From familiar to fabulous
We often hear about the comfort-zone, but the reality is that the comfort-zone, for many people, is not comfortable at all. In fact, author and speaker Deborah Stathis, says it this way, “Our comfort-zone usually isn’t even comfortable, it’s just familiar. That which is familiar, isn’t necessarily the best thing for us!” It is so true, what we allow to become familiar, often is not comfortable at all, or the best thing for us. So, are you ready to go from familiar to fabulous?
You may have heard the story of the man sitting on the park bench with his dog sitting next to him. Even though the dog was quietly whimpering away, it didn’t seem to bother the owner. A passer-by who noticed the whimpering dog, stopped and asked the owner, ‘Do you know your dog is whimpering?’ The owner answered, ‘Yes, she’s been doing it all morning.’ The passer-by then asked, ‘What is wrong with her?’ The owner explained, ‘She is sitting on a sharp stone.’ With a confused look, the passer-by then asked, ‘Why doesn’t she get off the stone?’ The owner said, ‘It doesn’t hurt enough!’
The stone was not comfortable for the dog, hence the whimpering, but it became familiar enough to just settle for. Does it sound crazy that, as easy as it would be for the dog to get off the stone, it just sits, stays and whimpers? It does sound ridiculous, doesn’t it? I would, however, ask you to think about something in your life, right now, that may be familiar to you, that you may even complain about, but you have settled in and do nothing to change. Ouch! Are you familiar in a job, that no longer stimulates you, so you whimper about it, when you just need to get up and go find another job? Are you familiar in your financial struggles, often moan about, but don’t get up and look for the myriad of solutions that are out there? Maybe you’re familiar with your lack of energy and ailing health, complain about it, but don’t just get up and start moving towards more energy and better health.
Have I annoyed, agitated or angered you? If so, hopefully to the point of moving you from what is familiarly uncomfortable and starting the process of creating fabulous. In my podcast this week called, ‘An amazing life lies beyond comfort,’ I speak with Australian actor and celebrity, Tim Robards. He has an amazing story of how he transitioned from an Exercise Physiology and Chiropractic career to become a successful actor. He knew the wellness industry intimately and it was familiar to him, but he had a burn inside of him to create a fabulous acting career. He said multiple times in the podcast, he often did things that were unfamiliar, and that terrified him, but every time they led to something great. He never settled for familiar, he wanted fabulous and so he went for it.
Familiar to me was personal training. I had done it for fifteen years and I could do it easily, but it got to the point where it no longer stimulated me, in fact, I began to resent it. I was in my late 30’s and got horrifyingly close to accepting that as my life, just putting up with it yet complaining about it every day. Thank God, I didn’t. I was working too many hours, I was financially unstable and I was always tired, and it was definitely not how I wanted to be living. Whilst it was very familiar, it was also very uncomfortable, So, I asked myself, ‘Andrew, how do you want to live?’ As soon as I asked myself that question, I was clear that I wanted to be healthy, have time and choice, be financially secure, have beautiful relationships, make a difference in the world and be joyfully happy.
Personal training was never going to help me achieve that, so, at that moment in my life, I knew it was time to get off the sharp painful stone. That’s when the most unfamiliar and uncomfortable idea came into my head… to write a book. I had a burning desire to change my life, and I could see an answer, I just had no idea how to do it. So, I got off the stone and started moving, and amazingly, as unfamiliar as it was, the path opened up for me and, I am grateful to say, that I went from familiar to fabulous in a very short period of time. The hardest part was making the decision and taking the first step.
If you are ready to stop whimpering about the stone you are sitting on, then this message is for you. Get a strong vision for the ‘fabulous’ you want to achieve and move it quickly from your head into your heart and then into your gut. Once it’s burning in your gut as a non-negotiable, you are ready to make the decision and take the first step. From that point, moving from familiar to fabulous is a done deal. You deserve fabulous, but it’s not just going to fall in your lap, you will need to get out of the familiar zone and make it happen. You can do it and you will be so glad you did.
Where magic happens…
Have you ever had a magical moment in your life? I’m sure you have. Would you like to have more of them? I’m sure you would. Would you like to know how to create magical moments on a regular basis? Of course you would! Are you sick of me asking obvious and rhetorical questions? Okay, I’ll stop. The key to creating magical moments is to understand that magic isn’t actually required, but living in the common zone of two simple concepts is the key.
Let me illustrate this with my own personal experience. Over the last twelve months there have been many things happening that are out of our control, and I definitely don’t feel the need to list them here, as I’m sure you know exactly what I am talking about. For me, as a speaker, where a large percentage of my income came through standing in front of groups of teenagers in schools, or adults in workplaces, and sharing my ideas, within a heartbeat, and through no fault of my own, all those bookings and that income were ripped from me. I remember, at the time, sliding down the wall in a state of fear and anxiety and laying on the floor in a foetal position for a short time.
In that helpless moment, I was very firmly focused on what I could not control and what I did not want. After a short period of thumb-sucking, dummy-spitting and tantrum-throwing I got up and shifted my focus. I started to think about what was most important and what most mattered to me, and then I started to think about what I could actually control and then… BOOM! I got clear, I got excited and I got into action. Within a very short period of time, I was delivering multiple online presentations to schools, companies and I had more work than before lockdown began. I was doing more of what I loved, I was living more of my purpose, which is to create a wave of wellness around the world and help people live their best lives.
It all happened in the magic zone. It was there where I started focusing on what mattered to me the most and what I was in control of. The second I found myself in that zone, the magic happened for me. This realisation for me, helped me to understand and believe that no circumstances can ever affect the life I live, only I can do that. Because, whilst there are many circumstances out of our control, there are just as many, if not more things, that are in our control. When these things are applied to what matters to you most, that’s where the magic happens.
So, my question to you again is are you ready for more magic moments in your life? If you answered yes, then I am excited for you. I encourage you to think of a situation or area in your life where you would like to experience that magic. Got one? Okay, great. Now, either think about or, even better, write down what about creating this change matters to you. Why is it important? Now, either think about or write down all the things that you are in control of. As you look at both lists, can you see the things that you can control will contribute to what matters to you most? If so, that is where you want to be, because that is where the magic happens.
In my podcast this week, called, ‘Control the controllables,’ I speak with world class diver Laura Hingston about her journey and aspiration to be selected in the World Cup and Olympic teams in Tokyo this year. She told the story about an outdoor training session when she totally misjudged the dive and landing flat on her back. It was a ‘splat’ as she described it! She hurt her back, her ribs and even ripped her skin open, yet despite pain, fear and suggestions that she should retire for the day, five minutes later she was back on the 10m platform to dive again. Why? It was important to her that she got the dive right, and she was in total control of the choice to get up and go again and do it on that day, or risk fear that would grip her if she left that day with the ‘splat’ vision in her mind. As she climbed back up to the top of the platform, she didn’t feel the pain, because she placed herself in the zone where magic happens. She re-dived and nailed it!
I’m not suggesting you need to do a triple twinky off a 10m platform, but I want to encourage you this week to laser your focus on the intersection of what is most important to you and what you are in control of. That, my friend, is where the magic happens.