by admin | 14 Feb, 2025 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
There is so much joy to be had in our lives, but we often miss it. There is so much potential inside every person that often goes unused. There is so much abundance available to all of us, but we often make excuses as to why we don’t deserve it. What I am saying is that there is more for me and there is more for you. I want you to remember this simple concept; no matter how you feel, dance anyway.
Last weekend there was a Latin festival in St Kilda, so a friend and I decided to go and experience the vibrant Latino culture. When I think of the people from the wonderful South American countries, I think of passion, smiles, laughter, food, and dancing. I love the passion, the smiles, the laughter, and the food. The dancing, however, terrifies me. Why? Latin dancing is the most amazing dancing there is, but it seems so complex, and it scares me to death. So, as we walked across to the festival area, I was wearing my ‘I’m really excited’ mask, when in reality I was on the verge of soiling my undies.
As we arrived and walked in, the first thing we saw were the people dancing the samba, the tango, the rumba, or one of those incredibly complicated dances, as I perceived them to be. So, I quickly suggested, before my friend had other ideas, that we look around and get something to eat and drink. She agreed. Phew, temporary reprieve. We enjoyed some wonderful Argentinian food, had a couple of drinks, and I was feeling a little more relaxed. There was a DJ playing current South American music, and many people dancing with incredible joy on their faces. We wandered over, and before I knew what was happening, I was dancing in my own very unassuming way.
After a while, my body was getting into the rhythm. We walked back over to where the others were dancing with actual classic moves. Again, I had no intention of dancing, until a South American lady dressed appropriately, grabbed me by the hand and gave me no choice. I didn’t want to, but I danced anyway. She taught me a few moves, and I didn’t trip up. We danced for a few minutes, and, surprise surprise, it wasn’t as hard as I imagined it would be, and, I actually enjoyed it. Am I going to be a superstar dancer? No, I’m not. Is it something I am going to do every week? No, it isn’t. But, as life does, it taught me a lesson. You may not feel like dancing, but dance anyway.
This is such a beautiful metaphor for life, isn’t it? You may have seen the many quotes out there that suggest the same message. Quotes like:
Dance like no-one is watching,
Love like you’ve never been hurt,
Sing like no-one is listening,
Live like heaven is on earth.
Let me tell you, when my alarm goes off in the morning at 4:52am, I don’t feel like getting up to exercise. I get up anyway. There are many times, I don’t feel like writing. I write anyway. When the time comes to make my phone calls for the day, I am a little terrified. I make the calls anyway. Before you start to think I do everything anyway, irrespective of how I am feeling, I don’t. There are times when I know I should do certain things, and I talk myself out of them. I am working hard every day to change that, but, like you, I am human.
I just want to encourage you to dance anyway. There are things you know you will be glad you did after they are done. So, even though at the time you may not feel like it, or think you can, do them anyway. The fun things, the helping other people things, and the important things. Feel the resistance but do them anyway. My two recent podcasts with Rhonda Britten, called A Gold Star Day, and Ash Perrow called Play Bigger, are wonderfully inspiring conversations that I know will help you dance anyway.
You have heard it before many times. When you get to the end of your life, you will either be saying, I wish I had done more and not let fear stop me, or, I am glad I did the things I was scared to do. I know it’s hard to imagine that time, so don’t. I want to encourage you to just think about the only day you have. That is today. Commit to yourself that no matter what comes your way and no matter your feeling of resistance, dance anyway.
by admin | 7 Feb, 2025 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
Imagine you are standing by the side of a small pond. It is a beautiful and calm day, and the water is flat and clear like glass. You decide to pick up a rock and hurl it into the pond. What happens? There is a large splash, right? And the rock causes small waves that spread out and travel all the way to the very edge of the pond. If the pond was bigger, the ripple would keep going until the water ends. What if, instead of a rock, you picked up a feather and dropped it in the pond? There may not be a splash, but there would still be a ripple.
You may not know it yet, but that is very profound, and something we all need to think about as we get up and into our day and life moving forward. No matter whether you drop a rock or drop a feather into that pond, there is always a ripple. It may not be the same intensity of ripple, but it will be there, nevertheless. So, what has this got to do with anything that is relevant to me? I hear you asking. Stay with me and the answer to that very important question will become clear.
