by admin | 13 May, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
Have you ever eaten a meal or dish before and then compared it to another dish that is effectively the same, yet one tastes so much better than the other? Me too. Have you ever had an experience at one time in your life, and then repeated that exact same experience again with someone different and one was so much better than the other? Me too. Why is one meal, experience, or interaction so much better than another that seems to be the same? The answer is the secret ingredient.
I was enjoying lunch with my dad and his partner Annette last Sunday, and after a yummy main course Annette pulled a delicious looking apple pie out of the oven. It initiated a conversation that has inspired this blog. My dad started talking about his own mother’s apple pie and how amazing it was. This immediately made Annette feel that she was competing against Dad’s mum for the best apple pie. After re-assuring Annette that her apple pie was delicious and rated very favourably with my grandmothers, we started discussing the difference between homemade apple pies and store-bought ones, and why the homemade alternative was far tastier. Annette shared a very cute story about when she served her grandchildren some of her fabulous pie, which they loved. They asked her why it was so yummy, and Annette told them it was because of a secret ingredient.
This special secret ingredient can turn anything, no matter how annoying or unpleasant it may seem, into magic, even a simple walk by the beach. I went for a walk the other day because I felt obliged to. It had been a full day with not a lot of margin for anything else, and even though the weather was beautiful and it should have been a joyful walk, it wasn’t at all. I was far too focused on what I should have done that day and what I should be doing instead of walking, so instead of joy, it was an average experience. The following day the weather was far less appealing, but my walk was an absolute pleasure, and I loved every second of it as it left me feeling refreshed and re-energised. What was the difference? The secret ingredient.
As you may know, I was a proud and blessed dog owner to a beautiful little girl for 14 years until late last year. She was my first dog, apart from dogs my family owned when I was young. Up until that point, I would not like picking up dog poop, cleaning dirty dog butts, or getting licked on the face by a dog. With Joia, all of that changed. Why? The secret ingredient. If you are a parent, I am sure you will understand this, as I can only guess, but before children I am sure crying babies, loud and messy children, and sleepless nights would be something to avoid. When you have children, it is my prediction all that changes, and you start to embrace, and even look forward to, the things that at one time repelled you. Why? The secret ingredient.
As a mentor to authors, I find two different types of attitudes people have as they are writing their book. One attitude is that writing is hard work, a chore, and they find it difficult to get into the zone to get the job done. On the other hand, there are those who just easily flow into writing, and can’t wait for the next opportunity to create something that will inevitably entertain, inspire, and help others. Have a guess what the difference is. Yes, you got it, the secret ingredient. I am thinking by now you are starting to understand what the secret ingredient is.
If you are trying to get yourself in shape and are really struggling to get into a rhythm and motivate yourself to do the simple things you need to do to create change, I believe you are missing the secret ingredient. If work is a chore, relationships are hard, and energy is waning, then you may want to add the secret ingredient. In my podcast this week with Yogi Aaron, called Stop stretching, you will hear the secret ingredient in his voice as he talks with passion about helping people move better and live pain free.
If you are still wondering, which I doubt you are, the secret ingredient is love. It changes everything. It makes food taste better, a walk more joyful, and cleaning a dirty dog-butt or changing a pooey nappy a pleasure. It makes writing a breeze, work a passion, exercise a game, forgiving an easy choice, and anything that seems like a chore, a delight. This is an area I am still working on in my own life, and is a focus for me, as I hope it will be for you. Whatever you do this week, add love to it and watch how it changes the taste, the experience, and the outcome. Add the secret ingredient this week.
by admin | 6 May, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
Why do we take life so seriously? I understand there are times we need to be serious, but at what point did we lose the inner child and the ability to just be silly at any time? I believe life is to be loved, every single day. It does not mean we have to love everything that happens or everything we have to do, but it does mean we can love we are here and that we choose the meaningful life which is available. I want to encourage you this week, if you need it, to find your playful side, because play is not just for children, it is for everyone.
