by admin | 27 Oct, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
Have you ever found yourself sliding? Have you ever noticed yourself spiralling? Sliding into complaining, and spiralling into blaming? I know I certainly have. In fact, just the other day I started to slide and spiral until I grabbed a hold of myself and made the choice instead to err on the side of gratitude.
Why does it take so much deliberate attention to be positive and grateful, yet we can so easily, without realising, fall into negativity and complaining? I guess it’s like why it takes deliberate focus to get up and exercise, whilst it can be too easy to hit snooze and roll over back into slumber. Well, the other morning I had conquered the alarm to get up to exercise, but that didn’t mean my attitude was immune from spiralling into that all too commonplace.
It is late Spring in Australia, and normally a very beautiful time of the year. The weather is warming, the sun is shining, the flowers are blossoming, the birds are singing, and all should be right in the world. Well, on this particular morning, all was not right in the world. It was not warm, there was no sign of the sun, in fact it was winter. Icy cold wind and rain was blowing in sideways and making it very uncomfortable. I was training at the beach, so the wind was extra windy, and the rain extra cold, and my attitude was sliding.
I had got through my session, I was walking home along the beach, and I was uncharacteristically cranky. What is with this weather? It is supposed to be Spring, and this is more like a yucky winter. I am cold, I am wet, and I am not happy. As this mental dialogue began, and as I was starting to slide, I saw something on the footpath ahead of me. As I got closer, I saw it was a t-shirt lying on the ground, and on it was the word ‘GRATEFUL’. I looked at it, I stopped my slide, and said, Andrew, this is not like you and this t-shirt is definitely a sign. What is there to be grateful for? Do you know what is great about asking the right questions? They change the path of your thoughts, and they unlock answers that can change your state in a heartbeat. That is what happened for me.
I shifted into gratitude. As I looked around, I could see reasons to be grateful everywhere. I am grateful I live near the beach. I am grateful for the friendly dogs I get to pat. I am grateful for the suburb I live in and the home I own. I am grateful for the hot shower I am about to have. I am grateful for the fact that I am waterproof. I am grateful for the rain because we need it. I am grateful for a God who provides everything I need. And, on it went all the way home. When I got there, I felt amazing and knew I was about to have a wonderful day. Guess what? I did!
So, my thought for you this week is a simple one. When you feel yourself starting to slide, err on the side of gratitude. When you ask yourself, what do I have to be grateful for? The answers will start coming. I even find, outside of the obvious things I am grateful for, my mind prompts me to be grateful for my challenges, because they are helping me grow as a person. No matter what may be happening in your life, there is no excuse to not err on the side of gratitude.
In my podcast this week with the wonderful Kelly Myles, called Balancing stress, gratitude is one of the strategies we discuss to help turn unhealthy stress into healthy stress. It is a wonderful conversation, and I am grateful to Kelly for sharing her ideas with me.
It is a simple message this week, but one which will have a profound impact on your life and the lives of people you care about. As a human being, you will experience the whole spectrum of emotions, you can’t stop or change that. What you can control is which emotions you focus on and which you hold onto. This week, and forever more, when in doubt and when you feel yourself sliding, err on the side of gratitude.
by admin | 7 Oct, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
Last week I wrote a non-blog because I was feeling non-plussed. I was trying to gee myself up and force myself into a positive place, and it just wasn’t working. I am glad I gave myself permission to be flat, to have low energy, and to be less productive. Why? Because it allowed me, in my time and space, to get to the point to be ready to bounce back.
There are many ways to describe the concept of ‘bouncing back’. Resilience is probably the most common one these days. You could also use, grit, moxie, determination, persistence, pushing through, or toughing it out. I don’t know about you but, without exception, all of these descriptions are scary, overwhelming, intimidating and seem to suggest that the only way to bounce back is to force the issue. I used to be a firm believer that this was, in fact, the only way to bounce back.
