by admin | 24 Dec, 2022 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
It can be a complicated time of the year, or it can be the greatest time of joy, peace, family, and faith. I have had different conversations with different people about what this time means for them and what they believe, and it is amazing the diversity of people, their beliefs, and ways they celebrate, if at all. No matter what you believe, how you celebrate, and whether you give gifts, I want to make one suggestion. Whether you give gifts to other people or not, I want to encourage you to give yourself the gift of you.
Let’s talk about gifts for a moment. Would it be fair to say, for the most part, we give gifts to the people we care about, gifts we believe will add some value and/or joy to their life? Of course, sometimes the gifts we give are just tokens and more out of obligation than real desire to give a great gift. We have all re-gifted, haven’t we? We pass on that thoughtless gift someone gave us and recycle it as a thoughtless gift we give to someone else. If you have never done this, I apologise, and I have to say, you are a wonderful exception.
In this blog, I am referring to those gifts we give and receive that bring incredible joy and value into our lives. The greatest gift I ever gave was a plush pelican toy I presented to my mother just a few days before she passed away. I knew how much she loved pelicans, and so I knew she would love this gift. Surprisingly, it was no easy feat to find a stuffed toy pelican. I drove all over Melbourne, to every department store and toy store I could find for many hours, before I finally found one at the Melbourne Zoo, in their gift shop. When I gave it to her and told her all about the adventure I had been on to find it, the tears in her eyes, the smile on her beautiful face, and the love in her heart was all I needed to know how important that gift was to her.
The greatest gift I have ever received is the one I gave myself. No, it wasn’t my car, and it wasn’t my home. It was me. I gave myself the gift of me. I am sure you are asking, what does that mean? For much of my life, if I had to describe myself as a gift, I would be the thoughtless gift that gets re-gifted. I never valued myself, nor did I feel I was good enough or worthy enough to be loved because of who I was. I always felt I had to be working, productive, achieving, accomplishing, and accumulating to be worthy. In other words, the me I was did not fit the bill as the gift I wanted, so I was always trying to change, improve, and hide the real me. I was trying to re-package and re-gift!
You may be relating to what I am saying right now and also believing that you don’t feel good enough or worthy enough to be successful, happy, and loved. I have to be brutally honest here and, if this is you or anyone you care about, I need you to hear this next part loud and clear. You can never hate yourself into a better person or to a better life. You will never be able to outwork, outachieve, or outlast low self-worth. No matter what you try to do, your inner belief about yourself will come back and rip you down. How do I know this? I have been there too many times, until I finally gave myself the most important gift I could ever give, the gift of me.
I went through a painful but necessary process to understand who I was at the core, why I believed the way I believed, and why I acted the way I did. It was a transformational journey to discover that I am okay, just as I am, and that I am a beautifully flawed human being. Through that understanding came self-acceptance, then self-forgiveness, and soon after, I gave myself the gift of me. By clearing the noise and lies in my head, the conditioning that had ruled my life, and the stereotypes I was hanging on to, I started to recognise the beautiful person I was, and am. I went from hating myself, to accepting myself, to forgiving myself and I can honestly say, right now, I am in love with myself. Not in a boastful and insecure way, but through a deep feeling of self-worth.
This is the greatest gift I have ever received, and I gave it to myself, which means you can give exactly the same gift to yourself. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, or something else at this time of the year, or if you don’t celebrate anything, you can still give yourself this gift. The only reason you need is that you are deserving of living the best life possible. Wow, that is definitely worthy of celebration, and not just once per year, but every single day.
As you give yourself this wonderful gift, you will start desiring to do more for yourself and with yourself. In my amazing podcast this week with Kathy White, called Pants on at 100, we discuss giving yourself the gift of time and space to do yoga, to help you live better, longer and be able to put your own pants on at 100 years of age.
You may not believe it right now, but your existence is evidence of your worthiness. You were created in God’s image. You are here for a purpose. You are perfect, just the way you are. When you can understand this and believe it, then you will be able to give yourself the most precious gift of all, the gift of you.
by admin | 9 Dec, 2022 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
Life is short. That sounds like a throw-away line, and for young people, who believe they will live forever, a hard concept to accept. However, as life marches on despite what we do or don’t do, have or don’t have, and achieve or don’t achieve, it becomes more and more evident and important to accept. No matter what we have done with our lives, when it comes to an inevitable end, I believe loving it is the most important thing. So, the question you may be asking is, how do I love my life? Well, I got given the answer this week.
