Have a think about the building you are sitting in, or near, as you read this blog. It’s an impressive structure that has been constructed by human hands, mostly. I look at buildings and structures all the time, amazed at the ingenuity and talent of the architects, builders and tradies who brought them to life. What amazes me even more, are structures like; the Great Wall of China, the Taj Mahal, the Colosseum and the many other historic structures that were built thousands of years ago, with very primitive tools and a lot of grunt work. These days, buildings can go up in weeks and months, as opposed to, back in the primitive days, when it took years, decades and even centuries. What’s the difference? The tools!
Can you imagine how much quicker the Great Wall of China, the Taj Mahal and the Colosseum would’ve been built if there were; bulldozers, cranes, hoists, power tools, semi-trailers, computers and all the other amazing tools that we have today? It would’ve taken months, instead of centuries. They certainly wouldn’t be as impressive a display of human vision, capacity and endurance, but they would’ve been there much quicker. I dare say the men who did all the heavy lifting would’ve welcomed tools to make their job easier, and, help them to leverage and multiply their efforts.
Let’s face it, these days, can you imagine any type of construction happening without tools? Would a carpenter turn up to build the framework of a house without a hammer or hammer-gun, power drill or an electric screwdriver? Have you ever knocked a nail into a piece of wood? Have you ever decided to save money, not buy a hammer and do it with your bare hand. If you did, it would have taken a long time, and, been painful and very bloody! Crazy idea, isn’t it? Well then, if that is a crazy idea, why is it, when we have so many amazing tools at our disposal to help us do more, be more and create more in our life, we choose not to use them?
From a young age, and with a professional sport and small business background, I developed a strong work ethic. Now, you may be thinking this is a good thing. Well, it is and it isn’t. Have you ever have heard the statement; it’s better to work smarter than work harder? I had heard it, I just didn’t pay too much attention to it. I wore my work-ethic as a badge of honor, and was proud to say I was working seven days and over 100 hours per week. What I wasn’t so happy with, was that within two years of this I was in a lot of pain and very bloodied! I was in close to $100,000 debt and on the verse of physical and mental destruction. I was trying to hammer in the nail with my hand!
Up until that point, I had tried to use all my own effort and all my own knowledge to create significant and abundant change in my life. All I created was; financial, physical, emotional, and relational pain. What I knew and what I could do was never going to get me out of my circumstances. I needed to humble myself and use the many tools that were available for me at that time, I just wasn’t aware of them, or more accurately, I wasn’t open to them. I didn’t know, what I didn’t know, and honestly, I had no idea about the amazing leveraging power of tools.
Learning to leverage…
So, how does a hammer work? I don’t totally understand the science, but the length of the handle and the weight of the head allows you to leverage and multiply your effort, so with just a few strikes on the head of a nail, it is submerged into the wood. What about a crane? Again, something to do with the length of the levers, the smoothness of the pulleys and the power of the motor, means that incredibly heavy objects can be lifted easily. The key word to understand and apply here is… leverage. It was John D. Rockefeller who, in today’s terms was a billionaire, said, ‘I would rather earn 1% off the efforts of 100 people, rather than 100% off my own efforts.’ He is talking about leverage.
When I was at my lowest point and knew things needed to change, I met some people who helped me understand leverage, and, apply it in my own life. I started to get the idea when I decided to write my first book. I knew that, rather than me telling everyone what I knew, if I could write it and get it out to the world, I could leverage and multiple my message. I have now written nine books and sold around 200,000 copies to many people I will never meet. It is absolutely allowing me to leverage my efforts.
As I opened my mind, I started to learn about, and apply, the many tools that were at my disposal. Tools like; a mentor who could help me see things I couldn’t, books that could teach me things I didn’t know, audios I could listen to and get inspired by when I was driving and technology that could help me get my message out. I decided to overcome my ego and became humble enough to ask for help when I needed it. I started to tap into and utilise the powerful tools that I held inside me, tools like, faith, certainty, belief and gratitude. The second I started allowing myself to be led, opening myself to learn and choosing positive thoughts and emotions, my life transformed… fast. Within 2 years, not only was I out of debt, I was retired from an 80-hour a week personal training career and was a full-time author and speaker. It was my dream come true.
