by admin | 14 Jul, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
There is a classic song by ‘Kool and the Gang’ that starts with the lyrics (please sing along);
“Celebrate good times, come on.
Celebrate good times, come on.
There’s a party goin’ on right here, a celebration to last throughout the years.
So, bring your good times and your laughter too, we gonna celebrate your party with you”.
I love this song; however, I do believe it is doing the word ‘celebration’ a grave injustice. Why is it that celebration is limited to the times when things are good, and going well? Why do we wait for an achievement or a milestone to celebrate? Why can’t we find something to celebrate right now, no matter what is happening? Why don’t we simply and consistently celebrate this remarkable life we have been given and the opportunities that are presented to us every single day?
I had a wonderful experience during the week just past. It was definitely unexpected, it was absolutely challenging to my beliefs, and it was transformational and paradigm shifting for me. Just a few days earlier, I found out that a very special man, I had really only known for about a year, passed away unexpectedly. Even though I really didn’t know him that well, so strong was the connection we had formed during that time, I had no hesitation in clearing my schedule to attend his funeral.
As I arrived, I genuinely wore my somber funeral face because I wanted to respect the passing of this man and show his friends and family how affected I was about his death. I was not expecting the welcome I got when I arrived. Firstly, it was a very small group of close friends and family, so my first thought was that maybe I shouldn’t be there. The second thing that struck me like a bolt of lightning were the smiles, joy, and gratitude I was greeted with. In fact, if I am being honest, I found it quite challenging to my preconceived idea of the appropriate behaviour at a funeral. As I sat waiting for the funeral to begin, I was a little uncomfortable with the laughter and joy that was happening all around me, but then the funeral began.
I sat there listening to people talk about this wonderful man, and I started to relax, in fact really enjoy the experience. Whilst there were many tears shed and obvious grieving, it was a beautiful celebration of a life well lived, and a legacy that will continue for generations to come. Sitting there, getting into the joy and gratitude, I started questioning the societal pressure that seems to suggest it is only appropriate to wait to celebrate when things are great, when something is achieved, or when there is a milestone to be recognised. Why can’t we celebrate at a funeral and honour the person who has passed with joy, laughter, and gratitude? Who made the rule that we can’t celebrate a poor choice, knowing that if we learn from it, something amazing will happen. Why did we buy into the rubbish that a birthday is celebrated only once per year when really, we should be celebrating our life every single day, whilst we have it?
I would like to declare today, and every day forth, a day of celebration. I want to celebrate me for the great things I do, the person I am becoming, and the things I am learning every day. I want to celebrate you, for who you are at the core, and who you can become if you choose. I want to celebrate everything that happens because I know, with the right perspective, something great will come from it. I want to celebrate having the free will to choose celebration as a way of my life moving forward. I want to encourage you to do the same.
In my podcast this week called Comfortably uncomfortable, I celebrate with Matthew Dickson his overcoming Schizophrenia after 27 years. We celebrate his bike ride across Canada to raise money to support his mission to help people suffering from mental health issues in third world and developing countries. It is an incredibly compelling and inspiring conversation.
If you have got to this stage of the blog, then celebrate. If you have decided to find something every day to celebrate, then celebrate. When you wake up tomorrow morning, and as your eyes open, then celebrate. Life is worthy of celebration. Don’t wait, celebrate every day, no matter what is happening. So, let’s change the lyrics of Kool and the Gang’s song to “Celebrate ALL times, come on!”
by admin | 8 Jul, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
There are some things in our life that are so important, so simple, and so obvious, yet we ignore them, miss them, or disregard them on a day to day, even moment to moment basis. I am grateful that I choose, on a regular basis, to put myself into an environment where I can be reminded of these important, simple, and obvious things. I was at a weekend conference recently and was listening to an amazing speaker, Andy Stanley, and when he made the statement, every conversation is a construction zone, I immediately felt chills running down my spine.
What did he mean by that? Let’s think about what happens in a construction zone. There are many things that happen, but we can really distil it down to two very basic things. On a construction site, something is either being built up or torn down. Right? See what I mean? Chilling! Andy says that every conversation is a construction zone, in fact, I would like to suggest that every word, every look, every posture, and every sound you make in an interaction with another human (or yourself) is a construction zone.