There have been times in my life, feeling like a victim and just wanting some attention, when I would deliberately throw a rock into the pond, causing a large splash and an intense ripple. As a much younger and very insecure man, I was always looking for attention and validation. I would drink way too much, and then say things to purposefully shock people, not caring who got hurt in the process. In those days, I spent much of my life apologising to people I had offended as a result of my irresponsible behaviour and inappropriate words.
Then as I got older, thankfully, I started thinking more carefully about what I said and did so as not to offend or hurt anyone’s feelings. In other words, I stopped throwing rocks. However, what I found was that I was still upsetting and offending people, even without trying. Trust me, this is not a skill you want to develop. Little things like not responding to a phone call or text message would anger people. Walking into a room with a frown on my face would cause some people to wonder if they had done something wrong. Simply missing out on saying hello to each person in the room would offend the person I missed. Accidentally using the wrong word or phrase, or the tone in my voice could create a rift that was difficult to mend. What I came to recognise was that everything, no matter how big or small, created a ripple.
I am writing this blog for me, but also to help you understand this powerful idea and avoid the painful mistakes that I have made. For so much of my life, I was totally unaware of how my words, actions, tone of voice, body language, and even my silence or inaction, impacted lives. I had no idea that the light feather floating into the pond was still causing a ripple effect and damaging my relationship with myself and others. So, I want you to be very clear about how your communication, or lack of it, is creating a ripple that will either build or destroy, help or harm, encourage or offend, and/or strengthen or weaken your relationships.
I want you to consider what is being communicated to another person when you do the following things. If you keep people waiting, you are saying my time is more important than yours. When you roll your eyes, what may be communicated is, what you say is stupid and irrelevant, and you are wasting my time. When you don’t return a call or message, what could be perceived is, I am not important enough for this person to respond to. If you don’t acknowledge everyone in the room, the person missing out hears, I don’t like you or think you are worthy of acknowledgement. If you’re having a bad day and say something in a rushed or annoyed tone, it may be taken as, rudeness, arrogance, or that you don’t like me. The ripple of each of these seemingly insignificant feathers can potentially break trust, hurt feelings, cause a rift, harm self-worth, and/or destroy a relationship.
On the flipside, small things you do and say can send a powerfully positive message and create a beautiful ripple that will lift, inspire, build, strengthen, empower many lives, and improve this world. Things like; a smile, a word of encouragement, responding immediately (as soon as possible, that is) to calls and messages, remembering names and using them, looking people in the eyes, being punctual, and so many other seemingly insignificant things. You don’t need me to list any more. You already know this. What you may not know is the ripple effect and powerful impact you are having with the small things you do and say. I hope you are fully aware now.
Louise Siwicki is my guest on this week’s podcast called Productively unproductive. She discusses the ripple effect of stress and the words she used to herself and to others and the impact it had on her life. Things changed dramatically when she became aware of this ripple, and made the changes required. As you move forward in your day, you will communicate with many people, including yourself, either verbally or non-verbally. Before you do, please pay very close attention, and know that, no matter what is communicated, there is always a ripple.
by admin | 24 Jan, 2025 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
I have a very strong belief that I am worthy, I am here for a reason, and my life has meaning. I have a strong belief that the same is true for you. The disconnect often happens for me because I don’t always act that way. I don’t always talk to myself or treat myself in a way which reflects that belief. How about you? We do all sorts of things for the people we love, yet the person we should love the most, ourselves, often misses out. So, with that in mind, I want to encourage you, starting today, to do it for you.
In a world when the only person we can control is ourselves, why do we feel we have so much responsibility for other people? I understand parents need to feel and act that way with their children to an extent, but what about the rest of us? I don’t have children but often still focus on and worry about others more than I focus on myself. I am guessing you possibly do the same. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love doing things for and helping others, and I always will, as I hope you do. However, I need to understand that if it comes at the expense of my joy, purpose, dreams, and/or wellbeing, then I need to come back to me. If I don’t do it for me, then I can never really do it for others.
I have so much empathy for certain people in my life who are feeling overwhelmed and out of control. Children who place continual demands on them, a partner who expects many things of them, and other family and friends who they feel obliged to. After all that, the most important person, who needs their love, care, and attention the most, misses out. That is themselves. If you are getting a little uncomfortable as I am writing this, please keep reading, and then do something about it. Do something for you.
