by admin | 13 Nov, 2020 | Andrew's Blog, Inspiration
When we think of courage we may go to the movies and think of people like Indiana Jones, Wonder Woman or James Bond. Maybe courage for you is displayed by sporting heroes, business leaders, celebrities or other well-known people. I think we would all agree that people like Mother Theresa, Nelson Mandela and Fred Hollow all have amazing courage. I know for me, courage is displayed by many normal people, as they work to overcome undesirable circumstances. Courage is even displayed by people willing to do things that are not easy or comfortable for them. So, the question is; where does courage come from, and, how do we get it?
The greatest misconception about people who display courage is that they are ‘fearless.’ In my opinion, there is no such thing. No-one is truly fearless, however, some people have learned to manage their fear and not let it stop them taking action anyway. The best definition of courage I have heard is from Franklin D Roosevelt, who said; “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the assessment that something else is more important than fear.” For me, this is the essence of courage, taking action even though the fear is present. So, again, the question is, how do we attain courage?
Firstly, I need to tell you that you have the most amazing potential and incredible capacity for achievement. You are capable of doing and achieving anything you choose, if you are willing to take action. I have absolute belief in you and know that you are definitely good enough. So, whatever you want in your life, go for you, you can do it.
Do you know what I just did in that last paragraph? I encouraged you. Let’s have a look at the word ‘encourage’ for a moment. En-Courage means; to put courage in. What I have tried to do is put courage in you, which I hope helps to make you feel a little stronger and more capable. Think about how you feel when someone tells you, ‘you can do it. I believe in you. Go for it, you are good enough.’ It feels great doesn’t it? And, for a moment, it puts courage in you to help you get started on a fearful or challenging journey. In fact, in an experiment was done on people standing in freezing cold water, it was found that those who had someone there to encourage them, were able to tolerate the discomfort for twice as long.
What happens, however, if you don’t have anyone there to encourage you? What if, in fact, you have people discouraging you and telling you, ‘you can’t do it and you are not good enough’? What then? In this week’s podcast, ‘Choose happiness,’ I speak with the inspiring Amanda Webster. Two years ago, Amanda found herself all alone on the window ledge of an out-of-town hotel room, planning to end her life. Thankfully, she is alive today to tell the story. The question is; who brought her down off that ledge and moved her to make the changes in her life that now allow her to help and encourage so many other people? That person was herself! She put courage in herself.
It is great to have other people encourage you, but if you are relying on other people, then you are going to struggle to find the ongoing courage you need to get whatever job you need to get done, done! Rely on yourself! Be the one who puts courage into yourself. Start telling yourself that; you can, you will, you can improve, and you will do what it takes. Tell yourself that you have the god-given potential to overcome, create or achieve whatever you want. Start remembering the things that you have already achieved in your life and start believing that anything is possible for as you move forward after reading this blog.
I will continue to encourage you as much as I can with my books, my blogs, my podcasts and if we ever get the chance to speak, but please don’t rely on me or anyone other than you. On a daily basis, put the courage in yourself with empowering and uplifting words. Tell yourself you can and you will, and with every encouraging, empowering and uplifting word you use, you will put the courage in to go on and live your best life.
by admin | 7 Nov, 2020 | Andrew's Blog, Mindset
Emotions, hey? They can either work for you in an incredibly positively powerful way, or they can take you down and out and turn potential into pulp. Have you noticed how, when you feel strong emotions of empowerment, excitement and determination you go forth and create wonderful change in your life? Have you also noticed how anger, anxiety, bitterness, fear and resentment can immediately lead to action, or inaction as the case may be, which defeats, discourages and destroys? What if I told you, that you were in control of the direction of your emotions and the path your life takes?
Have you ever worn a pair of sunglasses? When you put them on, what happens to the colour of the world you see? It changes, right? What colour does it change to? Whatever the colour of the lens, right? If the lens is green, the world is green. If the lens is brown, the world brown. If you put on glasses with blue lenses, you don’t see red, right? If you go inside a dark room with the sunglasses on, what do you normally do? You probably take them off I imagine. Then what about when you go back outside on a bright and sunny day? Put them back on? I’m sure you do. So, the concept of sunglasses is a pretty simple one to understand, right?
The point I want to make with this seemingly obvious and inane dialogue around sunglasses is that you get to choose the colour of the lens you look through and you also get to change the lens if you want a different colour, or more or less bright. In the same way, your emotional state is light or dark based on the lens you are looking at a certain situation through, and, you also get to change that lens, if you choose to. Isn’t that amazing news? Well, it’s actually great and tragic news. It’s great because, you get to change the lens, change your emotional state and positively change the outcomes in your life. It’s tragic because, if you buy what I am saying, there’s now no one else to blame for the way you feel or the actions you take as a result. D’oh!
The most powerful example I can think of about the impact of the lens, is when I destroyed my professional football career many years ago. Yes, you read that correctly. I destroyed my professional football career, because of the lens I chose to look through. I won’t go into the whole sad story, but I will say the trigger was when I woke up on a Saturday morning two weeks after the end of the season in 1987 and I read in the newspaper that I have been de-listed from the club. I was the wearing the, it’s-not-fair, victim-minded and it’s-your-fault lens. Through that lens, I saw red and became angry, bitter and resentful. As a result, I proceeded to do and say things that destroyed any future potential as a professional athlete.
Now, had I chosen to wear the, self-responsibility, desire-to-improve and gain-constructive feedback lens, I would have felt very differently and taken some very different actions in response to that event. Had I done that, who knows what may have been the long-term result? So, I want to encourage you, this week, to adjust the lens you are looking through if it’s leading to an emotional state that will lead to a choice that you will later regret. Please don’t ever live with regret, it’s no fun and so easily avoided!
When you don’t get the result you want, put on the I’m-good-enough and I’ll-try-again lens. When someone says or does something that is not nice or fair, put on the I-forgive-you and I-hope-you’re-okay lens. When you make a mistake or a poor choice, put on the I-forgive-me and learn-the-lesson lens. I promise, when you choose the right lens, no matter the situation or circumstance, you will create emotions that will strengthen your physical wellbeing and move you into positive and life enhancing action.
It is our emotional state that has the largest impact on the life we live, so a feeling of emotional intelligence and freedom is one we need to cultivate. This week’s podcast, called ‘Finding emotional freedom’ with Mandi Freger, will help if you are struggling with anxiety, stress or other potentially destructive emotions. My friend, the best thing you can do, when confronted with a challenging situation or circumstance – to insure that you respond, don’t react and build, don’t destroy – is to make sure you choose the right lens to look at it through.
