by admin | 18 Oct, 2025 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity, Mindset
Many things have expiry dates. We obviously know not to eat food after its use by date, however, there are many things we may have or do in our lives that have possibly gone well beyond their expiry date. So, this week, I want to encourage you, if anything has gone beyond its expiry date or past it’s used by date, to take it ‘behind the barn’.
I don’t watch a lot of television, but one show I really enjoy is Shark Tank. On the American version, one of the sharks is a man by the name of Kevin O’Leary, a.k.a Mr. Wonderful. He’s very direct, doesn’t mince his words, and at times can come across as insensitive, but I love his honest approach. He has a saying that he uses in most episodes directed at one or more of the entrepreneurs seeking investment. If he believes that the product or service being presented won’t succeed, he suggests to the person that they ‘take it behind the barn and shoot it’.
Yes, that is pretty tough, and insensitive. However, in some cases it’s exactly what needs to happen. For all of us. I have a client, who is also a friend, and we were talking the other day about aspects of her business. There’s one part of her business that, for a long time, she has put time and energy into which hasn’t translated into tangible results. So, in my wisdom, and I use that term loosely, I told her about Mr. Wonderful’s suggestion. I said to her, in a caring and sharing kind of way, maybe it’s time to take it ‘behind the barn’. She seemed to respond positively to the suggestion. By positively I mean she didn’t hang up on me! I honestly believed there were better things, more aligned to her mission, she could be spending time on.
As I reflected on that conversation throughout the day, it occurred to me that possibly this client may not have taken my suggestion in the spirit that I had intended it. In fact, it may have come across as offensive and insulting. So, I called her. I explained my regret and apologised if I had been insensitive in any way. She told me not to worry. In fact, she had had some serious thoughts about this part of her business, and while she wasn’t ready to take it ‘behind the barn’, she did agree she needed to change the way she was doing things. Phew!
After I hung up with her, I smiled, and then I immediately felt an uneasy feeling in the pit of my gut. Why? Because I started thinking about the things in my life that I needed to take ‘behind the barn’. As life happens, mine has become incredibly full of a lot of things. Not all of them are moving me towards the vision of the life I want to live. In fact, they are just taking time and energy and are a distraction to things I could be doing to move me towards creating my dream life.
Tragically, the first thing that came to me was this blog. You may not know it, but I have been writing a blog every week for over 20 years. I never miss a week. That’s over 1000 blogs. I’ve really enjoyed writing these, and in my heart I hope they’re making a difference. However, I really don’t know. And if I’m being honest, the time I spend coming up with an idea, writing it, editing it, uploading it, and posting it, I could use to do things that are more meaningful and purposeful. So, with a heavy heart, I want to let you know that I’m taking this blog ‘behind the barn’. This will be my last blog.
Enough about me. The reality is that the only reason you and I may not be living our dream life is because of the things we need to take ‘behind the barn’ and shoot! As you’re reading this final blog, is anything coming into your heart and mind, you know you should take ‘behind the barn’? Is it limiting beliefs and negative self-talk? Is it something you’re doing that you really don’t know why you’re doing anymore? Is it a job that’s stealing your joy? Is it something you are using as a distraction to what you know you should be doing? Is it a relationship that has gone beyond its use by date? You know what it is? Don’t you?
Let me tell you that it’s a liberating feeling when you make a decision to let something go. Because it creates space for something new, exciting, and purposeful. So, if you are ready for this courageous step, then here is what you can do. Firstly, get very clear on the life you want to live. Secondly, assess all the things in your life to decide if they are or are not contributing to the fulfilment of that life. Thirdly, anything that is not, one at a time, take it ‘behind the barn’ and shoot it. Finally, use that newly available time to do the things that will help you live your best life.
I just want to finish this blog by saying thank you. I am grateful that you read this, and I am grateful if you have commented on how it has helped you. I will never stop sharing my thoughts, stories, and messages with a deep desire to help people live their best life. However, for now, I am taking this blog ‘behind the barn’. Thanks. Love you.
by admin | 10 Oct, 2025 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
Whenever there was a ghost issue, the easiest way to deal with it was to call someone to come and exorcise it. Who are you going to call? I think we all know the answer to that question. The challenge is that The Ghostbusters are fictional, and even if they weren’t, I don’t think they could help with the modern-day phenomenon, referred to as ‘ghosting’. So, it is up to you and me to exorcise the ghosting.