The reason why I had chills as i was listening to this was because, as Andy was talking, I was reflecting on the many conversations and interactions i have had in my life that have left a destruction of rubble and debris in their wake. I also thought about the many times my heart, my will, or my hope had been torn down by the words of other people. I was just a child, and this was well over 50 years ago, when my life started down a destructive path after thoughtless comments by teachers who didn’t understand this concept.
I have mentioned before in previous blogs, books, and podcasts that as the younger brother of a very smart and well-behaved boy, I lived in his shadow during my primary school years. I was always a year behind, and always went into the class with the same teacher he had the year before. I think, almost without exception, for the next 4 or 5 years I would hear comments like, ‘why aren’t you more like your brother’, ‘your brother would never behave that way’, and ‘I wish you could be a little more like your brother.’ What the teachers were trying to do, in their clueless way, was motivate me to be better. What I heard was, ‘Andrew, you are not good enough as you are’.
Oh my gosh, talk about a demolition! That one belief, deposited in the mind of a young boy, has played out time and time again over my life, and it has left even more destruction in its wake. This feeling of insecurity and always trying to prove myself, and gain approval and acceptance, has led me to situations and circumstances I regret to this day. Three marriages and divorces, failed businesses, lost income, getting sacked as a professional athlete, and many more things I will not get into right now.
Please don’t get me wrong, I am not blaming my teachers for my life. I am responsible for my behaviours and actions, I spoke to myself in destructive ways, and I chose to focus on thoughts that led me down a destructive path. I just want you to get the point that, whilst we are all responsible for our own outcomes in life, words and conversations can start a process that will build or demolish. My feelings of not being good enough have affected my own internal chatter, not to mention my conversations with others. I know in my past I had interactions with others that demolished rather than built up, and for that I am very sorry.
Whilst I cannot change the past, neither can you by-the-way, I am in total control of my conversations moving forward. I am now very deliberate about my own self-talk and building myself up. When I catch any negative self-talk, I remind myself how worthy, capable, resilient, creative, courageous, and fabulous, I really am. In addition, it is my mission to leave every conversation and interaction, with other people, knowing in my heart I have built up a person, or many people, and that they feel better about themselves, their life, and their future. I hope you will do the same moving forward.
In my podcast this week called Ask and then act, I speak with the queen of conversation that builds, Justine Martin. How else could this incredible lady deal with MS, Cancer, a range of other medical challenges, domestic violence, and other traumas to go on to build seven businesses and have an incredible impact on many lives? Simple, she understands the ‘construction zone’ power of her words and conversations, with herself and others.
As you get on with your day, can I encourage you to be aware of every thought you have and every word that comes out of your mouth? Whether you know it, understand it, believe it or not, every interaction you have, with yourself and others, will have one of two possible outcomes. Just remember that every conversation is a construction zone and will either build up or tear down the person you are communicating with. Spend the rest of your life being a builder, then watch and enjoy what will grow from it.
by admin | 2 Jun, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
We have lived for many years within a framework of society and led by a perception of certain words that may have defined our current thinking and experience of life. Words like success, failure and the one I want to focus on this week, achievement. My question to you is this; based on your definition of ‘achievement’ how are you experiencing life right now? Is it time to redefine achievement?
I was spending time with an incredible group of achievers last week. It was the 20 year reunion for the 2003 national premiership winners, Melbourne Phoenix. This is an incredible group of really talented and tall ladies, who did amazing things as players and a team. I was grateful to be a part of their success. As I drove home, I started reflecting on achievement. For the vast majority of my life, external achievement has been my aim. Why? And this is important to understand, as it certainly was in my life. As a young child, seeded from thoughtless words planted by teachers in primary school over several years, I developed a belief in my mind that I was not good enough as I was. My response to this inner belief interestingly was not to shy away and use not being good enough as an excuse for ‘underachievement’, I went the other way. In my young mind I concluded that the only way to be ‘enough’ in my eyes and the eyes of others was to achieve something exceptional.
I was a skinny, sickly, and insecure mama’s boy, and for some reason decided that my way to ‘enoughness’ would happen as a result of becoming a famous athlete. I was ill-equipped in many ways to become a professional Australian Footballer, my sport of choice, but didn’t let the facts or logic stop me from my headlong pursuit to be respected, admired, and feel that I was enough. I worked relentlessly to achieve my dream, and from the age of 16 to 23 I played Australian Football at the highest level. Did I feel any better about myself? Although proud of my achievements, I still didn’t feel worthy.
