Life is a wonderful adventure, filled with amazing opportunities and incredible possibilities. Is that how you feel? Do you wake up in the morning bouncing with passion, purpose, and power, or is the snooze button your best friend? No matter what you answered, I want to encourage you to open your mind, your heart, and your eyes to an amazing life. Are you with me? If so, we just need to get four pieces in the right place and then all systems are go.
As I am writing this blog, I am sitting many thousands of metres above the ground as I fly from Melbourne to Sydney. It is one of those wonderful times of the year when I attend a weekend conference to help me refresh my vision, surround myself with inspiring humans, renew my mind, reset my focus, and refill my cup. I can’t wait. Like you, I have dreams and aspirations in my life that at times get blurred by challenges, distractions, and discouragement. So, for me, these weekend events every four months, are essential.
I used to think that once I had a dream, I would be good to go out and make it happen. I was wrong. I used to believe that a knowledge of the process was enough to move me to the fulfilment of my dreams. Again, I was wrong. I used to imagine that once I had set a goal, I would simply achieve it. I couldn’t have been more wrong. I understandably felt that consistent actions would predictably lead to the outcome I desired. Yes, but there is a condition. So, then, the question must be asked, what is it that will help me move forward to live the life of my dreams? Interestingly, as important as the dream, my goals, and my actions are, who I am at the core and who I believe myself to be, seem to be the foundation of all joy, happiness, health, meaning, and success in life.
There is no doubt about it, we need a dream and a vision for our lives. Without a clear vision of how you want to live in every area of life and a daily reminder of how important it is to you; nothing will change in your life. It is also very true that without specific goals to attain measurable steps along the way to fulfilling that vision or dream, it will be more of a wish than a dream that will remain in your imagination. There is no doubt that without the consistent and daily application of specific and relevant actions, to the point of unconscious habits, no goal will be attained nor dream fulfilled. However, the most neglected and most important part of this process, is who you truly believe yourself to be. In other words, your identity.
The person who is trying to give up smoking but doesn’t already identify themselves as a healthy person, will probably struggle in their quest. The person who is determined to write a book but doesn’t think they are good enough will derail themselves at some stage. The person wanting to be in a fulfilling relationship yet doesn’t feel worthy or loveable, will sooner or later sabotage the relationship. I know this one from painful and heartbreaking experience. The key to changing your life is to change the view of yourself, or simply remind yourself of the incredible person you already are.
The only thing that stops me in any aspiration, is me. It is the lies I tell myself, and they are lies. When I think I am not good enough, it is a lie. When I believe I am not smart enough, another lie. When I believe myself to be unworthy, a big fat lie. However, whether they are lies or not, and they are, it is what we believe that will become our truth. So, the key thing is to start believing the actual truth about who you are. Are you ready to do a simple activity? If so, write down three or four of the most powerful, positive, and meaningful character traits you already believe about yourself. Not what you would like to develop or become, but those you already firmly believe you have in spades. For me, I know I am courageous, kind, honest, and emotionally mature.
It is one thing to identify and write these down, it is another thing to own them and use them to drive our choices and actions. So now, every time I look at my dreams, goals, and the actions I need to take, I ask the question; what would a courageous, kind, honest, and emotionally mature person do in this situation? I answer the question, and off I go. Whenever I face an obstacle, I ask the question; what would a courageous, kind, honest, and emotionally mature person do in this situation? The answer helps me find a solution, and off I go. If someone criticises me, judges me, or hurts me, I ask the question; what would a courageous, kind, honest, and emotionally mature person do in this situation? The answer helps me face the situation with perspective and compassion, and off I go. Whenever I am feeling tired, discouraged, or stuck, I ask the question; what would a courageous, kind, honest, and emotionally mature person do in this situation? The answer gets me re-energised, refocused, unstuck, and off I go.
It is this identity which is the foundation of every action I take, and keep taking, which leads me to achieving the goals that move me towards the vision I have for the dream life I choose to live. In my heart I know who I am, and I want to encourage you to spend time building this foundation for yourself because you deserve to live the life you dream of. The process is simple; visualise the dream, set the goal, take the actions, and back them up with a strong identity and sense of self.