Do you know what amazing tools you have access to? Do you know where to find them? Do you know how to use them? Do you understand the power and transformation that will occur when you do? There are people who want to help you, if you would just ask. There are systems already in place to help you get what you want, so you don’t have to re-invent the wheel. You can collaborate with people and share the load. There are apps, online platforms and technological breakthroughs happening on a daily basis that can help you leverage your time. There are many tools available to you, and, just as it’s crazy to try and force a nail into wood with your hand, it’s equally as crazy to aspire to great things in life without using the tools available.
The most incredible tool, that you own, rests between your two ears and, if you use it correctly will open doors to a life you have no idea ever existed. Use your mind to help you, not harm you. Why not have more faith that things will work out? Why not start working on the belief that you are good enough to achieve what you want, one step at a time? Why not expect you will be successful, instead of unsuccessful? It takes no more effort. Why not chose to focus on what you want and what you are grateful for? All of these mental choices are tools that will powerfully leverage and propel you on to amazing things in your life.
If you’re at this stage of the blog, I may be preaching to the converted, as you already understand the tool of reading, learning and leveraging the experience of others. If you’re not effectively utilising the tools that are available to you, I want to challenge you to start thinking how you can introduce them into your life. The next time you are slogging away, trying to do something all by yourself, I want you to think about how stupid it is to try and drive a nail into a piece of wood with your bare hand, because that’s effectively what you are doing. Ouch! You have got them, so please for your own sake, use the tools available.
Do you honestly think the cat cares what others think about it, as it focuses on the fish in the bowl, and getting a quick snack? I think not! Do you really believe a toddler is worried about the opinions of others as he or she strives to take that first step, yet falls time and time again? I know that’s not the case. I know for a fact that my dog, Joia, does not care what my opinion of her is, when she barks to be let out for a wee at 2am. This being the case, why are so many people more concerned about what other people think about them, and then allow those opinions to stop them from focusing on the thing or things that will most bless their lives?
I, like many people, care about other people’s opinions… far too much. I was born into a loving family and experienced what many describe as, the middle-child syndrome. My older brother was smart, talented and well behaved. I distinctly remember at primary school being reprimanded and then asked by my teacher, who had taught my brother in previous years, why I couldn’t be more like him. Then my little sister was born, and my troubles really started. She was so ridiculously cute, that everyone poured attention her way. So, here was I, stuck in the middle of a goody-two-shoes brother and gorgeously cute sister thinking, ‘what about me?’
If you are a middle child, you may relate to what I’m saying here, and that is; I would do almost anything for attention and approval, and, what others thought about me was important. I was so in need of attention, it motivated me to make decisions that seemed totally illogical, just to get attention. The only reason I aspired to and played senior professional football was because I saw it as a way to be noticed and approved of. That desire drove me through many challenges and setbacks to make it to the top level in that sport.
I was involved, as a player, in professional football for seven years, starting at the age of sixteen through to the age of twenty-three. My career spanned from, the last years of my secondary schooling, all through my tertiary education, and into my early career as a teacher. The life of a professional sportsperson is one of much sacrifice, if making it to a high level of success is the goal. Going out late at night, drinking alcohol and poor food choices need to be curtailed, if ultimate achievement is the aspiration. Now, when you are in your teens and early twenties, the greatest challenge is peer group pressure and succumbing to the opinions of others. Well, it was for me anyway.
My four year tertiary education was where my downfall, as a long-term athlete, was beginning to spiral. I wasn’t strong enough to withstand the pressure from my peers to abstain from nights of excessive alcoholic consumption. The opinions of my mates were more important, at that time, than trying to withstand and resist their ridicule and comments about me. So, I capitulated and lost focus of my objective to be a fabulously successful footballer for many years to come. I woke up one Saturday, two weeks after the end of the season, and having played in a grand final for the club, to read in the newspaper that I had been de-listed. The literal translation is, I was sacked!
