Life can seem difficult and complicated at times, can’t it? I do have to admit it right now, with the risk of alienating myself here, I’m loving my life. I’m 50 plus GST this year (that’s 55 for those of you who have no idea what GST is!), and I finally feel like I’m getting it. The wisdom I seem to have accumulated, my journey with Christianity over the last two years and the purpose I have discovered in my life has helped me see how simple life really is. As you make your way through life, I want to help you move with more ease. So, this week, I want to reinforce the power of every single word you say to yourself and others.
This powerful realisation was again reinforced to me, very simply, as I was taking my fluffy four-legged daughter, Joia, for her walk the other day. We are heading towards winter in Australia, and so it’s starting to get darker in the morning when I get up. I’m up around 5:45am, go and do my personal exercise, then come back and take Joia around the block. It was dark when we set off the other day, and Joia was a little less enthusiastic than normal. The fact that I had dragged her off the comfortable bed, from her snuggling position with Laura, may have had something to do with it.
We were walking up the hill and she was dragging her paws a little. I started wondering if there was something wrong. Maybe she wasn’t well, maybe she had some pain, maybe there was something happening that I didn’t understand. I started complicating the whole situation and creating unnecessary stress and worry for myself. Ever done that before?? I then just said to her, in a loving and uplifting tone, ‘Good girl Joia.’ Incredibly, and all of a sudden, her head lifted, her tail started wagging and she went from a slow, paw-dragging walk, to a happy and playful trot. It was simply the result of a few well-chosen words.
The moment it happened, as I do, I thought about writing this blog! We kept walking and Joia trotted along for a little while, happily weeing, sniffing and exploring. Then, she slowed a little and within a short time was back dragging her paws again. So, I said again, in the same tone, ‘Good girl Joia.’ For the second time, her head lifted, her tail started wagging and she went from her slow, paw-dragging walk, to the same happy and playful trot. This happened a few more times over the course of our walk around the block, and when I got home, it was again reinforced to me, that the power and impact of our words is life-changing. As a result of this story, we can see the impact of our words on others. The words, however, that will have the greatest impact on your life are those you say to yourself.
Words start a domino effect that will lead to TEARS of Joy.
I wrote a blog about this back in June last year, and I’m writing a book because I see it as the foundation of health, happiness and success. To me, it’s all about creating TEARS of joy in life. This means, living a life so meaningful, and, achieving & experiencing things so amazing that it results in tears that can only come through pure and passionate joy. Now, this is clearly an emotional state, so it doesn’t really make sense to turn it into a logical formula.
If, however, we can see how things work, and, we can understand the domino effect of our thoughts and words, and, how they determine our life, then maybe we will pay more attention to the words we say to others and to ourselves. To refresh your memory about this TEARS model, it basically states that every success (or other result) you experience in your life, starts with a thought or words, positive or negative. Those words will lead us to an emotional response, positive or negative, which will move us into action, positive or negative, that over time will reinforce and develop a routine, positive or negative, that will predictably lead us to a result, hopefully a successful one. But it all depends on the thought, or words, we use to start the process.
There was an experiment done on how long people could stand in iced water before it became so unbearable, they had to step out of it. There were two parts to the experiment. The first was when the people were on their own and just had to tough it out alone. The second part of the experiment was held on another day, this time they had someone with them, offering words of encouragement. Interestingly, but not surprisingly, with encouragement, people could bear the cold water for twice as long.
The positive and encouraging words from other people, helped the ice-water-standers feel more encouraged, determined and positive. These positive emotions kept them standing, persisting and enduring the discomfort for the twice the length of time. That’s the power of words. We all need the encouragement of others and, in return, it’s my hope that you will spend your life encouraging and supporting other people, as you would hope to receive that same encouragement. The most important person you need to give positive, encouraging and supportive words to is; yourself!
Remember, the power of your words, and the ripple effect they create, will determine the results you get in life, and, the impact you have on others. Try using simple words and statements like; I can, I’m good enough, yes, let’s do it, it will be done, I’m happy, I’m grateful, thank-you, I can improve, I’m in control, I’m responsible, I will do what’s necessary, it’s okay, I’m amazing, go, great, empower, inspired, deliberate, love etc. These are words that will make you feel strong and supported. These are words that will create positive emotion. These words will get you moving in the right direction to create the habits that will bring abundance into your life.
