Winning the inner game

Winning the inner game

by | 29 Aug, 2020 | Andrew's Blog, Wellness

Did you know that your outer world is simply a reflection of what’s happening on the inside of you? Bang! There’s a powerful opening statement for a blog. I know there will be people who disagree with it, maybe even you? How can the Coronavirus be a reflection of what’s happening on the inside? How can the way other people treat ‘me’ be a reflection of what’s happening on the inside? How can my health, finances and the undesirable circumstances I am experiencing, be a reflection of what’s happening on the inside?

I wish life was easier, don’t you? I wish people would all just respond and react the way I wanted them to. I wish that I just had optimal wellbeing without all the effort and discomfort. I wish I was paid more. I wish when I asked for things, people would just say yes. I wish there was no conflict. I wish we could all just love and respect each other and get along. Well, I can wish all I want, but that isn’t going to make things change or people behave the way I think they should. I guess, the good news is that every one of us is in the same situation, right?

That being the case, how come there are some people who thrive in life and other people who struggle? When the same circumstances confront us all and the same opportunities are there for us all, why are some people creating success, whilst others are spiralling into the pits? When we all have access to the same foods and exercise options, why are some people lean, fit and healthy, whilst others have failing health? Now, whilst there may, in some very extreme cases, be extenuating circumstances, I will tell you that the difference between these people is not result of their external circumstances, but very much because of their inner game.

As you may know, I am single again after another failed relationship. It’s not where I had planned to be at this stage of my life, and I have been very tempted to blame external circumstances and people, but instead, and as a result of COVID isolation, I have been forced, as uncomfortable as it has been, to go inside and do some self-evaluation. Wow, it was busy and messy place inside my head, until I went in there and did some spring cleaning. I have looked back at my past, my upbringing, my influences and my relationship history and I can now clearly see the problem. The one person in common with each of these relationships, is me! I can now also see what I need to do from a thinking, self-belief and behaviour point of view. I feel like I am starting to win the inner game, which I know will have a positive long-term impact on my next relationship, whenever that happens.

You have heard the saying, it’s not what happens to you that matters, it’s how you respond, right? That’s your inner game. There are things that are out of your control; COVID, other people’s opinions, the weather, government directives, the economy and many other things, but what you are in control of is your inner game. The people who are successful, happy and healthy in life are not the people with less struggles and challenges, but the people who are winning the inner game. So, what does that mean?

It means that they are able to clear out the noise in their head, focus on what really matters and make decisions that empower them to move forward in life. It means they are able to focus on what they are grateful for, no matter what their circumstances may be. It means they find opportunity when many find problems. It means they can find a lesson in adversity that can help them move forward in life. In other words, it means they have chosen and developed an attitude independent of circumstances.

I have to acknowledge that this can be difficult when life continually throws challenges at us. One of the things I have found incredibly powerful in terms of clearing out the internal noise to help me focus on what’s really important and win the inner game is the ability to silence my mind through meditation. I am grateful to have reconnected with Sara Picken-Brown, who has definitely helped. In fact, in this week’s podcast called Meditation with Sara – Introduction, we discuss the benefits of meditation and she guides a short five minute meditation. But wait, there’s more! Sara will be offering regular guided meditation on my podcast to help us all win our inner game.

Your outer world will always be a reflection of what’s happening on your inside. So, maybe now is the time to start to work on filtering, recalibrating and strengthening your inner voice. When you can win the inner game, the outer successes, relationships and outcomes will take care of themselves. Enjoy the game.

It only matters what you think

It only matters what you think

by | 22 Aug, 2020 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity

We live in a global fishbowl these days, don’t we? With the internet and the many social media platforms, it’s hard to avoid other people’s opinions about the world, current situations and you! The moment you post a blog, a quote, an activity or a picture, you will get people’s reactions and opinions, whether you like them, want them or not. No matter what opinions you get from other people, even those you care about, just know that the only opinion about you that matters, is your own.

If you read last week’s blog, you will know I had a little mishap last Friday. During my regular Friday box-jump session, I slipped and fell, gashing my shin on the sharp edge of the steel outdoor table I was jumping onto. I found myself in emergency, getting x-rayed and then receiving five stitches in my shin to patch up the mess. After posting about it and referring to it in my blog, I was incredibly touched and grateful for the volume of messages, calls and care-packages I received from many wonderful people.

As you will know, if you read my blogs and post about the event, I felt very positive about the whole situation. It was amazing how little pain I experienced and how good the leg felt all week, so, as this Friday approached, I decided I need to get straight back up on that horse and keep the tradition of ‘box-jump Friday’ going. One week after my fall, feeling amazing, still with stitches in my shin, I went and did my session of box-jumps. This time I did them with more focus and attention to great form, and I completed them easily and felt amazing afterwards.

I took a short video and decided to post it on social media, with a very simple, yet profound message; Don’t let falling be the reason why you give up. Get up, learn the lesson, modify your approach and then go again and again and again. I knew, as soon as I posted the video, I would get a variety of responses to my decision to be box-jumping again in a time that, to some, would be considered too soon. Deep down, I was even looking forward to the variety of comments I knew I would receive.

As expected, and grateful for, I got a range of comments from people who were; inspired, impressed, encouraged, caring, surprised, shocked, confused and concerned. What’s the point? It’s that, no matter what you say, write, post or do, people will have a variety of responses and opinions about it. It’s important to know that how people respond or react to the things you say and do, has less to do with you, but more to do with the beliefs and values that they hold true for themselves. In my mind, an ‘opinion’ is an inner belief that has been triggered by an external occurrence. I just came up with that and am pretty impressed with myself.

Just think about an opinion you may hold about what someone else said or did. If it’s a negative opinion, it was because their external words or actions, conflicted with a value and/or triggered an internal belief you hold. Right? That being the case, you will never get everyone to like you, agree with you or accept what you do, because we all have different internal beliefs and values. Therefore, there is only one opinion that matters in your life, and that is yours. As for me, I am proud of myself. I am pumped that, at my age, I am able to box-jump. I am excited about my resilience and willingness to bounce back after a serious fall. What other people think about me, is none of my business.

In my podcast this week, called ‘Embrace your uniqueness,’ I speak with the amazing Natalie Matthews. She is the Founder and CEO of Height of Fashion, a fabulous fashion brand for tall women. She is six feet, three inches tall, loves wearing high heels and is not ashamed or embarrassed to tower above most people, or, worry about what they think about her. Her belief in herself and her self-confidence is inspiring. She is passionate about helping people love themselves, no matter their uniqueness, and, only worry about they think about themselves.

Worrying about what other people think about us is stressful, unhealthy, exhausting and a total waste of your time, ability and potential. You, and only you, know what is right for you. So, trust yourself, believe in your strength, embrace your individuality and do things that help you fulfill your purpose and live your best life, no matter what other people think. Remember, it only matters what you think.