by admin | 15 Apr, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
When we are younger it seems to be more about what we can get. Well, if I am being brutally honest, that was me. Totally selfish and self-absorbed. I really and tragically believed joy came from what I could get for myself. I am grateful for the years, the challenges, and the wisdom, as I now know deep in my heart, my true joy comes from what I can give. And the best news, I have plenty to give. As do you.
You may be sitting and reading this saying, he doesn’t know my situation. I don’t have plenty to give at all. I am struggling to make ends meet financially as it is, how could I give more? I am busy with a full life and don’t have any time to give. If this is you, I can relate, because I have been where you are. I still believe, despite your limitations, you have plenty to give. This simple experience I recently had reinforced it to me.
I had been training one morning and was heading home. As I walked through a local park, there was a man walking his two dogs. He had just arrived and was just letting them off the leash. As soon as one of them saw me, he started bounding towards me with enthusiasm. As the dog approached the owner said, he will want to jump up on you. I said, that is fine, I love dogs. As promised, the dog jumped, licked, and enjoyed some love from me before leaping off to find more adventure. As I walked away, and passed the owner, he said, he will want to jump up and kiss you every time he sees you now. I replied, that is fine, I have plenty of love to give.
As I walked away, this blog came into my mind. That phrase came out of my mouth without any thought or deliberation. I just know inherently, whether I have money in the bank or time to spare or not, I will always have plenty of love to give. So, by the way, do you. I have spoken before about my experience with the homeless, and my realisation that they don’t need me to give them money, they need me to give them recognition and love. I can do that till the cows come home. I was reminded by the guy in the street as I went home to get a book to give him, it wasn’t the book that mattered, it was the fact that I went to the effort to get it and come back. That is something I can give and will give until there is no breath left in my body.
Money can be spent, often on the wrong things. Time can be wasted, and once gone we can never get it back. Love, encouragement, and recognition, once given, will last a lifetime and will start a ripple effect that may well positively impact millions of lives for generations to come. We can all give love, encouragement, and recognition in an unlimited supply because it never runs out.
I am reminded about the letter my Hungarian great grandmother wrote and sent via mail to my mother when she was just 6 years old, in the year 1941. It was a letter written in very poor English by a doting grandmother to her granddaughter and it spilled over with love, encouragement, and beautiful affirmation. My mother kept this letter until the day she died, 63 years later. It was a message that I know impacted her life, and has now impacted mine, and the ripple continues. We all have plenty to give.
In my podcast this week with Dr Jono Taves, called The headache doc, I was amazed and inspired by what this man is giving to help people be headache and migraine free. He recognised that the answer is so much more simple than has been portrayed by many people, and so now he is making a powerful difference all around the world.
Here is my challenge for you today. Pick five people and give generously to them. Not money, not time, not knowledge, not motivation or not anything you may feel you have a limited supply of. Give them something you have in an abundant and endless supply. Give loving words, give encouragement, and give focused attention. Trust me, these things will have a far greater impact on someone’s life than money, for sure. The great news is, when it comes to these things, you have plenty to give.
by admin | 11 Mar, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
We live in a changing world. We live in a world where we need to be careful about anything and everything that comes out of our mouth as to not offend, disrespect, judge, or marginalise any person or persons. I have lived by the mantra of speak-first-think-later for too many years of my life and consequently spent much of my time apologising. But these days it’s much harder, even with the best intentions in mind. That’s why there are times we just need those people we can banter with and not worry about being offensive. There is wonderful beauty in banter.
I can remember the days as a footballer, yes as you can imagine the conversation was very inappropriate. We would just sit around together and banter. We would laugh at ourselves, at each other and, yes, at times say things that were probably not acceptable by today’s standards. But do you know what? We had fun, we laughed, and in my mind, it was a very healthy and joyful way to spend time. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to be a footballer again, and I don’t want to be having those same conversations, but my point is that there is incredible beauty in banter.
These days my banter is very different, it is more about finding answers, solving problems, laughing at who I was, finding joy in who I am, and planning who I want to become. To find the right people to have healthy banter with is the secret. I found those two amazing men very randomly, but the bond has become strong and even led us to being on the verge of releasing a new podcast focused on the power of banter. I think the key to me attracting these two men into my life came from a personal desire to be more courageous, live a bolder life, and make a bigger difference.