I hope I have made this week’s message simple enough. The only reason, and I mean the only reason, I played professional sport and became a best selling author, is because of the words I used. I thought, ‘I can do it, I can learn, I can improve and I will persist.’ It was simply these words that started the whole ripple effect that led me to the achievements I’ve enjoyed in my life. It will for you also. Just know that you are in control, you get to choose and that all the success you want in the world, starts with a word… the right word.
I am a footballer, and have a very simple brain that has been knocked around far too many times! Make no mistake, simple works for me. If things are too complicated, I often go into meltdown, so, it is a necessity for me to keep things simple. I also find this helps enormously with the people I speak to and work with. It is my greatest mission to create long-term change in people’s lives and to do that, I need to make things simple.
I was trying to get a Zoom video-call happening the other day. It was the first time I had done a Zoom call with this particular person, whose name is Jenny. We got the video happening, but no sound. Both of us tried everything, to no avail. Well, actually, clearly we didn’t try everything, or else we would have been talking!
Just as a side note here, when you say you’ve ‘tried everything’, your brain switches off to further solutions. So, my advice is, don’t say you’ve ‘tried everything’ until you have found the answer and achieved the success you want!
Okay, off my soapbox and back to the story. I called Jenny on the phone, we tried a few more things, and I then I had a brain wave. I said, ‘let’s close it down, shut it off and try again.’ Jenny, agreed, so I ended the call, I ended the Zoom meeting, shut it down, opened it up, called her again, and guess what? It worked! I could hear her, she could hear me, and we had our video meeting. I know what you’re thinking right now, ’Big Deal!’ Well, you see, I actually do think it’s a big deal.
I am not very technologically savvy. Whenever I have an issue, even a small one, I panic. I’m extremely grateful for the people who know what they are talking about, and who often help me. One man, in particular, is my website guy, Patrick. I call him far too often, for things that I know he is wondering how I could be so clueless, and not work myself. Nine times out of ten, he will say to me, ‘Have you tried turning it off, leaving it a while and then turning it on again?’ I try it, and predictably I say, in embarrassment, ‘Oh, that seemed to fix it! Thanks!’ This is not just for my computer, it’s for my modem, my phone, my laptop, software apps and many other devices.
In fact, it happened to me just this morning. I was on LinkedIn, trying to send a message, when it froze on me. I tried a couple of times and then finally decided to close it down for a while and open it up again. Guess what? It worked. So, the question that we need to ask ourselves, as I ask myself regularly is, why do I so often complicate things and think there needs to some confusing and obscure solution, when the answer is as simple as switching it off and then switching it on again?
Switch off, take some time out and then go again
Again, you may be asking, ‘what’s this got to do with anything other than restoring software and devices?’ That’s a great question! Here’s my answer; I think we could apply this same process in our life when things don’t seem to be working the way we want them to. Let me give you an example, I work with many talented and aspiring authors. One thing I know about writing a book, is that you end up looking at, reading and immersing yourself in your book for many months. You may have heard the saying, it’s hard to see the forest for the trees.
After a while, it’s easy to get stuck in a manuscript that you’re not happy with, but not know what to do to fix it. More than several times, people I’m working with, have been in this situation, and so just put their manuscript aside for a few weeks, then come back to it with fresh eyes. All of a sudden, they can see what needs to be done, they go on to finish their book and are very happy with the result. Effectively, they were able to switch off from their book, leave it for a while and then turn it on again, and, the answers came.
Have you ever been in the middle of some sort of conflict with another person? It can easily become a slinging match, as each person feels that their argument is the right one. Well, I don’t know about you, but I’ve never won an argument. Even when I’ve made my case to the point when the other person backs down, I still haven’t won. I have created a rift in a relationship. The times I most effectively deal with conflict is when I listen to the other person’s point of view, without reacting, go away for a while to think about and process it, then come back with a fresh perspective. In these cases, it has always worked out well for both parties. The problems were solved by switching off the arguing, reflecting for a while and then turning the dialogue on again, with the answer.