What people think about me is none of my business!
This was a devastating time of my life, and one I didn’t come to terms with for many years. I was young and dumb and couldn’t accept that it was my fault I was sacked. I couldn’t see that it was because my determined focus had shifted, and my vulnerability to the opinions of other people had resulted in compromising the one real objective in my life, at that time. As I write this, I have mixed emotions. Looking back, I’m actually grateful I didn’t continue in professional sport, because maybe if I had, I wouldn’t have discovered my true purpose. On the other hand, I always wonder, if I stayed focused on that objective, how far I could have got. Well, I can’t change the past, I can only l learn the lessons and use them to guide my future.
The main lesson is that you can either focus on opinions or objectives, and, focusing on the wrong opinions of others will lead to regret. You see, what I have realised is that if I listen to people, I will live like them, and I can tell you, I don’t want to live like most people. Therefore, their opinion of me and what they think I should do is not only irrelevant, but, none of my business.
Now, over to you. If you are reading my blogs, it’s not because you have nothing better to do with your time, right? I’m guessing it’s because you have aspirations and objectives in life. Am I correct? That being the case, I have a question for you; will you focus on your objective or the opinions of others? If you focus on your objective, anything is possible and the sky is the limit. If you focus on the negative opinions of others you will crash and burn, of that I am certain.
Other people’s opinions can cause doubt and confusion, if you listen to them. They can take your eyes off the focus of your aspiration. So, with my strongest encouragement, I urge you to put on your blinkers, put plugs in your ears and run hard at your objective. Then, to support it and protect yourself; read positive books, listen to empowering audios and associate with successful and supportive people, every single day. This will give you an impenetrable suit of armor that will guard you from the words, attitudes and opinions of ignorant people who think they are giving you sound advice, when really it’s not advice, just a lot of sound! I was just listening to my daily audio the other day, and the speaker said this; when your vision gets clearer, your options get fewer.
What he meant was, when you get totally and laser focused on what you want, you are not distracted by the external noise of the world and the opinions of others. I can totally vouch for that. In the early stages of working and slogging my way to the top as a professional footballer, I was so focussed on making it, I had no interest of what others thought about the fact that I was too skinny and not that talented. When I decided to write a book and become a successful best-selling author, I was so obsessed with navigating the process to get it done, I didn’t hear the opinions of naysayers about my lack of time, experience and qualifications as a writer.
Wouldn’t it be a tragedy if you gave up on your objective because of the opinion of someone who has no vested interest in you, your life or your success? Wouldn’t it be a devastating shame if you listened to someone who really had no idea what they were talking about, and, you handed your dream to them and allowed them to flush it down the toilet? That’s exactly what you are doing when you listen to, even the most well-meaning, opinions of others. Are you ready to fight? Are you ready to win? If you are, then always remember; the objective is more important than opinion!
Your brain is the most sophisticated and complex structure in your body, and, on the planet. No other computer can come even close to doing what it can do. Your brain can imagine any possibility, solve any problem, create any outcome, overcome any adversity, heal any illness and guide you to any destination. It has the power to do the most incredibly wonderful things, however, it also has the power to take you down a path that you will regret, have regretted, or, are regretting. The key to using the amazing power of the brain, is to use it wisely and effectively. Get in, get focused and get out again.
It’s a busy and messy place in my head, and, not a place I want to spend too much time. Why is it we’re are often so self-critical and overly analytical? Have you ever heard the saying, if you spoke to your friends the same way you spoke to yourself, you’d possibly be a very lonely person?Like many, I can be very tough and harsh on myself at times. When I lose my keys, I’m an idiot. When I say something I maybe shouldn’t have said, I am stupid and unthinking. When I miss a goal or don’t get the results I want, I am hopeless and should just give up. If I tried and failed something before, I may as well not even try. Are you relating to any of this so far?
