by admin | 15 Mar, 2024 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
What is one type of event that for many people sparks a reflection of their life, and an audit of their actions? I am sure you guessed it. I attended a funeral this week, and it was a wonderful celebration of the life of an amazing man. As I always do at funerals, I reflected on my life. Life is such a fragile and temporary thing, so I stopped to assess my own, and ask myself if I am living my best life. It was the catalyst for an immediate action audit.
What do I mean by action audit? I don’t think I need to explain what I mean by ‘action’, however there are different interpretations of the word ‘audit’. The online Merriam-Webster Dictionary has two definitions:
- A formal examination of an organization’s or individual’s accounts or financial situation
- A methodical examination and review
Let’s go with definition number two, a methodical examination and review. Before I dive into this, seemingly complex subject, I want to discuss my mentor’s philosophy on life. She simplifies it beautifully. The subject of death can either be a morbid and depressing one or, depending on how you look at it, an empowering and life-changing one. You see, it is a certainty. We will all get to the end. When we do, and as we are lying on our deathbed, what will we be thinking about as we reflect on the life we lived. Will it be joy and gratitude, or will it be sadness and regret? Will we be saying I am glad I did, or I wish I had? How you determine the answer, will be reflected in your action audit.
My mentor puts it this way. We are born on a certain date, and we die on a certain date. When you look at a headstone or these dates when referring to someone who has passed, their life is represented as a dash. For example, John Smith lived 24/09/1943 – 12/11/2019. She says, it’s all about the dash. If you are reading this, you are part way through your dash. How is it going? Are you happy with you? Are you doing things that light you up? Are you spending enough time with people you care about? Are you focused on the most important things? These are important questions to ponder because, whether you like it or not, at some point that end date will arrive, and none of us know when that will be. That being the case, I suggest that right now is the time to do an action audit.
Too many of us, me included, think our dash will last forever. It won’t. Too many people, me included, think that tomorrow is the best time to start on a course of action. It’s not. The length and quality of our dash is 100% determined by the actions we take in each and every moment. Yes, that means now. If we look at the definition of audit, it states that it’s a methodical examination and review. At the moment, you are reading this blog, so if you were to examine and review that particular action, you would get a thumbs up. Well done.
Let’s do an examination and review of your actions over the last 24 hours and see how we go. What food and drink choices did you make? What communication actions did you take? What financial choices did you make? What TV, social media, or reading actions did you take? What personal growth actions did you take? What business growth actions did you take? What relationship building actions did you take? What self-care actions did you take?
As you think about each action, the audit part is to review whether it enhanced your dash, or it eroded it. Let me say this again. Each action you take will enhance your dash or erode it. There is no plateau or status quo. Based on your actions or inactions, as the case may be, your dash is either getting longer and joy-filled, or it’s getting shorter and regret-filled. I wish I had spent time auditing my actions earlier in my life. If I had, maybe I wouldn’t have been sacked as a professional athlete, experienced three divorces, or lost money in business. The great news for me, and for you, is that despite our past, we can start auditing, reviewing, and changing our actions right now.
In my podcast this week called Wellness without weirdness, I speak with Jenn Trepeck about how we can audit and modify actions that will affect our wellbeing and longevity. It is an awesome conversation. The deal is, my friend, you have only one life, one dash, and it is a limited one. What you do in each moment will determine the life you live. So, please, for your own sake and that of the people you care about most, take the time to audit your actions and make the necessary changes.
by admin | 2 Mar, 2024 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
It is very easy for me – and I would dare say for most people – to beat myself up, judge myself, and feel like I am not good enough. Most of us are far harder on ourselves than we are on other people, when really, we should be celebrating ourselves. Why? Because we are alive, because we are loved, and because, no matter what we are insecure about, we are where we are today as a result. So, I want to encourage you to celebrate your insecurities today.
Last week I was honoured to be invited to speak with a fabulous group of people at an event called Stories that Stir. There were five other speakers, and we each had the challenging task to share our story, highlighting resilience, in ten minutes or less. Trust me, not an easy thing to do. When I received the order of the speakers a couple of days before the event, my insecurity immediately kicked in. I was first on the program and, when I saw it, two rubbishy thoughts entered my mind, and I had to be very deliberate to change them.