Have you ever been stuck with a problem you can’t solve? Have you ever plateaued with your training or wellness aspirations? Have you ever realised that if you keep doing the same thing over and over you will keep getting the same results? I was a personal trainer for fifteen years and I loved most of it. The thing that always frustrated me was that I could never really breakthrough financially. I always just lived hand to mouth. Now, don’t get me wrong, I was making great money, but, I had to work hard every day for it, and, I was spending as much as I was earning. I just felt stuck and didn’t know how to break through. So, at the time, I just kept working harder and more hours, thinking that would be the solution. That’s actually called, insanity!
It wasn’t until I decided to turn it off, get away for a while, and come back that I realised what the answer was. That was fifteen years ago, and 2 years after that defining light-bulb moment, I was retired from personal training and was a full-time author and speaker, in a totally different financial position. I have enjoyed this wonderful life for about thirteen years now, and, am looking forward to many more years of bliss. So, what about you? What is it that you are struggling with, stuck in or want to change? What are you persisting with, but feel like you are just spinning your wheels? Are you ready to switch off for a while, leave it to get some fresh perspective and then turn it on again, expecting that the answers will appear? It’s amazing how this works.
You have seen it work with your computer, your phone, your tablet, software applications and many other devices, right? Did you know that your brain is the most sophisticated device there is? It will do anything you program it to do, but sometimes, like technology, it can freeze, shutdown or get stuck. Instead of getting stressed, depressed or feeling helpless and hopeless, why not try something simple? I want to encourage you, this week, whenever you feel like you are struggling to break through with something in your life, simply turn it off, leave it a while and then turn it back on!
I have spent a vast majority of my working life teaching people the concept of one-day-at-a-time. As a personal trainer, I encouraged clients they could increase their fitness one-step-at-a-time, improve their nutrition one-meal-at-a-time and change their life one-thought-at-a-time. When I started mentoring aspiring authors, I taught that a book, no matter how big or small, is written just one-word-at-a-time. This is a pretty simple concept that most people can understand, but, can they stick to it? That’s the question. It seems difficult, especially in the first couple of weeks to commit to this one-day-at-a-time concept. That’s why I want to help you with it, and, dare you to take up my 63-day challenge.
The honeymoon period is the most dangerous period of all, when it comes to trying to create long term change. Why? Because, after a flash of motivation and/or inspiration when we decide to lose weight, make money, write a book, or whatever else we get inspired to do, we often do too much, too soon and run out of puff as quickly as the novelty period wears off. The biggest mistake many people make, as they try to permanently change something in their life, is to think it’s about mental toughness, willpower or requires some sort of natural ability. Very quickly people realise they don’t have that mental fortitude, the willpower or the talent and so talk themselves out of success long before it could become a reality. Are you relating to anything I’m saying so far?
I think we are all aware that our habits determine the results we get in life. So, the question was, how do we change the bad habits and create better ones? Then came along the idea that you can develop a habit in 21-days. So, many people, including me, thought that we could hold on, and, tough it out for 21-days with the promise that new and powerful habits could be created. Well, we all know how that one worked out, don’t we? If we actually made it through to the end of the 21-days, we were often grateful and proud that we did it, but then couldn’t wait to return to our normal way of doing things. The magnetic pull back to our old ways was too strong.
So, what do we know? We know we need to change habits to change the outcomes we are getting in life, and, we know it won’t happen in 21-days, right? So, how long will it take and how do we do it? That’s what this week’s blog is all about, and, the answer is right here for anyone and everyone ready to take action and willing to commit to 63-days to change their life, forever. Yes, I said forever! I know that’s a big statement, and I understand it may be hard to believe, but who convinced you that achieving anything significant had to be hard? Who actually provided undeniable and substantiated evidence that the process to create massive and amazing change was only for the lucky or talented few? I am here to tell you, that you are born to be amazing and destined for great things, if you just decide to take up the 63-day Challenge.
Change your DNA!