So, I thought to myself, I need to achieve in another arena. As I began a career in the fitness industry, I started working obsessively to create a body that I believed would help me feel good about myself and cause others to admire and accept me. I achieved it and am glad I started habits back then that continue to help me be a healthier person today, however, it never helped me feel like I was good enough. So, I kept searching. The answer must be out there somewhere, I thought. I threw myself headlong into business and worked harder than necessary as I believed being busy, working harder than others, would build a belief in myself that I was a worthy and wonderful human. In fact, it had the totally opposite effect.
After two years of working well over 100 hours per week in two businesses, I was in close to $100K debt. I was broke, I was broken, I was lost, I was depressed, and my self-worth and feeling of ‘enoughness’ had sunk to an all-time low. I didn’t understand how, after all I had been aspiring to achieve and the things I had achieved, I still felt as if I was a loser. It was time to redefine achievement. I am now the author of eight books, am a passionate speaker, mentor, and podcaster, but despite these ‘achievements’ what gives me the greatest feeling of self-worth, peace, and joy is none of those things.
I finally recognised that my external achievement, whilst nice, was never going to change how I felt about myself. That was, is, and will always be an inside job. I redefined achievement for myself. My goal moved from achieving; an improved physical appearance and performance, more money, more popularity, more book sales, more likes on social media, etc., to achieving inner peace and joy. I started focusing on who I was at the core and worked to achieve more of the traits that defined me as a man I could be proud of. Understanding, accepting, and loving myself for who I was, despite my flaws and irrespective of external achievements, was my new aspiration. My heart for helping others was something about myself I loved, so I worked harder to become more of that man. Compassion, forgiveness, and love were traits I worked hard to achieve. Gratitude, living in the moment, and seeing every experience as one that will enrich me in some way has become my ultimate achievement. Self-acceptance, self-love, and feeling I am good enough have become an automatic result of these inner achievements.
In my podcast this week, called ‘Flip the narrative’ I speak with Cam F Awesome. From an Olympic boxer to documentary star, comedian, and speaker, Cam is someone who has redefined many things, achievement being one of them. What about you? What are you chasing right now, believing it will bring happiness and fulfilment? When you achieve it, will it really? Why not look at achieving the things that will build you on the inside. It’s simple, all you need to do is redefine achievement.
by admin | 20 May, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
It’s a word I hadn’t heard much of – as it is not used much these days – until watching the movie Night at the Museum – the battle of the Smithsonian. In this movie, Amy Adams plays Amelia Earhart, and she says to character, Larry Daley, as she asks if he enjoys what he does, “You say you like what you do, but what I see in front of me is a man who has lost his moxie.” It is not a word that we hear much anymore and it is not a word we use much anymore, but it is a great word. This week I want to ask you to help me bring moxie back.
The dictionary definition of Moxie is The ability to face difficulty with spirit and courage. If there was ever a time to face difficulty with spirit and courage, I would have to say now is it. Interest rates are rising, the cost of living is expanding, job security is dwindling, health is declining, and times are challenging. Unless, that is, we choose to get up, dust ourselves off, get out, and find our moxie. Add ‘spirit’ and ‘courage’ to anything you are facing, and you have a winning formula, that’s for sure.
I think we all understand the meaning of ‘courage’. In my mind, it simply means facing your fear and doing what you need to do to live your best life. The word ‘spirit’ however, can leave room for interpretation. So, I plugged the word into the Thesaurus, and here are some of the words that came up to embody ‘spirit’: soul, essence, life, life-force, attitude, strength, character, force, fortitude, determination, heart, faith, and love, just to name a few. Can you imagine how good things would be if you owned some or all of those traits. Are you ready for the good news? You already do. Moxie is part of your DNA, you may just need to pull it out, dust it off, and own it.
I had dinner this week with two amazing ladies, both who epitomise the word ‘moxie’. It was the 85th birthday of moxie-laden Brenda Richards, an incredible lady I randomly met on one of my walks a few months ago. I will talk more about her shortly. Through Brenda, I met the incredible Eva Sifis, a lady who has shown all sorts of moxie to deal with being hit by a car and sustaining a significant acquired brain injury back in 1999. That event ended one part of her life, but due to her powerful moxie, it started another part, which is still evolving and empowering others as you read this.