As a footballer, the saying, when one of the players was struggling with keeping up, with some kind of soft tissue injury, or some other stiffness or soreness, was ‘jog it out’. We were fed the crazy idea that you can actually jog out an injury. It became a running joke (pardon the pun). “Did you hear John broke his leg”. “What’s his problem, he should just jog it out”. “Fred just got concussed and was carried off on a stretcher”. “He is so soft, why doesn’t he just jog it out”. We thought this was hilarious, but in fact, I now believe this is a very dangerous mindset when it comes to bouncing back, and to living a happy, healthy, and meaningful life.
Do I believe we all need resilience, grit, moxie, determination, persistence, the mindset to push through and tough it out at times? Absolutely. I don’t think anything great happens by just sitting, praying, visualising, affirming, wishing, or hoping it will just come knocking at your door. We have to get up and work towards what we want with an attitude that exudes, ‘I will do what it takes to make this happen’. However, I now firmly believe we need to honour ourselves. That means celebrate when we are in the zone and making things happen and welcome the times when we may hit the wall and need to fall flat for a while. This is what I have just been experiencing.
It is actually allowing ourselves to be human and understanding that we will experience the whole spectrum of emotions, moods, and energy levels. Instead of judging ourselves when we are feeling flat, I want to encourage you, as I have just done, to accept it, welcome it, and even enjoy it. When you do, the desire to bounce back will come naturally, without berating and forcing yourself to get up and go again when the get up and go again has temporarily got up and gone.
When I think about the most obvious representation of bouncing back, it would have to be the rubber ball. When you drop a rubber ball, it bounces back, right? You don’t have to slam it into the ground or force it to do something it is not designed to do. Inherently, its properties are such that bouncing back is a natural response. Did you know, that as a human being, you also have the same natural property? I don’t mean if you jump off your roof, you will physically bounce back up to where you came from! I mean, it is built into your DNA to find solutions, deal with adversity, overcome challenges, and achieve great things. That being the case, there is no need to force the bounce back, all you need to do is give yourself the time to be down, and process where you are at, then like magic the answers, motivation, and mood will return to get you back and bouncing again.
I know this is true because I have just experienced it for myself. What I did during my down time was resting, my couch got a hammering, I eased off my training, I walked, I noticed, and I spoke to the important people in my life to let them know where I was at. In my heart, I want more for my life and I always want to be moving forward. However, I know the only way to continually move forward, is to stop at times to re-fuel, body, mind, and spirit. If you want to drive your car across the country, you will have to stop at times to re-fuel and service it. Why would we be any different? I spoke with the wonderful Jim Wilson in my podcast this week called ‘Sam’s legacy’. Talk about bouncing back! This is a man who has achieved amazing success in the media, but also experienced incredible heartbreak. He lost his 6-year-old son Sam to brain cancer but has bounced back to use it as a way to impact lives and keep Sam’s legacy alive.
You are an amazing human. I hope you believe that. You are good enough just as you are. You have been created to do more, have more, and be more. You have also been created to have quiet, reflective, and non-productive times. Embrace it when the flat spot comes. Enjoy it, and just know that when you are ready you will naturally come bouncing back.
by admin | 28 Sep, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
I love where ideas come from. I love how they randomly appear when you just allow them in. I love that I don’t always have to be on my game and productive to feel good about myself. I love that I can write a blog about essentially nothing. This is my non-blog.
It sounds random I know, but I am sitting here racking my brains trying to come up with a great subject to write about. Something that will inspire, something that will empower, and something that will entertain. Guess what I came up with? Nothing! I was just about to start berating myself for not being creative, productive, and proactive, which has always been my go-to, when I stopped myself. Why can’t I write a non-blog? I can, and I will.
In life we all go through phases. There are times when I am on-purpose, in-the-flow, and getting stuff done. There are other times when it all just seems like a bit of a struggle, and I feel like a bit of a non-event. I know this is not just me, even though I used to think there was something wrong with me when I felt this way. Now I know I am representing the masses when I say this. I want to remove the stigma of the flat-spots, the low-energy-space, and the non-productive moments. In fact, I want to celebrate the non-events with a non-blog!
