We live in a world that is largely driven and controlled by numbers and measurements. How much we weigh, how much we earn, the score we get at school, the numbers of steps we do each day, the number of sales we get, our IQ, and all of the other numbers that put us in a box and for many, limit their lives. Now, don’t get me wrong, there is definitely a place for numbers and measurements. However, the most crucial metric for joy and success in life is one that cannot be quantified. That measure is your heart.
Let me give you an example of how dangerous blindly following measures can be. We have all heard of BMI. If not, it stands for Body Mass Index. This index is calculated by comparing height and weight and standardizing it as a score that then categorises a person as ‘Underweight’, ‘Normal’, ‘Overweight’, or ‘Obese’. Let me ask you this question, if your BMI rated you as overweight or obese, what would you think and what would you do? You would possibly think less about yourself and may even start doing extreme things to lose weight. Right? Without wanting to come across as arrogant, I am very lean and healthy. However, when I put my weight and height into the formula which calculates BMI, I am categorised as significantly overweight. If I didn’t know better, I might start doing very unhealthy things to get into the ‘normal’ range. People do this all the time. BMI is a very dangerous measure to adhere to. As are many others I won’t mention right now.
I do want to discuss an inspiring story I recently heard that I hope will help you focus on the one measure that counts most. You may have heard of Bo Eason, who was a professional NFL player in the USA. After being injured and unable to continue his playing career, he became an actor, and wrote and acted in a play called, Runt of the Litter. As a schoolboy, Bo decided he was going to be a famous athlete. He drew a stick figure, representing himself, and underneath it wrote, ‘Best Safety in the NFL’. If you are not sure what ‘Safety’ is, it’s a position in American Football. That was his dream and vision, and he spoke about it with everyone he knew, even his high school football coach.
At the time, he measured 5 feet tall, and about 60kg in weight. If you are not sure, that is small and light, and makes it challenging to play football at the highest level. His coach felt it his duty to point out these measurement deficiencies to Bo, and that the chance of him playing at the highest level was effectively non-existent. He went home deflated and told his father what his coach had said to him. I hope we can all be like Bo’s father when we are talking to anyone about their potential. Bo’s dad asked him, ‘they measured your height and weight. Did they measure your heart?’ What a powerful and encouraging question that filled Bo with hope. His father, a ranch owner and farmer, went on to tell Bo a story.
He explained that the most valued and important worker on the farm was the dog. The cattle dog did a power of work herding the animals and keeping things functioning efficiently. When there was a new litter of pups, they tied a ribbon around the neck of the runt of the litter, and then when the pups were a little older, they sold all of them, except the runt. Why? The runt worked harder, achieved more, and was the most valuable dog in the litter. Bo’s father went on to say, you just remember that as you are working towards your dream and when others may doubt your ability. The bottom line of what Bo’s dad was telling him was that the other measures don’t matter, what matters most is what is in your heart.
It is so easy for us to compare ourselves to other people or the standards that education or society places on what defines success. When we do, we can often start to feel less than enough and that there is no way, based on those metrics, that we measure up. But the only measure that counts is your heart. Do you have enough courage to work harder than others to achieve what you want, even if it is against the odds? Do you have enough perspective to find joy and happiness in things that do not rely on external achievement? Do you have enough love in your heart to overcome the situations you may face that will chip away at your self-worth? Do you have enough faith and patience to trust that everything is okay? Do you have enough inner strength to know that you are good enough just as you are?
All the answers you need to live a life of meaning, significance, and joy, do not reside in your head, or in the measures that we may believe categorise and rate us in terms of our value. The answers are waiting in your heart for you to listen to, harness, and use to create the amazing life that is there waiting for you. In my podcast this week called Joy is free, Em Chadbourne and I talk about the joy that is waiting for you, when you just turn off your brain and open your heart. As a human being, you have a heart with the capacity to move you to do, have, or become whatever you desire. So, moving forward from this moment, remember to pay less attention to the other metrics and always measure your heart.