Brenda Richards has lived in the same home in the suburb of St Kilda, Melbourne, for more than 60 years. It took much longer than it should have for Eva, Brenda, and I to walk down the street to take Brenda out for dinner for her birthday. Why? Brenda knew every second person, and they stopped to chat and wish her a happy birthday. She is most definitely part of the fabric of this suburb, for sure. I don’t have time to get deep into her story, but she is a survivor, and has developed an amazing heart for people. A challenging beginning in life, led her to be travelling on the itinerant track in her teens from town to town, and job to job, just making enough to get by. She has now authored many books, has written a TV series for children and is just as feisty today as I am sure she was in her teens. She is the queen of moxie.
How can you add some moxie into the things you are working on, the people you are working with, and the struggles you are facing right now? Moxie is courage and spirit. Courage means, in essence, face it, deal with it and act on it, whether you want to, believe you can or not. You know what you have to do, don’t you? Spirit means do it with heart, with enthusiasm, with zest, with strength, with determination, and with all of your life-force. That, my friend, is simply a decision. Things don’t always look easy, fun, or desirable, however, you can make them meaningful with moxie. So, let’s bring moxie back.
In my podcast this week with Yana Hempler, called Run for purpose, I have the pleasure of meeting another lady full of moxie. Coming from Russia to Canada, and with a fear of running, she now runs every day, helps other people run, and she ran 30 marathons in 30 days to raise money for a great cause. She loves running now, it is something she does with great joy, overflowing enthusiasm, and endless moxie.
I have moxie, you have moxie, and we all have moxie. It may be hidden and may have been buried deep inside of you for a long time, but it’s there waiting for you to drag it out to see the light of day. This incredible world, we are blessed to live in, is not always easy, as you may be experiencing right now. However, trust me when I say, it can always be a joy, no matter what is going on, if you bring back your moxie.
by admin | 13 May, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
Have you ever eaten a meal or dish before and then compared it to another dish that is effectively the same, yet one tastes so much better than the other? Me too. Have you ever had an experience at one time in your life, and then repeated that exact same experience again with someone different and one was so much better than the other? Me too. Why is one meal, experience, or interaction so much better than another that seems to be the same? The answer is the secret ingredient.
I was enjoying lunch with my dad and his partner Annette last Sunday, and after a yummy main course Annette pulled a delicious looking apple pie out of the oven. It initiated a conversation that has inspired this blog. My dad started talking about his own mother’s apple pie and how amazing it was. This immediately made Annette feel that she was competing against Dad’s mum for the best apple pie. After re-assuring Annette that her apple pie was delicious and rated very favourably with my grandmothers, we started discussing the difference between homemade apple pies and store-bought ones, and why the homemade alternative was far tastier. Annette shared a very cute story about when she served her grandchildren some of her fabulous pie, which they loved. They asked her why it was so yummy, and Annette told them it was because of a secret ingredient.
This special secret ingredient can turn anything, no matter how annoying or unpleasant it may seem, into magic, even a simple walk by the beach. I went for a walk the other day because I felt obliged to. It had been a full day with not a lot of margin for anything else, and even though the weather was beautiful and it should have been a joyful walk, it wasn’t at all. I was far too focused on what I should have done that day and what I should be doing instead of walking, so instead of joy, it was an average experience. The following day the weather was far less appealing, but my walk was an absolute pleasure, and I loved every second of it as it left me feeling refreshed and re-energised. What was the difference? The secret ingredient.
As you may know, I was a proud and blessed dog owner to a beautiful little girl for 14 years until late last year. She was my first dog, apart from dogs my family owned when I was young. Up until that point, I would not like picking up dog poop, cleaning dirty dog butts, or getting licked on the face by a dog. With Joia, all of that changed. Why? The secret ingredient. If you are a parent, I am sure you will understand this, as I can only guess, but before children I am sure crying babies, loud and messy children, and sleepless nights would be something to avoid. When you have children, it is my prediction all that changes, and you start to embrace, and even look forward to, the things that at one time repelled you. Why? The secret ingredient.
As a mentor to authors, I find two different types of attitudes people have as they are writing their book. One attitude is that writing is hard work, a chore, and they find it difficult to get into the zone to get the job done. On the other hand, there are those who just easily flow into writing, and can’t wait for the next opportunity to create something that will inevitably entertain, inspire, and help others. Have a guess what the difference is. Yes, you got it, the secret ingredient. I am thinking by now you are starting to understand what the secret ingredient is.