The first thought, and as crazy as it seems, was; if I am first, does that mean I am not as good as the other speakers? Very quickly, I slapped and reminded myself that I am a great speaker with a message that will impact lives. The second thought, just as rubbishy, was, thank goodness I am first, then I don’t have to follow all the other amazing speakers. Again, I had to slap myself and then decide to believe that I was first on the program because I would set up the event in a positive and powerful way. So, the question is, where did those damaging thoughts come from?
In my talk, I spoke about how I inherited a belief as a child that I was not good enough. It was given to me by thoughtless teachers who were unaware of the power of their words on an innocent and impressionable child. Yes, at the time of my life I was innocent and impressionable! So, I carried a belief that I was not enough as I was, and spent many decades trying to prove to myself that I was actually enough. It drove me into an ongoing and fruitless pursuit of external achievement and validation to fill an inner void.
It was the reason I chased and achieved a seven-year professional sporting career. It motivated me to obsessively develop my physique and fitness level. It was the cause of many failed relationships and marriages. It was the reason I worked so hard, for so long. This one powerful insecurity was the driving force behind a relentless and exhausting process to find inner peace and self-worth. Whilst I achieved a lot that I am proud of, none of those things helped me feel that I was enough, because no external achievement or other person can do that for me.
Finally, after working myself and two businesses into the ground, I thought enough is enough. As I was on the verge of asking myself the wrong question again, I thought differently. The wrong question is, what am I going to do now? I finally realized that question had got me in this situation, so I asked a very different question. That question was, how do I want to live? Wow, what a difference the right question can make! As a result of that question and the vision for my life I created, the idea came to me to write a book. As illogical as that idea was at the time, it was the one that changed the course of my life.
After the talk the other night, I was approached by a lady who thanked me for what I shared, and she told me how much she related to my story and my insecurities. As we were talking, I had an epiphany. If it wasn’t for my insecurities and feelings of not being good enough, I would never have done the things I had done. It is so easy to judge these feelings and beat ourselves up for our insecurities, when really we should be celebrating them.
Without the feeling of not being enough, I would never have played professional sport. If I wasn’t chasing validation, I wouldn’t have developed my body and focused on my wellbeing. Without the ego need for the acceptance of other people, I wouldn’t have been in and out of relationships to end up in one I love. Without always trying to prove myself, I wouldn’t have worked so hard and got myself into so much debt which led to one of the greatest decisions of my life. That decision, to write a book. Can you see how my insecurities have got me to where I am today? So, rather than judge them or resent them, I need to celebrate them.
One of the amazing speakers at the same event was my podcast guest this week, Em Chadbourne. In the podcast called Radical responsibility, Em talks about the same concept. Her life spiraled into debt, alcohol, and victim-mindset, until she decided to take radical responsibility. It was her own insecurities that triggered the change in her life that has helped her live a life of purpose and joy. The next time you start to stress about, judge, or condemn your insecurities, just know that, with proper perspective, they are leading you to a life of purpose and joy. That is definitely worthy of celebration.
by admin | 22 Feb, 2024 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity, Mindset
Have you ever thought about or stated that your greatest dream in life is to be miserable? Me neither. Yet, there have been many times when misery was my jam, and as I look around at the places I frequent, I don’t see lots of people putting fun first. So, with that in mind, this week is all about how we can put fun into everything we do and, put it first.
We live in a serious world, with lots of challenges, and if we are not very careful, we can let life flush us down the misery drain-pipe. So, we have to be very deliberate about finding fun, and then inserting it into everything. Yes, everything. Even cleaning? Yep. Even work? Yep. Even tough conversations? Yep. Even spreadsheets? Yep. Even exercise? Yep. Trust me, you can make anything fun, if you approach it with the right attitude and look at it with the right perspective.
I remember as a teenager, my dream and greatest desire at that time was to be a professional footballer. When I got my chance and was invited to come and try out at the St Kilda Football Club, it didn’t take too long before I was questioning my dream and desire. In my mind I could see and feel the wonderful experience of making it as a professional athlete. What I hadn’t considered was the pain, sweat, and relentlessness it would take to get to that point. I thought I was fit; I was wrong. I thought I was prepared; I was wrong. I believed I could do it; I began to doubt.