I work, and have worked, with many people over the last 30 years, on their health & fitness, in business and on becoming best-selling authors. The tragedy is that the vast majority, and I mean 80-90%, of people do not achieve the results they visualised, spoke about and started working towards when they began their journey. Why? They fell into that old mistake of thinking that they were the best person to solve their challenges, issues and problems. They went into and spend too much time in their own head.
Albert Einstein said; We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. In other words, where we are in life, good or bad, is due to our thinking, and, unless we change that thinking, we will stay in exactly the same place. This leads on to the other famous Albert Einstein quote, Insanity is doing the same things over and over again, and, expecting different results.
I want to make this very clear to you, and I; the longer we spend in our own head, with our limiting beliefs and flawed thinking, the longer we will stay stuck, frustrated and living a life far short of what is destined for us. The simple secret, then, if spending too much time in your own head is a bad thing, is to get in and then get straight out again, as quickly as possible.
The head steers the ships, the heart fuels the journey!
Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you need to avoid being in your head, and that it’s not a place you should spend some time. You will come up with amazing ideas, you will get inspiration, you will solve problems and you will achieve amazing things, based on the thoughts you choose and nurture. I guess what I’m saying here is; use your brain wisely and then get into motion to make things happen. The thought gives you the destination you want to reach and helps you determine the direction you need to take, but make no mistake, it’s your heart that will drive you to reaching it.
I will have to talk about myself again, at this point. Why? Because I know me really well, and, whilst I’m sure you’ve heard these stories before, the message is powerful and needs reinforcing. My greatest character trait, and maybe worst at the same time, is my spontaneity. I don’t spend a lot of time in my head, and the few times I do, I often self-sabotage myself. In other words, I think about something I want and then, without any over-analysis, I get excited and get moving. In other other words, I spend a short time in my head developing the idea and then allow the feelings in my heart to drive me into action. The initial action always reinforces the feeling, and, that cycle keeps me going until I am successful. My head got me started, but my heart fuelled the journey.
The two obvious and over-used examples involve my unlikely sporting and writing successes. I am an unlikely athlete and an accidental author. Unlikely athlete because I was significantly physically and ability deficient when, as a teenager, I thought about becoming a professional footballer. I spent just a very short time in my head, to visualise it and decide I would achieve it, then I moved straight to my heart, where the feelings and desire was strong enough to keep me doing what I needed to do to play Australian Football at the highest level. I am an accidental author because, at the time I spent a fleeting moment in my head to formulate the idea to become an author, I was time-poor, unqualified, and totally clueless about what it would take to write a book. Then, again, I moved quickly out of my head and into my heart, where the feelings and desire were strong enough to keep me doing what I needed to do to become a bestselling author.
So, are you ready for my simple and foolproof formula for success in any area of your life? Good, it is this; allow your mind to visualise what you want, and what the first step you need to take is, then, very quickly move out of your head and into your heart where the powerful positive emotions will move you to get the job done. That’s it! Do you want to be leaner and healthier? Can you visualise it? Do you know the first step to take? Great, then get out of your head and get emotionally committed to; feeling better, being a better parent, being better in your career and creating positive change in your life. If those feelings don’t get you moving and successful, nothing will. The same process will gain you success in; relationships, your career, your financial situation and any other aspiration you can create in your brain.
The challenge is that you must resist the urge to go back into your head for too long. That’s where the doubts, fears and troubles will start. Erroneous over-analysis, before you have even started, is what will sabotage you, if you let it get out of control. This’s why a mentor or trusted friend is essential to help keep you out of your head, and, in your heart where the magic happens.
The idea is in your head, but the inspiration is in your heart. Use your mind to imagine wonderful things for your life. Allow your mind to focus your attention on what is most important for and desired by you. Let your mind help you map out the first step. Then, stop over-thinking, move it from your head and hand it over to your heart. Your brain is an amazingly complex and sophisticated computer, so, get inside your head, use that computer to create something great, then get out again, take emotion-based action and watch what happens.
