by admin | 27 Dec, 2024 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
As I publish this blog, it is just two days before 2024 ends and 2025 begins. I hope you have had fabulous festivities at this time of the year, no matter how you celebrate. A new year brings a blank canvas, a fresh start, and the possibility of great things to appear for you. Just don’t forget to honour the year that is leaving. I want to encourage you, at this time, to implement the three L’s.
As I was walking out onto the fabulous new St Kilda Pier, recently completed after many years of construction, it was a stunning day. The sun was shining, the sky was blue, and the view of the water, the yachts, and the city skyline in the background was mesmerising. I walked past a man sitting on a bench, enjoying the beautiful day and the wonderful view. Maybe he was even reflecting on the three L’s.
So, what are the three L’s? The three L’s is the process to take the nuggets from 2024 and allow them to help you be more alive in 2025. The first L is ‘Learn’, the second L is ‘Let go’, and the third L is ‘Launch’. It is a tragedy that so many people say, I can’t wait for this year to be over, next year will be better. My question is, will it? How will it be better? Why will it be better? What does better look like? Simply waiting for the year to end and then hoping, by some miracle, the new year will be better is a little like hoping you will wake up tomorrow with a six pack, a blissful relationship, and a million dollars in the bank, when today you are overweight, alone, and broke.
If this is how you normally approach a new year, then I want to encourage you to try something that may actually increase your chances of having those things you want, without hoping for a genie in a bottle to grant you three wishes. You don’t need three wishes, you just need the three L’s. You need to learn from 2024, you need to let go of the things that are not serving you, and you need to launch into 2025 with a plan, and a commitment to follow that plan and do whatever you need to do to make it a year you will be proud of.
Learn. There is a wonderful saying that, things don’t happen to you, they happen for you. As you reflect on 2024, there may be things that happened, things you did, or things you didn’t do, that cause pain for you to think about. If, however, you truly believed that things happen for you, then there is something to learn from each and every experience you can use, and then make 2025 a better year. Find your spot, whether that is on a bench looking at the view, or in your home, to write down everything that will provide an opportunity to learn from.
Yes, it may be uncomfortable, but it will also be transformational. Write down all of the adverse situations, poor choices, mistakes, and conflicts. Write down all of the great things, the achievements, and the fabulous interactions. Then reflect on what you can learn from each of them. What can you learn from the poor choices to ensure you don’t repeat them? What can you learn from the great things, so they happen again and again? Let me tell you, I have a long list of things I am committed to learning from in 2024. How about you?
Let Go. As uncomfortable as the reflecting and learning stage is, I believe the letting go phase can be even more challenging. My biggest challenge in life is that I love hanging onto my flaws, my faults, my poor choices, and beating myself up for far too long. It does no good, and it will prevent any change in 2025, unless you and I choose to let go of all the stuff that is not serving us. I know this from painful experience. People suggest that letting go is a hard thing to do. If that is the case, imagine you have just picked up a hot cup of coffee and your fingers are now burning. What would you do? Would you keep holding it as your fingers start to blister with heat and pain, or would you put it on the table and let it go? It’s an easy thing to do, right? So, why don’t you do the same with other things that you are hanging onto that are burning your heart?
Launch. I will keep this one brief. If you have done the first two steps, you will find this one easier. Think about how you want things to be and write it down. Find a mentor, if you need to, and create an action plan. Then, simply launch into a realistic and consistent action process, with regular review and reflection times, to make 2025 your best year yet.