Each training session was more lung-busting, muscle-tearing, and brutal than the one before. There were times I felt faint, there were times I vomited, and there were times I passed out. There were moments when I just didn’t think I could take one more step. It was not fun, and the thought of giving up was a regular one in those early days. In fact, I do believe I would have given up if I was not able to find the fun and put it first. So, the question I hear you asking is, how do you possibly find fun in pain? That is a great question.
The simple answer, I stopped focusing on the pain, and I started focusing on where I was heading and who I was becoming. With each pounding session, I felt stronger, I felt mentally tougher, and I felt more equipped to make it at the highest level of the sport. Whilst the training was tough, the fun part was knowing it was helping me become better. Being a member of a team and going through the journey with your teammates is definitely a fun part of the process. The banter, the laughter, and the sharing of discomfort made the whole experience more joyful. Without finding the fun, I know I would never have stuck with it, as it took many years before I finally made it as a regular senior player. The fun kept me in.
These days, the pain and discomfort of being a professional athlete are a distant memory. I do, however, train every day, and I do use the same strategy to make every morning that I get up at 5am to exercise a fun part of my day. In addition to exercise, I have many parts of my business which I can easily describe as fun. I love writing because I am creating something that will change lives. I love speaking to groups because I know someone will get the message I am communicating and it will help them in their life. I love mentoring aspiring authors and people with their wellbeing because I know they will be an example and create a ripple effect of positive change in the world. I even love the preparation of all these things, because without it I can’t do what I do. It is all fun.
Another part of my business involves helping people diversify utilizing an e-commerce platform. The other evening, we did a training session focused on skin care. My goal, in addition to imparting information and ideas, was first and foremost for it to be fun. There was lots of laughter, there was fun to be had with the virtual app which analysed skin, and all in all it was a fun and powerful 45 minutes for everyone who attended. Seeing that I have a skin age of 38 years old, when I am over 20 years beyond that age was definitely fun!
So, my question to you is, how can you put fun first in everything you are doing, no matter how unfun it may appear? Could you get together with people you have fun with to do tedious things? Could you give yourself a cool reward for completing a challenging task? Could you change your environment and make it more fun? Could you focus on who you are becoming and what you are creating as you do what you need to do? Could you give yourself fun little breaks on a regular basis? Could you simply choose to enjoy what you are doing? Yes, you can choose to have fun, no matter what.
My podcast this week is with Mish Cogley and is called What if?. Mish went through a very challenging time during COVID and experienced many trauma-causing events over a very short period of time. She constantly said to herself, what if I could find a way? What if I could get better? What if I could find fun. I want to encourage you to find a way, no matter how challenging it may be, to put fun first with everything you do.
by admin | 26 Jan, 2024 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
As a professional footballer, at a very young age playing my first senior level game, I was knocked out and carried off on a stretcher. I played football at a competitive level for the next 18 years after that incident. I think it would be fair to say, I got hit in the head, to some degree or another, at least 10 times. Have I killed some brain cells? Probably. Has it affected my cognitive function? Possibly. Whatever the outcome of these hits, all I know is this, I need to keep things simple if I am to enjoy my life and achieve what I want. So, I want to encourage you to do all you can to simplify everything.
I am not suggesting you go out and hit your head repeatedly against a brick wall to kill brain cells and affect your cognitive function to help you simplify things. I am suggesting you do it deliberately with everything you do. The Cambridge Dictionary definition of ‘Simplify’ is, to make something less complicated and therefore easier to do or understand. Doesn’t that sound better than to make something more complicated and therefore harder to do or understand? Right? So, why is it so many of us complicate things?
I used to complicate my training to the nth degree. I needed to know which energy systems were being used, which muscles strengthened, what was the optimal time and duration to train, and what training gear was best. Now I simply get up and move each day and vary it on a regular basis. OMG, I used to complicate my eating! I would weigh, measure, count, avoid, and worry. I would make eating out needlessly stressful because I would try to change everything on the menu to suit my extreme and paranoid eating habits. It was exhausting and didn’t give me the results I wanted. Now, I simply eat the whole range of natural foods, enjoy variety, and indulge in moderation. I am far happier and healthier.