For just a few months I trained at a Crossfit gym where, if am being completely honest, I was very intimidated by the strength and fitness of many of the members. One of those crazy men was Ossie Khan, who I observed with great respect and intimidation. When I got to know him, that respect went to another level as I found out what he did. A skydiver with almost 10,000 jumps under his belt, a teacher, trainer and jump school owner, a videographer, an entrepreneur, and, to be honest, a crazy individual. Inherently, this was a man I wanted to get to know and learn from.
Through my writing and book journey I have met many wonderful authors, publishers, and people in the industry. The one who always stuck out for me was Adam Wallace. An incredible personality, and even more so, a down-to-earth and genuine guy who I was immediately drawn to. Then I found out more about him and his journey. A man who had struggled with 150 rejections to get his first Children’s book published before he decided to self-publish. Now he is a multiple New York Times best-selling author of many more than 100 books and is doing amazing things.
One day over COVID, a couple of years ago, I had a thought that these two guys would get on well, so I arranged a dinner together. The three of us immediately connected and the banter began. We talked, we laughed, we dreamed, and we solved the problems of the world. The conversation was so easy and stimulating, and the topics were deep and profound with a light-humoured theme. We have met a few times since and the same thing happened, and each time I left feeling light and inspired, so I thought, there is a podcast in this. We are now on the verge of launching the Wally, Ossie, & Jobbas Podcast. If you want to hear a sample of our banter listen to my podcast this week called, surprisingly, Wally Ossie & Jobbas.
My point this week, as I know it sounds like a sales pitch for our new upcoming podcast (and of course it is, LOL) is about the benefits of banter. As we are surrounded by bad news coming at us from every angle, fear of what we can and can’t say and how people will respond, and the noise of the voice in our own head, it is great to have a safe place, with people you love, respect and trust where you can talk, laugh and banter without any fear of offense, judgment or saying the wrong thing. It is a powerfully healing, fun, accepting, and healthy thing to do, so find your tribe and begin the banter today.
by admin | 25 Feb, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
It is my mission, whilst I am here on this planet, to live my best life. The question must be asked, what does that mean? Well, clearly my idea of my best life, and your idea of your best life may be two very different pictures. It doesn’t matter, what does matter is that you know what that life looks like, and more importantly why it is meaningful. For most of my life I have been focussing on what I thought it was about, but I was wrong. The chances are, what you believe it is about, is not actually what it’s about. Confused?
My goal is not to confuse you, in fact, it is the very opposite. I think we all experience confusion before we find clarity. I think we all have to focus on the wrong things before we can identify the right things. I believe experience is our greatest teacher if we look for lessons in the confusion. As I often do, I am writing this blog for me, and if you benefit from it, then I am a happy man. In fact, the things I often think I am doing for myself are not really for me at all. Because what I initially think it’s about, is not what it’s about at all.
I feel like I am confusing you even further, and for that I apologise. Let me ask you a question. Have you ever set out to achieve something and either not stuck it out to full completion, or actually achieved it, and then went backwards? I know I have. In my journey as a personal trainer, I have worked with many people with a goal to lose weight, who either sabotaged their attempts, or achieved their ideal weight and then put the weight back on, with interest. I have in my life, worked hard to build a financial nest egg to then make some really poor financial choices and end up back at square one, or in debt. Do you know what I am talking about? Have you ever experienced that yourself? If so, why is that? Simple, what you and I thought it was about, is not what it was about.
As I was talking to an amazing group of people this week at an event hosted by Mercy Connect in Thurgoona, NSW, my aim was, and is, to help them live a life of joy. We discussed different things we all wanted to achieve. For some, it was weight loss, or was it? For others, it was financial, or was it? For others, it was writing a book, or was it? In my mind, it is NOT about the weight loss, the money, or the book. So, what is it about? That is up to you to work out, and until you do, you will never create permanent positive change in your life.
Do you really want to lose weight? The process is uncomfortable, inconvenient, and at times downright discouraging. Why do so many never follow through to get permanent results? Because they are focused on the wrong thing, the scales. The moment they start to focus on why they want to lose weight, everything changes. They talk about self-worth, confidence, their children, their ability to do more of the things they love, and the impact they can have on others. It was never about weight loss. Do you really want to make more money? Again, it can be a discouraging and painful process. What do you want the money for? Is it to buy back time so you can spend more quality time with family? Is it to help others? Is it to be able to travel or experience wonderful things? Again, it is never about the money.