For over 20 years Keith Abraham has researched how top performing people harness their PASSION, achieve their GOALS and FOCUS on what’s most important to bring the best out of themselves and their businesses. He has discovered the link between best performance, and people who are passionate about their life. Here’s what Keith knows;
It takes 21 days to create a new habit.
It takes another 21 days to strengthen your resolve to embed that habit, so your poor habits cannot overpower it.
It takes a final 21 days to make your new habit part of your DNA forever.
In this process, at the end of 63 days you will have forgotten about the old habit and have established new and powerful ones. I want you to reflect on the significance of this for a short time, as I tell a true story. I was once talking to a group of Lawyers about this very same concept a few years ago, specifically around health and well-being. I offered them seven simple basic actions they might consider implementing into their daily lives, one being to just drink an extra 500ml of water per day. You know how sceptical lawyers are, right? Well, one of the attendees came to me at the end of the session and explained to me how busy she was, but that she would commit to just one, drinking the 500ml extra of water each day.
I returned to the firm three months later, to follow up, and this lady immediately came up to me. She looked different. In fact, she looked amazing. ‘What have you been doing? More than just drinking an extra 500ml of water per day, I’m guessing?’ She went on to explain how, after a couple of weeks, she had started feeling so much better with just drinking extra water, that she started eating better, exercising regularly and she was feeling wonderful. She had a beam on her face, colour back in her cheeks and she was looking fabulous. All from the commitment to make one simple, seemingly insignificant change over 63-days.
The rest of this blog is devoted to those who are up for a 63-day journey to transform their lives. If that’s you, the rest of this blog is for you, if it’s not, thanks for reading this far and have a great day. If you are still with me, here are the next steps:
Step One – Send me an email to andrew@andrewjobling.com.au and let me know you want to take part in the 63-day challenge. Then I will send you the documents you need.
Step Two – Decide on an area of your life you want to focus on. Is it health & well-being, family, relationships, career, financial, spiritual or other?
Step Three – Pick one to five (no more) very simple, seemingly insignificant actions, you will commit to for the next 63 days. For example; eating something within 15 minutes of getting up, drinking more water, making an extra sales call, spending 15 minutes extra with your children or anything else that you know you need to do.
Step Four – Get clear on why making these changes is important for you, your family, your life and the purpose you are here for. I will send you a sheet to help you with this.
Step Five – get into action, focus on one day at a time, track your results (with the tracking sheet I will send you), find an accountability partner and make NO excuses for missing even one day.
Your goal is to win each day, by ticking the box on the few things you are focussing on. If you are willing to follow these steps, and commit to this 63-day challenge, your life will be unrecognisably amazing in just a few short months.
Last weekend I did something I am very proud of, and, something that will hold a fond place in my memory for many years to come. So, of course, I’m going to write a blog about it. The important thing about this message is that I want to ensure it comes across with the achievement being much less about me and what I accomplished, and far more about the power of a team, a group, a club, a community or whatever you want to call it. I bonded with a new group of people and shared an experience with them that will live on… evidence about the power of the tribe.
I very fortunately came across a wonderful lady name Elizabeth and her husband, Adam, who own and have created a wonderful community at CrossFit Southeast, in Rowville Victoria. We connected, I did a talk to her members and then not too long afterwards she told me that she had entered a team in the Spartan event in March 2019, and, asked if I would like to join the team. Now, Elizabeth is very persuasive, and before I had the chance to wriggle my way out of it, somehow, I had said yes and was booked in to compete with the team in this Spartan event. I had no idea was it was, what was involved, whether I could do it or whether I even wanted to do it!
I started doing some training at the CrossFit box, and, it hurt! And, as happens, time quickly passed, and this Spartan event approached faster than I expected or was prepared for. I still didn’t know what to expect, but Elizabeth kept telling me it would be okay because we were a team. That somehow didn’t comfort me that much. As a professional footballer, I knew that, even though it was a team effort, there would be pain and suffering involved! Anyway, I did know, that whatever would be thrown at me, I would somehow get through.