If you are trying to get yourself in shape and are really struggling to get into a rhythm and motivate yourself to do the simple things you need to do to create change, I believe you are missing the secret ingredient. If work is a chore, relationships are hard, and energy is waning, then you may want to add the secret ingredient. In my podcast this week with Yogi Aaron, called Stop stretching, you will hear the secret ingredient in his voice as he talks with passion about helping people move better and live pain free.
If you are still wondering, which I doubt you are, the secret ingredient is love. It changes everything. It makes food taste better, a walk more joyful, and cleaning a dirty dog-butt or changing a pooey nappy a pleasure. It makes writing a breeze, work a passion, exercise a game, forgiving an easy choice, and anything that seems like a chore, a delight. This is an area I am still working on in my own life, and is a focus for me, as I hope it will be for you. Whatever you do this week, add love to it and watch how it changes the taste, the experience, and the outcome. Add the secret ingredient this week.
by admin | 6 May, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
Why do we take life so seriously? I understand there are times we need to be serious, but at what point did we lose the inner child and the ability to just be silly at any time? I believe life is to be loved, every single day. It does not mean we have to love everything that happens or everything we have to do, but it does mean we can love we are here and that we choose the meaningful life which is available. I want to encourage you this week, if you need it, to find your playful side, because play is not just for children, it is for everyone.
I was meeting a friend last week in her neck-of-the-woods, so I asked for her suggestion as to the best venue. She sent me a link with an address and map reference. I was expecting that we would meet at a café, instead the address was for a park. Well, I’m flexible if nothing else, so I just went with it. When I arrived at the park, there was a really cool playground, and whilst waiting for her to arrive, I started playing. What else would you do at a playground? There was a cool spinny thing, swings, a seesaw, and of course a slide.
When my friend arrived, I of course had to get her to spin with me on the spinny thing, jump on the seesaw (as it was not as much fun alone), and then have a swing together. It was a blast! As we were chatting, I posed a question to her. I asked, why is it that generally only children get to enjoy the playground? Often, when you see parents at the playground with their children, they are standing around talking, and the children are playing. Why don’t the adults play? She said, because the adults have to watch their children. To which I replied, often they don’t even watch the children, they are just talking to other adults. I am sure there are many adults who would love to jump on the play equipment, I can’t be the only one. So, why don’t they? I want to start a campaign today, and with this blog. My goal is to get adults back into play.
I do get it, when we become adults, and certainly parents (not that I know from experience), there are many responsibilities. There are lots of things to consider like; money, safety, work, different and complex relationships, and many other things we have to start thinking about. I just don’t think we should do it at the expense of play. You can be serious and playful. You can be responsible and still have fun. You can be sensible and silly. I think we often make the mistake, as I have, of thinking play is for when all the serious stuff has been done. Why not add playfulness into everything you do?
In the book, The Happiness Advantage, the author, Shawn Achor, based on research, flips the paradigm on the out-dated adage, once we are successful, then we will be happy. What he is actually suggesting is that, when we are happy, then success will follow. My question and challenge for you, should you choose to accept it, is how can you bring play and playfulness into every day and every part of your life to help you live with more joy, be healthier, and more successful? What can you do to bring more play into your home and family life? Could you play more games, get out to the playground more often, create games out of chores, and do fun projects together? How can you bring more play into your workplace? Could you smile more, make games or competition out of achieving work goals, focus on the positive impact your job has on other people’s lives, or find ways to make people smile?
How do you bring play into your financial situation? I can think of lots of ways, such as having fun rewards when you achieve financial goals, feeling the joy of saving money knowing that it is growing your financial strength, and finding fun ways of earning additional income. Bring play into your health and fitness pursuits by participating in sports you love, doing it with friends, feeling joy every time you put healthy food into your body, and going to the playground often. You see, play and joy is free and available to you today, tomorrow, and forever. When you focus on playing, your life will change for the better, trust me.
In my podcast this week with Michelle Powell called Your authentic self, we have a very powerful conversation. From a childhood of abuse to a narcissistic marriage, to losing her children, Michelle is now living a life of joy and helping many people, because she started to focus on her authentic and playful self. It is incredible what can happen when you start adding play into your life. There are times to be serious, and there are definitely more times to be playful, So, remember, play is not just for children, it’s for everyone.