Have you ever had one of those days? You know the ones… when things just all go horribly wrong? When you allow people to disappoint you, when something you were hoping for falls through and when you have an unnecessary conflict with another person? One of those days, you get to end of feeling discouraged, confused and disconcerted? Well, I’ve just had one of those days. It’s taken a little while to process and get over, and, the best advice I got from my mentor was to just shake it off and move on.
Just so you know, it wasn’t a ‘bad day’, it was, as I like to call it, a ‘personal growth day’. It was a ‘tolerance and patience’ day. It was a ‘forgiveness’ day. It was a ‘learn some valuable lessons’ day. It’s easy to say that now, looking back, but let me say that, whilst in the midst of it, I did not feel like displaying patience, tolerance, forgiveness or learning any lesson. I wanted to blame, suck my thumb, feel sorry for myself and throw a good old-fashioned tantrum!
It all started when I got a message from a business associate with news that was not good for them or me. I felt deflated. Not long afterwards, I received an email from a person I was proposing to come and do a series of talks, I really wanted to do, which stated they wouldn’t be going ahead. I felt discouraged and I started doubting myself. Then to top off my morning, I had a really confronting conversation with someone who was angry with me. It was a conflict that really shocked and disappointed me. I was disappointed in myself for allowing it to get to this point of conflict. At this point, I felt like going back to bed and not getting up again.
Three strikes, and normally you would be out, but I refused to let these things take me down. Having said that, I did feel sick in my stomach, and, quite discouraged about life, for a period of time. The most disturbing thing for me, and maybe for you also, is that we tend to focus way too much on what’s not going well, and just gloss over all the incredible things that are happening. I’m not immune to this. As I sit here writing this blog and thinking about my life at the moment, I am super excited about what’s happening. I have so many more wonderful things happening, than upsetting things, so why do I get so affected by the negatives? You may ask yourself the same question. Then the other morning, I was talking to my mentor and telling him about my ‘personal growth day’, and he simply encouraged me to shake it off and move on. So, I did!
Some simple ‘shaking it off’ strategies!
Shaking off negative thoughts and feelings is far easier said than done, but is possible, and, can be done quite quickly with some strategies up your sleeve. I love watching wet dogs shake off the excess water. Have you ever taken the time to study how they do it? They start with their head and build momentum as the shaking moves to their front legs, their body, their back legs and all the way to their tail. They then start all over again and keep repeating until they have removed all excess water. It’s a very complex and comprehensive procedure. So, all we need to do, is just shake every possible thing we can shake.
My shaking process started with talking to someone I trusted about the situation and getting a different perspective. My mentor helped me to look at things outside the few challenging circumstances that had occurred, and as a result, I was able to fix my eyes on all the wonderful things in my life, and realise how truly blessed I am. This then got me focused on all of the things in my life that I’m grateful for. There is something about gratitude that will transform any negative situation in a heartbeat. Just indulge me for a moment and try this; spend the next 60 seconds thinking about everything you are truly grateful for in your life. Go on, I dare you! Did you do it? If you did, how do you feel? I just did it and feel amazingly peaceful and happy. If you didn’t do it, that’s okay, you can stay miserable if you like, it’s your choice!
As my shaking started to gather some momentum, I decided to look at each scenario to discover what positives I could take out of each of them. I was able to see how I could have handled each situation better, what I will do differently next time and, honestly, how, in the big picture, none of them were worth stressing over. What a powerful relief that was. It helped me find solutions, fine-tune my next approach and identify what was really important in my life. The most important part of this step in the shaking process is, once peace has been made, lessons have been learned and solutions have been found, then… let the negatives go.
One thing I have learnt about conflict, over many years, is that when you win an argument, you really lose. You see, people have their own opinion and perspective about what they believe, and, telling them and proving to them they are wrong, does not endear them to you, nor does it make you feel better. I actually feel worse after conflict when I’ve been pushing hard to win my argument. Sometimes, it’s just best to apologise for the situation, and, again, let it go.
