different things can be, when we dig below the surface.
I have the day that my mother died firmly entrenched in my mind and my heart. That day was the most heart-breaking and traumatic day of my life. Yet upon reflection, and under the surface of the tragedy, there were so many blessings that have sprouted since. I will share this in a shortened version, the full account can be found in the book I wrote about my amazing mother, called Dance Until it Rains.
On this particular day in December 2004, my mother had been on a fifteen plus year journey with cancer and beaten just about every medical odd to have survived and thrived for so long. I had planned a weekend away, but was on the verge of cancelling it and staying by her side. However, on the encouragement of my dad and her doctor that she was stable, I decided to go. Well, it didn’t last long because at 5pm on that Friday I got a call from my dad saying that she had taken a turn for the worse and I should get back to Melbourne. Panic set in!
I was in Sydney. I rushed to the airport, I bought a ticket and waited for my flight, which after a lengthy delay was cancelled. I was frantic and clearly desperate as flight crew managed to get me on the next flight home. As I sat on that flight, in mid-air, I got this immediate and painful sinking feeling in my gut, and I just knew I had missed her. I knew she was gone. As the plane landed, I turned on my phone and a message from my father confirmed my worst fears, that she had died whilst I was in the air.
It’s hard to describe how I was feeling at that time. Numb initially, then anger with myself for going away, and then finally desperation to get to the hospital to be with my family and see her for the last time. I decided to save time by going and getting my car first and then coming back to get my luggage off the carousel. The plan was going perfectly until I came out, after getting my luggage, to find I was being written an infringement, by a humourless parking officer, for stopping in a bus zone. I pleaded with him, and he ignored me, so, I said, ‘Do what you have to do, I’m out of here.’ I drove off leaving a stunned parking officer, with a half-written parking infringement in my wake.
When I finally got to the hospital, it was around midnight and heading into Saturday morning. I sat with my mother for about an hour, holding her hand, sobbing and telling her how much I love her and how sorry I was for not being with her. I am not ashamed to tell you, I was devastated and traumatised by this event for many months, even years. In fact, it wasn’t until I was writing Dance Until it Rains, that I allowed myself to see the treasure that was buried beneath the surface of that tragedy.
The first insight I got, as I was writing and healing, was that maybe my being away when she passed was actually a blessing. I think she held on longer than she would’ve liked, because she didn’t want me, or us, to be in pain, and I believe my being away allowed her to give herself permission to go. I had to dig below the surface to see and feel that. The second amazing blessing, since her passing, is the loving and joyful relationship I have been able to develop with my father. Then, the greatest treasure I found below the surface was discovered after Dance Until it Rains was published in 2011. Since that time, my beautiful mother and I have been together every single day as we share the message of hope, courage, love and purpose. She has left an impressive legacy and I am grateful that I get the opportunity to help her take it to the world. Since she has passed, I couldn’t even begin to imagine how many lives have been touched by her life, her story and her inspiration. Wow, what a privilege. For a long time, it certainly didn’t seem like any positives would come from her passing, and it wasn’t until I started digging below the surface that the magic appeared.
In my podcast this week, called ‘The hidden benefits,’ with Natalie Matthews, we discuss the wonderful opportunities that come hidden in every challenge, problem or adversity, if you just dig a little. Natalie has struggled with separation from her family in the UK due to COVID and talks openly about her struggles, and about the wonderful benefits that she has discovered as a result. It is my greatest desire that from reading this blog and listening to the podcast, you will also dig to find the hidden benefits that lie just below the surface of every single challenge, problem or adversity.
No matter what you are currently facing in your life, I want to encourage you scratch below the surface. Underneath your relationship issues you will find opportunities to create wonderful connections. Below your financial woes you will discover lessons to help you create stability. Beneath your health challenges, there is wisdom, inspiration and advantages that will help you regain your health and then claim optimal wellbeing. The answers and opportunities are there for you, just under the surface, and all you have to do is start digging. You will be amazed, delighted and excited by what you find when you dig below the surface.
It’s been a very interesting week for me. Certainly not the one I expected when I was sitting writing my blog last week. All I knew is that I was feeling more anxiety than normal and was experiencing some physical signs that were concerning me. What I didn’t realise, just a week ago, was that the anxiety and physical symptoms were simply ways my body was trying to tell me that it was time to reset.
I have mentioned before that I have been prone to anxiety in my life. It was something I believe I inherited from my mother when I was a small child as I observed and felt her own anxiety. For me that anxiety had all but disappeared over recent years as I had become more comfortable with who I was, what I was doing and my place in the world. In fact, loving my life was how I would describe my situation. So, this anxiety and these low-level headaches that began, surprised and then started to concern me.