If you have ever watched Seinfeld, you will know it is described as a show about nothing, and it is hilarious. Well, my opinion anyway. We spend so much time in our lives trying to be on point, on track, and on target, that we miss out on being on the couch and switched off. Sometimes being on the couch is exactly where you need to be. In fact, after I finish not writing this non-blog, I am going to have a nanna-nap on the couch.
If I am being honest, there are certain parts of my life right now that are not buzzing as I would like them to be. My creativity is feeling a little blocked; hence the non-blog. My energy is a little lagging; hence my desire for a nanna-nap. My motivation is a little lack-lustre; hence I am just about ready to wrap up this non-blog. With all these feelings, which in the past I would have judged and condemned, I am now open to and even celebrating. Why? Because it happens to us all and it is simply part of being a fabulous human being. Don’t fight it, embrace it.
I know it won’t be long before I get my mojo back. Until then I am going to enjoy my down-time, my lack of productivity, my lethargy, and my non-blog. I want to encourage you to do the same when it happens to you. When you feel fabulous, go hard. When you feel flat, give yourself a break. There is so much to learn in life. Every situation, every experience, and every feeling can help us accept ourselves for who we are and what we do, or don’t do. In my podcast this week with Danielle Matthews called, Post traumatic growth, we discuss learning and growing from every situation, even the low spots.
Enough from me, the couch is calling. Enjoy your non-moments, as I have enjoyed not writing my non-blog.
by admin | 23 Sep, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
This week’s blog is a plea. As a human being, I want to be treated with love, respect, honesty, and consideration. What about you? Same? Of course you do. We all want to be treated well because we are all incredibly valuable and important. However, sometimes the way we get treated by others is not that. Sometimes how we treat others, even without intending it, does not lead them to feeling the way we ourselves would like to feel. My plea this week is that we get back to humanity.
This message has come up for me quite a bit lately and has forced me to reflect on my own behaviour and the way I treat others. I wrote a blog a few weeks ago called Pass the simple daily tests. In that blog, I spoke about the simple ways we are tested each day in how we treat other people. Then, in my podcast this week with Adam Wallace called, Time to disrupt, we discussed it as well. Adam made the point that it is a disturbing reflection on society when doing the right thing dealing with other people, is a hack, or a disruption. We both agreed it should just be the way we automatically operate. Sadly, it is not.
Then, this week I was astounded by the inhumane treatment of a beautiful man, and it prompted this plea, and this blog. Let me give you a little background. Last weekend, I did some re-jigging in my home, leaving space on a wall that I knew would look better with some art. With that thought in my mind, I went out on Monday for a meeting. It was walking distance, so that is what I did. As I was walking to the café, I passed an indigenous gentleman sitting on a milk crate in the street painting some beautiful pieces of Aboriginal art. I gave a passing glance at his art as I was walking, and then thought to myself, ‘Hmmm, maybe’.
I went to my appointment, and on my way back I decided to stop and look more closely at the art. I stopped, met Les the artist, looked at his art, asked some questions and decided to buy a piece I knew would look awesome on my wall. I asked how he wanted to be paid, and he said he would take cash or bank transfer. As I had no cash – who does? – I decided to pay by bank transfer. I got out my phone, jumped on my banking app, transferred the money, and showed him the confirmation. Les signed my art and gave it to me, and I went home excited to put it on my wall. It looks amazing, by the way.