I never wanted to write a book to be an author. I wanted to save my life. I wanted to impact lives and create a legacy. I wanted to retire from Personal Training and spend my life doing something meaningful every single day. I wanted to diversify my income and get out of debt. It was never about the book, but what the book could help me create. I hope I am starting to make sense. The question I want to encourage you to ask yourself the next time you set a goal to achieve something is this; what is it really about, and why is it important to me? Ask that question, answer it from deep in your heart, and watch what happens in your life.
In my podcast this week with Martin Henry, called Keep moving forward, we discuss the challenges he has had to overcome, including; getting out of massive debt, and dealing with a disease that has and is still affecting his whole family. How has he done it? By simply understanding that what he thought it was about was not what it was about. For Martin and his family, it is about living with joy.
Anything is possible for you. You are good enough. You can do it. All that may be holding you back is simply that you are focussing on the wrong thing. Trust me, when you really know what it is about, everything will change for you.
by admin | 14 Jan, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
In many countries around the world, there has been, and I am sure still are, campaigns that are called Be Seen, Be Safe. It is a safety slogan for potentially dangerous worksites, for road users, for people who are out alone at night, and it’s an important message for all of us. I have just found another application of this saying, and I believe it’s the most important of all. For every one of us, to be safe, we want to be seen. I mean, really be seen by others, as a valuable and important member of society.
I live in a fabulous area of Melbourne. It’s close to the beach, has lots of cool cafes and bars, and a wonderfully diverse population of people. I was walking home recently and passed a man who seemed to want to chat. He was looking a little dishevelled and so I wasn’t sure if he was homeless or just a little lost. Either way, when he started walking with me, if I am being really honest, I was a little nervous. When he asked me where I live, I got a little more anxious. I pointed in the direction of my home and asked him where he lived. He pointed in the opposite direction and kept walking with me.
I was in a little bit of a hurry as I was trying to get home for a Zoom meeting, but he just wanted to chat. He asked me what I did for work, so I told him I did many things to help people, including writing books. He asked me what type of books I write, and so I explained they were in the self-help and personal development genre. He then said, ‘Wow, that’s great. I really need to read one of your books’. When I stopped and asked him why, he said, ‘Well, I am in my mid-fifties, and have a dead-end job, no life, and I am a loser’. At that moment, I thought I knew why I had met this man. His name was Mark, so I said, ‘Mark, can you just wait here for a few minutes?’ He agreed and I went home to get him a copy of my book T.E.A.R.S. of Joy.
About 5 minutes later, I walked back towards him with a copy of my book, thinking about how grateful he would be to receive this gift, and how it could help him in his life. As I got close to him, I noticed he wasn’t looking at the book, he was looking at me and what he said next will impact me for the rest of my life. He said, with surprise and relief in his voice, ‘You actually came back’. He didn’t care about the book. All that mattered to him was that I came back. All he cared about was that finally someone actually saw him and did something that helped him believe that maybe he wasn’t a loser after all.
I am sure this man was used to people trying to get away from him when he started to talk to them, just reinforcing to him that he was worthless. I said to him as I handed him the book, ‘Mark, I am sure you have had some challenges in your life to this point, but it can all change. You are good enough and you can do anything you want. I hope this book can help you’. I shook his hand and left, changed forever. Will he read the book? I don’t know. What I do know is that it was never about the book in the first place, it was always about Mark feeling seen. I haven’t bumped into him since, so I am not sure what has happened. Has he still got the book? Did he read any of it? Has he started changing his belief system? I hope so, but let me tell you who was changed most by that interaction. It was me.
It is now my mission to make every person I walk past, meet, and interact with feel seen and feel important. In fact, I have more stories to share since meeting Mark, and I will talk more about them in a blog or on a podcast soon. My question to you is twofold. How seen do you feel? How are you at helping other people feel seen? You will know, if you struggle to feel seen – and we have all experienced this at some point in our life – it doesn’t feel safe, does it? When we are seen, we feel safe. If you are feeling unseen, please speak up to the people who need to hear this. If you tend to rush through life, as I have for many years, focused on achievement, and focussed on myself, then slow down and take notice of people, all people. The people I have been exposed to recently are the people who are marginalised: homeless, aged, and untidy. They are people, and they are important, and they need to feel seen. Just one gesture, or word, or acknowledgement, or act on your part could change their life. It is such a simple thing, yet leaves an incredible feeling, and I wish it for you.