I wasn’t sure where the anxiety was coming from and, as I mentioned, the headaches started to concern me, which then just continued to fuel my anxiety. This is how it works folks, and I can give you this information firsthand. It all came to a head through a couple of very uncomfortable conversations with some very important people in my life about my style of leadership and basic communication characteristics. These conversations, whilst hard to hear, were exactly what I needed, because they immediately shone the light on a business area of my life that I then knew was the source of my anxiety.
As a result, I made a time to talk to my mentors and I realised that, right now, even after many years of experience, I need to reset, and go back to the basics. You see, before this penny-drop moment, I was working hard but spinning my wheels. Up until that time, I was not enjoying what I was doing and feeling like I would never get to where I wanted to be. It was the events of this week that have helped me clean the slate, reset, and start again with a fresh approach, clear vision and a willingness to accept help.
It’s been a tumultuous week in some ways and a transformational one in others. I am happy to say that it has helped me enormously and now I hope I can help you. What I realised is that the achievement of any aspiration is not possible if you are not aware of where you currently are in relevant areas of life. Here is a simple example. What if you had the exact address of a destination you wanted to visit, but had no idea of where you currently were, would you get there? Here is the answer, no way! Not until you can precisely determine where you are, can you move towards where you want to be.
This is so true for me. I was working away at a part of my business, with a goal in mind, but no real concept of my current status. That’s why I needed to gain that awareness and then reset. My question, as always, is does this apply to you in any area of your life? Are you spinning your wheels, treading water or feeling stuck in any way? If so, there is a two-step process here. First, you need to be honest about where you are currently at. Second, you need to simplify, reset and go back to the basics.
Are you getting no traction with your wellness goals? Can you be honest about where you are at, and hit reset? Are you struggling with conflict? Are you willing to take responsibility for your role and then hit reset? Is your career stagnating? Are you ready to discover why, and then hit reset? The truth is this, if you are stagnating, stuck, frustrated or anxious, I would have to say, you are probably not aware of or being honest about where you are currently at. The moment you can reflect and discover your current location, you can move from just surviving to thriving.
In my podcast this week, I invented a new word, ‘thrival.’ The podcast is called, ‘Survival to thrival,’ and I talk with the amazing Tracey Jewel. She found herself at rock bottom in her life, just a few short years ago, and after some time to stop, reflect and then hit reset, she began to thrive in life. It’s a great conversation and one I wholeheartedly encourage you to listen to, particularly if you are feeling stuck in any area of your life. Don’t waste any more time feeling anxious, unwell or stuck. Get real and honest with yourself, hit reset and watch what happens.
We often hear about the comfort-zone, but the reality is that the comfort-zone, for many people, is not comfortable at all. In fact, author and speaker Deborah Stathis, says it this way, “Our comfort-zone usually isn’t even comfortable, it’s just familiar. That which is familiar, isn’t necessarily the best thing for us!” It is so true, what we allow to become familiar, often is not comfortable at all, or the best thing for us. So, are you ready to go from familiar to fabulous?
You may have heard the story of the man sitting on the park bench with his dog sitting next to him. Even though the dog was quietly whimpering away, it didn’t seem to bother the owner. A passer-by who noticed the whimpering dog, stopped and asked the owner, ‘Do you know your dog is whimpering?’ The owner answered, ‘Yes, she’s been doing it all morning.’ The passer-by then asked, ‘What is wrong with her?’ The owner explained, ‘She is sitting on a sharp stone.’ With a confused look, the passer-by then asked, ‘Why doesn’t she get off the stone?’ The owner said, ‘It doesn’t hurt enough!’
The stone was not comfortable for the dog, hence the whimpering, but it became familiar enough to just settle for. Does it sound crazy that, as easy as it would be for the dog to get off the stone, it just sits, stays and whimpers? It does sound ridiculous, doesn’t it? I would, however, ask you to think about something in your life, right now, that may be familiar to you, that you may even complain about, but you have settled in and do nothing to change. Ouch! Are you familiar in a job, that no longer stimulates you, so you whimper about it, when you just need to get up and go find another job? Are you familiar in your financial struggles, often moan about, but don’t get up and look for the myriad of solutions that are out there? Maybe you’re familiar with your lack of energy and ailing health, complain about it, but don’t just get up and start moving towards more energy and better health.
Have I annoyed, agitated or angered you? If so, hopefully to the point of moving you from what is familiarly uncomfortable and starting the process of creating fabulous. In my podcast this week called, ‘An amazing life lies beyond comfort,’ I speak with Australian actor and celebrity, Tim Robards. He has an amazing story of how he transitioned from an Exercise Physiology and Chiropractic career to become a successful actor. He knew the wellness industry intimately and it was familiar to him, but he had a burn inside of him to create a fabulous acting career. He said multiple times in the podcast, he often did things that were unfamiliar, and that terrified him, but every time they led to something great. He never settled for familiar, he wanted fabulous and so he went for it.
