Have you ever heard it said, in one form or another, that; at any point in life, we are either down, falling down or getting up after falling down? I don’t know if that sounds like it’s a little overly negative or not, but as I look at my life and where I am now, I can see a lot of truth in that statement. It’s not negative, it’s the truth. It shouldn’t discourage you, it should instead absolutely encourage you. A great mentor of mine puts it another way, after hearing it herself at a seminar. She now lives by the principle that, the pendulum swings.
So, what does that mean? It means that if you are down, it won’t be long – with the right attitude and actions – until you are up again. If you look at the motion of a pendulum, you will know that it starts high and swings to the lowest point possible and then it begins to rise again to the top, before it heads back down. If we subscribe to the principle of the pendulum, we will know that, as I suggested at the start of this blog; at any point in life we are either down, falling down, or getting up after falling down. It seems to be how life works, have you experienced it? I want you to know this week, that, whilst this may be a common and predictable pattern of life for us all, we can shorten the time at the bottom of the swing and lengthen the time at the top by our thoughts, emotions, attitudes and actions.
Firstly, to anyone reading this who is feeling discouraged, flat and unhappy about where you are currently at in life, be encouraged knowing that the pendulum is swinging, and, you will be back on top soon, if you believe it and focus on it. I truly believe we are meant to be happy, healthy, wealthy and purpose-driven people. I know you and I have been put on this planet for a reason, to make a positive impact. Our lives are meant to be joy-filled and bring joy to others. I also believe that we can easily get complacent at times when things are going well, which can start the downward swing sending us back to the bottom of the curve.
I worked hard for many years to get myself to the top of my professional football career. From the age of 16, starting at the bottom of the pile as a fresh-faced kid with aspirations of being a star, to the age of 21, when I finally cracked the senior team to stay, I had to work, climb and trust that the pendulum would swing up to the top. I struggled in the under 19 team and improved over the first couple of years. I was knocked unconscious and carried off on a stretcher in my first senior level reserve grade game. I worked gut-bustingly hard to make it to the top and play my first senior A-grade game, and, then tumbled back down as I then missed out on selection, despite playing well every week, for the next 20 months. When I finally worked back up and played that second senior A-grade game I was strong, prepared and ready to make my mark, which I did for 2 years, but just as the pendulum was at the top of its swing, I got complacent and it started swinging down again.
Master the fast turnaround
In that period of complacency, I naively and ignorantly thought I had made it to stay. I stopped training with the same intensity, I started getting distracted and tempted and my performances started to decline. Over the next two years the pendulum hit rock bottom. On this particular bottom of the swing moment, it was a Saturday morning in October 1987. I had just played in a reserve grade grand final two weeks earlier, and I read something in the newspaper that morning shattering my world. I saw my name in the paper. Normally seeing your name in the newspaper would be an exciting thing, unless it is amongst a group of players sacked from the club!
I knew my football career was going to come to end at some time, and, I knew the pendulum would eventually swing through the bottom point. I just didn’t expect it or want it to occur when it did. But it happened predictably, at that time, because of my thoughts, attitudes and actions. I was a mess. I was shattered. I was only 24 years old and had planned a long and successful professional football career, for at least another ten years. What would I do now? I stayed far too long in the pits, because I didn’t understand, at that time of my life, that the pendulum always swings, and I would eventually be out of the pits and be back on top again. Again, my thinking, attitudes and actions kept me at the bottom for far too long.
It was a long time before I was able to pick myself up, turn myself around and use this time of my life as a positive foundation for greater things. Looking back, two things are glaringly obvious. The first; in the context of my life today, that event was the best thing that could have happened. If I had stayed in football, would I have gone on the become an author and do the things I am able to today? I doubt it. So, it really was a good thing, not the earth-shattering event I perceived it to be at the time. Secondly, I took far too long to pick myself up, get my attitude right, find the positive and get the pendulum swinging up more quickly. I needed to master the fast turnaround. Let me tell you, these days I have mastered it and my pendulum is swinging up, and, staying there far more and far longer than it is at the bottom of the motion.
