by admin | 16 Jul, 2022 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
There are so many wonderful gifts we receive in our lifetime. As a child, I was always up at 4am on Christmas morning and my birthday, ready and waiting for the gifts I would receive. Then we start to realise gifts don’t always come as wrapped packages, sometimes they come in the form of friendships with great people, the incredible miracle and beauty of nature, and wonderful opportunities that come our way. There is one gift, I receive every day, that I am most grateful for, and that gift is a choice.
I made a lot of very poor choices after I was sacked from the St Kilda Football Club in 1987. I was a very emotionally underdeveloped 23-year-old when I read in a national newspaper one Saturday morning, two weeks after playing for the club in a Grand Final, that I had been de-listed. That is a nice way of saying sacked, dumped and discarded! As a result of that identity destroying event, my lack of perspective took my thinking down a very destructive path. I made some choices I am not proud of, and even regret a little today, more than 30 years later. As a result of the things I said and did, I destroyed any chance of furthering my professional footballing career, and so I will never know how good I could have been.
At the time, I didn’t believe I could choose a different response. I felt like all choice and control had been ripped out of my hands, and I was left feeling very hurt and very broken. In my mind, my reaction and words were necessary and justified. At that moment, I did have the gift of choice, I just didn’t use it wisely, at all. However, there is one choice I made at the time, I will always be grateful I did. As I thought about my football future, I made a choice that surprised many people, including myself. Most players, when they leave the top level of professional sport, find a club they can play with to earn money. I didn’t. I spend the previous seven years playing for a club that was lacking on-field success, and the pressure and stress that created was enormous. Interestingly, after I had my tantrums and the dust settled, the most overwhelming emotion I experienced was relief. I was relieved to be out of that stressful and toxic workplace.
I made the choice to get away from money and try to find the love of playing the game I had lost over the previous years. I chose to go and play for a club in an amateur competition for one year, and then go back and try my hand at playing for money. Well, that one year turned into twelve, and I finished my career at that same club, and it was the best choice I could have made. I made amazing friends, I experienced great success and achievement, and I learned wonderful lessons.
I could easily reel off a list of poor choices I have made and where they led me, but you would need a box of tissues and be depressed for weeks. So, I won’t. I have also made decisions I am proud of, that, at the time didn’t seem logical, but fit with the vision I had for my life. Deciding to write my first book at a time when I was working two businesses, seven days per week and was in close to $100,000 debt, makes no sense. I had no time, no skills, no qualifications, and no idea what I was doing, yet that choice transformed my life.
The great news is that you have the gift of choice and can use it every day, as often as you like. The first thing to understand and accept is that you are already using it, whether you know it or not. Everything you are currently experiencing is because of choices you are making or have already made. That me be a bitter pill to swallow – trust me, I know – but just know that anger, procrastination, blaming, self-loathing, victim-thinking, and any other destructive behaviour is a choice. You will have heard it and read about it many times; whilst you don’t always choose your circumstances, you always – yes always – choose how you respond to them. The other thing to know is that the life you experience has much less to do with those circumstances, and almost everything to do with how you choose to respond to them. That is the gift of choice.
If you are experiencing undesirable things in your life in any area: health, relationships, money, or career, then celebrate. Why celebrate? Because you created the situation through your own choices, which means you can make different choices and turn your life around, in a heartbeat. Let me tell you, in no uncertain terms, my life changed the moment I decided to write my first book. The circumstances I was facing at the time didn’t impact my future, it was the choice I made as a result of my circumstances that did. Isn’t that a great reason to celebrate? I believe so. What an incredible gift choice really is.
In my podcast with super 76-year-old grandma Lynne Bowman called Brownies for breakfast, she is very clear that optimal wellbeing and living a life of joyful longevity comes down to the choices we get to make every single day. So, my friend, I hope this blog has given you reason to rejoice. No matter what you are facing at the moment, you can make a choice that will change your direction in an instant. You are given the gift of choice every moment of every day, so, please, use it wisely. If you do, anything – and I mean anything – is possible. Enjoy the gift of choice today.
by admin | 9 Jul, 2022 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
The future is fantasy. It is make-believe and fiction. It is a figment of our imagination. The most important thing to understand about the future is that it never comes. Therefore, my question to you this week is, why do you spend so much time thinking about it, worrying about it, and trying to predict it, when it does not exist? There is only one moment in time that is real and, in your control, and that is this very moment.