I used to complicate my relationships ten-fold by trying always to be liked, worrying about what others thought, and trying to have all the answers. It kept me feeling stuck and insecure. Now, I simply strive to treat every person with respect and value, and it has made all the difference. When I started in business, I complicated selling my product or service by needing to explain all the features and benefits and having all the smooth sales lines. It was a horrible and ineffective experience. Now, I simply focus on building relationships and finding out what is important to people, and everything changed.
I hope you are getting my message here. We live in a world that tries to complicate everything, and I mean everything. If we buy into it, we will be stressed, confused, and far away from what we want. The moment you can simplify things, the moment you make it easier to do and understand, therefore there is more chance you will get the results you want. When you stop and realise that strengthening your financial situation simply requires you to spend less and earn more, then you get into action creating that outcome. You don’t need to understand business, shares, interest rates, or investment strategies. You just need to earn more than you spend.
Make this day, this week, and this year, the one you decide to simplify all the things that are causing confusion and stress. Rather than look at achievement, or material things as the catalyst for your joy, why not go for a walk outside and look around at the incredible world we live in? Just be grateful that you are here to enjoy it. If you have kids, they are going to do things that annoy you, that is a fact, so why not simply love them for who they are and what they add to your life. Do me a favour and stop right now and think about 3 things you love, three things you are grateful for, and three things you are excited about. How does that feel? Pretty simple, right?
In my podcast this week with Madonna Santa called, Wonder words, we discuss the power that the words we use will have on our life. I think we can all agree, it is pretty simple to change the words we use. I didn’t say easy, but it is simple, as is everything in life. The difference between making something beautifully simple and horrendously complicated is deliberate thought. So, as you finish reading this blog and get on with your day, be deliberate about your choice to simplify everything.
by admin | 13 Jan, 2024 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
Deb and I recently had a wonderful weekend in Sydney, enjoying the sights, sounds and tastes, and also some precious time with my amazing mentor, Glenda. As we sat with her for breakfast on Monday morning last week, she shared with us some incredible insights. None more profound than when the words came out of her mouth, referring to becoming the best we can be, Fear drives, but faith leads.
As I listened to Glenda and thought about this statement, it started making sense. For much of my life I have been driven, and I think many people could relate to that also. When I reflect on my own drive, and the foundation of it, one word comes to my mind. That word is FEAR. I was driven to be a professional athlete in fear that if I didn’t achieve something big, I would not be accepted or respected. As a personal trainer, I was driven to create a body that people would admire in fear of being rejected and unloved. In business I drove myself to the brink of disaster for the fear of failure. Can you relate to any of these?
The question that needs to be asked, and it’s an important one, is, did the outcome of the things I was driven to achieve alleviate the fear? I can tell you, in no uncertain terms, it did not! In fact, if anything it compounded the fear. I remember when I made it at the top level of sport, the fear simply changed. Instead of a fear of being accepted and respected, it became a fear of whether I could maintain it or actually even deserved it. When I achieved a body that was strong, fit, and athletic, the fear turned to one as a result of comparison. I was scared that I wasn’t as ‘ripped and rockhard’ as other people and that, again, I would be found out as an imposter. In my business, the harder I worked, the greater the fear of loss or failure became. It was a horrible cycle that I could not escape. Until I found faith.
My first experience with being led by faith, that I can actually identify, was before I really had any idea of the power of faith. I have told the story many times about my decision to write my first book. There is no doubt in my mind that it was faith-based. How do I know that? Firstly, it made no logical sense, therefore it required total faith to actually believe it could be done. Secondly, and I think most significantly, unlike my other aspirations, I was led to write my first book, not driven. I was led by a vision, I was led by curiosity, and I was led by a feeling that this was the path I needed to follow to have the impact and create the life I wanted. The fact that becoming an author started me on the path to find my purpose in life, when writing a book was never something I thought I could do or wanted to do, is absolute evidence of the power of faith in my life.
Looking back now, as a Christian, I know that the voice I heard to write the book was God’s voice. Since becoming a Christian, and slowly and reluctantly giving up the need to be in control of every situation and the need to be driven by fear, I have been led more and more each day by the wonderful power of faith. Faith is a feeling that pulls you in a direction, even one that may not seem logical and probably totally flies in the face of what mainstream society would accept. In Hebrews 11:1 it says, Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of thing not seen. In other words, it leads us based on an understanding that if we just dare to follow the feeling, we will end up exactly where we need to be, even if we have no idea where that is or how to get there.