In my amazing podcast this week with Van Marinos, called Start with exercise, we discuss how many challenges and new beginnings can be much easier to manage when we start moving our bodies. Maybe that is your first step in 2025. As we see out 2024, please don’t waste it. It is full of gems that are incredibly valuable if you can learn from them, let go what needs to be let go of, and launch into 2025 with joy and clarity. Apply the three L’s today.
by admin | 14 Dec, 2024 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
What stops most people from really exploring their potential, pursuing possibility, and fulfilling their destiny? It is not what most think it is. It is not lack of talent, ability, or intellect. It is not challenging circumstances or adverse situations. It is not other people’s opinions. It is not bad luck or poor timing. It is not the weather or any other external influence. It is 100% our thinking. Yes, I hate that also as it makes me 100% responsible. The biggest excuse we have allowed ourselves to start using these days, to effectively stop us in our tracks, is the catchy, but totally irrelevant and inaccurate ‘Imposter Syndrome’. So, let’s examine it, shall we?
I have used the term ‘Imposter Syndrome’ about myself, without really understanding what it means. As you know – or will know in about 3 seconds – our language and self-talk, and the words we use will shape and determine the life we live. The late great Skip Ross calls it the principle of command and states, everything you speak out of your mouth will happen, so be careful what you say. Gilbert Enoka, mental skills coach for the All-Blacks, says, you will never rise above the opinion you have of yourself. These are two men with incredible success, track record, and wisdom. I believe them. That being the case, we need to be very careful what words we choose.
If we look at a definition of ‘Imposter syndrome’, it is a feeling of inadequacy and self-doubt despite one’s achievements and success. However, when we look at the definition of the word ‘imposter’ we get; a person who pretends to be someone else in order to deceive others. I think we can all agree there is a large discrepancy between these two definitions which contain the same word.
I know of many times in my life where I would have described myself as having imposter syndrome. Starting out as a professional footballer, and many times through that seven-year journey, being a business owner, becoming an author, and many other times in my life. However, looking at the definition of imposter, I never deliberately pretended to be someone else to deceive others. I did feel inadequate, and I did doubt myself and my abilities because I had another type of syndrome. It’s called ‘Human Being Syndrome’.
Guess who else has ‘Human Being Syndrome’? Every single human being that is upright and looking down at the grass. If you doubt yourself, you are not an imposter, you are a human, so celebrate. If you feel inadequate at times, you are not deceitful, you are a human being, so rejoice. If you have negative self-talk at times, you are not broken, you are a human being, so jump for joy. Isn’t that great news? Every human being’s adventure is simply to validate and navigate these feelings and find ways to push past them anyway.
So, the first step on this journey is to stop referring to what you have as ‘imposter syndrome’, because in most cases you are not pretending, and you are not deceiving. Then replace it with the more accurate, and compassionate, ‘human being syndrome’. The second step is to get excited when you feel ‘human being syndrome’ starts to take effect. That means you may start to feel anxiety, fear, doubt, or inadequacy. Yes, I did say get excited. Why? Because it means you are on the verge of a breakthrough, if you simply have the courage to take the next step with faith.
These feelings indicate you are at the edge of your comfort zone, otherwise there would be no doubt or fear. So, my friend, take the step outside of your comfort zone, and you will see it is not so scary. At the same time, you will be expanding your comfort zone to include in it more amazing things for yourself and your life. In my podcast this week called Chocolate bar life, I speak with the fabulous Danielle Colley. We discuss many things, but one key point is about embracing who you are and taking simple steps every day to enhance your human experience.
I am in the process of writing a book called The Redefinition Effect, and I feel like ‘Imposter Syndrome’ is a term that definitely needs re-definition and re-interpretation. As we examine the term, it is actually a very damaging one as it suggests that if we feel doubt, fear, anxiety, and inadequacy, we are pretending and deceiving. We have determined that, in fact, it means we are human. So, enjoy your life, embrace the ‘human being syndrome’ and take the step boldly across your comfort zone and into your fabulous zone.
by admin | 7 Dec, 2024 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
Are you ready for the best advice I ever got to simplify, focus, and move my life forward in the quickest and most effective way? I am hearing a big ‘YES’. We live in a world that is busy, noisy, and distracting. So many options, so many opinions, and so many things that can keep us stuck in a place of confusion and overwhelm. When I was weighing up my options, wondering the best path, negotiating all the choices available to me, the best advice I ever got was to make the decision once.