In his quote from well over 2000 years ago, Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu stated that:
If you are depressed, you are living in the past.
If you are anxious, you are living in the future.
If you are at peace, you are living in the present.
In the second sentence he states that if you are anxious, you are living in the future. Why is that? Simple, we cannot predict our future, it is an unknown for every person, and spending any time trying to work out what will happen in the world, in your country, and in your life is a futile exercise. Anxiety is what happens when we focus on what we don’t know and cannot control.
You may be asking, what about tomorrow? That is the future, right? Yes, it is, however, it doesn’t exist until it turns into today, and then it is no longer the future, but, like right now, the only time you will ever have. In one of the greatest movies ever, Rocky 3, Rocky is struggling mentally and emotionally. His coach, Apollo Creed, is sparring with him and Rocky is not responding. Apollo yells, Damn it Rock. Come on. What’s the matter wit you? Rocky, in a dejected tone responds with, tomorrow, I’ll be better tomorrow. Apollo yells at him, There is no tomorrow! There is no tomorrow! There is no tomorrow!
Apollo knows it, I know it, and I am sure you know it. There is no future, there is only today. I am not saying you don’t need to think about things you are aspiring to have, do, or become in your life. I am not suggesting you don’t create a strong vision for what you want and set goals to move towards its realisation. I am saying, once the vision is clear and the goal is set, focus on the only time you have, and that is now. That is this very day.
I can tell you, I have spent too many years of my life dealing with anxiety. Always wondering and worried about how my life will turn out. Wondering whether I will make the team, be liked, be good enough, make enough money, be loveable, fulfil my potential, and be happy in my life. I spent so much time in the fantasy of the future I forgot to take control of the only time that would determine the path my life would take. Today! Are you relating to what I am saying? Are you fixated on what may happen in this crazy world in the future? Are you worried about whether you will have the life you want? While you focus on these things, you are missing your life as it is happening, right now.
The power you have, right now, to make decisions and take action, will, in this instant, change the course your life is heading. Is that what you want or are you happy with the life that is unfolding for you right now? If so, great, nothing needs to change. If, however, you are living with uncertainty and anxiety, and are sick of it, then think about what you can do now to start the process of change. If you read this and think, I will start tomorrow, I want you to imagine Apollo Creed yelling at you, There is no tomorrow! There is no tomorrow! There is no tomorrow!
If your health is suffering, start today. If you need money, begin now. If your relationship needs attention, get into action in this moment. If your career is ailing, your business is stagnating, your book is stuck, you joy is on hold, then start now to take your life in the direction you want it. It is up to you. No-one else is responsible or at fault. Everything you will experience in your life moving forward, depends on what you do today, whether you feel like or not.
In my podcast this week called, From pain to purpose, I speak with Keagen Hadley. Keagen went through incredible physical and emotional pain as an athlete and was stuck in life waiting for his future to just improve, until he realised nothing would happen unless he took immediate action. The result is a man who is ‘supremely passionate’ (his words) about what he is doing to positively impact lives.
Can I suggest you eliminate the word ‘future’ from your vocabulary? Why? Because the more you focus on it, the more you will stay stuck in the place you are in. The future is not real. It will never happen as it is imaginary and mythical. The only thing that is real is you and the only time you have any control over is now. Please don’t file this blog away as an interesting read. Please take notice and do something you need to do, NOW! I just want you to know, deep in your heart, there is no future, only today.
by admin | 18 Jun, 2022 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
Fear is a lot of things to a lot of people. For some people it is enough to stop them in their tracks from taking a step into the unknown. For others, it is doubt and uncertainty about whether they can achieve what they really want in life. For many it is the anticipation of what other people will think and say about them. Whatever fear maybe for you, for all people it is one thing. Fear is, for everyone, potential knocking at the door. The question is, are you going to open the door and let it in?