Remember, things only impact us negatively, if we let them. The situation is never the problem, it’s our reaction to the situation that will either inflame it, and make it far worse, or diffuse it and turn it into a positive. It all depends on our thoughts. It’s not always easy to choose the right thoughts, but it’s always in our control. The thing that most helps me overcome challenges or adversity, more effectively, is my continual commitment to flood my brain with positives. One may even say, brainwashing, but my brain, as does yours, needs a good washing. Every day I read positive books, listen to inspiring audios, affirm what I want, and pray to God. The more great stuff I put into my brain, the better I naturally get at shaking off negativity, and, moving on.
I was born a middle child and for much of my life been a real sooky, attention-seeking mamma’s boy. I still am to a degree, but in my earlier years I would hold on to negativity, blame, and victim-thinking for days, weeks, months, even years! It destroyed many great relationships and opportunities for great things. I just didn’t have the knowledge, skills or wisdom to shake it off. Thanks goodness I have evolved, and I hope to share some of my experience with you. Life is not always roses. In fact, life can and will be downright horrible at times. So, the key to dealing with inevitable challenges and adversity, is to learn how to; find the positives, shake it off and move on.
In Portland, Maine, September 3, 1987, a commuter airline pilot, Henry Dempsey, fell through a door that popped open 4,000 feet above the ocean. The co-pilot immediately radioed the Portland tower for instructions to make an emergency landing, and asked that the Coast Guard be informed, as he thought Dempsey was lost at sea. Actually, he was hanging on for his life. When the plane touched down, at about 100 mph, Henry Dempsey was holding on with all his might, and his head missed hitting the ground by six inches, as he grasped the landing.
After the plane had landed and somehow, miraculously, Henry Dempsey had hung on and survived, rescuers raced out to the plane. Dempsey had passed out in the trauma of the event, and even in his unconscious state, his bloodied hands had to be pried open to release him from the step he was grasping. His dream to survive was so strong, that he hung on, even in a seemingly lifeless state. This is an extreme case. As hard as it may have been for Henry to hang on, what was the alternative for him? Yes, he could have let go, and then, fallen to a painful and terrifying death. I want to encourage you to hang on to your dream, with everything you have, conscious of it or not.
I have three heroes in my life, my mother, my father and my wife Laura. Before I even knew Laura, she was a successful designer, with her own label… men’s lingerie and loungewear. She had a large vision and strong dream to take her label to the world, and, was right on track. Just when she thought she had found the breakthrough, in the form of a businessman who would fund her vision, she faced her first major challenge. This man, on the eve of handing over the money Laura needed to take her vision and label to the next level, suggested, in no uncertain terms, that he wanted more than profit-share in return for his investment. Laura, shocked, devastated, but confident enough in herself and her ability, turned her back on this man and walked away with her dignity intact, but, no money and a broken spirit.
How do you come back from that type of trauma? It’s not easy. Laura was understandably rocked to the core and her confidence was shattered, for a period time. When I met her, she was working as a retail manager in a menswear store, trying to pick herself back up after her ordeal. I saw the spark in her, but she was not the person she had been, nor was she living her truth. Over the years, Laura tried to come to peace with what had happened, and move on, but something inside her was yelling at her to hang on to her dream and go after it again. She was at the same stage Henry Dempsey was, as he hung on for his life. It would have been very easy to let go, but she would have sacrificed everything that was in her heart to do. Over the years, and unconsciously, the grip she had on her dream got tighter and tighter, until a trip to Bali changed it all.
Hang on by your fingernails until the opportunity comes!
Whilst on a retreat in Bali, Laura’s dream was re-ignited, and she saw a vision to design leather bags and clutches for men and women. She had met some people in Bali who encouraged her and could help her with this venture. She came home excited and quickly booked another flight to Bali to start manufacturing her bags and get her new business running. As the time for her flight to Bali was fast approaching, Laura started panicking. Why? She had no clear designs, no suppliers and no-one to make the bags in Bali. She was on the verge of cancelling the trip when I encouraged her to go anyway. So, she went on faith.