Once home, and after I had hung the art, I sat at my computer and immediately an uneasy feeling came over me. I checked my bank account on the computer to find that the payment to Les had been rejected and the money transferred back into my account. I got straight up, no hesitation, and went back to Les to tell him what had happened and try again to pay him. What Les said to me, after I came back and told him what had happened, disturbed, and disgusted me. He looked me in the eye and said, ’Thank you for coming back. You are the only person who has ever come back after a transfer didn’t go through’. It disturbed me that this beautiful man, creating amazing art, had not been paid more than once for his work, because people who owed him money didn’t come back to do it. It disgusted me that there are people in the world who think this is an acceptable way to treat another human.
I paid Les again, I waited until he had evidence that it had hit his bank account, and I walked away with two missions. Mission one, to tell as many people as possible about Les and his amazing art. Mission two, to spread this message of humanity and remind all of us, me included, that treating people with love, respect, honesty, value, and consideration should be an automatic response, not the exception to the rule.
As you go about your day today, you will interact with potentially many people; your family, your friends, the people you pass in the street, the people who serve you in shops, the people who you drive past, and many other people. I would like to encourage you to try something if you are up for a challenge. Could you treat every single person you meet in a loving, kind, respectful, and humane way? Could you smile and say hi? Could you say thank you for something someone did for you? Could you do something to help someone? Could you listen to what someone is saying to you? Could you give a word of praise or encouragement? Could you act with integrity and do what you said you would do?
I know you can. And, when you do, not only will you make someone else’s day, and help them to feel valued and important, but you will bring immeasurable joy into your own life. It is so worth it, so for the sake of this world we live in, let’s spend time every day getting back to humanity.
by admin | 15 Sep, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
I would suspect there are very few people who have not heard the one about the horse who walked in the bar, and as he approached the bar, the barman asked, “Why the long face?” It’s an oldie but a goodie. It is a joke, obviously, however, the same question could be asked of many people, every day, all around the world, why the long face?
I was blessed to spend some time with my wonderful mentors over the last week. I drove with Glenda, who has helped me so much in every area of my life, for a couple of hours to visit Ian & Gill, another couple who have been great friends and mentors to me. They have just recently finished building their dream home on more than 100 acres of land in a beautiful part of Victoria, Australia. When we arrived, we had some lunch and then went for a walk around the property to see their cows, the wild kangaroos, and Gill’s two beautiful horses. One who was very friendly, came for a pat and some loving. While he had a long face, he was certainly a very happy horse.
Ian & Gill, and Glenda, are the epitome of optimism and perspective. Ian & Gill have had many obstacles on their journey to the realisation of their dream home yet have always stayed positive and optimistic that they would get there. They did. Glenda has had more tragedy and adversity in her life than many, yet has the perspective and gratitude in her heart to be able to find the good, no matter how bad the situation may seem. I am continually inspired by these people, and incredibly grateful they are in my life. They help me at times when I have my own long face, to give me the perspective to see that what I may perceive as bad, is actually a blessing.
We live in a society that tends to perpetuate bad news. We may have grown up in an environment that focuses on what is bad. We may have developed self-talk that suggests that we are not enough and things never work out the way we want. This being the case, there are far too many people walking around with the ‘long face’ thinking about what they don’t have, don’t like and is not fair. Seriously folks, it’s time to ask the question of ourselves, why the long face? Did you know that the things you are complaining about, challenged by, feeling sorry for yourself about, may be the things that, with the proper perspective, will transform your life for the better?
If it is true that the adversity in your life may actually be the gift you need to live a happier, healthier, and more meaningful life, then the question stands, why the long face? Get excited. I tell the story too much about running myself and two businesses into the ground, working over 100 hours and seven days per week to find myself in $100,000 debt. That sounds devastating, doesn’t it? And, yes, for a while I had the long-face of a victim. I now know that was the best thing that could have happened to me, because out of that apparent adversity came the idea to write a book, which transformed my life.
If I could offer one piece of advice, as you enjoy your day and the rest of the wonderful gift of life you have in front of you, it would be to ask the question when you feel like things are not going as you would have planned. Ask the question, why the long face? Then, think about the lesson, the gift, or the opportunity that could come from the challenge you may be facing. When you ask the question, what is good about this? You will always get an answer. Then you will realise that there was no need for the long face.