The answer was not given to me by a human being, because I am not sure many humans actually know. Some people may know intellectually, but knowing doesn’t necessarily translate into experiencing. The answer was provided to me by a three-year-old Labrador, and his owner. I was doing my morning walk through the park to the beach, when I was enthusiastically approached by this very cute dog. As soon as he saw me, he saw a new friend and ran to me with his tail wagging wildly. He jumped up with a massive smile on his face and, he leaned against me as I gave him the attention and the pat he was looking for. After a short time, he spied something exciting and bounded off to explore,
As I chatted with the owner, I found out a little about him and his dog, and he said, referring to the dog, he just loves life. As I walked away, it stuck with me. He just loves life. I kept walking and I passed many people as I went. Each time I passed someone, I would look at them, trying to get eye contact, so I could say good morning. I am sure that very few of these people, and I would have to say that very few people anywhere around the world would say, I love my life. So, the question is, how can dogs do it so easily, when so many humans continually struggle to find joy?
Within the first year of getting my pup Joia, back in 2009, so much did she impact my life, I wrote an ebook called Joia – Living a life of joy through the eyes of a pup. At that time, I would not say I was loving my life. I was stressed, I was fearful, and I was anxious. From the moment of having the dog, things changed dramatically, and I started learning amazing lessons from a dog just a few months old. I will not regurgitate the whole book, if you want it, please let me know and I will send it to you. I do want to highlight three things’ dogs do to help them to love life, which, if we were more deliberate about, would also help us love life.
For dogs, every day is an exciting adventure. New places to go, new people to meet, new smells to experience, and new opportunities to have fun. With a simple shift in attitude and focus, as we wake up in the morning, we can all approach the new day as an exciting adventure. What would happen if we started each day knowing that we will experience something amazing, meet someone incredible, and discover a fabulous opportunity? I bet you would love that day. I know I would.
For dogs, people are a source of joy. Dogs adore their owners, unconditionally. Dogs hold no grudges, and a are just grateful when they get attention, love, and food. Dogs love meeting new people who can give them a pat and they make friends easily because they are genuinely happy to see people. Wouldn’t our world be a better place if we just decided to love unconditionally? Wouldn’t we be happier if we could forgive more easily and be grateful for what we have and what we get? What amazing opportunities would come our way if we just saw every person as a friend who wants to help us in some way? I am sure these things would help you love your life.
For dogs, joy is in the simple things in life. They love sniffing, eating food, chasing balls and sticks, a tummy rub, and just hanging with people they love. Joia loved empty toilet rolls. Every time I sat on the toilet, she would come in a look at me with hope that I would be finished the toilet paper and would give her the empty roll. When I did, she would get so excited, grab it as if she was smoking a cigar and play with it for the rest of the day. How much would we love our life if we could find joy in the things we have every day – the simple things – the most important things? They are all around you, at every moment of every day, you just need to take the time to see them, experience them, and enjoy them.
Speaking about loving life and enjoying the simple things, in my podcast this week with Kelly Myles, called Let’s talk about sex, we discuss one of the greatest pleasures in life, sex! It is an awesome conversation that I encourage you to listen to.
It is a tragedy that so many people believe that loving their lives is conditional on what they own, what they accumulate, how they look, what others think about them, what they achieve, and what they don’t yet have. The ‘I will love my life when’ attitude will keep you separated from loving your life, forever. When you can see that everything you need to love your life is already there, and you can deliberately embrace it, then loving your life will just be the joyful result. Take notice of the next dog you meet, follow its lead, and start loving your life today.
by admin | 11 Nov, 2022 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
Have you ever noticed how many people wander around with their head and eyes down? It’s incredible what they may be missing simply because their eyes are down. Possibly they’re having a bad day. Chances are they are stressed about everything they have to get done. Perhaps they’re worried about all the things that are uncertain in their life. Whatever the reason, there is so much out there to enjoy, be grateful for, and to be inspired by. All you have to do to see it, right in front of you, is just simply lift your eyes.
I have just had a wonderful trip to Albury, on the New South Wales and Victorian border. I was honoured to speak to an incredible group of people on Thursday, and as I was driving back to Melbourne, I was feeling light and inspired. On the Thursday morning I got up in Albury to do some exercise, as I do every day. I walked out of the hotel, with no idea where the best place for exercise would be. I turned right, I lifted my eyes, and I saw a beautiful white monument upon a hill. It didn’t look too high or too far away, so I headed towards it.