Familiar to me was personal training. I had done it for fifteen years and I could do it easily, but it got to the point where it no longer stimulated me, in fact, I began to resent it. I was in my late 30’s and got horrifyingly close to accepting that as my life, just putting up with it yet complaining about it every day. Thank God, I didn’t. I was working too many hours, I was financially unstable and I was always tired, and it was definitely not how I wanted to be living. Whilst it was very familiar, it was also very uncomfortable, So, I asked myself, ‘Andrew, how do you want to live?’ As soon as I asked myself that question, I was clear that I wanted to be healthy, have time and choice, be financially secure, have beautiful relationships, make a difference in the world and be joyfully happy.
Personal training was never going to help me achieve that, so, at that moment in my life, I knew it was time to get off the sharp painful stone. That’s when the most unfamiliar and uncomfortable idea came into my head… to write a book. I had a burning desire to change my life, and I could see an answer, I just had no idea how to do it. So, I got off the stone and started moving, and amazingly, as unfamiliar as it was, the path opened up for me and, I am grateful to say, that I went from familiar to fabulous in a very short period of time. The hardest part was making the decision and taking the first step.
If you are ready to stop whimpering about the stone you are sitting on, then this message is for you. Get a strong vision for the ‘fabulous’ you want to achieve and move it quickly from your head into your heart and then into your gut. Once it’s burning in your gut as a non-negotiable, you are ready to make the decision and take the first step. From that point, moving from familiar to fabulous is a done deal. You deserve fabulous, but it’s not just going to fall in your lap, you will need to get out of the familiar zone and make it happen. You can do it and you will be so glad you did.
Have you ever had a magical moment in your life? I’m sure you have. Would you like to have more of them? I’m sure you would. Would you like to know how to create magical moments on a regular basis? Of course you would! Are you sick of me asking obvious and rhetorical questions? Okay, I’ll stop. The key to creating magical moments is to understand that magic isn’t actually required, but living in the common zone of two simple concepts is the key.
Let me illustrate this with my own personal experience. Over the last twelve months there have been many things happening that are out of our control, and I definitely don’t feel the need to list them here, as I’m sure you know exactly what I am talking about. For me, as a speaker, where a large percentage of my income came through standing in front of groups of teenagers in schools, or adults in workplaces, and sharing my ideas, within a heartbeat, and through no fault of my own, all those bookings and that income were ripped from me. I remember, at the time, sliding down the wall in a state of fear and anxiety and laying on the floor in a foetal position for a short time.
In that helpless moment, I was very firmly focused on what I could not control and what I did not want. After a short period of thumb-sucking, dummy-spitting and tantrum-throwing I got up and shifted my focus. I started to think about what was most important and what most mattered to me, and then I started to think about what I could actually control and then… BOOM! I got clear, I got excited and I got into action. Within a very short period of time, I was delivering multiple online presentations to schools, companies and I had more work than before lockdown began. I was doing more of what I loved, I was living more of my purpose, which is to create a wave of wellness around the world and help people live their best lives.
It all happened in the magic zone. It was there where I started focusing on what mattered to me the most and what I was in control of. The second I found myself in that zone, the magic happened for me. This realisation for me, helped me to understand and believe that no circumstances can ever affect the life I live, only I can do that. Because, whilst there are many circumstances out of our control, there are just as many, if not more things, that are in our control. When these things are applied to what matters to you most, that’s where the magic happens.
So, my question to you again is are you ready for more magic moments in your life? If you answered yes, then I am excited for you. I encourage you to think of a situation or area in your life where you would like to experience that magic. Got one? Okay, great. Now, either think about or, even better, write down what about creating this change matters to you. Why is it important? Now, either think about or write down all the things that you are in control of. As you look at both lists, can you see the things that you can control will contribute to what matters to you most? If so, that is where you want to be, because that is where the magic happens.
In my podcast this week, called, ‘Control the controllables,’ I speak with world class diver Laura Hingston about her journey and aspiration to be selected in the World Cup and Olympic teams in Tokyo this year. She told the story about an outdoor training session when she totally misjudged the dive and landing flat on her back. It was a ‘splat’ as she described it! She hurt her back, her ribs and even ripped her skin open, yet despite pain, fear and suggestions that she should retire for the day, five minutes later she was back on the 10m platform to dive again. Why? It was important to her that she got the dive right, and she was in total control of the choice to get up and go again and do it on that day, or risk fear that would grip her if she left that day with the ‘splat’ vision in her mind. As she climbed back up to the top of the platform, she didn’t feel the pain, because she placed herself in the zone where magic happens. She re-dived and nailed it!
I’m not suggesting you need to do a triple twinky off a 10m platform, but I want to encourage you this week to laser your focus on the intersection of what is most important to you and what you are in control of. That, my friend, is where the magic happens.