In my podcast this week called Pokies to purpose, I speak with Kate Seselja. If anyone had a reason to have a long face, it was Kate. A poker machine gambling addiction for more than 10 years, resulted in her losing an astronomical amount of money, almost losing her family, and taking her own life. Instead of spiralling into victim-mode, she has now found her purpose which is helping people with gambling issues and advocating against the gambling industry. There was no need for the long face.
As you get on with your day and life, you will experience challenges. That is life as a human. When you do, and as you feel yourself sliding into a blaming, complaining and victim mindset, stop and ask the question, why the long face? Then simply look for the good in the situation, and you will definitely find it.
by admin | 9 Sep, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
We have just celebrated Father’s Day in Australia, and I was grateful I was able to spend time with my dad last Sunday. I understand there are many people who may not know their father, have trouble understanding their father, or may not even like their father. Despite that, I would like to encourage everyone reading this week’s blog, no matter what type of father you have, to be able to say, Thank you, Dad.
I feel very blessed to have the father that I have, and so honouring him, not just on Father’s Day but every day, is an easy thing for me to do. My dad is my favourite man in the world, and I love him with all my heart. My whole life he has been there for me, provided for me, supported me, encouraged me, forgiven me, laughed with me, cried with me, and now, as he moves towards 90 years of age, our bond is getting stronger by the day. For the man you are, for the example you have set for me, and for the things you do and have done for me, I say, thank you, dad.
My other favourite man is Dr Allan Meyer, in fact I may have a man-crush on him! I was privileged to hear him speak at my church last Sunday morning before going and having lunch with my dad. His whole message was to honour thy parents, and he was specifically talking about dads, as it was Father’s Day. He challenged people to focus on the strengths of their father, no matter what type of father he is or was. He encouraged the congregation to focus on the things they would thank him for when they next see him, or if the opportunity ever arose to face him.
As I stated, gratitude and love for my dad is easy, and eternal. However, I do understand it is not like that for everyone. There are people who have been consistently criticised and corrected by their father and have never felt good enough. If that’s you, what can you find to thank him for? There are people who feel abandoned by their father. If that’s you, what can you find to thank him for? There are people who have been abused emotionally, physically, and maybe even sexually by their father. If that’s you, what can you find to thank him for? There are people who have all sorts of reasons to be angry, resentful, bitter, even hateful towards their father. If that’s you, what can you find to thank him for?
It is important to recognise, we are all a product of our environment. We learn our behaviours from our parents and what was exampled to us? Without realising it or even wanting it to be the case, the generational impact of behaviour tends to manifest itself in our lives, just as it did in our father’s life. Could we be more understanding? Could we be more empathetic? Could we be more grateful for the person we have become because of our father? I want to encourage you to pick up the phone, send a message, go for a visit, or if he is not around anymore, send a prayer to say thanks to your dad.
You may be reading this thinking; I have nothing to be thankful for about my dad. If that is you,I would like to challenge you a little. Could you be thankful for your own existence? Without your dad, you wouldn’t be here. Could you be thankful for the positive character traits you have that he passed to you? Could you be thankful for the strength you developed in the process of overcoming the challenges you may have experienced as a child? Could you be thankful for just one little thing you learned from him that has had a positive impact in and on your life. Trust me, if you look for it, you will find it. Why not try it and say; Thank you, Dad.
In my podcast this week called, Role of love, Paul Zolman discusses how he negotiated and overcame the abuse and trauma he experienced as a child from his father, and was able to move out of hate, to forgiveness, and into love. It is a powerful conversation about making lives better.
The reality is that every one of us is human, and each one of us has stuff we must deal with. That being the case, could we have more empathy for others, especially Dad? I hope this blog has resonated with you, and helped you see that, no matter what type of father you have, there is always a reason to say; Thank you, Dad.
