by admin | 29 Jul, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
Oh my gosh. I have just come to the end of a week I will never forget and one that has changed me as a person, forever. As we pack up and leave the Vision Villa Resort in Bali for the end of the ‘I Am Author’ retreat, my heart is full. Full of love, full of joy, full of gratitude, full of empathy, full of inspiration, and full of life. Coming into this retreat, I was hoping that it would go well, but I had no idea how amazing it would really be. The reason is simple. Me, and all the other participants and contributors this week came in with open hearts.
I organised this retreat with my wonderful friend and ex-wife Laura. The fact that we both opened our hearts to have a harmonious relationship after divorce is a rare and an incredibly special thing. Then to work on this project together was a reminder why we were in each other’s lives in the first place. I am discovering more and more each day that, as risky as it may be, when I open my heart, I open my world and something incredible is created. My relationship with Laura is one of those special things, and this retreat is another.
As we were planning the retreat, creating the program, finding venues, arranging transfers, promoting, and selling spots for this event, my hope was that it would be an event that helped people, not just with their authorship pursuits, but with everything in their lives. What I was not expecting, and am so grateful for, is that every one of the people who attended came with open hearts, not just to learn and to change, but to connect with and impact the lives of others. As a result, during the week, some profound transformations happened.
I can’t say for sure, however, I am pretty confident that every person leaving this retreat is changed for the better in some way. This week they have been supported, they have been challenged, they have been tested, and they have been magnificent with what they have achieved. The simple reason is that each one came in with an open heart, and as they did, a new world opened up to them and helped them see more and believe more about what is possible for them. I want to acknowledge them for their bravery and curiosity, and I want to encourage you to open your heart today.
I know, you have probably opened your heart before and it was damaged, maybe even broken. I am sure there have been times when you opened yourself up and someone said or did something that hurt you. Like me, you have been vulnerable and then been ridiculed or judged. Even though you may have been hurt before, I want to encourage you to open your heart again, anyway. What I found was, when I opened my heart, I heard more, I saw further, I felt deeper, I believed stronger, and answers started coming to me. Not just in my own pursuits, but in my interactions with other people on their own human journey.
Opening your heart means believing more in yourself, accepting other people no matter what, listening with a desire to understand, letting people into really know you, warts and all, and giving yourself permission to really feel joy in your life. It may sound challenging, but trust me, it is the most liberating thing you can do. In my podcast this week with Naomi Pendergast, called ‘Move for life’, we discuss how she opened her heart to allow her dance career to transition into a fitness career that she is passionate about. With the movement of your heart, the body will then move in the direction that will open your world.
This week I have seen breakthroughs, new ideas, incredible creativity, life-changing answers, powerful healing, and much deserved self-love, which may sound weird as it was a book writing retreat. Who would have believed it? Knowing what I now know about the power of opening my heart, I believe it fully. We can choose to stay closed, alone, struggling, pretending, unhealthy, stuck, and/or bitter. Or we can decide to open our hearts to the abundance that is in the world just waiting for us. I want to encourage you to open your heart so you can open your world, today.
by admin | 21 Jul, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
My alarm goes off consistently at 5am and, if I am being honest when it rings out, I rarely feel like getting up. I love my bed, and I love sleep, however, very quickly, my love of life and my excitement to get into a new day wins out, and I get straight out of bed. Without wanting to come across as arrogant or full-of-myself, I am also really glad I wake up me. I have spent far too much of my life wishing I could be like, live like, and have like other people. These days I am genuinely happy to be me. An event last week reinforced this to me in a big way, and I hope it helps you feel the same way about yourself.
It was Wednesday morning, the day before leaving for Bali, and my alarm went off predictably at 5am. I jumped out of bed, got into my training gear, and headed out for my daily training session. It was a chilly morning, and I was going to my outdoor gym to do some strength training. I have a pair of training gloves I needed on this morning, which live in my carport, where my car is obviously parked, and where my bike is chained up. As I went to get them to put them on, they were not where they should be. I puzzled for a moment thinking I must have taken them inside, so I went back into my apartment to check, and could not find them.
