The word ‘perfection’ gets a bad rap, doesn’t it? Do you know how many books have been written about overcoming perfectionism? Me neither, but it’s a lot! Here are just some of the titles I found; The Gifts of Imperfection, How to Be an Imperfectionist, When Perfect Isn’t Good Enough, The Anxious Perfectionist, Never Good Enough, The Perfection Trap, Overcoming Perfectionism, The Joy of Imperfection, and the list goes on and on and on. What if perfectionism wasn’t the problem? What if the word ‘perfection’ was actually a valuable, empowering, and healthy word? What if all it took was to redefine ‘perfection’, and everything would change?
The current definition of the word ‘perfection’, as defined in the Cambridge Dictionary is; the state of being complete and correct in every way. I think it is fair to say that is an unrealistic, unachievable, and dangerous definition. If that is our aspiration, then we definitely need to read all of the books I listed above. However, if we can redefine ‘perfection’ then it could be a word, not to run from, but one to embrace.
This blog was inspired by a conversation I had with a fabulous client of mine. So, thanks Judie. She, like many people, suffer from what they feel is the affliction of perfectionism. She has been stuck on a chapter in the book she has been writing for some time and blamed her perfectionistic mindset for this situation. She even admitted to me that she is fully aware that perfection is not possible. So, I challenged her. It is true, may I add, that if the definition we are operating with is that we need to be correct in every way, then it is not possible. No one can be that, as much as they think they are or can be. However, what if we look at perfection in a different way?
I asked Judie, is there anyone who does you better than you do? She thought about that rather random question for a moment and said, No. Then, I continued, so, you are the perfect you. That doesn’t mean she is flawless and ‘correct in every way’, but she is the perfect Judie she can be. We then started talking about the chapter she was stuck in, and I explained that trying to edit and make a chapter ‘correct in every way’ when the whole manuscript is not yet finished is a frustrating and tail-chasing task. In other words, not possible. So, I said, why don’t we redefine ‘perfection’ and instead of ‘correct in every way’ we define it as ‘completed as best as possible’ for this stage of the manuscript. How does that sound? I asked. She agreed it sounded much better. So, we changed ‘correct’ to ‘complete’. With the newly defined ‘perfection’ in her mind, she excitedly set off to keep moving and complete the manuscript she had been working on for almost 12 months.
Where do you sit with the word ‘perfection’? I am grateful the need to be flawless and correct in every way is not a value for me. I am far more interested in progress than the soon-to-be-discarded definition of perfection. What about you? If this self-proclaimed affliction of ‘perfection’ is one that is holding you back, then I want to encourage you to redefine it. Let’s make ‘perfection’ something we should all aspire to. For me, perfection is doing and being the very best I can in any situation. For Judie, now, perfection is completing the first draft of her manuscript. Maybe for you, perfection is just being authentically you, no matter how that compares to other people or societal norms. Really perfection can be whatever you define it to be. When you redefine it, it can become a word to run towards, not away from, and it can help you live your very best life.
In my podcast this week called Popping in pink, I speak with the fabulous author, speaker, and transformational coach, Cherie Postill. I can tell you that Cherie’s definition of ‘perfection’ is living a life with enthusiasm and passion. It is a wonderful podcast not to be missed.
I don’t want to downplay the amazing books that have been written on this subject and the value they do add to people’s lives. I do want to encourage everyone, including myself, to challenge the norm, the stereotypes, and the definitions that we just seem to accept even though they do not serve us. The vilified word ‘perfection’ has been beaten up enough. Why do we have to believe and accept a definition that has held human beings back for so long? Why can’t we re-define the word? In fact, why can’t we redefine our lives? It is by redefining perfection that we can redesign our lives. Moving forward, embrace the word ‘perfection’ and give it the meaning that will help to take your life to a new level of joy, fulfillment, and abundance.