Let me give you a little of my African animal knowledge as it will help illustrate my point. The big cats are hunting machines and rely on their ability to focus and remove distractions to catch prey and survive. No amount of speed, agility, and strength can help them if they don’t make a decision just once. What do I mean? You may believe that a big cat approaching a herd of hundreds of deer has a smorgasbord of options, and it does. However, it could miss out altogether without one clear decision. Once the deer are aware there is danger, they will all start running and moving in different directions. They do this to confuse the hunter.
If the big cat doesn’t decide on just one deer, it will be distracted by all of the movement and may miss out altogether. So, it must fix its eyes and attention on just one deer and decide, just once, it is the target. If it picks one, and then sees another one closer and changes target, it will miss out. When it focuses and decides on just one, it is no longer distracted by all the other movement and will, in most cases, catch its prey. All it had to do is make the decision once.
So, how does this apply to us? I don’t know about you, but I have spent too much of my life double-minded and second-guessing myself and my choices. The moment I decided, just once, that I would commit to a course of action, not only did it simplify my life, remove the noise, but things started changing for the better. Until we make that decision, life will always be complicated, and we will stay stuck.
Have you ever wanted to start a fitness regime and thought that getting out of bed and going for a walk or run each morning would help? If you haven’t committed to that decision just once, you will wake up each morning trying to decide whether you will get up or not. In most cases, if like most people, you will hit ‘snooze’ and roll over and go back to sleep. If you are anything like me, I rarely feel like getting up in the morning to exercise, but I do it anyway. Why? Because I decided just once that I would do it every day. I infrequently feel like reading before bed, making calls for prospective business, or writing each day. Yet, I do these things every day. Because I made the decision just once that I would.
It is so freeing not to have to negotiate and decide each time if I am going to do these things or not. Making the decision once on a course of behaviour has led me to amazing routines and wonderful blessings in my life and will do the same for you if you decide just once. So, what is it for you? Is it exercise? Is it eating breakfast? Is it listening to an audio a day? Is it scheduled time with your children? Is it meeting a new person each day? Is it complimenting 5 people per day? Is it writing for 10 mins per day? Is it meditating each day? What is it you can decide just once that you will do every day. Pick one thing, decide once, and watch how your life seems easier and gets better.
In my podcast this week called Embody your potential, I speak with Emily Chidiac. After a childhood of abuse, trauma and self-loathing, Emily finally made the decision, just once, that she was worthy and would embody the potential she believed she had inside her. The moment she decided, things changed for her in a big way. Her story is powerful and inspiring.
Life is challenging and confusing enough without us making it harder for ourselves. When it comes to things that are most important and will have the greatest impact on the person you are and the life you will live, make the decision just once to do what you know you need to do. Then enjoy the amazing things that appear in your life.
by admin | 23 Nov, 2024 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
I am very passionate about the power of our thoughts and our focus. In fact, I wrote a blog about just that last week. I am on a roll right now, so I will just continue on with the theme this week. A key theme. The sad reality is that so many people are not conscious of their thinking, and as a result very easily spiral into the basement of their mind. Trust me, the basement of your mind is not where you want to be, you want to move and have upper floor thinking.
Do you have a basement? Have you ever been in a basement? In my experience they are dark, smelly, damp, and have some creatures living there I really don’t want to bump into. Sometimes we need to go to the basement to get something or store something, but then we probably want to get out of there as quickly as possible, right? It is much more enjoyable on the upper floors. It is lighter, brighter, and may even have some beautiful views over the surrounding area. Would it be fair to say we would rather be on the upper floors than down in the basement? I think so. The same can be said about our thinking. So often we allow it to slide down into the basement when with a simple and deliberate shift, we can be on the upper floors enjoying the exquisite views.