It was really quite disconcerting as I had used them just a couple of days earlier. I looked high and low, to no avail, and whilst doing so missed the most obvious of situations. So focussed was I on finding my gloves, I didn’t even realise that my bike was gone, and the chain-lock cut and laying on the ground. My bike, and my training gloves had been stolen. I live in a secure apartment block, and somehow overnight someone had got in, cut the chain, and rode away on my bike, wearing my gloves to keep their hands warm. This makes sense as it is winter in Melbourne, and very cold at night, so I am glad the thief had some common sense. LOL!
I had an interesting response over the next thirty minutes. It started predictably with shock, moved onto uneasiness, shifted quickly into anger, and then surprisingly took a dogleg turn into empathy and finally gratitude. I will jump over the shock, uneasiness, and anger, because I am sure you can relate to those. I will spend some time in empathy and gratitude, as they may seem contradictory to the situation. As I was feeling anger because of this unlawful act, I pretty quickly realised that I didn’t ride the bike much anyway so it’s no great loss, and it is insured so it will be replaced with a new one. The person who stole it clearly needed the money, and in fact may have been one of the homeless people living in my area.
This person needed the bike and the money more than I did, and so empathy quickly emerged. In fact, if I believed someone needed my bike, I probably would have given it to them, had their circumstances been such that it would have really made a difference. As I was going through this thought process the anger dissolved, empathy appeared, and then very quickly came gratitude. I was grateful that I have a roof over my head, grateful that I have the money to afford to lose the bike, grateful that I am surrounded by people I love and who love me, and most of all grateful that I get to wake up me every day.
That person, whoever they are, has a tough life. When you have to resort to theft, things are not good. They may have been through abuse, be caught in a cycle of addiction, have conflict as a part of their everyday life, have no money or home, and possibly even wishing they were anyone else but who they are. They have to wake up them, and I get to wake up me. Wow, how grateful I am. I am telling you this story to help you reinforce or come back to the belief that is great that you get to wake up you. When you think about how some people live, and how some people behave, aren’t you glad you get to wake up you?
In my podcast this week called Lay down the oars, with Bill Williamson, we talk about his new book, ‘Straining at the oars’, and the challenges he has gone through and overcome in his life. No matter what he dealt with, he had a strong sense of self and a powerful faith which helped him believe that waking up himself was wonderful and necessary to help him get through. I hope you feel the same. As you lay your head on your pillow tonight, I encourage you to spend some time thinking about all the wonderful things you have to be grateful for, and when you wake up in the morning you will be glad that you get to wake up you.
by admin | 14 Jul, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
There is a classic song by ‘Kool and the Gang’ that starts with the lyrics (please sing along);
“Celebrate good times, come on.
Celebrate good times, come on.
There’s a party goin’ on right here, a celebration to last throughout the years.
So, bring your good times and your laughter too, we gonna celebrate your party with you”.
I love this song; however, I do believe it is doing the word ‘celebration’ a grave injustice. Why is it that celebration is limited to the times when things are good, and going well? Why do we wait for an achievement or a milestone to celebrate? Why can’t we find something to celebrate right now, no matter what is happening? Why don’t we simply and consistently celebrate this remarkable life we have been given and the opportunities that are presented to us every single day?
I had a wonderful experience during the week just past. It was definitely unexpected, it was absolutely challenging to my beliefs, and it was transformational and paradigm shifting for me. Just a few days earlier, I found out that a very special man, I had really only known for about a year, passed away unexpectedly. Even though I really didn’t know him that well, so strong was the connection we had formed during that time, I had no hesitation in clearing my schedule to attend his funeral.
As I arrived, I genuinely wore my somber funeral face because I wanted to respect the passing of this man and show his friends and family how affected I was about his death. I was not expecting the welcome I got when I arrived. Firstly, it was a very small group of close friends and family, so my first thought was that maybe I shouldn’t be there. The second thing that struck me like a bolt of lightning were the smiles, joy, and gratitude I was greeted with. In fact, if I am being honest, I found it quite challenging to my preconceived idea of the appropriate behaviour at a funeral. As I sat waiting for the funeral to begin, I was a little uncomfortable with the laughter and joy that was happening all around me, but then the funeral began.