I have to admit it up front, I cannot take credit for this amazing and empowering quote. It came out of the mouth of this week’s podcast guest, Demelza Fellowes, in our podcast called Say yes with intention. What an amazing lady! It was a random decision to face her fear of attending netball trials as a teenager, when she hadn’t played the sport for years, that led her, just 18 short months later, to selection in the Australian Diamonds Squad. She went on to play high level netball and represent her country for many years. Wow! That fear she experienced was incredible potential knocking at the door. She opened the door, let it in and achieved something that seems remarkable, but it was her just fulfilling the potential already there. This is an inspiring and empowering podcast I want to encourage you to listen to.
I remember the day clearly. It was soon after I had published my first book, and I was desperate to get out of significant debt and retire from personal training so that I could pursue my dream of being a full-time author, speaker, and mentor. I had just started a side business to create an income that could help me to more quickly be in the financial position to leave my personal training career behind and have the time and money I needed to be able to do what I wanted. A major part of business expansion was contacting prospective partners and sharing the idea with them. I had my list of quality people I knew I would love to partner with, and all I had to do was call them to set up a business appointment.
I cannot tell you how long I sat there, with my phone in my hand, looking at that list, gripped with debilitating dread. What would they say? How would they respond? What would they think of me? What if they said no? What if I stuff it up? What if I forget my lines? These were just some of the fear-based questions that were stampeding through my mind. Just then, as I was about to give in to my fear, I thought about the movie, We bought a zoo. I remembered the scene where Benjamin Mee said to his teenage son, Sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just twenty seconds of embarrassing bravery and, trust me, something great will always come from it.
With that in mind, it took less than twenty seconds to pick up my phone, dial the first number and connect with the first person on my list. The conversation went well. I scheduled the appointment and I realised that my fear was totally mis-directed, and that I would allow the potential I had in my hands, that was knocking at the door, to come in. That phone call was the beginning of something great. Two years later, as a result of that business, I was out of debt and retired from personal training. Since 2006, I have been able to devote my energy full time to my absolute passion, purpose, and potential. It could have been very different, however, if I had succumbed to the terror that was racking my body that day.
You have incredible potential, and I hope you know it. The challenge is that, by definition, potential is: Capable of being but not yet in existence; latent or undeveloped. That means, it is outside of your familiar or comfort zone and chances are there is fear about your capability of releasing that potential. The question I have for you is this: would you rather live with a failed attempt at something or the regret of never giving it a go because you were scared? If you succumb to the fear, the potential will never be released or realised. If you open the door to let potential in, there is a chance you will not achieve it, make a mistake, look silly and then deal with other people’s opinions. But what if it is realised? What if that incredible potential you hold inside of you, that is knocking at the door, is released and you create the amazing things in your life you have always wanted?
Please don’t allow fear to rule your life and your choices. When you feel it, just know in your heart that it is incredible potential for something great in your life, just knocking at the door. Have the courage to open the door and let it in.
by admin | 21 May, 2022 | Andrew's Blog, Any Category, Mindset
There is one resource we have no control over. You know what it is, don’t you? Have you ever asked; where has the time gone? Have you ever said; I can’t believe another year has passed? Have you ever declared; it seems like it was yesterday? We all have. No matter what we say, how much we lament, or what we wish, we cannot change the fact that time just keeps marching on. What we can do is be proud of what we have done, and then make the most of the moment we have.
I am very grateful to have another opportunity to appear on Weekend Sunrise, an Australian breakfast television program, this weekend. By the time you are reading this, it may well have happened. The producer of the show asked me for some footage of my professional footballing days to use in the introduction of the segment. Well, that has sent me off on a journey of fossicking, exploring, memories, reminiscing, and pleasant surprises. Why do I say surprises? Because, as I watched some of the video footage, I realised I was better than I had always thought I was.
I have been watching video footage from the mid 1980’s. Yes, that is getting towards 40 years ago, as I am writing this blog. For much of that time, my memories of myself as a footballer were less than impressive, to me anyway. The words and phrases I have previously used to describe myself as an athlete, included battler, lacking-ability, skinny, ill-equipped and several other less than complimentary expressions. The picture of myself was that I was never as good as the other players and that, if it wasn’t for persistence, effort, and naivety, I never would have made it.
Don’t get me wrong, I still believe persistence, effort, and naivety were a large part of the reason for my seven years of professional sport. However, I now realise that I had more ability than I believed, and I even impress myself as I re-watch some of the games I played in many decades ago. The older I am getting, the better I believe I was. It is a shame it has taken me almost forty years to realise the fact that I was good enough, I am good enough, and I will always be good enough.