So, what do I mean? If I am being honest, and I want to be honest with you, I was in the basement with my thinking this morning. I went out last night and had a great time reconnecting with some amazing men but went to bed much later than is normal for me these days. I woke up feeling less than optimal. Despite not much sleep, I got out of bed and completed my exercise regime, feeling less than optimal. Then I thought to myself, Oh, I have to write my blog this morning, and I don’t know if I can be bothered. Basement thinking. Why? I said to myself, I have to write my blog, like it is a chore or something unenjoyable that must be done. Thankfully these days, I am very quick to notice my basement thinking, and I thought, I don’t have to write this at all, I choose to write it, I get to write it, and I am privileged to write it. So, here I am now, on the upper floor, writing my blog with joy and with the greatest desire that you will read it, apply it, and it will help you in your life.
I hope you will be conscious when your thinking slides into the basement, and how simple it is to get it to the upper floors where it can empower you and help you create amazing outcomes in your life. The upper floor analogy is that you see further, see more possibilities, and believe more. So, whenever you discover you are limiting yourself by your thoughts, it’s time to get in the elevator to the upper floors. When you say things like, It’s too hard, I don’t have what it takes, I am a procrastinator, I have tried before and couldn’t do it, I am tired, I am not sure I am up to it, I couldn’t be bothered, it’s too hot, too cold, too wet, too windy, or any other similar thoughts, guess where you are? Yep, firmly stuck in the basement with the stench, the damp, the mould and the rats. That’s why they call it ‘stinking thinking’. When you think this way, guess where you will stay? You don’t need me to answer that, do you?
Getting out of the basement to enjoy the view from the upper floor is actually ridiculously simple. In fact, I described it last week, but I will do it again here with three simple steps. First step is to be aware of your thoughts and identify when you are in the basement. Second step is to ask yourself, is that what I want? When you answer no, and you will, then the third step is to think about what you do want, what you can do, and what you will do. In a heartbeat, you will be out of the basement and enjoying the view from the upper floor.
Let’s say you want to regain your wellbeing, and you are thinking about what it takes, and you slide into the basement by thinking, I don’t think I have what it takes, I don’t have the will power, and will probably not achieve what I want. Yuck, talk about a stench! If you are aware of this thinking, ask yourself, is this what I want? Of course that’s not what you want, so what do you want, what can you do, and what will you do? When you answer, it may be something like this, Of course I have what it takes. I can be optimally healthy as all I have to do is take small steps each day, and I can do that. I will start with a walk each morning and eating a healthy breakfast. I can do that, and I will do that.
Can you see and feel the difference with these two very contrary thought processes? Can you also see how quickly it can change when you are aware of your basement thinking? How could you apply this to other areas of your life to get you to the upper floors? In my podcast this week called, Path to forgiveness, Katharine Giovanni and I discuss the simple choice to forgive, the steps to forgive, and how it can immediately transform your life.
I am so glad I have written this blog when I almost talked myself out of it. Just the process of writing it has helped me think about other areas of my life I need to focus on. Yay. What about you? I hope it has helped you shift your thinking from the basement and moved it up so you can enjoy the benefits of upper floor thinking.
by admin | 15 Nov, 2024 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
So, why are we struggling?
What a depressing question to start a blog with! I know. I promise, it will get way better, so please just bear with me. It is late Spring in Melbourne Australia. In fact, as happens in Melbourne, it has taken two months into Spring before it actually feels like Spring. I woke up early last Saturday morning, as I do, and I was up and exercising. It was chilly but clear. In fact, to use a well and truly under-utilised word, it was splendiferous. As the morning sun rose in the East, the day just kept on getting better. The sun was bright, the sky a deep blue – void of any clouds – the birds were singing, the runners were running, and it was a stunning morning. In fact, a stunning day.