Where are you in your pendulum cycle at the moment? Are you flying high and living the life you dream of? I hope you are, and I hope you continue to do so. It is my strongest encouragement that you keep focusing on the great work you are doing and keep your attitude and thinking in line with success. That way, when you experience the downward swing of the pendulum, you will be able to master the fast turnaround and be back on top as fast as is possible. Are you struggling, feeling down-and-out or in the pits at the moment? As my wonderful mentor says to me, it’s okay because the pendulum swings and you will on top again soon. The secret is to learn the lessons and find the good, while you are down there, then, take positive action and, in no time at all, you will off the bottom and swinging back up to the top.
In each of my blogs I want you to know three things. Firstly, I want you to know, very clearly, that I am not perfect, I muck up at times, and I am always learning. Secondly, I don’t portray life to be all roses and cream and give you the impression that you won’t experience challenges. Thirdly, and most importantly, I want you to know that, no matter what circumstances come your way, you are good enough, strong enough, capable enough and resilient enough to handle it, and, turn the most devastating adversity into the most wonderous joy and success. All you need to know, is that the pendulum swings.
It’s interesting what many people perceive as dumb, stupid or weird. I think anyone doing things differently to the majority can easily be seen in that light. Different scares many people. Different seems wrong to the mainstream. Different makes people look like they are not quite with it. The fact is that different often represents genius, achievement and innovation. It is my goal in life is to live differently, be different and achieve different, so I am okay with being seen as dumb, stupid or weird. I hope you feel the same and won’t get offended, but will be complimented when you are called dumb.
Back in the 1950’s two teenage boys, Jon and Tom, were sitting together in an ice-cream shop having a milkshake and donut, when a younger teen, named Billy, walked in. Jon said to his friend Tom, ‘See that kid who just walked? He is the dumbest kid in town.’ His friend asked why. ‘I’ll show you, watch this.’ He called Billy over and said, ‘Hey kid, I have a gift for you. I’ll give you either this one dollar note, or these two new shiny twenty-five cent pieces.’ Billy looked at the choices, looked at Jon and said, ‘I’ll take the two shiny ones. Thanks.’ He took the coins and went off about his business. ‘See what I mean?’ Said Jon, ‘The dumbest kid in town!’
The next day, Tom was out on his bike, when he saw the same boy who took the fifty cents instead of the dollar. He went over to him and said, ‘Hey Billy, I saw you yesterday. You know that the one dollar is worth twice as much as the fifty cents, right?’ Billy then said to Tom, ‘Of course I do, I’m not stupid. Jon does that to me at least twice every week, if I take the dollar, he’ll stop doing it!’
So, the question is, who really is the dumbest and who is the smartest? I think in this humorous example, we can work it out. Jon was adamant, based on his perspective, that Billy was the dumbest, but I believe Billy, and you, know that to be untrue. It’s so easy to look at what people are doing and make a judgement call based on what we see, what we know, what we’ve experienced and what we perceive. My first point, in this blog, is to encourage you to look beyond the surface before jumping to conclusions about the sanity and intelligence of the people around you.
If you read my blogs regularly, then I’m confident you are already on top of that first point. It’s this next point I’m most passionate about. My strongest message and encouragement for you is about protecting yourself from the people who refuse to look beyond the surface and are often jumping to conclusions about your sanity and intelligence. We must be so very careful not to be sucked into what mainstream society sees as normal and intelligent, and, how some people make you feel if you dare to step out of the mould and work to create a different life. If you are doing things that are legal and moral, but may be perceived as strange, weird, dumb or stupid by many people, you are right on track… keep doing them!
What is dumb anyway?
I was told, by more than one person, I was stupid for thinking I could be a professional footballer, and, I totally understand their perception. At the time I made the declaration I was a skinny, sickly, sooky teenager, and, not that talented. However, those people who called me stupid didn’t know was what was inside me, nor what I was prepared to do to back up my declaration. I was called crazy by many people after I stated my intention of becoming a published author. Again, I understand where they were coming from, as at the time the statement was made, I was working over 120 hours per week in two businesses, and, I had no writing skills or qualifications. Those people saw crazy, but they were looking through their filter, not mine. I saw something completely different. I knew what I wanted, and I knew what I was willing to do to make it happen.