I grew up in a time when you said what you thought. If you liked something you declared it, if you didn’t you spoke up. If you wanted to do something you would be very vocal, if you didn’t, you would simply say no and explain why. It was not always comfortable to say no to people or to disagree with them, but it always resolved any and every situation quickly. I find it very difficult to accept and come to terms with this disturbing behaviour, known as ‘ghosting’.
One description of ghosting comes from www.breeze-wellbeing.com and says:
Ghosting is a type of behaviour when a person simply stops all communication, making the other person question the interactions and connection. It can be painful, cause emotional distress, and leave the person who has been ghosted without closure or an understanding of what went wrong.
Over the last few months, I have been ghosted by several people. Each connection was largely business related in nature, began well, showed lots of promise, and then, without any explanation or warning, each person stopped responding to any and all communication from me. I wouldn’t go as far as to say that they caused me any ‘emotional distress’, however, it is annoying that people don’t have the common courtesy to respond to messages, when all it takes is a simple communication of where they are at. My greatest concern, however, is not about how it affects me, being ghosted, but more the impact it is having on the ‘ghoster’s’ life. I am sure the ‘ghosters’ don’t even realise the destructive impact it is having on them.
This blog is a shout out to anyone who has ever engaged in any ghosting behaviour. My plea is that you will start today to exorcise your ghosting. I do get it, I am empathetic, and there have been occasions in my life when I have resorted to levels of ghosting. It is easier, in the moment, to avoid having an uncomfortable conversation, than to deal with it. The problem with this mindset is that it doesn’t fix anything, it doesn’t help us get stronger, it reinforces fear and insecurity, and it will keep us stuck in life.
One definition of the word ‘exorcise’ is; to free from or rid of an evil spirit, malign influence, or other harmful factor. I do believe ghosting is a fear-based evil spirit. It is born from fear and insecurity, and unless we take action to respond to a person, the evil spirit will take hold and affect every area of life. The second part of this definition talks about malign influence and harmful factors. Ghosting is harmful to the ghoster, as discussed, as well as the ghostee. I am sure no one deliberately wants to hurt, harm, or emotionally distress another person. Yet, in many cases, this is what ghosting does. Are you hearing me??
In my situation, with the people who have and are ghosting me, all I ask for is a response, any response. Not interested? That’s fine, just let me know. Bad timing? Cool, we can chat at another time. Don’t like me or agree with what I say or do? I understand that, please tell me so I can evolve as a human. Never want to see or hear from me ever again? That’s okay, please just tell me. Can you see how simple and powerful communication is, and how it will free you from fear, insecurity and stuckedness? If you are ghosting one person, then you are probably ghosting others. Isn’t that stressful? Wouldn’t you love to just release that negative energy from your heart, body, and mind? All it takes is one message or phone call and the job is done.
You may be reading this, are ghosting someone, and feel embarrassed to reach out because it has been so long. Trust me, they would like to hear from you, as I would love to hear from the people who are ghosting me. I am not angry; I actually really like these people and would just love to know where they are at. Go on, bite the bullet and take the plunge. All it takes is 30 seconds of courage to send a message or make a call and you will heal yourself, help another person, and possibly even restore a relationship that could bless your life.
I urge you to listen to my podcasts this week, I speak with Holly Porter in a podcast called Retreat forward, and to Brandon Barnum in a podcast called Appreciation challenge. I hope they will help you build some inner strength, grow love and appreciation for all people in your life, and move you to start exorcising the ghosting.
by admin | 4 Oct, 2025 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
Pablo Picasso said the following: The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away. So, what he’s saying is that every human has a gift. Yes, that means you. Yes, that also means me. The tragedy is that so many people keep their gift buried deep within, never to explore it, and never to bring it out to see the light of day. This week I want to encourage you, with all my heart, to let the world see.