As I dropped her at the airport, she was worried, anxious and nervous, but she went anyway. She checked in, got on board and sat down in her seat on the plane. She was seated next to two men, clearly together and clearly gay. She said hello, they returned the greeting and the plane took off. Not long after the plane was in the air, one of the men asked Laura what she did. She said, ‘I design clutches for men and I’m going to Bali to get them made.’ The two men looked at each other and started laughing. Laura, a little confused, asked, ‘Did I say something funny?’ One of the gay men said to her, ‘Darling, in Melbourne we are known as the ‘Clutch Queens.’ We have over 200 clutches between us!’ You can imagine how the rest of the flight went. There was vodka, laughter and ideas flowing for the next five hours. When Laura stepped off that plane, she had her designs! The rest of her time in Bali flowed like it was just meant to be. She found great suppliers and she found an amazing manufacturer, who she still uses today. Her business was launched.
Well, that was back in 2015, and let me tell you, since that time, Laura has done and achieved some amazing things. Her designs are incredible, the work she has done is tireless, the people she is meeting are influential and the opportunities now coming her way are mind-blowing. She recently, and very randomly, met up with an old friend, who has opened doors for her that she had no idea were there to open. As a result, she was featured in a prestigious online fashion magazine, Casper & Casper. But the biggest breakthrough so far was the introduction to a designer who wants to collaborate and use her bags on the catwalk, at – wait for it – New York fashion week in September this year!
Laura is currently back in Bali, getting her amazing designs ready for New York and the wonderful things that are continuing to come her way as she holds on tight to, and works tirelessly towards, her dream. The LalaRocca label is about to take off, so watch this space. She is at this point in her life, because at no time, did she let go of her dream, even under the most devastating and trying of circumstances. She held on with all her might, because the alternative was not an option. Can you see why I love this lady so much and why she is one of the top three heroes in my life. She inspires me every day, and, I hope this story inspires you.
What is your dream and most important to you? Is it in the front of your mind and are you chasing it hard, or has it fallen by the wayside and you are just hanging on to it by your fingernails? Hang on! Hold tight! If you let go of it, what is the alternative? Sometimes it can seem that letting go of the dream will bring relief and be the best option. It is true, letting go will bring relief, it will remove a source of stress and discomfort, and, it will give you some time back, but will it fuel you, feed you and enable you to live the life you desire? I have always followed the mantra; I would rather live with discomfort, failure and rejection, than live with regret. What about you?
You are on this planet just once, and, you are here for a reason. Your job is to work out what that reason is and spend your life pursuing it. There will be times it seems out of reach, there will be times when it all seems too hard, and there will be times when your grip starts to slip, but, it’s your dream, so, hold on tight!
This is week four of my program to help you remove anxiety from your life… forever. It is not an easy task, but the one that will most help you live a happy, healthy and purpose-driven life. If this is the first blog you have seen for a while, I encourage you to look at the last three to see the campaign that has been launched against the powerful and devastating enemy that is anxiety. The good and bad news is that we create anxiety in our own minds, and, we are responsible and in control of erasing it, forever. So, this week, let’s look at the final anxiety buster!
I write about this stuff regularly, but as you know, from my last few blogs, I still haven’t got it nailed all the time, and I still suffer from anxiety periodically. As logical as everything I write is, and as much as I believe it, I still don’t always follow it. That is me being open, honest and human, and, I think anyone who says they have it all together and never suffer from anxiety, at times, would have to be described as, ‘liar-liar-pants-on-fire’! I am good at this stuff most of the time, but there are times that I just am not, like my recent anxiety that I talked about last week.
As I explained last week, I had a discomfort in my ‘man-bits’ and, for some reason, I started focusing on the worst possible scenario. My thinking quickly spiralled into anxiety and, no matter what I tried, I couldn’t shake it. The answer was actually very obvious for me, yet in the midst of allowing my anxiety to take a hold, I didn’t pay attention. I was in Church on Good Friday, the service was over, and I was sitting with my head in my hands praying for healing. Just then, one of the pastors came over to me, put his hand on my shoulder and said, ‘Andrew, God has just told me that whatever you are worried about, it’s okay.’ He then walked away, and I was left in awe, and feeling immediately better.
