by admin | 10 Oct, 2020 | Andrew's Blog, Joyful Longevity
It’s been well over 30 years in the health and wellbeing industry for me, and I have to say I have pretty much loved every day of it. There have been some challenges, some frustrations, some poor choices, some direction changes and some uncertainty, but I have loved the journey, nevertheless. As I reflect on my time, and what I have learned in the process of helping people reach higher levels of wellbeing, there is one thing I know for sure. That is this; no matter what you put in your mouth, do for exercise or change with your lifestyle, optimal wellbeing is not possible if you don’t love yourself.
After everything I have learned about eating, exercise, and all the other physical elements of getting into shape, and what I have observed about people who are living wonderful lives of optimal wellbeing and those who are not, I now know for a fact that it is an inside job. I have seen far too many people, including yours truly, thinking they could eat and exercise their way to acceptance, validation and self-worth. I was a crazy over-trainer and extreme eater, worried that if I missed a training session, or put even the smallest piece of indulgence-type food into my body, it would show, I would ruin all my hard work and not be admired. I ate super clean, I trained regularly, and you would look at me and say, ‘That guy is super healthy.’ You may think twice, however, if you knew what was happening in my head and consequently in my body.
In my head were doubts about how I looked and concern that I would not be admired. In my body was fear, stress and anxiety that was wreaking havoc on my immune system, my DNA and the other hormones and physiological processes in my body. Let me tell you this, and I want you to hear it loud and clear; no amount of salad, vegetables, steamed fish or chicken can compensate for self-loathing, and, the stress, anxiety, fear and resentment it causes. So, are you ready for my prescription for optimal wellbeing and joyful longevity? Here it is; feed yourself love and actively move towards self-worth.
The way we eat and what we put into our bodies is often a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. The extreme way I was eating, was a reflection of my insecurity and need to be admired. In my recent podcast conversation, ‘Building a positive relationship with food,’ with Craig Harper, he talks about his young years as ‘a fat kid.’ He describes how, even though he knew he shouldn’t be eating it, he would consume three meat pies, because, and I quote, ‘It would make me feel f#@&ing amazing for 20 minutes of the day.’ He then when on to say, ‘for the other 1420 minutes of that day, I felt ashamed.’ Why did Craig eat the three pies? It was self-loathing. The only way he could get any comfort to ease his turmoil was in that instantaneous moment of gastronomic pleasure.
I would ask you to assess, not the food you eat, but the inner voice that moves you to the choices you make. It is a firm belief of mine that all food is good. Of course, some we should eat more of and some we should eat less of. But, make no mistake about it, the food is not responsible for the results you experience in your life, it’s the feeling that moves you to eat the food that will determine your level of wellbeing and the quality of your life. Three meat pies did not chase Craig down the street, back him into a corner, hold him down and force their way into his mouth. He chose to eat them, to help ease his feelings of self-loathing. Craig is now in a very different place in his life and eats in a wonderfully balanced fashion, which includes some indulgence. He does it naturally and normally, because he has learned to love himself.
I have moved from my extreme way of eating to a far more enjoyable and balanced approach, which definitely includes, chocolate, alcohol and all the good stuff. Why am I in a better place with my eating? Because I love me! It has taken time, it’s been challenging, but I can honestly say, I love and value myself and I am worth looking after.
Right now, as you are reading this, I would ask you to monitor your self-talk. What are you saying to you? When you ask yourself how you feel about yourself, what is your answer to you? This is the place to start if you want to live a life of joy, wellbeing and longevity. Feed yourself positive words, audios, blogs, books and feelings, and, when you do, you will start feeding yourself in a way that will fuel and fortify your body. This is a big topic that I have covered very briefly in this blog, but my message to you is that you are good enough and worthy to be loved. When you start feeling that way, you will love yourself to optimal wellbeing.
by admin | 3 Oct, 2020 | Andrew's Blog, Inspiration
There are storms in our life, literally and figuratively. In fact, at any one time, we are either in a storm, coming out of a storm or about to go into a storm. That just seems to be the way life is. COVID has been one of those storms. There are also financial storms, relationship storms, health storms, career storms and many other types of storms we deal with on a regular basis. The storm itself is not the problem, it’s how you respond to the storm that matters. I just heard a wonderful story about why it’s important to drive through the storm.