I sat there listening to people talk about this wonderful man, and I started to relax, in fact really enjoy the experience. Whilst there were many tears shed and obvious grieving, it was a beautiful celebration of a life well lived, and a legacy that will continue for generations to come. Sitting there, getting into the joy and gratitude, I started questioning the societal pressure that seems to suggest it is only appropriate to wait to celebrate when things are great, when something is achieved, or when there is a milestone to be recognised. Why can’t we celebrate at a funeral and honour the person who has passed with joy, laughter, and gratitude? Who made the rule that we can’t celebrate a poor choice, knowing that if we learn from it, something amazing will happen. Why did we buy into the rubbish that a birthday is celebrated only once per year when really, we should be celebrating our life every single day, whilst we have it?
I would like to declare today, and every day forth, a day of celebration. I want to celebrate me for the great things I do, the person I am becoming, and the things I am learning every day. I want to celebrate you, for who you are at the core, and who you can become if you choose. I want to celebrate everything that happens because I know, with the right perspective, something great will come from it. I want to celebrate having the free will to choose celebration as a way of my life moving forward. I want to encourage you to do the same.
In my podcast this week called Comfortably uncomfortable, I celebrate with Matthew Dickson his overcoming Schizophrenia after 27 years. We celebrate his bike ride across Canada to raise money to support his mission to help people suffering from mental health issues in third world and developing countries. It is an incredibly compelling and inspiring conversation.
If you have got to this stage of the blog, then celebrate. If you have decided to find something every day to celebrate, then celebrate. When you wake up tomorrow morning, and as your eyes open, then celebrate. Life is worthy of celebration. Don’t wait, celebrate every day, no matter what is happening. So, let’s change the lyrics of Kool and the Gang’s song to “Celebrate ALL times, come on!”
by admin | 8 Jul, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
There are some things in our life that are so important, so simple, and so obvious, yet we ignore them, miss them, or disregard them on a day to day, even moment to moment basis. I am grateful that I choose, on a regular basis, to put myself into an environment where I can be reminded of these important, simple, and obvious things. I was at a weekend conference recently and was listening to an amazing speaker, Andy Stanley, and when he made the statement, every conversation is a construction zone, I immediately felt chills running down my spine.
What did he mean by that? Let’s think about what happens in a construction zone. There are many things that happen, but we can really distil it down to two very basic things. On a construction site, something is either being built up or torn down. Right? See what I mean? Chilling! Andy says that every conversation is a construction zone, in fact, I would like to suggest that every word, every look, every posture, and every sound you make in an interaction with another human (or yourself) is a construction zone.
The reason why I had chills as i was listening to this was because, as Andy was talking, I was reflecting on the many conversations and interactions i have had in my life that have left a destruction of rubble and debris in their wake. I also thought about the many times my heart, my will, or my hope had been torn down by the words of other people. I was just a child, and this was well over 50 years ago, when my life started down a destructive path after thoughtless comments by teachers who didn’t understand this concept.
I have mentioned before in previous blogs, books, and podcasts that as the younger brother of a very smart and well-behaved boy, I lived in his shadow during my primary school years. I was always a year behind, and always went into the class with the same teacher he had the year before. I think, almost without exception, for the next 4 or 5 years I would hear comments like, ‘why aren’t you more like your brother’, ‘your brother would never behave that way’, and ‘I wish you could be a little more like your brother.’ What the teachers were trying to do, in their clueless way, was motivate me to be better. What I heard was, ‘Andrew, you are not good enough as you are’.
Oh my gosh, talk about a demolition! That one belief, deposited in the mind of a young boy, has played out time and time again over my life, and it has left even more destruction in its wake. This feeling of insecurity and always trying to prove myself, and gain approval and acceptance, has led me to situations and circumstances I regret to this day. Three marriages and divorces, failed businesses, lost income, getting sacked as a professional athlete, and many more things I will not get into right now.
Please don’t get me wrong, I am not blaming my teachers for my life. I am responsible for my behaviours and actions, I spoke to myself in destructive ways, and I chose to focus on thoughts that led me down a destructive path. I just want you to get the point that, whilst we are all responsible for our own outcomes in life, words and conversations can start a process that will build or demolish. My feelings of not being good enough have affected my own internal chatter, not to mention my conversations with others. I know in my past I had interactions with others that demolished rather than built up, and for that I am very sorry.
Whilst I cannot change the past, neither can you by-the-way, I am in total control of my conversations moving forward. I am now very deliberate about my own self-talk and building myself up. When I catch any negative self-talk, I remind myself how worthy, capable, resilient, creative, courageous, and fabulous, I really am. In addition, it is my mission to leave every conversation and interaction, with other people, knowing in my heart I have built up a person, or many people, and that they feel better about themselves, their life, and their future. I hope you will do the same moving forward.