Well, even with that prophecy from God, it wasn’t long before I was back in a negative spiral and feeling anxious again. In my mind, I couldn’t understand why I just didn’t have faith. Why would this man come to me and share that message with me, if he hadn’t heard from God and it wasn’t true? There is no logical reason. In that moment, I focused on the wrong things and I had allowed my faith to be clouded with my own doubts. Well, you know the story, as I explained last week, I had my appointment with the doctor, and it was all clear. My God was right, I didn’t need to worry. This was another powerful lesson to me about how what we focus on is critical, but we must also have the faith to just know it will work out. This faith will take that focus and turn it into something magical. I am a changed person as a result of this experience.
Combine positive focus and powerful faith!
One of my favorite definitions of faith is by author Phillip Yancey, and he says; ‘faith is believing in advance what will only make sense in reverse.’ I love it because, there are many times in my life, and yours too I imagine, when I achieved something that at one point seemed impossible, but, looking back made sense. Are you with me? One of the greatest stories in the Bible, David & Goliath, is testament to this. David was no match for the massive and dangerous Goliath, but he had a powerful faith that God would lead him to victory and a laser focus on slinging a stone to hit Goliath between the eyes. His focus and faith bought his victory over the ‘unbeatable’ giant. Now, whether you believe in the stories from the Bible or not, this is a concept that is worthy of your attention, if, you want to kill anxiety forever and create abundance and joy in your life.
Back in the year 2002, I was working unreasonable hours in two businesses, losing money in one of those businesses and wondering what I could do to get myself out of this hole. Then an idea to write a book came into my head. It was a totally illogical and unreasonable idea because; I was working over 100 hours, seven days per week, was not a reader and had no experience or qualifications as a writer. All I had, back then, was focus and faith. I focused on the impact that the book would have on people’s lives, how it would transform my own, and, I had faith that if I would just get started, take one step per day, the way forward would open itself to me.
Was I anxious? No way, I was excited, empowered and determined. With those three emotions on my side, I got to work to somehow write a book that gained a publisher, that went on to become a bestselling book, that totally transformed the direction of my life. Today, as write this and look back over the seventeen years that have gone past since that crazy decision to write a book, the life that has unfolded for me makes sense. Back then, to have imagined the life I would be living today and the things I would be doing was honestly incomprehensible. But it happened because of two things; focus and faith.
Take a deep breath and start thinking about the things that are currently causing stress, anxiety and worry in your life. Are you finally ready to remove stress, anxiety and worry, and, turn it into excitement, empowerment and determination? Great, then simply focus on what you want and have absolute faith that, if you start moving and keep going, it will become reality. Is your health a concern? Then focus on looking and feeling the way you want, and, have total faith that, by doing what you need to do, you will get there. Money is a massive cause of people’s anxiety, often because they are always focused on not having enough. So, what about starting to focus on financial abundance, then get to work to make it happen, and, have absolute faith that it will.
Is your anxiety there because of; relationship issues, fear of getting rejected, finishing your book, not believing you are good enough, or any other doubt you are creating in your head? You are only anxious because you are either; focusing on what you don’t want, or, don’t have faith that you can achieve what you do want. Can you see why the combination of focus and faith is so critical to eradicate anxiety and move you towards the joy you are after?
I had no logical evidence to possibly believe that I could become a successful author and change the direction of my life. It’s lucky, for you and me, that logic is not a requirement for success, in fact, it may even be a barrier. It is logic that will most likely lead to anxiety. So, are you ready to remove the source of your anxiety? Step one, give logic the flick. Step two, focus on exactly what you want. Step three, get into daily action, and keep going with the faith of knowing that it will work out. Today, you can rid yourself of anxiety forever, with focus and faith.