I was meeting a friend last week in her neck-of-the-woods, so I asked for her suggestion as to the best venue. She sent me a link with an address and map reference. I was expecting that we would meet at a café, instead the address was for a park. Well, I’m flexible if nothing else, so I just went with it. When I arrived at the park, there was a really cool playground, and whilst waiting for her to arrive, I started playing. What else would you do at a playground? There was a cool spinny thing, swings, a seesaw, and of course a slide.
When my friend arrived, I of course had to get her to spin with me on the spinny thing, jump on the seesaw (as it was not as much fun alone), and then have a swing together. It was a blast! As we were chatting, I posed a question to her. I asked, why is it that generally only children get to enjoy the playground? Often, when you see parents at the playground with their children, they are standing around talking, and the children are playing. Why don’t the adults play? She said, because the adults have to watch their children. To which I replied, often they don’t even watch the children, they are just talking to other adults. I am sure there are many adults who would love to jump on the play equipment, I can’t be the only one. So, why don’t they? I want to start a campaign today, and with this blog. My goal is to get adults back into play.
I do get it, when we become adults, and certainly parents (not that I know from experience), there are many responsibilities. There are lots of things to consider like; money, safety, work, different and complex relationships, and many other things we have to start thinking about. I just don’t think we should do it at the expense of play. You can be serious and playful. You can be responsible and still have fun. You can be sensible and silly. I think we often make the mistake, as I have, of thinking play is for when all the serious stuff has been done. Why not add playfulness into everything you do?
In the book, The Happiness Advantage, the author, Shawn Achor, based on research, flips the paradigm on the out-dated adage, once we are successful, then we will be happy. What he is actually suggesting is that, when we are happy, then success will follow. My question and challenge for you, should you choose to accept it, is how can you bring play and playfulness into every day and every part of your life to help you live with more joy, be healthier, and more successful? What can you do to bring more play into your home and family life? Could you play more games, get out to the playground more often, create games out of chores, and do fun projects together? How can you bring more play into your workplace? Could you smile more, make games or competition out of achieving work goals, focus on the positive impact your job has on other people’s lives, or find ways to make people smile?
How do you bring play into your financial situation? I can think of lots of ways, such as having fun rewards when you achieve financial goals, feeling the joy of saving money knowing that it is growing your financial strength, and finding fun ways of earning additional income. Bring play into your health and fitness pursuits by participating in sports you love, doing it with friends, feeling joy every time you put healthy food into your body, and going to the playground often. You see, play and joy is free and available to you today, tomorrow, and forever. When you focus on playing, your life will change for the better, trust me.
In my podcast this week with Michelle Powell called Your authentic self, we have a very powerful conversation. From a childhood of abuse to a narcissistic marriage, to losing her children, Michelle is now living a life of joy and helping many people, because she started to focus on her authentic and playful self. It is incredible what can happen when you start adding play into your life. There are times to be serious, and there are definitely more times to be playful, So, remember, play is not just for children, it’s for everyone.
by admin | 15 Apr, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
When we are younger it seems to be more about what we can get. Well, if I am being brutally honest, that was me. Totally selfish and self-absorbed. I really and tragically believed joy came from what I could get for myself. I am grateful for the years, the challenges, and the wisdom, as I now know deep in my heart, my true joy comes from what I can give. And the best news, I have plenty to give. As do you.
You may be sitting and reading this saying, he doesn’t know my situation. I don’t have plenty to give at all. I am struggling to make ends meet financially as it is, how could I give more? I am busy with a full life and don’t have any time to give. If this is you, I can relate, because I have been where you are. I still believe, despite your limitations, you have plenty to give. This simple experience I recently had reinforced it to me.
I had been training one morning and was heading home. As I walked through a local park, there was a man walking his two dogs. He had just arrived and was just letting them off the leash. As soon as one of them saw me, he started bounding towards me with enthusiasm. As the dog approached the owner said, he will want to jump up on you. I said, that is fine, I love dogs. As promised, the dog jumped, licked, and enjoyed some love from me before leaping off to find more adventure. As I walked away, and passed the owner, he said, he will want to jump up and kiss you every time he sees you now. I replied, that is fine, I have plenty of love to give.