Over the last week I was privileged to attend and be involved in three book launches. Well done Denise Mokadsi, Sue Carr, and Joel & Troy McRae. One of those book launches was for an amazing brother duo, Joel and Troy, who have written and now published two incredible children’s books. It has been an absolute joy to be able to help them get their books out, and now launched, for the world to see. Their gift is not just their talent, but also an incredible mission to inspire creativity, imagination, and healthy activity in young people.
These are two incredibly humble and introverted young men. When I first met them, I could see they had some doubts about whether or not their books were good enough and could really make it in the world. It’s been such a joy to watch them transform over the last few months. So much work culminated to the point in which we stood together at their launch on Tuesday night, and they were able to speak with such poise, confidence, and passion.
It could’ve been so easy for them to have talked themselves out of it, as so many people do, and for the world to not ever have been able to witness and enjoy the gifts these to have to share. Joel is a wonderful creative writer, and Troy is an incredibly talented illustrator and artist. Together, they’ve created children’s books that will inspire and entertain many young and older people for many years to come. I’m so glad the world gets to see their work and their joy.
Joel and Troy both displayed incredible courage to not just put their books out to the world, but to put themselves out into the public eye as well. What about you? What is the gift that you have, that is individually and inherently yours? Are you letting the world see it? Are you giving it away? Or are you keeping it hidden, buried, and forgotten about? I urge you with all my heart, let the world see.
Is it writing ability, musical ability, or some kind of creativity? Is it your ability to connect with and inspire other people? Is it the love you have for people and the desire to make a difference in their lives? Is it your business aptitude, or your technical ability? Is it just to be the best you can be, so that you can inspire the people around you? You have it, we all have it, it has been gifted to you, and now it’s simply and purposely your responsibility to use it and share it with the world.
There have been so many things in my life that I believed were my gifts. Starting with sporting ability, moving on to my fitness capability, then to the surprising ability I found as a writer. As proud as I am of all those achievements, when I found my true gift, my life changed. It is my desire and ability to empower others and help them feel like they’ve got incredible potential within them to do great things. My gift is my passion, and in any way I can, I will give it away and let the world see. I truly hope you do the same.
In my podcast this week, I speak with the wonderful Gina Yanovitch. It is called Radical acceptance, and it is a truly inspiring conversation about how a mother with a child dealing with Cerebral Palsy can still stand up and let the world see what purpose and inspiration truly is. As you get to the end of this blog and reflect on your gifting, I hope it inspires you. I have said it before and I will say it again; you are amazing, you are enough, and the world needs to know you, hear you, and see you.
by admin | 27 Sep, 2025 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
Here’s an observation; most people walk around with their heads down. What about you? I’m not sure why that’s the case, maybe they’re feeling sad, depressed, lost, alone, or just getting through the day doing the best they can. All I know is this; life gets better when we look up.
When we look down, there’s not much to see other than things that are not that exciting. When I look down, I see my feet, and whilst I like my feet, it’s not doing much for me. When I look down and I see the ground, largely polluted with garbage, it’s quite depressing. When I look down, I start to get pain in the back of my neck. When I look down, I can’t see where I’m going, and I definitely can’t see possibilities that Life has to offer for me. So again, I really want to encourage you to look up.
I remember many years ago flying into Kathmandu, Nepal. I was with a group of friends, and we were going to trek through the Himalayas. As we were approaching and preparing to land, the person I was sitting next to prompted me to have a look at the mountains. I looked out the window, looking down expecting to see them. But when I looked down, I couldn’t see anything except clouds. He elbowed me and said, no not down there, look up. I looked up, way above the plane and the clouds, and there was the peak of Mount Everest and the Himalayas. It was awe inspiring and gave me a shiver up and down my spine.
The other week I had one of those amazing experiences as I was training at the beach one morning. This happens for me only once or twice every single year. I am blessed to see dolphins swim by, only metres from the shore. I looked up and I saw them. Not one, not 2, but three pods of dolphins, and I was so excited.