As I was jogging home, in the midst of God’s beauty all around me, I posed this rather depressing question to myself. When we live in such a beautiful world, when we have so much potential within us, and when there is an abundance of possibility all around us, why are so many people struggling? I say we, because I include myself in this question. I feel like, because I am an author, speaker, podcaster, and mentor, I should have my stuff together. It is a tough mental battle for me at times as I struggle in my life. I then pose the question to myself.
Up until recently, I haven’t been able to answer it effectively. As I look at my wonderful and privileged life, I really have no reason to struggle, yet I do. Do you know what I mean? Since I published my first book and started this incredible journey back in 2004, I have been on a quest to find out why we struggle, and then, once enlightened, develop some strategies to help relieve my own struggles and those of others. A big task, I know it, but one I will be working on until the last breath has left my lungs.
The great news is that every day I live, I have more experiences, gain more insights, and find more answers. So, as I am writing this, I would like to offer one word that I believe will explain why we struggle, and how we can shift, in a heartbeat, from struggling to soaring in life. Are you ready?
That word is Focus.
It can’t be circumstances that determine outcomes in life. How can I say that when so many people are experiencing less than desirable circumstances? I can say it because there are people with exactly the same circumstances, responding in many different ways. Some see their circumstances as the worst thing possible and the reason for their misfortune in life. On the other hand, there are people in similar situations who believe those circumstances are a gift to help them become better and help others. So, what is the difference between these two groups of people? Focus!
What we focus on is what we get. If I focus on what I don’t want, don’t like, can’t do, wish I’d done, or don’t have, I will struggle. If I focus on what I do want, do like, can do, will do, and do have, I will soar. It is that simple. Focus is the cause of everything in our lives. It is this same thing that can help you fly to the heights in life as will cause you to spiral into its depths. The only difference is what you focus on. So then, if focus is the answer to what ails us, then the only medication we need to take, when we are struggling in life, is a healthy dose of re-focus.
As I walked into my church last Sunday, I was struggling. I had been asked by my Pastor to lead Holy Communion, and I didn’t want to do it. I felt like a fraud. I was focused on certain things in my life that were not as I would want them, as I compared myself to other people. Comparison is a bad idea, by the way. I didn’t know what to do, or how I would go delivering the Holy Communion message. My focus had taken me down into a struggling situation.
I walked into the church and headed straight for the toilet, for two reasons. Firstly, I needed to do what nature was calling me to do. Secondly, I didn’t feel ready to face anyone at that time. I was feeling flat. As I stood there, doing what I was there to do, I looked at the wall above the toilet, and my focus immediately shifted. There was a bible verse printed there that read:
But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31
In an instant, my focus changed, and guess what else changed? You guessed it, my mood. All of a sudden, I realised I was not alone. In that moment, I felt stronger. In a heartbeat, I knew I had a positive message to share for the Holy Communion. I was ready to go and share God’s word of hope, love, forgiveness, and healing. I walked into the toilet one way and walked out a totally different way. The difference was focus.
My question to you is a simple, what are you focused on that is causing you to struggle, and how can you refocus to help you soar? Rather than focusing on what you can’t do because of your health, why not re-focus on what you can do to improve it. Rather than focusing on what you can’t do because of your financial situation, why not re-focus on what you can do to improve it. Rather than focusing on what is wrong in your relationship, why not re-focus on what you can do to improve it. When you do, you will feel and instantaneous shift in your mood, your actions and the results you will start to see in your life.
In my podcast this week called Free to be me, I speak with the fabulous Shaun Williams. At the age of 50, after 25 years of marriage, and four children, Shaun finally decided to come out and admit he had been gay his whole life. The second he re-focused on his authentic self, is the same moment his life changed forever. This is a powerful conversation I encourage you to listen to. Re-focus today and feel yourself move from struggling to soaring.
by admin | 8 Nov, 2024 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
We are living in trying times at the moment. The interest rates are rising, the cost of living is rising, and the amount of debt is rising, yet incredibly most people’s income is not. So, what do we do? For many people it is spending less, but in doing so, many people trap themselves in a cycle of survival, and never get to a thriving state. I am not just talking about money here. What if you truly understood the difference between cost and value? Would it make a difference?