Well, it was further and higher than I thought! By the time I finally struggled my way to the top, my chest was heaving, my lungs were bursting, my legs were heavy, and I was exhausted. I was bent over, looking down and trying to catch my breath. When I finally stood up and lifted my eyes, I was presented with the most incredible view around Albury and beyond. I stood there for a few minutes just enjoying and being grateful for the incredible landscape I had found myself in. At that moment, something inside moved me to lift my eyes again, and up in the tree were two kookaburras.
For people who live in country Australia, kookaburras are not a big deal, they are commonplace. For a city slicker like myself, however, it’s a very different story. I was so excited that I felt I needed to point them out to every person who walked past. They looked up, shrugged their shoulders, and kept going because for them it was no big deal. For me, it was a very big deal. I’m so grateful I actually stopped and lifted my eyes to see what was around this beautiful country. My question to you is, do you spend your time with your eyes down, or do you regularly lift your eyes up to experience the joy and beauty that is all around you?
This may not apply to you, but, I know in my life, I have missed so much because of spending so much time with my head down. Head down in my business, my problems, and in the stressors in my life. The result: I can’t even begin to tell you how much I have missed because my head was down, and I didn’t lift my eyes. So, let me ask you this, where are your eyes most of the time? Are they down and fixated on everything you’re trying to achieve, avoid, aspire to, or change? Or are they up looking at this beautiful world around you, and all the wonderful things happening that are there to enjoy?
When you take the time to lift your eyes you will see a world full of great people to connect with, collaborate with, support, and encourage you. When you raise your eyes, you will see beauty all around the incredible world you live in. As soon as you lift your head out of the mess and muck you may be experiencing, you will see solutions, ideas, and opportunities. The greatest things you will see when you lift your eyes include love, joy, gratitude, and peace. All this amazingness is available for you, if you stop, lift your eyes, and look at the abundance that is there waiting for you.
In my podcast this week called All you need is love, with Chris Freer, we discuss in detail the love, joy, and opportunities that are available to every person who lifts their eyes to really see themselves. There is no doubt about it, we live in a fast-paced world that seems to demand more and more of us every single day. It is so easy to get caught up in the busyness of life and lose sight of the most important things we have. Those things are free and readily available, and all you have to do to enjoy them in abundance is just lift your eyes.
by admin | 21 Oct, 2022 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
We have all heard the saying that the eyes are the window to the soul, and not a truer statement has been spoken. When you look into any pair of eyes, and I mean really look, you will find out more about a person than what they actually may tell you. I am on a mission at the moment to look into as many eyes as I can, because I want to have more empathy for and understanding about people. It is amazing what you will get from the eyes of a stranger.
This mission, and blog were inspired by Chris Freer, my guest on my podcast this week, called Saved by compassion. Chris had got to the point in his life, experiencing daily pain and symptoms from Multiple Sclerosis, and going through divorce, where he decided that suicide was his only option to end the pain. His plan was to throw himself under a lorry on a busy roadway in Essex, UK. Just as he had selected the lorry and stepped onto the motorway, he caught a glimpse of the drivers’ eyes, and hesitated. He started thinking about the impact of his decision on the life of that lorry driver. He pulled himself back enough to save his life and incur only minor injuries, as he glanced off the side of the lorry.
Chris explained that it was the compassion he felt for the lorry driver, after looking into the eyes of a stranger, that saved his life. On that day, the old Chris died, and the new one reborn. That’s all I am going to tell you. You will need to listen to the podcast to get the full and amazing story. Since that conversation with Chris, I have been compelled to do more than just co-exist with other people, and actually connect with them through a look and a smile. It is amazing what happens when you look into the eyes of a stranger.
I am grateful to have done some amazing travel and speaking this week. On Tuesday morning, I was on a flight to Perth when mother nature called. As I was sitting with my pants down in a cramped airplane toilet, we hit some turbulence. Over the PA, the instructions came to return to seats and fasten seatbelts. There were no seatbelts in the toilet, and I was only half finished my important task, so, I was going nowhere in a hurry. All of a sudden, there was a knock on the toilet door. I ignored it. Thirty seconds later, another knock. There was nothing I could do about it. Fifteen seconds later, another knock, this time more forcefully. I still couldn’t do anything.
I finally finished my business, with the knocking continuing, cleaned myself up and finally opened the door. Waiting outside the door was a very impatient flight attendant directing me to get back to my seat. I was tempted to let her have it, but I didn’t. Instead, I looked into her eyes and actually saw someone who was concerned about my welfare. Of course, she was just following safety procedures of the airline, but mostly I could tell, from her eyes, she wanted to make sure I was okay. In that moment, all anger disappeared, and gratitude took its place.