We live in a society that expects and pushes us to look a certain way, do certain things, respond in certain ways, and achieve certain things. In many cases, the things we do are not for us, but to make someone else happy or proud. The only reason I went to university was to make my parents happy. Actually, if I am being honest, to get them off my back. After university with a Physical Education degree, I went into teaching. Why? Was it my passion? No way. I did it because it was expected of me. Was I happy? No, I was miserable. I finally got to the point when I thought, If I don’t get out of this career, before I strangle a teenager, I am in trouble. Believe me, I would never strangle a teenager, however, I have to be honest, there were times when the thought was a pleasing one! That is a definite indication that I was not doing this career for me.
You see when you don’t do it for you, you do it for all the wrong reasons. What is ‘it’? ‘It’ is anything that does not light you up or move you towards a passion or purpose in your life. ‘It’ is something someone else expects from you to make them happy or proud. When you do this, not only will it affect your joy, but it will have an adverse effect on everyone around you. So, I say it again, do it for you. Sure, look after your wellbeing, but do it for you, not for anyone else. Absolutely, follow your dreams, not the dreams of someone else. Be the best you can be by leading by positive example, and that means do it for you. When you do, you inspire other people to do the same.
I have been single for quite a while, and as I have no kids and I live alone, it’s easy for me to do it for me. I do spend many hours each day doing things to positively impact other lives. Things like this blog, my books, my podcasts, my speaking, my mentoring, and my posts. I love doing this stuff, and as much as I do it to help other people, I do it for me. It brings me immense purpose and passion. Outside of that, I focus on my mental and physical wellbeing, exercise, time with God, personal development, time by the water, time relaxing and regenerating, and time laughing and connecting with great people. I know if I was in a relationship, it may be more of a challenge to give as much time and attention to me, but I would do it because I know how critical it is for me and everyone I care about.
In my podcast this week with Roni Robbins, called, What you leave behind, we discuss the legacy that each one of us is leaving by being the very best we can be.
I love my life, I love what I get to do, I love how I handle situations, I love the opportunities that come my way, and I love the people in my life. Let me tell you this; the only reason I love it so much is because I prioritise the most important person in my life. Me! That doesn’t mean I am selfish, although there may be times I am, and it doesn’t mean I don’t care for other people, because I do, very much. It means I now know my worth, and I know that if I don’t focus on me then I can never be to others the man I want and need to be. So, my friend, as hard as you may find it moving forward from here, I want to encourage you to do it for you.
by admin | 16 Jan, 2025 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
Have the words “I am too busy” ever emerged from your lips? Have you ever used those words to excuse you from doing something you know you really should be doing? I know I have. When we try to keep adding things to our lives, it will get full, overwhelming, and stressful. So, it may be necessary to stop something so you can start the thing that will have the greatest impact on your year and your life.
We often wonder why we have no spare time, but it is actually very obvious and logical. For example, if you have a full glass of water and you add more, what will happen? It will spill, right? If you are full but keep eating, what is inevitable? Vomit. Yucky, but true. If you jam pack every moment of your day with stuff and then something important needs to be added, what is likely? Excuses, stress, and frustration for more people than just you. Do you see where I am going here?
When the new year started, and I thought about what I wanted to create in 2025, I was encouraged to find one thing to stop, and another thing to start. I realised there was no way I could develop the things I wanted by just adding stuff on top of an already full life. I also knew there was no point just stopping doing something unproductive without a very specific plan of what to add in its place. The late great Skip Ross calls it the law of exclusion, which states, when you get rid of what you don’t want, you make room for what you do want.
There was one thing that had been nagging me for some time. It is my Achilles heel, so to speak. It is television. I love plonking myself on the couch and throwing my brain at the TV. I would justify it by convincing myself that I had worked hard and deserved it. Don’t get me wrong, I do work hard, and I do deserve to watch TV, just not for as long as I was allowing myself to indulge. My routine had become working till 5pm and then watching TV for the next 90 mins. What I was watching was mind-numbing, and not helping me in any way achieve the goals I had for 2025. So, I decided to stop watching TV for that 90 mins.
Had I just decided to stop without starting anything productive to replace that time, I knew it wouldn’t be long before the magnetic effect of the couch on my butt would have lured me back. So, I asked myself, what can I do in those 90 mins to move me towards my best year and my best life? After some reflection, I formulated my plan of what I would start doing instead of watching TV. I decided I would spend some time in prayer and then I would go for a walk to enjoy my surroundings and connect with people. After getting back from my walk, I would make some calls to build relationships, and build my business, and then I would spend some time creating something. I started to imagine how different my life would be by the end of the year by just re-investing 90 minutes per day in myself. Just so you know, that is more than 545 hours, and almost 23 additional days I have just added to my life by that simple decision.