In my podcast this week called Ask and then act, I speak with the queen of conversation that builds, Justine Martin. How else could this incredible lady deal with MS, Cancer, a range of other medical challenges, domestic violence, and other traumas to go on to build seven businesses and have an incredible impact on many lives? Simple, she understands the ‘construction zone’ power of her words and conversations, with herself and others.
As you get on with your day, can I encourage you to be aware of every thought you have and every word that comes out of your mouth? Whether you know it, understand it, believe it or not, every interaction you have, with yourself and others, will have one of two possible outcomes. Just remember that every conversation is a construction zone and will either build up or tear down the person you are communicating with. Spend the rest of your life being a builder, then watch and enjoy what will grow from it.
by admin | 2 Jun, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
We have lived for many years within a framework of society and led by a perception of certain words that may have defined our current thinking and experience of life. Words like success, failure and the one I want to focus on this week, achievement. My question to you is this; based on your definition of ‘achievement’ how are you experiencing life right now? Is it time to redefine achievement?
I was spending time with an incredible group of achievers last week. It was the 20 year reunion for the 2003 national premiership winners, Melbourne Phoenix. This is an incredible group of really talented and tall ladies, who did amazing things as players and a team. I was grateful to be a part of their success. As I drove home, I started reflecting on achievement. For the vast majority of my life, external achievement has been my aim. Why? And this is important to understand, as it certainly was in my life. As a young child, seeded from thoughtless words planted by teachers in primary school over several years, I developed a belief in my mind that I was not good enough as I was. My response to this inner belief interestingly was not to shy away and use not being good enough as an excuse for ‘underachievement’, I went the other way. In my young mind I concluded that the only way to be ‘enough’ in my eyes and the eyes of others was to achieve something exceptional.
I was a skinny, sickly, and insecure mama’s boy, and for some reason decided that my way to ‘enoughness’ would happen as a result of becoming a famous athlete. I was ill-equipped in many ways to become a professional Australian Footballer, my sport of choice, but didn’t let the facts or logic stop me from my headlong pursuit to be respected, admired, and feel that I was enough. I worked relentlessly to achieve my dream, and from the age of 16 to 23 I played Australian Football at the highest level. Did I feel any better about myself? Although proud of my achievements, I still didn’t feel worthy.
So, I thought to myself, I need to achieve in another arena. As I began a career in the fitness industry, I started working obsessively to create a body that I believed would help me feel good about myself and cause others to admire and accept me. I achieved it and am glad I started habits back then that continue to help me be a healthier person today, however, it never helped me feel like I was good enough. So, I kept searching. The answer must be out there somewhere, I thought. I threw myself headlong into business and worked harder than necessary as I believed being busy, working harder than others, would build a belief in myself that I was a worthy and wonderful human. In fact, it had the totally opposite effect.
After two years of working well over 100 hours per week in two businesses, I was in close to $100K debt. I was broke, I was broken, I was lost, I was depressed, and my self-worth and feeling of ‘enoughness’ had sunk to an all-time low. I didn’t understand how, after all I had been aspiring to achieve and the things I had achieved, I still felt as if I was a loser. It was time to redefine achievement. I am now the author of eight books, am a passionate speaker, mentor, and podcaster, but despite these ‘achievements’ what gives me the greatest feeling of self-worth, peace, and joy is none of those things.
I finally recognised that my external achievement, whilst nice, was never going to change how I felt about myself. That was, is, and will always be an inside job. I redefined achievement for myself. My goal moved from achieving; an improved physical appearance and performance, more money, more popularity, more book sales, more likes on social media, etc., to achieving inner peace and joy. I started focusing on who I was at the core and worked to achieve more of the traits that defined me as a man I could be proud of. Understanding, accepting, and loving myself for who I was, despite my flaws and irrespective of external achievements, was my new aspiration. My heart for helping others was something about myself I loved, so I worked harder to become more of that man. Compassion, forgiveness, and love were traits I worked hard to achieve. Gratitude, living in the moment, and seeing every experience as one that will enrich me in some way has become my ultimate achievement. Self-acceptance, self-love, and feeling I am good enough have become an automatic result of these inner achievements.
