by admin | 25 Dec, 2020 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
I’m going to make a bold statement right now. In my mind, the reason there are so many unhappy, unhealthy and unfulfilled people in the world is because they were asked the wrong question when they were teenagers, and they keep asking themselves the wrong question. Honestly, how many teenagers have any idea of what they want to do in life? There may be some, but most, like me, have no idea what they want to do. However, I bet they could describe with clarity how they want to live, if they were asked.
As a teenager, I thought I wanted to do one thing and one thing only, to be a famous footballer. My parents didn’t think that’s what I wanted or needed and would continually ask me, ‘Andrew, what do you want to do when you leave school?’ I would tell them, time and time again, ‘I want to be a footballer.’ They loved me and believed I needed an education and were very persistent until I finally relented. I said, ‘Okay, okay, I don’t really care what I do as long as it has something to do with sport.’ I chose to do a Physical Education degree without any concept of where it was leading, because it sounded like ‘sport’ to me.
Well, after my four years of tertiary education, I ended up a teacher.Yikes! That’s not what I wanted to do, and I lasted about four years! I then started asking myself the question, ‘so, what do I want to do now?’ I thought I might want to get into the fitness industry because I liked being fit and healthy, so off I went, and found myself working in a gym which then led me into a personal training career. When I started personal training, I thought I wanted to be a successful personal trainer. Again, I was wrong! I became a successful personal trainer and had no life, as I ended up working from 6am to 9pm as a part owner of a ’successful’ business for 15 years.
Then, as I had learned a lot about and become inspired by nutrition, I thought I wanted to own a café to sell healthy food and educate people. Again, I was horribly wrong. After two years of trying to combine a personal training career with a hospitality business, and working over 100 hours, seven days per week, I found myself with even less of a life and in almost $100,000 debt. At that point I was feeling disillusioned, discouraged and helpless. It was also at that point I finally realised after all these years, at that time I was in my late 30’s, I had been asking myself the wrong question. I had been incorrectly asking myself what I wanted to do, in every case it led me somewhere I didn’t want to be.
So, as I sat with my head-in-my-hands in the debt-ridden café, with no life and with no idea of how to get out of this situation, I asked myself a different question. I asked myself, ‘So Andrew, this is not what you want… how do you actually want to live?’ Immediately, I could see it with clarity. I didn’t have to think about it, research it or postulate over it. I just knew it, because it was in my heart and it was my destiny. I wanted to be making a difference in lives all around the world, I wanted to be financially free. I wanted to be optimally healthy and in a loving relationship. I wanted to be able to travel, speak and inspire. I wanted to be free to choose how I lived my life and spend my time.
By asking that question, my mind opened up to possibility. In fact, it was at that very moment I made what seemed to be the most illogical decision I could make, and I’ve made a few! I decided to write a book. I had no skills, experience, qualifications or time, so why would I make that decision? Because I could see it being the key that unlocks the door for me to be living a life I love. Well, here we are almost 20 years after that crazy decision, I am about to publish my eighth book and I am pretty much living the life of my dreams, the one I visualised when I asked myself that telling question.
This is a long introduction to a pretty simple concept that I hope you will embrace as you reflect on 2020 and launch into 2021. Have you ever asked yourself, how do you want to live? If you did ask yourself this question right now, would you be able to answer it as quickly and clearly as I did when I asked it of myself? If you were able to create clarity about the way you want to live, can you see whether what you are currently doing will lead you there, or not? If not, would it be worth exploring some alternative options, that may not initially seem logical or possible, to help you live a life you love? I truly hope you ask yourself the right question and that you take the action you need to get to be living the way you want to live.
If I have stimulated or agitated something in you as a result of this blog, I would encourage you to listen to my podcast with week with children’s author Adam Wallace, called, ‘Remember death, live forever.’ It’s a wonderful conversation with a man who is living a successful and passionate life and is all about understanding we are only alive for a finite period of time and that a life of passion and purpose is available for us all. We do, however, need to start living, now.