As I walked away, this blog came into my mind. That phrase came out of my mouth without any thought or deliberation. I just know inherently, whether I have money in the bank or time to spare or not, I will always have plenty of love to give. So, by the way, do you. I have spoken before about my experience with the homeless, and my realisation that they don’t need me to give them money, they need me to give them recognition and love. I can do that till the cows come home. I was reminded by the guy in the street as I went home to get a book to give him, it wasn’t the book that mattered, it was the fact that I went to the effort to get it and come back. That is something I can give and will give until there is no breath left in my body.
Money can be spent, often on the wrong things. Time can be wasted, and once gone we can never get it back. Love, encouragement, and recognition, once given, will last a lifetime and will start a ripple effect that may well positively impact millions of lives for generations to come. We can all give love, encouragement, and recognition in an unlimited supply because it never runs out.
I am reminded about the letter my Hungarian great grandmother wrote and sent via mail to my mother when she was just 6 years old, in the year 1941. It was a letter written in very poor English by a doting grandmother to her granddaughter and it spilled over with love, encouragement, and beautiful affirmation. My mother kept this letter until the day she died, 63 years later. It was a message that I know impacted her life, and has now impacted mine, and the ripple continues. We all have plenty to give.
In my podcast this week with Dr Jono Taves, called The headache doc, I was amazed and inspired by what this man is giving to help people be headache and migraine free. He recognised that the answer is so much more simple than has been portrayed by many people, and so now he is making a powerful difference all around the world.
Here is my challenge for you today. Pick five people and give generously to them. Not money, not time, not knowledge, not motivation or not anything you may feel you have a limited supply of. Give them something you have in an abundant and endless supply. Give loving words, give encouragement, and give focused attention. Trust me, these things will have a far greater impact on someone’s life than money, for sure. The great news is, when it comes to these things, you have plenty to give.
by admin | 11 Mar, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
We live in a changing world. We live in a world where we need to be careful about anything and everything that comes out of our mouth as to not offend, disrespect, judge, or marginalise any person or persons. I have lived by the mantra of speak-first-think-later for too many years of my life and consequently spent much of my time apologising. But these days it’s much harder, even with the best intentions in mind. That’s why there are times we just need those people we can banter with and not worry about being offensive. There is wonderful beauty in banter.
I can remember the days as a footballer, yes as you can imagine the conversation was very inappropriate. We would just sit around together and banter. We would laugh at ourselves, at each other and, yes, at times say things that were probably not acceptable by today’s standards. But do you know what? We had fun, we laughed, and in my mind, it was a very healthy and joyful way to spend time. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be a footballer again, and I don’t want to be having those same conversations, but my point is that there is incredible beauty in banter.
These days my banter is very different, it is more about finding answers, solving problems, laughing at who I was, finding joy in who I am, and planning who I want to become. To find the right people to have healthy banter with is the secret. I found those two amazing men very randomly, but the bond has become strong and even led us to being on the verge of releasing a new podcast focused on the power of banter. I think the key to me attracting these two men into my life came from a personal desire to be more courageous, live a bolder life, and make a bigger difference.
For just a few months I trained at a Crossfit gym where, if am being completely honest, I was very intimidated by the strength and fitness of many of the members. One of those crazy men was Ossie Khan, who I observed with great respect and intimidation. When I got to know him, that respect went to another level as I found out what he did. A skydiver with almost 10,000 jumps under his belt, a teacher, trainer and jump school owner, a videographer, an entrepreneur, and, to be honest, a crazy individual. Inherently, this was a man I wanted to get to know and learn from.
Through my writing and book journey I have met many wonderful authors, publishers, and people in the industry. The one who always stuck out for me was Adam Wallace. An incredible personality, and even more so, a down-to-earth and genuine guy who I was immediately drawn to. Then I found out more about him and his journey. A man who had struggled with 150 rejections to get his first Children’s book published before he decided to self-publish. Now he is a multiple New York Times best-selling author of many more than 100 books and is doing amazing things.