In my podcast this week, called ‘Flip the narrative’ I speak with Cam F Awesome. From an Olympic boxer to documentary star, comedian, and speaker, Cam is someone who has redefined many things, achievement being one of them. What about you? What are you chasing right now, believing it will bring happiness and fulfilment? When you achieve it, will it really? Why not look at achieving the things that will build you on the inside. It’s simple, all you need to do is redefine achievement.
by admin | 20 May, 2023 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
It’s a word I hadn’t heard much of – as it is not used much these days – until watching the movie Night at the Museum – the battle of the Smithsonian. In this movie, Amy Adams plays Amelia Earhart, and she says to character, Larry Daley, as she asks if he enjoys what he does, “You say you like what you do, but what I see in front of me is a man who has lost his moxie.” It is not a word that we hear much anymore and it is not a word we use much anymore, but it is a great word. This week I want to ask you to help me bring moxie back.
The dictionary definition of Moxie is The ability to face difficulty with spirit and courage. If there was ever a time to face difficulty with spirit and courage, I would have to say now is it. Interest rates are rising, the cost of living is expanding, job security is dwindling, health is declining, and times are challenging. Unless, that is, we choose to get up, dust ourselves off, get out, and find our moxie. Add ‘spirit’ and ‘courage’ to anything you are facing, and you have a winning formula, that’s for sure.
I think we all understand the meaning of ‘courage’. In my mind, it simply means facing your fear and doing what you need to do to live your best life. The word ‘spirit’ however, can leave room for interpretation. So, I plugged the word into the Thesaurus, and here are some of the words that came up to embody ‘spirit’: soul, essence, life, life-force, attitude, strength, character, force, fortitude, determination, heart, faith, and love, just to name a few. Can you imagine how good things would be if you owned some or all of those traits. Are you ready for the good news? You already do. Moxie is part of your DNA, you may just need to pull it out, dust it off, and own it.
I had dinner this week with two amazing ladies, both who epitomise the word ‘moxie’. It was the 85th birthday of moxie-laden Brenda Richards, an incredible lady I randomly met on one of my walks a few months ago. I will talk more about her shortly. Through Brenda, I met the incredible Eva Sifis, a lady who has shown all sorts of moxie to deal with being hit by a car and sustaining a significant acquired brain injury back in 1999. That event ended one part of her life, but due to her powerful moxie, it started another part, which is still evolving and empowering others as you read this.
Brenda Richards has lived in the same home in the suburb of St Kilda, Melbourne, for more than 60 years. It took much longer than it should have for Eva, Brenda, and I to walk down the street to take Brenda out for dinner for her birthday. Why? Brenda knew every second person, and they stopped to chat and wish her a happy birthday. She is most definitely part of the fabric of this suburb, for sure. I don’t have time to get deep into her story, but she is a survivor, and has developed an amazing heart for people. A challenging beginning in life, led her to be travelling on the itinerant track in her teens from town to town, and job to job, just making enough to get by. She has now authored many books, has written a TV series for children and is just as feisty today as I am sure she was in her teens. She is the queen of moxie.
How can you add some moxie into the things you are working on, the people you are working with, and the struggles you are facing right now? Moxie is courage and spirit. Courage means, in essence, face it, deal with it and act on it, whether you want to, believe you can or not. You know what you have to do, don’t you? Spirit means do it with heart, with enthusiasm, with zest, with strength, with determination, and with all of your life-force. That, my friend, is simply a decision. Things don’t always look easy, fun, or desirable, however, you can make them meaningful with moxie. So, let’s bring moxie back.
In my podcast this week with Yana Hempler, called Run for purpose, I have the pleasure of meeting another lady full of moxie. Coming from Russia to Canada, and with a fear of running, she now runs every day, helps other people run, and she ran 30 marathons in 30 days to raise money for a great cause. She loves running now, it is something she does with great joy, overflowing enthusiasm, and endless moxie.
I have moxie, you have moxie, and we all have moxie. It may be hidden and may have been buried deep inside of you for a long time, but it’s there waiting for you to drag it out to see the light of day. This incredible world, we are blessed to live in, is not always easy, as you may be experiencing right now. However, trust me when I say, it can always be a joy, no matter what is going on, if you bring back your moxie.