The message is, you don’t have to wait until you get older to realise how good you are now. You are amazing, you were amazing, and you will always be amazing! The one thing I know about pretty much every human being on the planet is that we are our harshest critics by far. Not only that, but we are also ridiculously harsh and often unfair in the conclusions we draw about ourselves. We seem only to think about the mistakes, failures, and imperfections from our past, what we should be doing better in the present, and how we are not enough to achieve what we want in the future. I hope, for your sake, you are ready to stop that rubbish today.
If you were to evaluate your life honestly and objectively, to this point, I know you would find many things that you have done much better than you may have previously thought. If you can get to that place, then you will realise that what you are doing now is also impressive. Then, the magic starts to happen, because with pride in your previous performances, more belief in your ability now, the future for you, my friend, is looking very bright. Just don’t wait till you get older to discover how amazing you truly are.
In my podcast this week with Jonathan McLernon called Compassionate awareness, I was totally inspired by a man who has made this realisation about himself. His past is littered with trauma, from an attempted murder on his life, losing all his money in a failed business venture, and being 100 lbs or 45 kg overweight. He learned to love himself and recognise how amazing he was, he is, and he will be. It is an incredible podcast which I encourage you to listen to.
As I am writing this blog, I am 57 years old. My professional football career started when I was 16. That was a long time ago and getting longer with each day that passes. I can’t go back and change anything, but what I can do is identify the truth. The truth is that I was good enough then, I am good enough now and I will always be good enough. It is my greatest desire that you will not wait many decades into the future to recognise how good you are now. You are already amazing, and when you believe that, the great news is that the older you get, the ‘even’ better you will become.
by admin | 14 May, 2022 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
We live in a very visual world. We live in a world that largely defines beauty as having a flawless physical appearance. In fact, the Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines ‘beautiful’ as: having qualities of beauty: exciting aesthetic pleasure. Then to define the word ‘aesthetic’ it says: pleasing in appearance. So, it is understandable to see why so many people judge their beauty based on their physical traits. I would like to make a statement, maybe not even knowing you. You are already beautiful… just the way you are.
To me it is tragic that so many people look in the mirror and see something very different to what most other people see. We are all victim to this in some degree. When I look in the mirror, the first things I see are: the bags under my eyes, wrinkles, thinning hair, and blemishes. It takes deliberate focus to see beauty. The beauty that I see in myself starts well under the surface, and the more I think about the person I am and the person I am still becoming, it is easier for me to look beyond the surface stuff to truly see exciting aesthetic pleasure.
Like most people, I enjoy some time looking at social media. Not a lot, but some. There are so many inspiring messages coming through, that it makes it worth it for me to invest a small amount of time scrolling. However, what disturbs me the most are the people who feel that they are not beautiful enough just as they are and put on masks of filters, airbrushing and enhancements. They believe they are making themselves more aesthetically pleasing, but they don’t understand what true beauty really is. Beauty starts inside all of us and emanates out through every pore. Beauty is an attitude. Beauty is a feeling. Beauty is for everyone. Beauty is for you.
This was powerfully reinforced for me this week in my podcast conversation with Rhianne Miller called Choose you. Rhianne, in her early 30’s, was diagnosed with breast cancer, which led her to a single mastectomy, a failed breast reconstruction and now she is living with one breast. She talked about how she felt about that, and how it impacted her feelings of her own beauty. Initially, she covered it up, wore padding and pretended that she had two normal breasts. But then she realised she was beautiful just as she was, and didn’t need to pretend to be something she was not to fit into the societal perception of beauty.
She is now very public about living with one breast, she is proud of the person she is becoming, and she knows she is beautiful just as she is, despite all of her flaws and imperfections. She has a passion for life that is addictive and that explodes through the speakers as you listen to her talk on this podcast. She is beautiful in every respect, and that beauty starts on the inside and then floods out of every pore. She even explained how people started to describe her after this shift. She said people would say, you have an incredible energy, or, you have beautiful eyes. They noticed the things that poured out of her as a result of her core being and the beliefs about herself.
