In the quick-fix, fast-paced, and immediate-action world we currently live in, many people who buy into it, are finding themselves faced with more and more challenges. The reality is that reacting costs us and responding pays us. So, with that in mind I want to encourage you to go for the pause that pays.
When I say reacting costs us, I wonder if you know what I am talking about. When you react to the perceived glitz and glamour of the gambling industry, it can cost way more than you have to spend. When you react to emotion in a relationship scenario, it can cost that relationship, or damage it significantly. When you react to a health scare and take a medication or a quick-fix option, it can be at even greater cost to your wellbeing. We have all experienced one or more of these situations, and others, and probably regret the ill-considered decision that led to the loss. Am I right? That being the case, please pay close attention to the pause that pays.
I may come across as someone with incredible emotional maturity and easily able to handle all situations with grace and ease. Ha! I wish! This is still something I struggle with every day. The battle between responding verses reacting confronts me each day I live. There are days I am grateful for the pause that pays, and other times when I suffer the cost of a reaction that ruins. This was a good week for me as a was able to pause before I let my emotions get the better of me and I actually responded in an emotionally mature way. Phew!
I got up one morning last week and did my normal morning routine. Part of that is to check my bank account and track my income and expenses. As I was looking through my credit card transactions, I noticed one from the previous day that was cause for concern. It was not an amount of money I personally paid, for an experience I did not have, at a venue I did not attend. Clearly, in my mind, someone had access to my card and was enjoying themselves at my expense. So, irritated, I rang my bank, they cancelled the card, and then re-issued me a new one. If you have ever cancelled and been re-issued a new card, you will know it is a tedious and time-consuming process. You have to wait for the new card, and then change the details for every service you have set up for automatic payment using that card. I was a little cranky but at least felt safe that no other unauthorised transactions could be made.
In the afternoon, later that day, I received a message from a friend who asked about the card in question, and if it was mine. I had used my card to pay for an experience we had together some time ago and somehow my card had been saved on their account. It was used inadvertently. My friend apologized for the inconvenience. This is where I had to be very careful not to react. In my mind, I was thinking, this would have been information much more useful to me earlier that day, or even better, the day before. As I was considering my response, and very tempted to react, I paused. I thought about what will build and what will erode. If I reacted to my annoyance, I knew it would do damage. However, if I paused and responded, I knew it would be different. So, even though it was hard at the time, I knew it was an honest mistake. I thought about how I would want to be responded to if the roles were reversed and I messaged, these things happen, thanks for letting me know.
As I reflect on this now, several days later, I am so grateful for my response. The pause really paid, as I kept the relationship intact, and I felt good about myself. So, as you move ahead into your day, I want to suggest that, as hard as it may be to withhold the reaction based on how you are feeling in the moment, you will be far better off if you pause, breathe, and think about the consequences. Then respond in a way you would want to be responded to or in a way that will pay off in your life. Angry and want to eat a donut? If you pause, reflect, breathe, and think about the consequences, there is a far better chance you will respond in a healthy way that pays. Feeling helpless and in need of money and tempted to gamble? If you pause, reflect, breathe, and think about the consequences, there is a far better chance you will respond in a way that will be far more profitable in the long-term.
No matter what emotion you experience, and what you are tempted to do, if you pause to think about which decision will enhance your life, and which will destroy it, I hope it helps you make a better decision. In my podcast this week with the magnificent Perry Venakis called, Choice is your legacy, we discuss the many choices we get to make about our health and wellbeing, and how each choice creates the legacy we are leaving. When you pause to think about the legacy you want to leave, I hope it helps you make a decision and take action which moves you forward in your life. Make no mistake about it, the pause most definitely pays.