Now, we are only a few weeks into the new year, and already there is a seismic shift in my life. I feel better; more empowered, in control, and energised. Through my prayer, I feel clearer and closer to God. Through my walking and connecting, I have met some amazing people, helped homeless, and reconnected with the amazing place I live. Through my calls, I have developed stronger bonds, and unlocked opportunities. Through my creating, I have written more, posted more, developed events, and it has helped unlock some amazing ideas and possibilities. Wow, profound stuff, hey? Watch this space and ask me how things have changed as the year progresses.
Okay, let’s turn this back to you. If you are reading this blog, I know you want things to be different in one or more areas of your life in 2025 and beyond. I am also aware there are things you know you should be doing. Rather than just trying to add more into your full life, what can you stop doing, so you can start doing the things that will have the greatest impact on your life and the people you love? Is it TV? Is it hitting snooze? Is it processed food and drinks? Is it scrolling social media? Is it complaining and making excuses? You know what it is, don’t you? All you need to do is decide on one thing to stop and then something to start to replace that time.
My podcast this week with Nathan Buttigieg is called You must stop to start. Nathan allowed himself to spiral into alcoholism and drugs, and it was destroying his life. He decided to stop those destructive activities, and instead start reading, listening to podcasts, and embarking on a physical training journey. Now he is loving life and helping many others. What about you? It has come down to this moment, as you read these final words. Please don’t miss this or ignore this. I know you want more for your life, and I know how you can get more. Simply stop doing something destructive and start doing something to build yourself and your life.
Please let me know what you have stopped and then started, and enjoy the adventure.
by admin | 11 Jan, 2025 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
Success. Achievement. Striving. Thriving. Goals. Stretching. Pushing. These are words, whilst positive by nature, strike fear into the hearts of many people. Me too! Why is that? Because the prevailing belief, and this is something I have believed for most of my life, is that everything we want but don’t yet have is outside of our comfort zone. Yuck. It is suggesting it has to be hard to experience success in life. I want to challenge that thinking this week, and ponder the question, what if success is actually already inside our comfort zone?
I have strived for “success” for much of my life. I have got as uncomfortable as humanly possible (for me anyway) many times in pursuit of this “success”. To become a professional athlete, it was bone-jarringly and gut-bustingly painful to make it at the highest level. I did it and I made it, but I never felt successful. To get the body I thought would bring me admiration, self-love, and respect was muscle-tearingly, and lung-burstingly uncomfortable. I achieved the body, but still didn’t feel “successful”. I worked seven-days per week in business to believe I was a “success”. It was relentless and exhausting, but never led me to the feeling that I was a “success”. So, again, my question; is “success” really outside your comfort zone, or is it already there?
The word “success” has a different meaning for different people, however, I believe, for most of us, it has been portrayed as some kind of external achievement or accomplishment. In fact, the definition of the word “success” from www.cambridge.org is:
The achieving of the results wanted or hoped for.
This definition is damaging as it focuses on people’s value based on what they achieve, rather than who they are. My thinking is this, “success” is not about what we do, it is about who we already are. I am a Christian and believe in creation. I also believe the odds of my existence, and yours, are so infinitesimally small, there is no way our existence is luck. I believe God created no junk, and that I am here for a very special purpose. That purpose, to be uniquely and authentically me. Guess what? I am already that. So, are you. Therefore, “success” is already ours. It is already inside our comfort zone. Knowing and believing this, that we are already enough, that we are already loved, and that we are already a “success” means we can go on and manifest amazing things in our lives.
Let me give you a simple example. As I was walking home after training on Wednesday, I decided to do a social experiment. I decided to say ‘hello’ to every person I passed and see how many of them actually said ‘hello’ back to me. Would you agree this is a pretty simple exercise? Would you also agree, we already have the capacity to do this? In other words, we don’t have to get out of our comfort zone, we just have to open our mouths. Well, just because it is already inside of us, doesn’t make it easy. After the first seven ‘hellos’, I had only got one response. I know why. Because I was being timid in my approach. I was fearful of what they might think, or how they would respond. So, I dimmed myself.