So, you see dumb, stupid, crazy and weird are just perceptions of the person looking through a frame of reference they have been conditioned with over their lifetime. It really has nothing to do with you or what is possible for you. You are not normal, and that is a massive compliment. Normal people don’t read these type of blogs. Normal people don’t do things that go against the flow of mainstream society. Normal people don’t strive, work, struggle, persist and aspire to great things. Normal people don’t do much at all, and what they actually do, they complain about. Normal people will try to make you feel dumb, stupid, crazy and weird in an attempt to stop you aspiring for more. Why? Because cutting you down is easier than lifting themselves up to a higher level of living. I hope I am making sense.
Be inspired by, not discouraged when someone calls you dumb, stupid, crazy or weird. It means you are stepping out of the pack and swimming against the stream. When you get called crazy for wanting to run a marathon or reach an exceptional level of fitness, commit yourself to do it anyway. When someone calls you dumb because of decisions you make and actions you take to increase your financial position outside of your career, then push harder to become successful. When you get called weird for having an aspiration to become a successful author, entertainer, business person, politician, artist or academic, work harder than normal to be successful. When you are labelled stupid for chasing something that most people can’t see, then run faster, chase harder and get it done.
Steve Jobs was called crazy. JK Rowling was labelled not good enough. Elvis Presley was told he had no talent. Walt Disney was told he lacked imagination. Oprah Winfrey was told she was too emotional. Jerry Seinfield was sacked from an acting role because he wasn’t good enough. Thomas Edison was labelled stupid. Albert Einstein was told he was too slow a learner. Charles Darwin was labelled lazy. Marilyn Monroe was told she should become a secretary. I could go on and on and on. What matters is not what you are labelled by others, but what you label yourself.
We live in a world of people. In fact we are heading toward a global population of eight billion people. Everywhere you look there are people, and, whether you like it or not, those people have an opinion based on their life experiences. Some of those people are going to share their opinion with you whether you want them to or not. Some of those opinions are going to conflict with what you believe, what you desire and what you want to hear. Be ready for it, and know that when someone labels you dumb, stupid, crazy or weird, it’s actually a great compliment. It means you are striving for an exceptional life. Make your goal to be perceived as the dumbest person in town!
I wish I could give you better news. I wish I could tell you that success was easy. I wish I could tell you just one call, one submission, one request, one presentation, one audition, one practice or one effort is all that’s required to experience abundant and exponential success. I think you knew it already, but it’s not. You already knew it, didn’t you? If we know this, why do we give up on things so readily? Why do we stop trying and judge our results too early? Why don’t we commit to a strategy until we are successful, even if it takes longer that we want?
I have a beautiful little dog, named Joia. She doesn’t understand or accept the word no. It was 2am the other night and Laura and I were doing what we generally do at that time, sleeping! Joia wanted to go outside to wee and explore. When she wants to get our attention, she snorts. So, she started snorting, we both ignored it. She kept snorting and we kept ignoring, hoping she would give up and go back to sleep. No chance. After she realised the snorting wasn’t working, she started squeaking. She squeaked, we lay there hoping it would all just stop, but we didn’t count on the persistence of this little dog. After a while the squeaks turn to barks and it was then we realised she was not going to let up any time soon, until we got up for her that is. Laura got up, it was her turn, and she let the dog out to go and explore for a while. Soon Joia was happy, and we all went to sleep. She was getting lots of rejection, it took longer than she wanted, but she persisted with her strategy, and, it finally paid off.
Last year, and this year already, I have the wonderful experience of talking in many schools to teenagers about self-belief, success, and resilience. I enjoy it immensely and I know the students, and schools, get a lot out of it. Now, at the start of 2019, I speak in at least one or two schools per week. Just over 12-months earlier, I had never spoken in a school before, except as a student and, for a very brief time, a teacher. So how did it come about? I can tell you, it wasn’t luck, contacts, because I played football for St Kilda or because I am an author, as many people seem to think. It’s because I developed a strategy and stuck to it, no matter how long it took.