I am suggesting it will help you to move beyond your circumstances to a state of thriving and abundance. I want to remind you of a very ethereal concept, and that is that every physical manifestation in your life is created from a thought, belief, or perspective you choose to focus on. In other words, the situations you are facing right now have far less to do with knowledge, ability, circumstances, luck, or other people, and far more to do with your thoughts, beliefs and perspectives. If you choose to believe me, and you understand that your outcomes in life are the result of your thoughts, beliefs, and perspectives, not any of the other things you may have been blaming, then you can create change in this instant.
Yes, this instant. How? Shift your thinking, and you immediately start yourself on a different path, to a very different outcome. I often talk about the time I was working seven days per week in two businesses and falling deeper into debt every day. I spiraled to $100,000 in debt. I think we can all agree that is an adverse situation. I was tempted to blame the economy, my lack of ability, the competition, and many other things that would shift the blame away from myself. Short term comfort maybe, but that mindset would have kept me stuck. So, rather than focusing on what I couldn’t do, didn’t have, and didn’t like, I refocused on how I wanted to live. That shift in focus sparked an idea and decision to write my first book. In that instant, my life changed. I immediately felt hope, I saw a path and I understood the difference between cost and value.
In basic terms, cost is what we pay for something (in time, money, attitude, or effort) and value is what it is worth. Far too many people, particularly in times of lack, look only at cost. They go for the cheapest, the thing that takes the least time or effort, and feel like they are making the wisest choice. What if, however, the thing that is the cheapest is the thing that will end up costing you much more down the track? For me, the decision to write a book was going to take time I didn’t really have. It would have made sense for me to just keep working hard on my personal training business. However, had I not invested valuable time in writing my first book, I would not be enjoying the freedom and joy I have today.
My health and wellbeing are important to me, and I hope for you also. Without it, I can’t do any of the things that are important to me to the level I desire. I eat well and have an extensive supplementation regime to ensure my body gets all the nutrients it needs for optimal wellbeing. I use a brand of vitamins and minerals that is at the higher end of the cost scale, but also at the top end of the value scale. They are organically grown, natural, and plant based, versus many products that are synthetically produced and much cheaper. This is an incredible example of cost versus value.
I know for a fact that the nutrients I take are far more readily absorbed into my body because they are in a natural state. In fact, 70-80% of the nutrients will be absorbed. In comparison, many products which are synthetically produced will have far less absorption because the body only allows natural foods into the blood stream. In most cases, only 10-20% of synthetic supplements will be absorbed, the rest will be eliminated and cause damage to the liver on the way out. If we were operating on a cost mindset, we might be tempted to buy the cheaper multi-vitamin from the discount chemist. Let’s say it cost $25 for the cheap and synthetic one, and $50 for the natural and organic one. You may think you are saving money buying the cheap one, right? But are you? What really is the cost of the cheaper product.
Firstly, $25 for 10-20% absorption versus $50 for 70-80% absorption. In other words, you will get 3 to 8 times more absorption by paying just twice as much for high quality and far greater value. Then, think of the cost on the body in removing the synthetic ingredients through the liver. What may be the cost of that, in terms of health recovery, down the track? I will leave that one for you to ponder. It is the same when we operate with a cost rather than value mindset to make decisions about clothes, mechanics, appliances, foods, education, personal development, where we invest our time, and many other things that you just can’t nickel and dime if you want to thrive and live an abundant life.
My podcast this week is called Just as you are with Louise Johnson. Louise is a burnout coach and suffered significant burnout in her job, which put her in hospital, by focusing on cost rather than value. It is a powerful conversation about the value we each have as individuals, irrespective of productivity. As you move forward from here and make decisions which will shape your life, please think carefully about what will help you live the life you desire and be very clear on how cost versus value will affect the life you ultimately experience.
