I am so not a gardener. I am not inspired by gardening, I don’t dream about gardening and I really don’t even enjoy gardening. I do, however, love looking at beautiful gardens, I love walking through gardens and I love sitting in our backyard, that Laura has so wonderfully tended to, and enjoying the sounds, the smells, the calmness and the serenity. I just don’t want to be the person who does the backbreaking work to get it to that condition.
You see, to me it is backbreaking work, because that is my only experience with gardening. Anytime I have gone to work in a garden is because of necessity, not choice. It’s because I have let the garden get so overgrown with plants, weeds and rubbish, over such a long period of time through indifference, that it is no longer a simple and enjoyable pastime, instead it’s a horrendously tedious and painful chore. I do it only when I have to, but most of the time I avoid it like the plague. Laura, on the other hand, loves spending time in the garden and turning it into a place of beauty and serenity. For that I am very grateful.
Laura has a simple secret for her success as a gardener, and why she is able to enjoy it on a regular basis. It’s because, unlike me and many people I suspect, she pulls the weeds out as she goes. On a regular basis, maybe not daily but certainly weekly, she is scanning the garden and pulling out the weeds as she sees them, before they become monsters. Me, on the other hand won’t even notice weeds until one day, when the house is almost grown over with weeds, branches and bushes of every variety, I will say, ‘I think that needs some attention.’
Have you ever tried weeding and cleaning a garden that is overgrown and has turned into a jungle? Thankfully, it’s not something I have to do too often, but when I have, it’s been torture. For hours you pull weeds, get cut by grass and stabbed by thorns and then, when you stand up to look at the great work you have just done, there is hardly a scratch on the surface of the wilderness that is the backyard, yet, your hands are covered with cuts, scratched and grazes. When it comes to stuff I love, I will devote hours, days and even years to its pursuit. When it comes to chopping my way through a wayward, weed infested garden, I have no tolerance or staying power. I leave it for a few more months for the weeds I have pulled to grow back and even more to join them.
So clearly, the secret to a beautiful garden is not to leave it to a once a year backbreaking chore, but, turn it into a daily weeding and tidying process. It’s much easier to deal with the weeds that grow in one day, than it is to fight with the monster that has developed over an entire year. The bonus for you, this week, is that I’m giving you tips about how to look after your garden. Although, as I’m sure you’ve guessed, this blog is not about the garden outside, but the one between your ears.
Eliminate negative thoughts one day at a time…
The most fertile place in the world lies in the 6 inches between your ears. This lush garden bed has the potential of growing thoughts into any reality possible and helping you create the most amazing life you can dream of. It is also very vulnerable to the weeds of negative thoughts and beliefs which can easily grow into a forest of failure and frustration. The key is to be able to do the weeding, one day at a time, so that the negative thoughts don’t grow out of control and take a hold of your life. Now, if they have taken a hold and you feel like you are stuck or going backwards in life, then now is the perfect time to start the weeding process, Are you with me?
It’s almost a new year, and it’s another fresh start for you, if you choose to make it one. You can make 2019 anything you want, as long as you clean out the overgrown jungle of weeds that may have over-taken your mind. Step number one, whether you like it or not, is to spend some time clearing the junk and preparing your heart and mind for success. To do this, I want to help by offering you a NY’s gift. If you click here you will find a 60-minute video and some downloadable sheets to help you plan success and clear your mind for 2019. I would encourage you to set aside 90-minutes in the next couple of days to get the weeding over and done with, and, the plan in place.
The next step is pretty simple, just commit to taking the simple daily actions, you have decided upon, every single day, whether you feel like it, want to or not. This can be challenging, but it is very simple. The only reason why you may not stick to the course of action you have set yourself is because you have allowed the negative weeds start to grow back in your mind. So, I want to help you create a daily weeding strategy to ensure that your mind stays fertile, and the proper thoughts and actions grown into amazing success for you in 2019. How does that sound?
If you were focussed on your garden each day, every time you saw a weed you would say, ‘That weed doesn’t belong here’ and you would simply pull it out, right? The same thing can be done with your thoughts, if you are focussed on them every single day. Let’s say your goal for 2019, is to create better well-being for yourself. You have set a goal and decide upon some daily actions you need to turn into habits. As you are about to get up for your walk or run, if a thought comes into your head like, ‘I’m tired, I think I’ll give it a miss today.’ You can identify it as a weed and say, ‘That thought doesn’t belong here.’ Then you can simply replace it with, ‘I can’t wait to go for my walk/run because I know how great I will feel when it’s done.’
If later in the day, you are tempted by a muffin and think, ‘One muffin won’t kill me, and I don’t want to offend anyone.’ You will recognise it as a weed and say, ‘That thought doesn’t belong here.’ Then you can simply replace it with, ‘I would much rather have some fruit, because it will help me achieve my goals.’ Do you get the idea? When you do this on a daily basis, you will easily keep your garden clear of weeds and your mind fertile, positive and productive. This same strategy can and should be applied to every aspiration you have in any area of your life.
You truly are destined for great things, just as your garden is destined to be full of beautiful native plants and flowers. The only things that will stop you achieving your goals for 2019 and beyond are the weeds that you allow to grow in your mind. If they go unchecked, and they overgrow you will find yourself, this time next year, wondering why nothing changed. If you choose to do the weeding every single day, then your mind will stay clear, focussed, positive and will lead you to your best year so far and a future where anything is possible, and everything is probable. Keep the weeds clear each and every day.