As I was watching most people walk past, guess where their heads were? Down, in their phones, missing the joy and beauty that was there for them to enjoy if only they looked up. My greatest urge for you this week is to make the most of everything that this beautiful life and world has to offer. The only way you’ll do it is to look up.
Did you know that your mental, emotional and physical state has a lot to do with your posture? Did you know that when you look up, you significantly improve your well-being. When you look up, many things shift. Your mood improves, your concentration improves, you are more creative, and you are able to find and see different perspectives to solve problems. In addition to that, it’s much easier to find moments of awe & wonder, be more mindful, and really connect to the world around.
As you can tell, these things are going to definitely help your physical well-being, your relationship with others, your ability to deal with challenges, and your vision for the future you want to have. All it takes is a decision to look up. Look up to see the beauty that’s around you. Look up to see the sky, the trees, and the different colours that this world provides. Look up to see people‘s faces and the smiles that you can bring to them. Look up and know that you are good enough.
Trust me, when you look up, your life will get better in every respect.
To help you on this journey, please enjoy my two podcasts this week. I speak with Jonathon Aslay in a podcast called Getting the vibe, and I speak with Sue Carr in a podcast called Start from strength. It’s such a simple thing to do, also a simple thing not to do. Be deliberate this week to lift your head, lift your eyes, and look up to see the beauty that’s all around.
by admin | 20 Sep, 2025 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
Have a think about all the people in your life that you consider good friends. Think about all the people in your life who are important to you. Think about all the people in your life you help, do things for, go out of your way for, and invest time, emotion and energy in. Let me ask you a serious question, are you on the top of all of those lists? If not, my goal this week is that you will work on becoming your own best friend.
If you’re anything like me, and several of the people I’ve spoken to this week, their lives are absolutely full of doing for others. They have families they need to be there for. They have jobs to do and people they are responsible for. They have friends who they want to support. There’s nothing wrong with that, however, it leaves people with no time or energy for themselves, Why? Because they feel they are at the bottom of the friendship list. If you don’t prioritise yourself, if you’re not your own best friend, then you may think you are there for others, but you can never be what you want to be for the people in your life.
Putting yourself on the bottom of the list, always doing for others, always feeling you have to be productive, and leaving no time for you is exhausting, right? Not only that, it’s like chasing your shadow, crazy and a fruitless pursuit. Not only that, and here is a powerful one, particularly if you are a parent, you are setting an example and creating a ripple effect that will be copied by people you care about. Is that what you really want? Do you want those most important to you, the ones you are trying to help by running around after, to do the same in their lives? I am sure the answer is no. So, there is only one solution. That solution is to become your own best friend, ahead of your children, ahead of your colleagues, and ahead of all your other friends.
That may be hard to do, as it was for me. I remember days when I was a personal trainer working long hours with no time for me, because I kept thinking I had to do for others, or they would not like me or respect me. I was definitely not my own best friend, in fact, if I am being honest, I was my own worst enemy. I was always overly critical, I never lived up to my own lofty standards, and I really never felt good enough. If I ever rarely took time off, I would feel guilty and would quickly find something to do to be ’productive’ or help others. If things didn’t change for me, I knew it would be only downhill. Do you know what I mean? So, I started on the journey of liking myself, then loving myself, and then becoming my own best friend.
Initially, being my own best friend felt like arrogance and conceit to me. However, what I learned was that being your own best friend doesn’t mean thinking about yourself more, it means thinking more of yourself. Putting myself first seemed selfish. What I came to discover was that it was actually selfless, because it allowed me to have more energy when with others, and it was actually setting an example I hoped people would see. In my own life, prioritising me has helped me build stronger relationships, be healthier, and be more productive. Most importantly it has helped to find purpose and allow me to have a bigger impact on the lives of others.
So, what does it mean to be your own best friend? Great question. It means loving yourself for who you are, not what you do. It means talking to yourself in a way that lifts, encourages, and builds yourself. It means being forgiving and compassionate to yourself. It means prioritising time for yourself. It means taking care of yourself. It means doing things you love to do. It means saying no at certain times. It means making choices that will enhance your self-worth, your health, and your influence on others. It means knowing deep in your heart that by focusing on yourself, by being the best you can be, by being authentically and unashamedly you, by loving yourself, by becoming your own best friend, you are leaving a legacy that will live on for generations.
