I want to try and shift your paradigm a little this week, if it needs shifting, that is. We live in a society where comparison, public image and wanting acceptance seems to be built into our psyche. Don’t get me wrong, it is awesome to get attention, acknowledgement and recognition from other people for the great things we do. We actually need that. However, I want to encourage you to aim for attention, acknowledgement and recognition from the most important person in your world. Yes, that’s you.

I am one of those people who, for much of my life, couldn’t operate without the attention, validation and acceptance of other people. It was exhausting! When you are constantly chasing people to notice the things you do and achieve, and when you continually require their approval to feel happy, you are in a no-win situation. Thank goodness I have evolved, grown and changed and am now completely happy with myself and can self-validate myself for things I do when no one is watching. In fact, now I get more fulfilment from the things I do that nobody sees than the things I do that gets recognised by other people. Let me tell you that is an awesome place to be.

On Monday mornings, in my neighborhood, we have rubbish collection, so people put their bins out on a Sunday night. Just a few weeks ago, we had some serious wind on a Sunday night that caused some havoc. The next morning, as I was taking Joia for her morning walk at about 6:30am, I observed that many bins had been blown over by the winds from the night before. These fallen bins would not have been emptied because the drivers of the garbage trucks do not take the time to get out, stand each bin up, then use the robotic arm to empty them.

It was only a week or so early when my bin was blown over and not emptied, and it was really annoying because I didn’t haven’t enough room in it for the following weeks rubbish. So on this morning, as I walked Joia, I stopped, stood up bins and replaced rubbish that had fallen out of them. There were probably about 10-15 bins that I picked up and so the walk with Joia took about twice the time. Let me tell you, at that time of the day, no-one was watching, but I felt amazing. In fact, no-one even knew what had happened because when they went out to bring in their emptied bin, they had no idea that the wind had blown it over nor that I had a picked it up again.

Now, I know this does not sound like a very exciting story or big deal, but let me tell you, it is. In my younger years, I would never have done this if people weren’t watching to see what a good person I was. Now, the only person who matters in this equation and needs to see me as a valuable person, is me. The truth is this, the success, happiness, wellbeing and fulfillment you enjoy in your life has much more to do with what you do when no-one is watching than when people are. Honestly, if we wait for people to watch and acknowledge us doing what we need to do to be happy and fulfilled, we will be waiting a long long time! Can I suggest, if you haven’t already, start doing things for only one person’s eyes, yours. Oh, and Gods, if you believe.

I used to live in an untidy house because it was just me and no-one else would see it, now I clean & tidy regularly, for me. I used to train my body and be fit, lean & healthy to be admired by others, now I do it because I love and value myself. I used to crave validation and do things that would feed my fragile ego and now I do things that I believe to be right, whether others are watching, aware or not. I have never been happier, healthier or more fulfilled than I am right now. So, my question, as always, is, what about you? What are you doing to be seen and approved of?

Trust me now as I make some statements. Your health will improve by the things you do when no-one is watching. Your self-esteem will grow when you are able to see the value in yourself, irrespective if anyone is watching. Your financial position will prosper when you start to do little daily things that nobody else sees. Believe it or not, your relationship with a person will flourish more through the things you do when you’re not being observed by them, than when you are. The impact you will have on this world will be a massive ripple effect that starts with the little things you do when no-one is watching.

This week, my friend, try to eliminate the need for approval and validation of others. This week, try to get out of your head and into your heart, as discussed with Sarah Willoughby in this week’s podcast. This week, know in your heart that you are a great person. This week, know that the only person who needs to love, approve and validate you is you. This week, spend your time focusing on doing things that nobody will ever see, but will cause a ripple effect and impact many lives. So, my question is, what are you going to do this week when nobody is watching?