The day came along, it was last Saturday, and we were due to start our wave at 12 noon. At 10am that morning it was already 35°C (95°F), and, heading towards 40°C (104°F). As I was driving to the event, about an hour out of Melbourne, I could see the smoke from a serious a bushfire happening in the general direction I was heading. This is not a great sign! As I arrived, it was hot, it was windy, it as dusty and it was dry. I couldn’t believe how many people were there, thousands, of all different ages, stages, shapes and sizes. I started feeling a little better, but still I was quietly pooping my pants! I located Elizabeth and Adam, and then met up with the team. Some I had met before, others not. Right from the beginning, we all had one thing in common; we were all about to do something that was going to hurt and something that for many of us was an unknown. So, straight away, there was a connection between us all.
Together Everyone Achieves More!
We had to jump over a high gate just to get into the starting area, and, I nearly tore my hamstring before we even began!! Keep in mind, I am 50 plus GST this year! Then the gun was fired and off we went. The aim was to stay together as a team, but this was initially a little hard for me because I have an ego and my tendency is to sprint off out in front to show my prowess, but, I resisted this and stuck with the rest of the crew. I really wasn’t sure what to expect and so every turn and each obstacle was an adventure.
Over the course of the next two hours we faced twenty obstacles which required us to climb walls, climb ropes, lift weights, carry heavy sandbags, walk through swamps, crawl through the mud under barbed wire, swing across monkey bars, toss spears at a target and many other challenges that left us all muddied, blistered, grazed and sore. We all got through because we worked together as a team. The old cliched acronym for T.E.A.M is Together Everyone Achieves More, and, as schmaltzy as it sounds, it is so true! We made it because we were a team. If we had all taken off and run our own race, there is a chance that not everyone would have made it back across the finish line.
We were there to help each other get over walls. We were there to help each other lift crazy heavy sandbags to the top of a 10-metre pulley. We were there to support the ones who couldn’t get across the monkey bars without help. We were there to do extra where others couldn’t do an activity, like climb the rope. We were there to run with people who felt like stopping. We were all there to give the word of encouragement and support just when someone needed it most. There were plenty of times when I needed that word of encouragement, a high-five or a pat on the back. Wow, the power of a tribe!
The most horrible part of the process was the 30 burpees that each person had to do if they didn’t successfully complete any of the obstacles. This is where we all needed help. 30 burpees done alone is tough, but, 30 burpees split between several people is a piece of cake. Then, at the second last obstacle we each had to throw a spear and stick it in a target. There was only one attempt and each miss cost 30 burpees. I went first, and with a loud, guttural and native roar, I launched the spear and scored one for the team. Yes, I was proud of myself. Then, I watched with horror as every one of the remaining ten people in the team missed the target. I counted, with trepidation and fear as the burpees racked up to 300! Then together as a team, we got them done. Finally, we climbed that last rope net obstacle, over the top and down the other side and together we ran across the finish line. We were victorious and together as a team. It was a great feeling and there was an instant bond between all of us.
As I look back at the things I have achieved in my life, it has been not because of me, but because of my tribe. My team mates at St Kilda FC shared the journey with me, my partners in my personal training business inspired me, my publishers for my books supported me, and, my Spartan tribe encouraged me. There is so much power in a tribe, so, this week I want to encourage you, no matter what you are aspiring to achieve, find a partner, a coach or a tribe of people to connect in with. The help, the support and the encouragement will lift you to any heights you want to reach. Just know, as you move forward in your life this week that, whilst the spark may come from you, the power is with your tribe.
There are many quotes, definitions and descriptions for the word faith, but two are my favorites. The first comes from the bible, and is in Hebrews chapter 11, verse 1 and states; faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. The second is a quote by author Phillip Yancy and says; faith means trusting in advance that which only makes sense in reverse. Either way, the power of faith is knowing that, if we keep taking the right actions, the things that are not seen, or seem to be not working, will be seen.
This message was very powerfully delivered at church last Sunday by my pastor, Seka. To really reinforce the message and make it seem more tangible, she talked about the formation of clouds. She was actually referring to a particular story in the Bible about someone, and I can’t remember specifics, who had been praying for rain. God had promised rain, yet for many days there were no clouds in sight. This person was not seeing the clouds form and so was assuming God had not answered his prayer. This is where Seka talked about some research she did into the formation of clouds. She had googled the Bureau of Meteorology and found the following description for the formation of clouds:
Clouds form when the invisible water vapour in the air condenses into visible water droplets or ice crystals. There is water around us all the time in the form of tiny gas particles, also known as water vapour. There are also tiny particles floating around in the air – such as salt and dust – these are called aerosols.
