I love being a human. As much as I love animals, and many inanimate objects, I am glad I am able to type, talk, think, choose, change and create. The one thing about being human that challenges me is my tendency to want things to be easy and comfortable. My observation is that this is a pretty natural human desire, even though the reality is that things are always hard before or after they are easy and comfortable. Yes, things are hard before they are easy or they are hard after they are easy, so, you get to choose your hard.
Let me share two personal scenarios with you to illustrate what I am talking about. One you know, because I am proud to talk about it and do so often, the other is not one I am not all that excited about making public knowledge, but will do so to share this powerful message. ‘Okay Andrew, just suck it up and do it!’ That’s just me talking to myself now and trying to motivate myself! Talking openly and sharing my feelings has always been hard for me, and particularly in situations where conflict could possibly result. So, for a long time I avoided talking and sharing to elude potential judgment and dispute. I always joked, as a footballer, I would win my fights by 50 metres! Yes, run rather than face it.
It was always easier for me, in the uncomfortable moment, to bite my tongue, pretend everything was okay and then go and distract myself with something I enjoyed. Well, that was easy before it got very hard. Yes, three failed marriages are very, very hard! Had I opened myself up, spoke up, shared what was on my heart, dealt with the issues at hand, communicated, negotiated and solved the underlying challenges, it would have been hard in that moment, but made things much easier in the long-term. Can you possibly relate to what I am saying now? So, whilst it easy first, it was way harder later.
I have spoken about my journey to become an author many times, and I will continue to do so because I am proud of it and there is a powerful lesson here. In the moment I decided to write a book it was hard. I was working in two businesses, one that was failing. I was working seven days and over 100 hours per week. I knew nothing about book writing and had no time, no skills, no qualifications and no experience. I think is fair to say, it was hard. If it was so hard, and so illogical, why did I do it? I had a vision and a gut feeling that if I did, then afterwards it would make my life easier and more enjoyable. I can tell you now, 17 years after my first book was published, with my eighth on the way, I don’t have to work seven days and over 100 hours per week, and I love everything that I do. Yes, it was hard before it much easier.
Enough about me. Here we are, back to you and the choices you have. You get to choose your hard. You get to choose whether you do ‘easy’ first and then deal with ‘the hard’ that will always come afterwards or go ‘the hard’ first and then enjoy ‘the easy’ that will come later. You can sit on the couch, eat anything you like now, because it’s easier, and then deal with ‘the hard’ of trying to restore poor health later, or you get off the couch now and do ‘the hard’ to enjoy the ease of optimal wellbeing later. I can tell which I would prefer and do, every day. You can choose to do ‘the easy’ spending now and deal with ‘the hard’ of financial stress later, or you do the hard yards now to work, save now to enjoy the ease of financial strength later. You can learn from my misjudgment and do the hard work to build trust, vulnerability and communication in your relationships now to enjoy the ease of great relationships later or make the same mistake I made too many times.
The point I am trying to share in this blog is that there will always be ‘hard,’ it is unavoidable. The question is, when will you choose to experience that ‘hard’? If you choose ‘the hard’ later, in my experience and observation, it will be harder and maybe even impossible. If you choose ‘hard’ now, while you still have a choice, then ‘the easy’ that will come is your wonderful reward and will bring incredible joy into your life. If you are inspired to reset your wellbeing and look for ‘the hard’ first, then my podcast called, ‘Reset today,’ with Miranda Mae will help. Whatever you are dealing with or aspiring to right now, know that ‘hardness’ is a part of the adventure. In my experience, choosing ‘hard’ first is the best option, so, with your best life in mind, get good at choosing your hard!