Have you ever noticed that when something happens that affects more than one person, there will often be many different responses to that event or situation? Why is that? If it is the same event that all the people are looking at, how can it elicit multiple responses? The answer is simple; it’s not what you look at that matters, it is what you see that makes the difference.
Okay, so what does that mean? Let’s use a very well-known and over-used situation; COVID. It was the same pandemic that people all around the world were dealing with, yet there were multiple responses. There was anger, frustration, transformation, connection, disconnection, anxiety, fear, gratitude, creativity, and many other reactions. How can one pandemic, the same pandemic, create so many outcomes? Because each and every person saw something different in the same thing we were all looking at. For me, I initially saw what I had lost and could no longer do, which resulted in fear and anxiety. Then, upon reflection, I saw something very different. I saw a chance to recalibrate and re-assess who I was and what I was doing. I saw an opportunity to learn and heal from many hurts. I saw a different way to do business that was much more effective and enjoyable. I saw more time to focus on me, my faith, and the things I was always ‘too busy’ for. I saw joy and I saw gratitude.
These days when I look at things I am very aware of and deliberate about what I see. When there was conflict, I used to see someone else at fault and why it wasn’t fair. Now I see my part in the conflict and how I could improve my approach moving forward. When I missed out on getting a speaking gig or new client, I used to see frustration and anger. Now, I see an opportunity to improve my approach and find a better option. When I used to receive a speeding fine, I would see red; anger with myself and the system. Now, I see gratitude that there is a system trying to reduce traffic accidents and that I can actually afford to pay the fine. When I am deliberate, I can always see something that will enhance my life. So, by the way, can you.
It is fair to say we, as humans, have a tendency to spiral into victim and blame mode far too quickly. Whilst it may give some short-term comfort, it will never help us move forward in life. Victim and blame lead us to… STUCK! I know no-one wants to be stuck, so the only way we can keep moving is to change the way we look at things so we see what will lift and empower us in life. After I read in the newspaper, many years ago, that I was sacked from the St Kilda Football Club, I reacted with anger, blame, and a serious case of victim-thinking. I went and said some things I regret to this day and destroyed any chance of a future professional career with the club. STUCK! After some time and reflection, I looked again and saw freedom from a very stressful environment. I saw the chance to reconnect with the game I used to love. I saw an opportunity to join with an amateur club and a group of amazing men I played with for the next 12 years. I will be grateful for that time in my life for as long as I live.
So, my question to you is what are you looking at now, and most importantly, what do you see? If what you see is causing any angst in your life, I want to encourage you to try to see something different. In your relationship, could you see how you can make it better? With your health, can you see what you can do to get back to optimal wellbeing? Financially, could you see what options there are to gain strength in that area? In your career, can you see what would be required to take it to the next level. You can see all of these things if you open your eyes to really see what is possible.
In my podcast this week with world champion triathlete Jo King, called Baby steps, we discuss how something which looks overwhelming, can be seen as very achievable when we take baby steps each and every day. My greatest encouragement for you is to change the lens by which you are looking at things in your life. When you look at something that seems undesirable, unwanted, and adverse, change the filter. Trust me when I say, you will always find a lesson, a blessing, or an opportunity, if you are very deliberate. The reason is simple, it’s not what you look at, it’s what you see.