I think we can all share experiences of when we just followed a gut feeling without any idea or answers and ended up just where we needed and wanted to be. Even if we didn’t know that’s what we wanted until we got there. This my friend is faith. To be led by faith, you simply have to let go. Let go of what? Let go of the need to have all the answers. Let go of the need to be in control. Let go of the feeling that your value is wrapped up in your achievement. Let go of the drive to do something because of fear. When you believe in a higher power, in my case God, you know you are loved, protected, and led to exactly where you need to be to live a life of meaning, joy, and love.
In my podcast this week with Linn Rivers called Vibrant Wellness, we discuss her being led by faith to overcome many health challenges and traumatic situations from a young age, to be living her own life of joy, wellness, and meaning. This is a challenging thing to do if, like me, you have believed your whole life that, “If it is to be, it is up to me”. You and I can’t do it alone, and the more we try, the more we stay stuck in the cycle of fear. It is my greatest encouragement this week that you allow yourself to be led by faith.
by admin | 15 Dec, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
I love this time of the year. Smiling faces, generous hearts, sun (or snow), friends and family, time for fun and festivities, plans for the future, and most importantly I believe, time to reflect. My message over the last few weeks has been to make the most of the moment, slay the day, and finish the year strong. I believe it wholeheartedly, and part of that, I believe, is to find at least one thing, and smile.
As I have already mentioned, I speak to and see many posts on social media from many people suggesting that 2023 has been a year to forget, and they can’t wait for 2024 to come. I believe these people make two very understandable but devastating errors in judgment. The first one is thinking that somehow, as a new year arrives, things will magically get better. They won’t! We create change in the only moment we have, now, and then the future will get better. It is not a random fingers-crossed and when-I-get-there kind of deal. The second mistake is actually allowing yourself to miss the joy, beauty, accomplishments, lessons, and/or opportunities that occurred in 2023. Trust me, if you are open to it, look for it, and reflect on it, you will find at least one thing, and smile.
As I reflect on my 2023, it was definitely a mixed bag. I think that is probably what it’s like every year, isn’t it? When I say mixed bag, I want to clarify. It doesn’t mean some great things and some terrible things. It means some things that went as I hoped, and some incredible lessons I learned when they didn’t. There were some joyous moments, and there were some challenging but glorious opportunities for personal growth. I guess what I am trying to say, without wanting to come across as too Pollyanna or insensitive, is that I can look back at everything that happened this year and smile. Smile for the achievement, smile for the joy, smile for the connection, smile for the significance, smile for the lesson, or smile for the opportunity to grow as a person. What about you?
What I want to encourage you to do, before you relegate 2023 to the past and move into 2024 with hope and anticipation, is find, reflect on, and bask in at least one thing that happened in 2023 that is cause for a smile. Was in an achievement, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant? It is significant, and you should be proud. Was it an experience that moved you in a positive way? Was it a connection with another human that warmed your heart? Was it the completion of something you have been working on for a while? Was it letting go of something that you recognised was no longer serving you? Was it a lesson learned from something that didn’t go the way you wanted? Was it a perspective you gained regarding something that has been holding you back? Was it the kick up the butt you really needed? What is it? Embrace it, enjoy it, be grateful for it, and smile.
In my podcast this week called Learn to be lucky with the fabulous Andy Lingfield, we have an incredible conversation about creating more ‘luck’ in your life. When Andy was seven years old, a trip to the musical theatre with his dad to see the Sound of Music, and then a kind gesture by the lady behind the merchandise counter sparked a dream in him that many would consider lucky that he actually achieved. The memory of that visit to the theatre still makes him smile, many decades later.
You never know, the thing that you reflect on that makes you smile, may actually be the thing that is the catalyst for great change in your life and the fulfillment of a dream. So, don’t waste it. There are more moments of significance that happened this year than you or I will probably ever recognise or remember, but all I am encouraging you to do is just find and focus on one. Please don’t let this year pass without realising that without everything that happened, you would not be the wonderful human being you are today. So, find that one thing, and smile.