This is my last blog for 2020, a unique year indeed. For me this year, things that I have learned, things I have been forced to change and things that I’ve done have helped me move closer to the life I want to live. 2021 is a blank page for us all, anything is possible, and I wish for you that you make it your best year yet. All I suggest is, before you set any goals or make any news year resolutions, you ask yourself the question, ‘how do I want to live?’
by admin | 19 Dec, 2020 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
There is a wonderful quote, I am unsure who to credit it to, that says; ‘Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift and that’s why we call it the present.’ I want to unpack it a little in this week’s blog, because I can see the answers to a glorious and happy life residing in those nineteen words, if we pay attention to them and take action. In fact, take a leap of faith.
I will come back to the leap of faith shortly, but let’s look at this quote to start with, because it gives power to the idea of a leap of faith. ‘Yesterday is history!’ What is the one thing we know for sure about history, any history? Well, the one thing I know for sure about history is that it is set, and cannot be changed. As much as I may like it to be. That being the case, why do we spend so much time – me included – thinking about it, dwelling on it, regretting it and beating ourselves up over it? Can I make one simple suggestion? Learn from it, forgive yourself (and/or others) if required and let it go, or you will never move forward in life.
‘Tomorrow is a mystery!’ We often try to predict, control and foresee the future, when it’s not possible. We may go to a clairvoyant, palm-reader or other so-called future predictor to tell us how our future will turn out. We may read our star signs and see what we can glean from that. Please hear me on this, our future cannot be predicted, controlled or manipulated, because there are too many elements, out of our control, that will impact it. Can we control the weather? Of course not. How will that potentially impact our plans for tomorrow? Can we control other people? We wish! How will that affect how our tomorrow will turn out? What I’m saying here is, as important as it is to have goals, dreams and clear purpose for your life, spending all your time in the future will make your head explode.
‘Today is a gift, that’s why we call it the present!’ Why is today a gift? I believe for several reasons, and I will just mention two. The first and most important is the gift of life. If you woke up this morning and are looking down on the grass, then you should celebrate. I have often spoken about the miracle of life, and when we think about the miniscule odds of our existence, we should rejoice in every moment we are alive. The second reason is the gift of choice we are given every moment of every day. What do you think will most impact your future and most glorify your past? It’s the choices we get to make in the present. If you can learn from your past and if you are clear on what you want in the future, then the choices you make in the present moment will most profoundly impact your life.
In this moment you don’t need to have all the answers. In this moment you don’t need to understand the process. In this moment, you don’t even need to know the path forward. All you need to do is have the have the courage and make the choice to take the first step… a leap of faith. It is fear in the moment that most stops people, as it has me. Fear from thinking too much about the failures of the past and how they will affect us moving forward and fear of how we can possibly create the future we desire. This fear paralyses most people, except those with faith.
I talk about faith all the time, because to me it’s the most powerful tool we have in our arsenal to live our best life. If the poor choices, mistakes and failures of yesterday are all history that we cannot change, how do we move forward successfully in life without the faith that things can change? If tomorrow is a mystery, and there is no we can accurately predict how things will go or what will challenge us, how do we negotiate that without faith? It is the leap of faith we take in the present moment, not knowing but trusting, that will get you to where you want to be.
I have spoken ad-nauseam about my journey. As I sit here writing this blog, I am living a life of joy, passion and purpose, that I love every moment of. How I got here only makes sense as I look back over the last 18 years to that one fleeting moment I made the illogical decision to write my first book. The leap of faith I took on that day, opened up the path, and each day in each moment the steps of faith I took led me to exactly where I didn’t even know I wanted to be. I am incredibly grateful.
In this week’s podcast called, ‘Just, the next step,’ I speak with Sean O’Leary, who calls himself the ‘Transformed Man.’ Sean started his journey at 135kg (300lbs), had kidney issues, was verging on diabetes and was experiencing pain in pretty much every part of his body. Within 12 weeks, he had dropped five clothes sizes and transformed into a purpose-driven man who is now lean, energised and healthy. At the lowest point, when he made the decision to transform his life, he had no idea how it would happen, and so he started with a leap of faith. He is very clear in explaining that his success did not come from motivation, ability or knowledge of the process, but from just taking the next step. Often, he didn’t know what that step would be, or where it would lead, but his desire to change his life and willingness to keep stepping out in faith helped him to be living his best life.