One day over COVID, a couple of years ago, I had a thought that these two guys would get on well, so I arranged a dinner together. The three of us immediately connected and the banter began. We talked, we laughed, we dreamed, and we solved the problems of the world. The conversation was so easy and stimulating, and the topics were deep and profound with a light-humoured theme. We have met a few times since and the same thing happened, and each time I left feeling light and inspired, so I thought, there is a podcast in this. We are now on the verge of launching the Wally, Ossie, & Jobbas Podcast. If you want to hear a sample of our banter listen to my podcast this week called, surprisingly, Wally Ossie & Jobbas.
My point this week, as I know it sounds like a sales pitch for our new upcoming podcast (and of course it is, LOL) is about the benefits of banter. As we are surrounded by bad news coming at us from every angle, fear of what we can and can’t say and how people will respond, and the noise of the voice in our own head, it is great to have a safe place, with people you love, respect and trust where you can talk, laugh and banter without any fear of offense, judgment or saying the wrong thing. It is a powerfully healing, fun, accepting, and healthy thing to do, so find your tribe and begin the banter today.
by admin | 25 Feb, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
It is my mission, whilst I am here on this planet, to live my best life. The question must be asked, what does that mean? Well, clearly my idea of my best life, and your idea of your best life may be two very different pictures. It doesn’t matter, what does matter is that you know what that life looks like, and more importantly why it is meaningful. For most of my life I have been focussing on what I thought it was about, but I was wrong. The chances are, what you believe it is about, is not actually what it’s about. Confused?
My goal is not to confuse you, in fact, it is the very opposite. I think we all experience confusion before we find clarity. I think we all have to focus on the wrong things before we can identify the right things. I believe experience is our greatest teacher if we look for lessons in the confusion. As I often do, I am writing this blog for me, and if you benefit from it, then I am a happy man. In fact, the things I often think I am doing for myself are not really for me at all. Because what I initially think it’s about, is not what it’s about at all.
I feel like I am confusing you even further, and for that I apologise. Let me ask you a question. Have you ever set out to achieve something and either not stuck it out to full completion, or actually achieved it, and then went backwards? I know I have. In my journey as a personal trainer, I have worked with many people with a goal to lose weight, who either sabotaged their attempts, or achieved their ideal weight and then put the weight back on, with interest. I have in my life, worked hard to build a financial nest egg to then make some really poor financial choices and end up back at square one, or in debt. Do you know what I am talking about? Have you ever experienced that yourself? If so, why is that? Simple, what you and I thought it was about, is not what it was about.
As I was talking to an amazing group of people this week at an event hosted by Mercy Connect in Thurgoona, NSW, my aim was, and is, to help them live a life of joy. We discussed different things we all wanted to achieve. For some, it was weight loss, or was it? For others, it was financial, or was it? For others, it was writing a book, or was it? In my mind, it is NOT about the weight loss, the money, or the book. So, what is it about? That is up to you to work out, and until you do, you will never create permanent positive change in your life.
Do you really want to lose weight? The process is uncomfortable, inconvenient, and at times downright discouraging. Why do so many never follow through to get permanent results? Because they are focused on the wrong thing, the scales. The moment they start to focus on why they want to lose weight, everything changes. They talk about self-worth, confidence, their children, their ability to do more of the things they love, and the impact they can have on others. It was never about weight loss. Do you really want to make more money? Again, it can be a discouraging and painful process. What do you want the money for? Is it to buy back time so you can spend more quality time with family? Is it to help others? Is it to be able to travel or experience wonderful things? Again, it is never about the money.
I never wanted to write a book to be an author. I wanted to save my life. I wanted to impact lives and create a legacy. I wanted to retire from Personal Training and spend my life doing something meaningful every single day. I wanted to diversify my income and get out of debt. It was never about the book, but what the book could help me create. I hope I am starting to make sense. The question I want to encourage you to ask yourself the next time you set a goal to achieve something is this; what is it really about, and why is it important to me? Ask that question, answer it from deep in your heart, and watch what happens in your life.
In my podcast this week with Martin Henry, called Keep moving forward, we discuss the challenges he has had to overcome, including; getting out of massive debt, and dealing with a disease that has and is still affecting his whole family. How has he done it? By simply understanding that what he thought it was about was not what it was about. For Martin and his family, it is about living with joy.