In this week’s blog called The daily check-in, I speak with couples coach Krista Yaskiw. Whilst her work is primarily targeted towards couples, her message is for everyone, and it’s about the little things we can do, every day to help another person feel seen, and feel safe. If you would be willing to try one thing this week as a result of reading this blog, and that would be to help one person each day feel seen and safe, trust me, you will be the one who most benefits. A new campaign begins, and that campaign is just like the one you have heard about for years, but this ‘be seen, be safe’ campaign will impact more lives that all of the others put together. Use your power this week and enjoy the amazingness you will experience as a result.
by admin | 24 Dec, 2022 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
It can be a complicated time of the year, or it can be the greatest time of joy, peace, family, and faith. I have had different conversations with different people about what this time means for them and what they believe, and it is amazing the diversity of people, their beliefs, and ways they celebrate, if at all. No matter what you believe, how you celebrate, and whether you give gifts, I want to make one suggestion. Whether you give gifts to other people or not, I want to encourage you to give yourself the gift of you.
Let’s talk about gifts for a moment. Would it be fair to say, for the most part, we give gifts to the people we care about, gifts we believe will add some value and/or joy to their life? Of course, sometimes the gifts we give are just tokens and more out of obligation than real desire to give a great gift. We have all re-gifted, haven’t we? We pass on that thoughtless gift someone gave us and recycle it as a thoughtless gift we give to someone else. If you have never done this, I apologise, and I have to say, you are a wonderful exception.
In this blog, I am referring to those gifts we give and receive that bring incredible joy and value into our lives. The greatest gift I ever gave was a plush pelican toy I presented to my mother just a few days before she passed away. I knew how much she loved pelicans, and so I knew she would love this gift. Surprisingly, it was no easy feat to find a stuffed toy pelican. I drove all over Melbourne, to every department store and toy store I could find for many hours, before I finally found one at the Melbourne Zoo, in their gift shop. When I gave it to her and told her all about the adventure I had been on to find it, the tears in her eyes, the smile on her beautiful face, and the love in her heart was all I needed to know how important that gift was to her.
The greatest gift I have ever received is the one I gave myself. No, it wasn’t my car, and it wasn’t my home. It was me. I gave myself the gift of me. I am sure you are asking, what does that mean? For much of my life, if I had to describe myself as a gift, I would be the thoughtless gift that gets re-gifted. I never valued myself, nor did I feel I was good enough or worthy enough to be loved because of who I was. I always felt I had to be working, productive, achieving, accomplishing, and accumulating to be worthy. In other words, the me I was did not fit the bill as the gift I wanted, so I was always trying to change, improve, and hide the real me. I was trying to re-package and re-gift!
You may be relating to what I am saying right now and also believing that you don’t feel good enough or worthy enough to be successful, happy, and loved. I have to be brutally honest here and, if this is you or anyone you care about, I need you to hear this next part loud and clear. You can never hate yourself into a better person or to a better life. You will never be able to outwork, outachieve, or outlast low self-worth. No matter what you try to do, your inner belief about yourself will come back and rip you down. How do I know this? I have been there too many times, until I finally gave myself the most important gift I could ever give, the gift of me.
I went through a painful but necessary process to understand who I was at the core, why I believed the way I believed, and why I acted the way I did. It was a transformational journey to discover that I am okay, just as I am, and that I am a beautifully flawed human being. Through that understanding came self-acceptance, then self-forgiveness, and soon after, I gave myself the gift of me. By clearing the noise and lies in my head, the conditioning that had ruled my life, and the stereotypes I was hanging on to, I started to recognise the beautiful person I was, and am. I went from hating myself, to accepting myself, to forgiving myself and I can honestly say, right now, I am in love with myself. Not in a boastful and insecure way, but through a deep feeling of self-worth.
This is the greatest gift I have ever received, and I gave it to myself, which means you can give exactly the same gift to yourself. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, or something else at this time of the year, or if you don’t celebrate anything, you can still give yourself this gift. The only reason you need is that you are deserving of living the best life possible. Wow, that is definitely worthy of celebration, and not just once per year, but every single day.