Faith is trusting in advance that which only makes sense in reverse, says author Phillip Yancey. So, by definition you are not in control. There is a force with you and around you that will lead you to the destination you are after, but you need to let go of the failures of the past and release the need to have all the answers for your future. Trust in God, believe in the universe and just know that if you take a leap of faith, the path will almost magically appear under your feet and lead you to the most amazing life you could ever possibly imagine. Start leaping with faith today.
by admin | 12 Dec, 2020 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
I want to try and shift your paradigm a little this week, if it needs shifting, that is. We live in a society where comparison, public image and wanting acceptance seems to be built into our psyche. Don’t get me wrong, it is awesome to get attention, acknowledgement and recognition from other people for the great things we do. We actually need that. However, I want to encourage you to aim for attention, acknowledgement and recognition from the most important person in your world. Yes, that’s you.
I am one of those people who, for much of my life, couldn’t operate without the attention, validation and acceptance of other people. It was exhausting! When you are constantly chasing people to notice the things you do and achieve, and when you continually require their approval to feel happy, you are in a no-win situation. Thank goodness I have evolved, grown and changed and am now completely happy with myself and can self-validate myself for things I do when no one is watching. In fact, now I get more fulfilment from the things I do that nobody sees than the things I do that gets recognised by other people. Let me tell you that is an awesome place to be.
On Monday mornings, in my neighborhood, we have rubbish collection, so people put their bins out on a Sunday night. Just a few weeks ago, we had some serious wind on a Sunday night that caused some havoc. The next morning, as I was taking Joia for her morning walk at about 6:30am, I observed that many bins had been blown over by the winds from the night before. These fallen bins would not have been emptied because the drivers of the garbage trucks do not take the time to get out, stand each bin up, then use the robotic arm to empty them.
It was only a week or so early when my bin was blown over and not emptied, and it was really annoying because I didn’t haven’t enough room in it for the following weeks rubbish. So on this morning, as I walked Joia, I stopped, stood up bins and replaced rubbish that had fallen out of them. There were probably about 10-15 bins that I picked up and so the walk with Joia took about twice the time. Let me tell you, at that time of the day, no-one was watching, but I felt amazing. In fact, no-one even knew what had happened because when they went out to bring in their emptied bin, they had no idea that the wind had blown it over nor that I had a picked it up again.
Now, I know this does not sound like a very exciting story or big deal, but let me tell you, it is. In my younger years, I would never have done this if people weren’t watching to see what a good person I was. Now, the only person who matters in this equation and needs to see me as a valuable person, is me. The truth is this, the success, happiness, wellbeing and fulfillment you enjoy in your life has much more to do with what you do when no-one is watching than when people are. Honestly, if we wait for people to watch and acknowledge us doing what we need to do to be happy and fulfilled, we will be waiting a long long time! Can I suggest, if you haven’t already, start doing things for only one person’s eyes, yours. Oh, and Gods, if you believe.
I used to live in an untidy house because it was just me and no-one else would see it, now I clean & tidy regularly, for me. I used to train my body and be fit, lean & healthy to be admired by others, now I do it because I love and value myself. I used to crave validation and do things that would feed my fragile ego and now I do things that I believe to be right, whether others are watching, aware or not. I have never been happier, healthier or more fulfilled than I am right now. So, my question, as always, is, what about you? What are you doing to be seen and approved of?
Trust me now as I make some statements. Your health will improve by the things you do when no-one is watching. Your self-esteem will grow when you are able to see the value in yourself, irrespective if anyone is watching. Your financial position will prosper when you start to do little daily things that nobody else sees. Believe it or not, your relationship with a person will flourish more through the things you do when you’re not being observed by them, than when you are. The impact you will have on this world will be a massive ripple effect that starts with the little things you do when no-one is watching.
This week, my friend, try to eliminate the need for approval and validation of others. This week, try to get out of your head and into your heart, as discussed with Sarah Willoughby in this week’s podcast. This week, know in your heart that you are a great person. This week, know that the only person who needs to love, approve and validate you is you. This week, spend your time focusing on doing things that nobody will ever see, but will cause a ripple effect and impact many lives. So, my question is, what are you going to do this week when nobody is watching?