After the release of my book, Kicking On, the publishers, for some reason, got me a speaking gig at a primary school. I really don’t know why, because the language and content of the book is not directed at that level. I did it anyway, I had fun, I sold no books and I left. As I was driving home, I had an idea. I thought about schools, and whilst primary age children were not the target for the book, secondary age teenagers absolutely were. So, I made a decision that day that I would develop a strategy to start speaking to teenagers in secondary schools.
Don’t judge the results too early.
I got home, I sat down, I switched my strategy-creating brain on, and I came up with a plan. This is the sophisticated plan I came up with;
Create a list of schools.
Ring five schools each day to find out who the appropriate person to speak to is.
Get an email address and then send an introductory email.
Follow up with a phone call to arrange a meeting, drop off a book and discuss coming into the school to speak.
Repeat steps one to four.
Pretty simple strategy, right? Not too complicated, not too sophisticated and I knew it would predictably give me the results I wanted, as long as I stuck to one simple principle. That principle was not, I’ll try it for a week and see how I go. That principle was not, I’ll make the calls if I feel like it. That principle was not, I’ll do it If I can find the time. That principle was not even, I’ll give it three months and see if I get results. That principle was one that most people will not subscribe to, that is to work the strategy until the strategy works, no matter how I feel or how long it takes.
I can tell you, I sent a lot of emails and left a lot of messages that went unanswered. I can also tell you, I heard the word no, many more times that I would have liked. I can tell you, I was told, ‘leave it with me and I’ll get back to you if we have a need,’ repeatedly. What I can also tell you, and what I’m most proud of, is that my success came not through luck, contacts, my scripts or my background. It came as a result of sticking to the strategy long enough for it to bear fruit. I just kept going when I had no results, when I doubted myself and when I felt like giving up.
Then, like magic, after a period of time, which felt like years, people started getting back to me, meetings started getting arranged and I started to get bookings. When that started happening, did I stop sending emails and making calls? No way, I started working harder and doing more. That is my magical secret of success. I developed a strategy and I stuck to it, and continue to stick to it today as I write this. I do the same five calls every single day of the school year. The weekly bookings I get, and the people who now call me to book me into their school, has nothing to do with luck, but everything to do with working the strategy with persistence.
So, we are now at the part of the blog when I ask, what about you? What are you working towards? What are you trying to achieve? What is the strategy you have created for yourself or has been suggested to you? Are you still working the strategy or have you given up because you have incorrectly assumed it doesn’t work? Is that wellness plan taking longer than you want, and so you’re already looking for something else? Are the calls you are making uncomfortable and not returning the results you want? Just what else isn’t happening fast enough that you are ready to throw in, or already have thrown in the towel. The biggest mistake people make is judging results too early.
You see, every call you make, step you take, word you write, email you send, sip of water you take, audio you listen to and every page of a book you read is planting a seed that will grow, on the condition that you continue to do it every day, no matter how you feel. You are right on track, even if you don’t feel like it, or, if the track seems to be leading nowhere. All paths lead somewhere as long as you keep going. Does a strategy sometimes need to be modified? Of course it does, but make no mistake about it, once you have the right strategy, it will work as long as you work it.
I was sitting at my computer thinking about what I want to write about this week, when I was notified about emails in my inbox. I looked, they were all junk, so I moved them into the junk folder. I then went to my junk folder to see it was full of lots of rubbish, so with one simple hit of a button, I deleted 100’s of junk mail. It felt great to have an empty junk folder. Like magic, this week’s blog topic came to me. How many of us are carrying around junk, when it’s so simple to hit the delete button?
I am a classic computer hoarder. I have stuff on my computer that’s well over ten years old, stuff I know I’ll never look at or use again. Often times, I wonder why my computer runs slow, takes a while to process things, occasionally freezes and sometimes shuts down. Well, my wonderful father-in-law, Paul, is my computer savior. He continually tells me it’s time to tidy things up, clear the junk and allow the computer to do what it can do so wonderfully well. Did you know that you and I are much like a computer? When our minds and hearts are full of outdated information, doubts, fears. Limiting beliefs and other junk, how do you think you are going to perform? Well, like my computer; slowly, inconsistently, occasionally freezing, and sometimes, or even permanently, shutting down!