As you give yourself this wonderful gift, you will start desiring to do more for yourself and with yourself. In my amazing podcast this week with Kathy White, called Pants on at 100, we discuss giving yourself the gift of time and space to do yoga, to help you live better, longer and be able to put your own pants on at 100 years of age.
You may not believe it right now, but your existence is evidence of your worthiness. You were created in God’s image. You are here for a purpose. You are perfect, just the way you are. When you can understand this and believe it, then you will be able to give yourself the most precious gift of all, the gift of you.
by admin | 9 Dec, 2022 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
Life is short. That sounds like a throw-away line, and for young people, who believe they will live forever, a hard concept to accept. However, as life marches on despite what we do or don’t do, have or don’t have, and achieve or don’t achieve, it becomes more and more evident and important to accept. No matter what we have done with our lives, when it comes to an inevitable end, I believe loving it is the most important thing. So, the question you may be asking is, how do I love my life? Well, I got given the answer this week.
The answer was not given to me by a human being, because I am not sure many humans actually know. Some people may know intellectually, but knowing doesn’t necessarily translate into experiencing. The answer was provided to me by a three-year-old Labrador, and his owner. I was doing my morning walk through the park to the beach, when I was enthusiastically approached by this very cute dog. As soon as he saw me, he saw a new friend and ran to me with his tail wagging wildly. He jumped up with a massive smile on his face and, he leaned against me as I gave him the attention and the pat he was looking for. After a short time, he spied something exciting and bounded off to explore,
As I chatted with the owner, I found out a little about him and his dog, and he said, referring to the dog, he just loves life. As I walked away, it stuck with me. He just loves life. I kept walking and I passed many people as I went. Each time I passed someone, I would look at them, trying to get eye contact, so I could say good morning. I am sure that very few of these people, and I would have to say that very few people anywhere around the world would say, I love my life. So, the question is, how can dogs do it so easily, when so many humans continually struggle to find joy?
Within the first year of getting my pup Joia, back in 2009, so much did she impact my life, I wrote an ebook called Joia – Living a life of joy through the eyes of a pup. At that time, I would not say I was loving my life. I was stressed, I was fearful, and I was anxious. From the moment of having the dog, things changed dramatically, and I started learning amazing lessons from a dog just a few months old. I will not regurgitate the whole book, if you want it, please let me know and I will send it to you. I do want to highlight three things’ dogs do to help them to love life, which, if we were more deliberate about, would also help us love life.
For dogs, every day is an exciting adventure. New places to go, new people to meet, new smells to experience, and new opportunities to have fun. With a simple shift in attitude and focus, as we wake up in the morning, we can all approach the new day as an exciting adventure. What would happen if we started each day knowing that we will experience something amazing, meet someone incredible, and discover a fabulous opportunity? I bet you would love that day. I know I would.
For dogs, people are a source of joy. Dogs adore their owners, unconditionally. Dogs hold no grudges, and a are just grateful when they get attention, love, and food. Dogs love meeting new people who can give them a pat and they make friends easily because they are genuinely happy to see people. Wouldn’t our world be a better place if we just decided to love unconditionally? Wouldn’t we be happier if we could forgive more easily and be grateful for what we have and what we get? What amazing opportunities would come our way if we just saw every person as a friend who wants to help us in some way? I am sure these things would help you love your life.
For dogs, joy is in the simple things in life. They love sniffing, eating food, chasing balls and sticks, a tummy rub, and just hanging with people they love. Joia loved empty toilet rolls. Every time I sat on the toilet, she would come in a look at me with hope that I would be finished the toilet paper and would give her the empty roll. When I did, she would get so excited, grab it as if she was smoking a cigar and play with it for the rest of the day. How much would we love our life if we could find joy in the things we have every day – the simple things – the most important things? They are all around you, at every moment of every day, you just need to take the time to see them, experience them, and enjoy them.
Speaking about loving life and enjoying the simple things, in my podcast this week with Kelly Myles, called Let’s talk about sex, we discuss one of the greatest pleasures in life, sex! It is an awesome conversation that I encourage you to listen to.
It is a tragedy that so many people believe that loving their lives is conditional on what they own, what they accumulate, how they look, what others think about them, what they achieve, and what they don’t yet have. The ‘I will love my life when’ attitude will keep you separated from loving your life, forever. When you can see that everything you need to love your life is already there, and you can deliberately embrace it, then loving your life will just be the joyful result. Take notice of the next dog you meet, follow its lead, and start loving your life today.