A man and his teenage daughter were driving home after a day out together. The daughter was learning to drive at the time and needed practice, so asked her father if she could drive. Being a supportive an encouraging man, he said, ‘Absolutely.’ They stopped the car, swapped seats and the daughter started driving. The father was very impressed by what an attentive and competent driver his daughter was. After a short time driving, big black clouds started rolling in and they could both see a storm coming. The daughter started to get a little concerned and asked her father whether they should pull over and wait for the storm to pass. The father looked at her and said, ‘No, we’ll be fine, keep driving.’ So, with his confidence in her, she kept driving.
Soon, the wind started blowing and the rain started falling and it was getting quite heavy. The girl, started to get scared said, ‘Dad, I think I should pull over and wait for the storm to pass.’ But again, the father said, ‘No darling, just keep driving through the storm.’ She trusted her father and God, so she kept going. It didn’t take long before the storm really started to reach its full force. There was thunder, lightning and the rain was pelting against the windscreen, making it difficult to see even just a few feet ahead. All the other cars on the road were pulling over and stopping. The terrified girl again asked her father, ‘Shouldn’t we stop? All the other cars are. It’s hard to see and I’m scared.’ The father, in the same calm and relaxed fashion, said again, ‘No, keep driving through the storm.’
Very soon they were through the storm. The rain stopped, the wind eased, and the sun started to break through the clouds. The girl was visibly shaken, but relieved and proud of herself, as she looked at her father, smiling. After regaining her composure, she asked, ‘Why did we keep driving through the storm dad, when stopping seemed to be the safer thing to do?’ The father requested that she stop the car at that point. They pulled over, got out of the car, looked back along the road they had just travelled, and the storm they had just come through, and he asked the girl, ‘Where are all the people who stopped?’ She looked quizzically, shrugged her shoulders and said, back there somewhere, in the storm.’ ‘Yes,’ her father replied, ‘they stopped and so they are still in the storm and will be stuck there longer. We kept driving and we made it out the other side.’
There are two powerful messages in this inspiring story. The first is to keep moving when you are dealing with a storm in your life. Don’t; stop, give-up, have a tantrum, start blaming, go into victim-mode or believe you aren’t good enough. Keep moving forward one step at a time, taking positive action and soon you will be through the particular storm in your life, whatever it may be. The second message is one I believe may be even more powerful. If the girl didn’t have her father by her side encouraging her to keep going, what would she have done? She would have stopped in the storm and been stuck in it for longer, right?
I heard this story last Sunday, and it really resonated with me this week, as I, like many, are travelling through the storm which is COVID19. I have often thought I just need to toughen up and get through it alone, but I have recently recognised that I have people around who have helped me through the storm. There is one person in particular, who has been an amazing friend and support, and has helped me enormously to drive through the storm. If this person is reading this, they will know who they are, and I say, thank you for sitting next to me in the car as I drive through the storm.
As for you, please find someone to encourage and support you as you keep driving through your storm, whatever that may be. In this week’s podcast, ‘Present – It’s your body.’ I speak to the inspiring Dr Kelly-Anne Garnier, who had to drive through many storms to become a General Practitioner. She now spends her time encouraging people, who need help with their mental or physical wellbeing, to present themselves to their GP, or other practitioner, to partner with as they drive through the storm to optimal wellbeing.
Life is a wonderful place, full of amazing possibilities that are waiting for you on the other side of the storm. All you need to do is to find a partner, a coach, a mentor or a friend and, with their support and encouragement, drive through the storm to the sunshine waiting on the other side.