In other words, the water is there, even if we don’t see it. The invisible gas particles are floating around until they condense and turn into visible water particles, hence clouds. In other other words, what is unseen will be seen! So, what does cloud formation have to do with you and myself? Well, let me tell you, Seka was very excited about her meteorological discovery and how it gave some actual science and tangibility to this idea of faith. But let’s see how it works in real life.
The following is a true story I recently heard on an audio. It’s about a young guy who was out of work and desperately trying to find a job. He was not really qualified, had no tangible skills and so, as you can imagine, was not even getting to the interview stage for many jobs. After having many frustrating conversations, he randomly approached the owner of a manufacturing company and asked for a job. The owner listened while the young man stated his case and then said, ‘Sorry son, we just can’t afford to put anyone on at this stage.’ The young man then said, ‘No problems, I understand.’ Just as he was walking away, he stopped, turned around and said to the owner, ‘I’ll see you tomorrow morning at 8am.’
Have faith and keep showing up
The owner looked at the young man, stunned, wondering if he was a little slow, then said, ‘What do you mean you’ll see me at 8am? I just said we didn’t have a job for you.’ The young man then replied, ‘No, what you said was, you couldn’t pay me.’ The owner, still baffled, said, ‘So, are you telling me that you will turn up at 8am tomorrow and work for no money?’ To this the young man replied, ‘My father always said, it’s better to be working than not, so yes, I would like to work anyway.’ The owner, head still spinning, said, ‘Okay, see you at 8am tomorrow.’
True to his word, the young man turned up at 8am. He knew no-one at the factory, had no direction from the owner, so he just started sweeping the floor and generally tidying the place. After a few hours, some of the other employees noticed him and asked him to help them with some of their jobs. He did, with gratitude. After the first day was over, he said goodbye and headed home. The owner didn’t expect him to show up again, but at 8am the next day, there he was. By the end of the week, he was known and liked by the whole team, and, he was fitting in doing a great job.
The owner later admitted he didn’t expect the young man to arrive at work again for the second week, but, guess what? At 8am on that Monday morning, there he was, ready to go. This went on for three weeks, until the boss, seeing what a great job he was doing, started feeling guilty and paid him for that week. He then offered him a full-time paid position with the company. The young man made himself indispensable to the owner, and, had faith, that if he kept showing up and kept doing a great job, the unseen money would become seen. And, it did!
What a wonderful story about the power of faith. It’s hard to master, but is the one belief that will attract and deliver the most abundance to you. To just know, without doubt, fear or worry, that the unseen will become seen is powerful and illusive, but, has already materialised many times in your life to this point. As a baby, you couldn’t walk, but you had faith that with persistence you would, and, you did. This is just one of many examples of the unseen faith you have had. You just now need to re-engage this powerful belief.
I am enjoying a great deal of flow and success in my life at the moment. I truly feel as I am absolutely on purpose, and consequently, book sales are happening, speaking bookings are coming through, I’m being flown to the USA to launch my new book and everything I have been hoping and praying for is crystallizing into those visible water droplets. It’s taken many years to get here, and the main reason is because I finally let go of doubt, fear and worry, and I now have faith that the unseen will be seen. You can do the same! Start that wellness regime, follow through and just have faith that you will get the results. Keep making those phone calls and just know that the unseen sale will be seen. Keep sending off submissions and applications and believe in your heart that the answer you want will appear. Keep giving love unconditionally, even when it’s not being reciprocated, and have faith that it will come back to you in abundance.
I have very quickly developed a strong Christian faith, and have seen powerful evidence of this trust in my life. But, you don’t need to be a Christian to believe that the unseen will be seen, you just need faith and confidence. You see, depending on your thoughts and actions, you send out a strong message to the world that states your intention. At that point, you can stop worrying, keep believing, keep acting and know, without any shadow of a doubt, that what is not currently seen will be seen in no time at all.