You are worth it. My two podcasts this week will help you in this area. Christine Sadry and I talk in a podcast called ‘Let it go’, and Andrew Davie and I in a podcast called, ‘Life happens’. You may be thinking to yourself, how can I do this? How can I make time for me when so many people and things depend on me? I understand that thought process. Think about this; the less you do for people, the more they will learn to do for themselves and the sooner you become your own best friend the quicker the people you care about will do the same. Be your own best friend today.
by admin | 26 Jul, 2025 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
The tragedy for so many people – including myself for much of my life – is that they make decisions about what they can do and achieve based on what they already have and where they already are in life. The problem with making these kinds of decisions is that they’re limited by current reality and past experiences. Where you are right now may be tolerable to you, but is it the life of your dreams? If not, I encourage you to think about the possibilities of what it’s like on the other side.
There was a time when running a mile in under four minutes was considered impossible. Based on current and previous attempts, it was believed that there was no physical way a human could run that fast over a mile. All the experts agreed that the muscular structure couldn’t endure it, the lung capacity couldn’t sustain it, and it was an impossibility. Then, in 1954, along came Roger Bannister. He didn’t make his decision based on current reality or past performances, he decided he would explore his capacity and see what was on the other side. The result, he was the first man to ever break the four-minute mile barrier.
Then, guess what happened? In the next 12 months, 37 other people did the thing that was considered impossible, and in the following 12 months another 300 people broke the four-minute barrier for the mile. So, what happened in those two years where 337 people did what just two years earlier was considered impossible? Were they all of a sudden infused with greater lung capacity and muscular endurance? Did the training methods improve dramatically? Was the track surface improved and the quality of footwear of a higher standard?
Maybe a couple of those things happen, but certainly not in that two-year period. What really happened was that people got to see what was possible on the other side. So, where is the other side and what’s there? It’s a wonderful place where you are stronger, more joyful, enjoying the abundance that life has to offer, and is actually just a decision away.
For the last couple of weeks, as I have made reference to, I have faced a barrage of things happening in my life that would be considered undesirable. I won’t go into the gory details, however what I will say is there’s been a couple of times in this period I’ve been affected very heavily. If not for some wonderful people in my life, it would’ve been much more difficult. The thing that has helped me the most is knowing and believing that very soon I would be through it and on the other side. The other side is a wonderful place, and it is ready for you to start enjoying today.
On the other side of conflict is resolution. On the other side of adversity is opportunity. On the other side of a decision is hope. On the other side of a different choice, is a new direction. On the other side of a dark day is a new dawning. On the other side of a storm is a rainbow. No matter where you are right now in your life, no matter what you might be going through, on the other side is something wonderful.
All you need to do is believe it and expect it, and that is not always easy. The other side is really just a decision away, and as soon as the decision is made, you step across to that side. I couldn’t have predicted the path my life was about to take when I was in possibly the darkest place of my life. In $100,000 debt, working seven days per week in two businesses, one failing, and I had no life. I was feeling lost, alone, helpless, hopeless, and as deep into the mud and muck as I could be. In that moment, I started to imagine and visualise what the other side looked like. A life I loved. At that time came an idea, and with that idea a decision. Immediately after that decision, I stepped across to the other side. The decision was to write a book, and the other side was hope that I had the answer. As a result of that one seemingly illogical decision, my path changed, my life changed, and I am today, more than 20 years later, still enjoying the fruits of that decision.
What I am saying here is that the other side is waiting for you. All you have to do is decide and then step across. To help you with this exciting transition, please enjoy my two podcasts this week. I speak with Jeff Bailey in a fabulous podcast called Liberate the mind, and Caroline Trickey in a wonderful podcast called The pause. No matter where you are in life right now, have faith, get excited, make a decision, take a step, and you will be enjoying all the blessings that reside on the other side.