Behind every single pair of eyes on the planet is a mind that is thinking about stuff. These thoughts are about tasks needing to be completed, loved ones that need to be supported, challenges that need to be overcome, people that need to be helped, and great things that need to be accomplished. Every one of those thoughts will be reflected in those eyes. Every person has a life to live. Every person is doing the best they can. Every person has a desire to feel loved, heard, appreciated, and important. Just look into the eyes of the next stranger you meet, and you will see it for yourself.
My mission now is to look into the eyes of as many strangers as I can and try to see what is going on for them in that moment. Then, respond accordingly with; a smile, a comment, a word of encouragement, a request to help, or a compliment. I will get back to you with the results of my mission and let you know what has happened for me. In the meantime, can I encourage you to take the time, in your full life, to look into the eyes of a stranger today?
by admin | 14 Oct, 2022 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
Everything that is now complete, at one time came in pieces. The house you live in, the chair you are sitting in, the car you are driving, the health you are experiencing, the life you are living, and the results you are experiencing. Every piece is critical, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem. You may be tempted to leave out a small piece or part of a process, but do so at your own peril. If you are not experiencing the joy you would like in an area of your life, all you need to ask is, what piece is missing?
I recently bought a desk for my office in my new home. I was very specific about what I was looking for, because it had to fit in the space I had allocated for it. I searched high and low, and finally came across one with the perfect dimensions to fit snugly and ideally in my office. I don’t know if Amart is a global store, or just an Australian one, but I had never shopped there before. So, I decided, as the desk was just what I was after, to buy it. It was delivered on Tuesday last week in three flat boxes. Yes, a flat pack. I am not a handy man, that’s for sure, but I had a friend coming over to help me, so I was confident we could put it together.
I opened and emptied each box and was left with 40-50 pieces, and hundreds of screws, bolts, and other necessary bits n’ pieces. In addition to that, I had an instruction booklet that may as well have been written in another language. It was terrible! It was, however, all we had, so my friend and I got started trying to decipher the instructions and put the desk together. Well, it wasn’t long before we hit a brick wall. Each piece was labelled with a small sticker, and we got to the stage where we needed the piece labelled C9. It was just a very small piece, but a critical connecting piece for two larger pieces.
We searched high and low, and it was not there. We had hit an impasse. We could do no more, because of that one small, seemingly insignificant piece, So, with bits of an un-assembled desk all over my office floor, we gave up for the evening. I left frustrated, a little angry, and very clear about the importance of every single piece. Long story short, the next day I went, at great inconvenience, to pick up that missing piece, and I was able to complete assembling the desk. It looks great, and I am glad I finished it. But there is no way it could have happened without every single tiny, obscure, and seemingly unimportant piece in place.
Why, you may ask, am I talking about my desk? Because it is a beautiful metaphor for the life you are living and the life you want to live. We live in a quick-fix and shortcut focussed world, where many people, including me, are looking for the quickest and easiest way to be fit and healthy, make money, avoid conflict, and live a meaningful life. I hate to tell you, there is no quick-fix or shortcut, and every piece of the process is needed, no matter how irrelevant or unenjoyable it may seem. In fact, it was the great John C. Maxwell, who said, the longest distance between two points is a shortcut!
As you sit there reading this blog, I want to encourage you to think about the one area of your life that is not as you would like it to be right now. Do you have it in your mind? I am now going to ask you a question, and I guarantee you know the answer, even though you may be pretending not to. How do I know? Because I do the same. The question is, in that area of your life you would like to see a positive change, what piece is missing? Think about it for a moment. You know the answer, don’t you? The next question is, why are you avoiding putting that piece in the process? Are you squirming a little in your seat? If so, good. You are ready.
Are you looking to improve your wellbeing? Is the missing piece breakfast? Is it exercise? Is it sleep? Is it not enough water? Is it too many poor choices? Is it too much stress and anxiety? You know, don’t you? Are you wishing there was more money in your bank account? What is the missing piece? Is it not tracking your daily expenses? Is it too many loose change choices? Is it spending money on things you don’t need? Is it looking for a way to increase your income or diversify your cash flow? You know what it is, don’t you? Do you want better relationships? What’s missing? Is it quality time? Is it undistracted attention? Is it some simple daily words of love, and affirmation? Is it small gifts? Is it doing simple things to help more? Is it more intimacy? You know what the piece is, don’t you?
Trust me on this, when you put the missing piece in place, that area of your life will become a beautiful, meaningful, and joyful part of your life. In my podcast this week with Joyologist, Pat Armitstead, called Creating inner joy, Pat discusses some simple pieces that you can put in place to bring more joy into your life. It is a great conversation.