Your computer, over time, picks up information, files, documents, bugs and viruses that will compromise and even debilitate its function. The same happens in life, and over time, we pick up information, opinions, criticisms, judgement, incorrect advice, bugs and viruses that, if left unchecked to pile up, will totally debilitate us, our day to day activities and our lives. Just as the performance of your computer is predictable based on the programs and junk, so to your performance and outcomes in life are predictable, based on what you keep stored in your head and heart. Is it time to start deleting?
I attended a funeral during the week, and, walked away absolutely inspired by a man who knew how to delete the junk. Denis was the father of a good friend of mine who passed away at the age of 84. What is unique about this extraordinary man is that he had a massive, life-altering heart attack more than 33 years earlier that, according to doctors, should have killed him. I remember the day very clearly, back in October 1985. I was a third year Phys Ed. Student and at the time I was holidaying on the Gold Coast with his son, Stuart, and a couple of other friends from college. We were 21, cheeky and having lots of fun! Stuart got the call from his mother, and, we took him straight to the airport to head home and be with his 51-year-old father, maybe, he feared, for the last time.
Doctors told the family, it was so serious a heart-attack, they should prepare themselves for the worst and that he probably wouldn’t make it through the night. They were told they should get a priest to come and do last rites. Well, Denis did make it through the night, and even though doctors told him he may not have long to live and that his life would be very different, Denis decided to delete that negative rubbish from his mind and replace it with empowering thoughts of life, love and healing. From that time, he had more heart attacks and even a heart transplant in 1999. Yet every time he had a health issue, and was told the bad news, he would delete the junk and focus on what he wanted, and the things that were important to him; his wife, children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.
Delete and then replace.
Denis lived more than 33 years beyond many people’s educated expectations, and was around to love and inspire his family, simply because he chose to delete the junk and replace it with treasure. As I sat in that funeral, I listened to Denis’ two sons speak with love, respect and admiration for their father. I then listened to two of his granddaughters talk about him and the positive impact he had on their lives. Then, his four-year-old great grandson got helped onto a chair, stood in front of the microphone and said, ‘I love you papa. I miss you.’ Needless to say, I was, as were most of the people in the room, in tears. The lesson that Denis had instilled in his family, through his actions and attitudes, not, words, was to delete the negative and focus on the positive. I walked away from that funeral uplifted and inspired, and, grateful to have known Denis.
I hope you are inspired as much as me. I hope you are ready to start deleting the junk and then replacing it with gold. Have you been told at any stage of your life that you’re; no good, not intelligent enough, not talented enough, and, not the right person? If so, it’s junk, so, delete it. Yes, I said delete it. You can choose what you hold onto, what you delete and what you think. Delete it, and then replace it with; I am good enough, smart enough, talented enough and the right person for any success. Do you have health issues that you’re told you’ll never overcome, or you believe are too hard to change? If so, that should be sitting in your junk folder, so go now and hit delete. Replace it with the belief and thoughts that; you are in control of your health, you will do what you need to do, and that optimal health is your birthright.
Do you have low self-esteem, resentment towards someone for something they said or did, fear of rejection, doubts about your worthiness, stress, anxiety or any other limited thought, feeling or belief? Well, you need to know that it’s all junk and, if you hoard it on your human hard-drive, it will slow down and disable your human computer. Honestly, the solution is as simple as; deciding it is rubbish, hitting delete and starting to replace those negative thoughts, feelings and beliefs with ones that will empower and uplift you. It’s your choice, so please, for your own sake, choose to delete and replace.
This week’s blog is bittersweet. It was sad to attend a funeral and say goodbye to a very special man, but, it was a blessing to have known him, and to be inspired and touched by the life he lived, and, the people he influenced. As we head into the second month of 2019, it’s important that we don’t take our junk or baggage with us. How do you feel about deleting all the junk thinking and beliefs? When you delete, you create space on your hard-drive. With more space, you will think more clearly, and, you have more room to replace it with stuff that will empower and bless your life. Start deleting today!