In that moment I decided to tap into my existing comfort zone and be loud and proud. For the rest of my walk home, I boomed out “good morning” to every person I met, and by the time I got home had got 17 responses from 30 ‘hellos’. I knew I could do better than that, so I did the same thing on Saturday, and this time got 24 responses from my 30 ‘hellos’. The only reason I didn’t get more was because some of the people were listening to things and clearly couldn’t hear me. I am telling myself that anyway. The question, did I really have to get out of my comfort zone to do that? Of course not, I just had to decide to tap into the joy, love and “success” that is already within me, and share it with others. I feel my biggest issue, and possibly the same for others, is that I didn’t trust the strength, power, and worthiness that is already inside of me. “Success” is already mine, and yours. All we have to do is tap into it, and let it flow out into our lives.
This week I speak with Adrienne Simmons on my podcast. It is called, Your body is your bestie, and we discuss how our body, mind, and emotions already provide us with everything we need. We just need to treat them like our best friends. So, as you go about your day and life after reading this, I hope you believe and do things differently. Focus on the wonders already inside you and in your comfort zone, and simply share them with the world. Then, watch what happens.
by admin | 21 Dec, 2024 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
The most valuable resource we have on this planet is energy. Many people suggest time is the most valuable resource, but my thinking is, that if you don’t have energy, what are you going to do with that time? As a human race we are always looking for more energy to run our homes, our cars, our computers, and our lives. The most important energy we need is to run ourselves. What if there was a simple way to flick the energy switch to create abundant energy?
Have you ever said to yourself; I am so tired, I wish I had more energy, I am exhausted, I don’t have the energy for that, or some other similar thing? We seem to always be looking for that quick energy hit, and many rely on caffeine, sugar, energy drinks, or other synthetic solutions, which may work for a moment, but leaves people lagging again in a very short time. We all know that eating well, regular exercise, and quality sleep are critical if we want optimal energy, don’t we? What if there was an even better way to flick the energy switch?
I was feeling flat on Wednesday. There were some challenging things happening, and despite the fact that I had slept well the night before, exercised in the morning, as I always do, and eaten like a champion, I was still flagging in the mid-afternoon. I was driving into the city to help with the Xmas dinner and celebration for the homeless in Melbourne, and I was really questioning whether I had the energy or desire to be there. It was only because of the commitment to my friend Kate that I decided to go. I got out of my car at just after 3pm struggling, and I got home at about 8:30pm bouncing out of my skin, with energy to burn, and I hadn’t consumed anything in that time. How did that happen?
In fact, it was in a heartbeat I went from zero to hero from an energy standpoint. I walked in, and immediately my mind was off me and my problems, and on making it a wonderful experience for the homeless that would be in attendance that evening. The energy switch was flicked. It was full on from word go as we were preparing food, dragging trestle tables and chairs out to the car park area (where the dinner would be), co-ordinating gifts and strategies to distribute them, helping the music team set up, welcoming people, singing Christmas carols, feeding about 100 or so people, distributing stuff, and so on. It was relentless but energy giving, because we were doing things for others who really valued and appreciated what was being done for them.
Then came the clean-up, and by 7:30pm most of it was done, but there were about 20 or 30 loaves of bread, and about 50 oranges left over. What would we do with them? The thought was we would have to throw them away, but I said, I will take them. So, I packed them into about five bags, loaded them into my car and headed home. No, not to eat them all. There are many homeless people in the suburb I live, so as soon as I got home, still with energy to burn, I took those bags of bread and oranges around the streets and gave them to many homeless people, who were incredibly grateful.
I finally got home about 8:30pm and I was still buzzing with energy and joy. I had not eaten in more than 6 hours, I had no caffeine, no sugar, and no artificial energy enhancer. I was buzzing with the most amazing energy that we, as humans, can ever tap into. It was the energy that comes from giving love, support, service, and kindness to others who are receptive to receive. When we give to these people, we immediately flick the switch and turn on a source of energy that will keep moving us in the direction of purpose, joy and meaning in life.
In my podcast this week called, Freedom is a choice, I speak with a lady full of the most incredible energy, Marleen Mour. After struggling with self-worth, poor health, and lethargy, she has now refocussed on the impact she can and will have on many other people. This is an incredible conversation about choosing to break free from the things holding us back in life. You will be totally inspired by Marleen.
As I publish this blog, it is just a few days before Christmas 2024 and many people are running on empty. How about you? There are people, right now, who are struggling, and will benefit immensely from a kind word, a hand up, a handout, a hug, or just the space to be seen and heard. I want to encourage you to try this today. Give to someone and see how it immediately flicks your energy switch.
Have a beautiful holiday season and thank you for being in my life.
