Your browser version is outdated. We recommend that you update your browser to the latest version.

Make sure you can attain... What you're chasing!

Posted 9/27/2019

It’s a sneaky trick; to fool a donkey into chasing the carrot it will never attain, just to get it working, and, moving for human gain. It’s sneaky, but it works, for us not the donkey. Do you want to know what’s crazy about the human race? We should know better than a donkey, right? We should know that the chase is futile, yet we dangle unattainable carrots in front of own noses, every day, and start on a chase that will leave us frustrated, unfulfilled and wondering what will give us the happiness and success that we all want in our lives.

I’ve just stayed for ten days with a wonderful couple in St Louis, Deb & Troy, and their adorable little 5 month old Shitzu pup. I love dogs, and, Dibby is ridiculously cute. From the moment I set eyes on her, I wanted to hold her, pat her and play with her. She is very cute, very shy, very connected to Deb and Troy, and, very wary of strangers, like me. So, when I went to pat her, she ran and hid. I tried for a while to chase her to give her some affection, but every time, my attempts were futile, so I stopped chasing. Interestingly, when I stopped chasing her, she would come to me and start sniffing & licking, and then, every time I tried to chase her again, she ran away. Hmmm.

I think it would be fair to say that everyone wants to be happy. I know I want to be happy, that’s for sure. The sad thing is that for much of my life I have been chasing happiness in all the wrong places. I was chasing things that were unattainable. I was chasing external achievement and validation to help me feel good about myself, and, be happy. I know now that it could never work, because fulfilled happiness is an inside job. For many years I thought being a famous footballer would give me the recognition and happiness I wanted. I chased it, I made it to the top, but it didn’t make me happy. Then for many years I chased the perfect male body, because I thought it would make me more desirable and hence happy. It left me over-trained and unfulfilled. I chased business and financial success to help me feel good about myself and be happy, but again, I ran myself, and, my bank account into the ground. It left me feeling even more disillusioned and hopeless.

How many seemingly ultra-successful people do you know, or know of, that, even with incredible fame and wealth, are far from happy? Why do many millionaires, and billionaires, with more money than they will ever need, continue to chase more? Why do so many celebrity actors and entertainers, even with all their fame and fortune, turn to drugs and alcohol? How could people who steal, to get more in their life, not think that they are going to get caught and lose it all again? How many people do you know who chase weight loss, but never achieve it, long-term? People are chasing things, every day, that will never give them what they want, yet they keep chasing.

Now, please don’t get me wrong. I absolutely want to be financially free, optimally healthy, make a difference in this world and live a life of abundance and happiness. What I have finally come to learn, is that secret to attaining these things, like getting attention from cute little Dibby, is to stop chasing, start focusing on inner peace and then start receiving.

Inner peace is what you want, and, it’s easy to catch

As humans, we are created to chase. Chase food, chase protection, chase money, chase status, chase security, chase recognition, chase love and chase significance. Somewhere along the way we were sold the idea that it’s the attainment of these things that will lead to happiness. What are you chasing right now? What have you chased, achieved, and, actually found the happiness you are hoping for in your life? If you have, then I am guessing you finally realised that the answers don’t lie in your material achievements or external validation, but in knowing and believing that you are good enough, just as you are.

Why would someone, who has more money than they will ever need, continually chase more if they believed they were enough? Why would someone in a loving relationship, look elsewhere, if they truly believed they were enough? Why would someone with success and money, get seduced into an addiction of some kind, if they really deep down believed they were enough? I know this stuff intimately, because for much of my life, I have been chasing a greater level of success, money and attention, for one reason, and one reason only. Because I never felt that I was enough.

This flawed world rewards and reinforces the things that seduce many people into the comparison trap. We are continually exposed to, look at and compare ourselves with people who are fitter, leaner, better looking, richer, and seemingly happy and more successful. We compare ourselves and come up short, leading us to the conclusion that we are not good enough. We then push ourselves to bridge an unbridgeable gap, because no matter how much we accomplish, there is always someone who is; fitter, leaner, better looking, richer, and seemingly more successful. We are stuck, just like a donkey chasing the carrot on the end of a string that it will never catch. Are you relating to anything I am saying? Are you sick of chasing that which you can never catch? Are you ready for something different, better and immediate?

If yes, then get ready for the answer to happiness. Here it is; you are already enough, just as you are. Okay, now I’ve said it, the only thing left for you to do, is believe it. Do you? I am well into the second half-century of my life, and I am grateful that I will be living to over 100, so I still have lots of   time to make up for all the time I wasted not believing how great I already am. I have lost money, wasted time, chased love and pursued external validation for too long. I sit here writing this with an inner peace because I know that I am good enough, just as I am. This doesn’t mean I am not aspiring to have more success, and a greater impact on the world. I am. I have a massive vision, and, I know it will happen. Why? Because I believe am enough!

Now, back to you. Please know that you will never earn, perform or acquire your way to happiness. It is not possible, because happiness is an inside job. If that’s the case, then wouldn’t it be worth starting the process to truly believe you are enough, now, just the way you are? You are a wonderful miracle. You are born for a purpose. You have unique and amazing talents. You have an incredible capacity for change and adaptation. You are enough. If someone has ever told you that you are not good enough, it’s a lie, and, they are wrong. The only person whose opinion matters, is your own.

You don’t need to chase the carrot, you just have to go into the garden and pick it, or to the store and buy it. You don’t need to chase things to feel better about yourself. Your accomplishments are admirable, and certainly to be proud of, but they don’t define you, nor do they validate you. You are already validated by the fact that you are alive. I wish it was as simple as me telling you that you are good enough, for you to believe it. I am not that naïve to know that you have work to do, as I did, to believe in your heart that you are good enough just as you are. It is my greatest desire that you’ll stop chasing the unattainable and know with certainty that you are enough, just as you are.