You know what I am talking about here, don’t you? We meet people all the time and we can see their beauty based on their approach and attitude towards themselves and their life. I have met people who, if you were judging them on the Merriam-Webster definition of attractiveness, you would say they would not rate high on the scale, yet they emanate incredible beauty. I also meet people who do everything they can to be physically beautiful and accepted, yet are lacking that inner self-love and zest for life. It has a powerful effect on their physical appearance.
My point is this. You are beautiful just the way you are with all of your wrinkles, blemishes and imperfections. You don’t need to filter, enhance, or cover up the real you. You just need to look inside at the person you are. The values you hold dear, the purpose for your being, the heart you have for others, the excitement of the possibilities and opportunities that are there ready and waiting for you, and the love you have for yourself. When you focus on these things, you will start to believe that you are already beautiful, and that beauty will then start to flow out of you through every pore. Please believe me when I say, you are beautiful.
by admin | 30 Apr, 2022 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
I was speaking to a friend this week. Rosemary is a wonderful lady I had lost touch with over the last few years, but who is a loyal reader and commenter on my blogs. As we were chatting, she said to me, Andrew, I can’t understand how you do it, but every week your blogs are spot on. It’s as if you know exactly what I need. Well, that was a marvelous compliment for sure and, just what a writer wants to hear. As I reflected on it after we finished speaking, I realised it is because I follow the same approach to my writing as Michelangelo did to his sculpting.
Back in the year 1501, artist Michelangelo was commissioned to create a sculpture of the biblical figure David. He was presented with a massive block of marble that stood well over 5 metres or 17 feet tall. Between August 1501 and September 1504 Michelangelo carved away and created the awe-inspiring Statue of David. If you have ever seen it in real life, you will know how amazingly detailed it is and what an incredible achievement it was in the 16th century. I stood speechless at its feet in 2018 for hours, mesmerised by its majesty.
When Michelangelo had finally completed this incredible statue, so dumbfounded were the people that the common question he got asked was, how did you do it? His answer has inspired me for many years and, as I mentioned, has totally transformed my approach to writing, and many other things that I do. When describing how he did it, he said, I saw the angel in the marble, and I carved until I set him free. I want you to read that again, if you don’t mind. Let it sink in because, if you can understand what happened for him and apply that same approach to your own life, as with Michelangelo’s statue, anything is possible.
I wrote a blog a couple of weeks ago, called Pass it up, and it is a similar theme. The message is, stop overthinking and just have faith that if you get started, with any vision or goal, and get into consistent action, the angel will appear. That angel for you may be improved health and wellbeing. That angel may be money in the bank and financial peace of mind. That angel may be a restored relationship with an important person in your life. That angel may be your book, your art, your business, or anything you are trying to carve right now.
The key is to close your eyes and visualise what you are trying to create, and then just start carving. The longer you put it off the greater the chance that it will never happen. Why? Because, as I have said many times, the most dangerous place you can stay, is in your head. You know, as I do, that you are your own biggest critic. You also know, as I do, that if you spoke to your friends like you speak to yourself, you would be a very lonely person. In your head you are bombarded by all your limiting beliefs, and critical self-talk. The greatest barrier to any achievement is over-thinking and negative self-talk. The only way to overcome that is to get out of your head and start carving.
In my book T.E.A.R.S. of Joy, I talk about the power of the vision to create a strong positive emotion. The key is to very quickly get out of your head, into your heart and then start carving, while you are feeling excited, determined, focused and empowered. If you go from your head to your heart and then back into your head, you will get stuck. Trust me on this one, just start carving. In my podcast this week called Betrayal to breakthrough with Dr. Debi Silber, she discusses the stages of transformation, and the best way to move through the stages is to just start carving, and have faith that the breakthrough will come.
I know for certain personality types this is a confronting way to approach life. If that is you, I want to encourage you to give it a go anyway. What have you got to lose? Look again at some photos of the Statue of David and be amazed at the incredible detail and life-likeness of this incredible sculpture. Then, all you must understand is that Michelangelo didn’t know, as he began, how he would do it. He knew the angel was in there, so he just wanted to set him free. The angel is in you, in whatever you are striving for right now, so just start carving and you will also set him or her free. Just start carving today.