Anything is possible for you. You are good enough. You can do it. All that may be holding you back is simply that you are focussing on the wrong thing. Trust me, when you really know what it is about, everything will change for you.
by admin | 14 Jan, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
In many countries around the world, there has been, and I am sure still are, campaigns that are called Be Seen, Be Safe. It is a safety slogan for potentially dangerous worksites, for road users, for people who are out alone at night, and it’s an important message for all of us. I have just found another application of this saying, and I believe it’s the most important of all. For every one of us, to be safe, we want to be seen. I mean, really be seen by others, as a valuable and important member of society.
I live in a fabulous area of Melbourne. It’s close to the beach, has lots of cool cafes and bars, and a wonderfully diverse population of people. I was walking home recently and passed a man who seemed to want to chat. He was looking a little dishevelled and so I wasn’t sure if he was homeless or just a little lost. Either way, when he started walking with me, if I am being really honest, I was a little nervous. When he asked me where I live, I got a little more anxious. I pointed in the direction of my home and asked him where he lived. He pointed in the opposite direction and kept walking with me.
I was in a little bit of a hurry as I was trying to get home for a Zoom meeting, but he just wanted to chat. He asked me what I did for work, so I told him I did many things to help people, including writing books. He asked me what type of books I write, and so I explained they were in the self-help and personal development genre. He then said, ‘Wow, that’s great. I really need to read one of your books’. When I stopped and asked him why, he said, ‘Well, I am in my mid-fifties, and have a dead-end job, no life, and I am a loser’. At that moment, I thought I knew why I had met this man. His name was Mark, so I said, ‘Mark, can you just wait here for a few minutes?’ He agreed and I went home to get him a copy of my book T.E.A.R.S. of Joy.
About 5 minutes later, I walked back towards him with a copy of my book, thinking about how grateful he would be to receive this gift, and how it could help him in his life. As I got close to him, I noticed he wasn’t looking at the book, he was looking at me and what he said next will impact me for the rest of my life. He said, with surprise and relief in his voice, ‘You actually came back’. He didn’t care about the book. All that mattered to him was that I came back. All he cared about was that finally someone actually saw him and did something that helped him believe that maybe he wasn’t a loser after all.
I am sure this man was used to people trying to get away from him when he started to talk to them, just reinforcing to him that he was worthless. I said to him as I handed him the book, ‘Mark, I am sure you have had some challenges in your life to this point, but it can all change. You are good enough and you can do anything you want. I hope this book can help you’. I shook his hand and left, changed forever. Will he read the book? I don’t know. What I do know is that it was never about the book in the first place, it was always about Mark feeling seen. I haven’t bumped into him since, so I am not sure what has happened. Has he still got the book? Did he read any of it? Has he started changing his belief system? I hope so, but let me tell you who was changed most by that interaction. It was me.
It is now my mission to make every person I walk past, meet, and interact with feel seen and feel important. In fact, I have more stories to share since meeting Mark, and I will talk more about them in a blog or on a podcast soon. My question to you is twofold. How seen do you feel? How are you at helping other people feel seen? You will know, if you struggle to feel seen – and we have all experienced this at some point in our life – it doesn’t feel safe, does it? When we are seen, we feel safe. If you are feeling unseen, please speak up to the people who need to hear this. If you tend to rush through life, as I have for many years, focused on achievement, and focussed on myself, then slow down and take notice of people, all people. The people I have been exposed to recently are the people who are marginalised: homeless, aged, and untidy. They are people, and they are important, and they need to feel seen. Just one gesture, or word, or acknowledgement, or act on your part could change their life. It is such a simple thing, yet leaves an incredible feeling, and I wish it for you.
In this week’s blog called The daily check-in, I speak with couples coach Krista Yaskiw. Whilst her work is primarily targeted towards couples, her message is for everyone, and it’s about the little things we can do, every day to help another person feel seen, and feel safe. If you would be willing to try one thing this week as a result of reading this blog, and that would be to help one person each day feel seen and safe, trust me, you will be the one who most benefits. A new campaign begins, and that campaign is just like the one you have heard about for years, but this ‘be seen, be safe’ campaign will impact more lives that all of the others put together. Use your power this week and enjoy the amazingness you will experience as a result.