It is just one small piece, and it almost seems like it shouldn’t matter if you leave it out, but it does. Honestly, would you be driving that car, living in that home, boarding that plane, buying that television if you knew there was a piece missing that could prevent it from standing strong or functioning correctly? I know I wouldn’t. Every piece is critical in the construction of a desk, the functioning of all technology, but most importantly the living of a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life. My challenge for you this week is to identify the missing piece and put it in.
by admin | 8 Oct, 2022 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
Who doesn’t love a good story? When you think of your favorite book, I am guessing it involves a compelling, maybe even exciting and adventurous story. When you reflect on your favorite movie, how does the story make you feel? When you remember great times with friends, and the laughs you shared, it’s my guess you are reminiscing on stories from the past. We love other people’s stories, however, not so much our own. The thing to understand, however, is that it’s your story that will determine the outcomes in your life. So, can I ask you to reflect on the stories you are telling yourself about you?
Whether you know it or not, you are telling yourself a story right now, as you read this. I know that to be a fact because I do the same. Every time I read or listen to something designed to help me in my life, like this blog is for you, I rinse the information through my story filter. As a result of the stories I tell myself, I am determining what information is relevant and what is and isn’t possible for me. You are possibly doing the same and, just like many stories you enjoy, often the story you are telling yourself is fiction. You have just told yourself the same story for so long, you have come to believe it. This story is affecting every area of your life.
I started telling myself a story at a very young age that has impacted my whole life. The story was that I was not worthy, and that I needed to achieve certain things, look a certain way, and accumulate certain belongings to be loved. Wow! That story screwed up my head and consequently the heads of other wonderful people. I now know that story to be a massive lie, but not before it impacted my thoughts, feelings, and behaviours that destroyed many relationships, and hurt too many people. What story are you telling yourself?
I am still impacted by crazy fictional stories that I have believed for too long. That I am not good enough. That I am not worthy to be loved or have the capacity to love. That I have trouble taking things to the next level. I don’t even know what the next level is. Some euphoric fictional state I believe I need to attain. Rubbish, lunacy, and lies. I am now very much focused on understanding the stories that are holding me back, and the ones I want that will move me forward. Can I recommend you do the same?
Stop for a minute and reflect on the story you are telling yourself right now as I say that you are good enough just as you are. If that story is; absolutely correct, I am good enough, I am loving my life, and I am in the process of even greater health, happiness, and prosperity, then change nothing, you are right on track. If the story is something like: it’s okay for him, he doesn’t understand my situation, or, I’ve tried before and just can’t make it happen, or, I don’t deserve and am not worthy of happiness and success, then for your own sake, start to change the story.
How do you do that? Great question. Assuming you have some goals and aspirations in your life, I just want to offer three simple steps. The first is to get clear on the current stories you are telling yourself and identify how they are affecting your life. Secondly, find a mentor, an accountability partner, and a positive, supportive, and encouraging group of people to start associating with. Third, and maybe most important is to start creating new stories. What I mean is set yourself a simple daily task and commit to getting it done. Then, tomorrow do the same, then the next day and then the next.
For example, let’s say the story you are telling yourself is that you can never stick to a wellness regime, because you have tried and been unsuccessful so many times. Choose one thing you want to do today, like walk 10,000 steps. Call a friend or associate and tell them, or post your intention on social media, to help keep yourself accountable. Then simply commit to doing that one task today. When midnight rolls around, a new day dawns, and you wake up, commit to the same task again. What you will find with this one day at a time approach is that you will be gradually writing yourself a new story. Over a period, you will know in your heart you can, and do, stick to your wellness regime. This is an empowering and life-changing story. Once the 10,000 steps per day is an unconscious routine, you will be able to add one more daily task and follow the same procedure and keep growing to strengthen that story of success. Simple, right?
In my podcast this week called, Worthy and wonderful, it would have been very easy for Tracee Garner to tell herself the story that she was unable to achieve anything great. She has been in a wheelchair for many decades with Muscular Dystrophy, yet the story she told herself was that she could impact lives. She is now doing amazing things, including having authored and published almost 20 books. This is a conversation everyone would benefit from.
Today is a new day for you, and me. The stories we have been telling ourselves, the ones which have determined our reality to this point, can change, if we want them to. I know I do. Do you want to change anything in your life? As hard as you think it may be, it is actually very simple. All you have to do is change the story you are telling yourself and then watch the things around you change.