I have to admit it… it’s been a tough week or so. I have had dogs as a child, but I have never been as emotionally invested as I was with our beautiful Mr Big. I honestly had no idea how hard it would be making the decision to end his life, even though it was the best thing for him, and then to deal with the grief that comes with losing someone close. The last 10 days since he passed has been littered with tears, with regrets, with heartbreak and with unsettling thoughts as to whether, if we’d done things differently, maybe he would still be with us. What I do know, amongst all the pain, the heartache and the tears, is that the overwhelming feelings, both Laura and I have, are love and joy. An intense love for this little dog and joy that he was with us for 16 years.
I feel so grateful for all our many friends who have sent their love and condolences to us through, phone calls, emails and messages. If that includes you, thank you, it means more than you can possibly imagine. I was actually talking to one of these people during the week and we were discussing our pets and that inevitable time, for all of them, when they will go to pet heaven. We talked about how connected we get to our pet, how much a part of the family they become and how hard it is when they’re gone. I was saying, it’s so hard, because you only get 15-20 years with them, enough to fall deeply in love, and then they’re gone.
I then said something that came out of my mouth because of how I was feeling. I was suffering, my heart was aching, and I said, ‘It makes me stop and wonder if it’s even worth having a pet knowing that, more than once depending on how many I have, I will have to experience this pain and heart-break.’ She then said to me, ‘I understand how you feel, but if you don’t get a pet then you will miss out on all the amazing love, joy and memories that come with being a doting pet owner.’ She went on to say, ‘Yes, they will pass away, and yes, there will be pain when it happens, but in any area of life you need to risk loss to experience intense joy.’
Do you know, logically I knew she was right, as I actually talk about this very same thing often in other areas. At that particular time, however, it was hard to see the forest for the trees. As I sit here writing this blog, just over a week after Mr Big has gone, I am still in incredible pain, but I would never give that up for not having had the time I was able to spend with him, be his adopted father and get to know this beautiful little man. I know the pain will lessen over time, and, what I also know is that the photos we have and the memories that are etched into our hearts will live on and be with us for the rest of our lives. So, my message to you in this week’s blog, through bittersweet tears, is don’t stop risking loss, failure and rejection, or, you’ll miss some of the greatest joys in life.
There is risk… do it anyway!
We are at a time of the year when we are reflecting on the year gone by and thinking about the new year coming… well, I know I am. As you think about your year, I want to encourage you to assess it, not by the things you achieved, but more by the things you risked, whether you achieved the result or not. To round out the conversation about Mr Big, I am grateful I loved him with all my heart, right to the very end. The fact that he is gone will never dampen my love, nor the joy I got from spending time with him. So, don’t beat yourself because of things you haven’t achieved this year, be proud of the fact that you had the courage, took the chance and risked failure, rejection or loss.
Mother Teresa said this;
People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centred. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.
To achieve anything great there is risk. To achieve great love, there is a risk it will not be returned. To achieve great business success, there is a risk you will fail. To become a great author, there is a risk you will be rejected by publishers and critics. To make the sporting team, there is a risk you will not be selected and, if you are, there’s a risk you may get injured. To achieve any dream, there is a risk of failure, judgement, rejection and/or loss.
The reason I can look back with pride and pleasure at playing seven years of professional football has nothing to do with talent, but everything to do with overcoming the risks associated with the achievement. In my first senior-level game of football I risked my health and safety and was knocked unconscious, carried off on a stretcher and taken to hospital. That event gave me the confidence to know I can get back up. After my first senior game, I then had to risk and endure twenty months of rejection and missing selection until I finally played my second game. It was during that time I became the person and player I needed to become to succeed. Without risking my health and my ego, I would never be able to tell you this story with gratitude and satisfaction.
There is so much to be done in our lives. People and animals to love, mountains to conquer, children to raise, lives to impact and dreams to achieve. None of the most significant and important things can ever be realised without a risk of some type. As you reflect on the year gone by and start planning the new year coming, remember… you need to risk loss to experience great joy.
It’s with a heavy heart I write this blog. Laura and I had to make the hardest decision of our lives this week. Our beautiful dog, Mr Big, had been unwell and declining rapidly since we returned from Italy. A visit to the vet and some blood tests showed serious kidney and liver issues. He had lost a lot of weight, was not eating or drinking and was in a lot of discomfort. It broke both of our hearts, but on the vet’s recommendation and with his best interests in mind, we chose to peacefully end his suffering. This blog is written, with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat, as a dedication to a little man who changed our lives, and one who made the most of every second of and every opportunity in his sixteen years on this planet. It’s my hope as you read this, you will stop procrastinating and get up to make the most of every opportunity that comes your way.
Laura got Mr Big, before we had met, and for much of our early marriage, he lived with Laura’s parents. I became his adopted father only about six years ago, and, very quickly fell in love with this lovable, quirky and cheeky little dog. I have written about him in earlier blogs and his obsession with food. He loved eating and he would do anything to get his next meal. He would never waste a second of his life, nor one opportunity to look for, find and get more food into his body.
Our other dog Joia, who suffered from the gastrointestinal disease Parvo as a puppy, was and still is consequently more cautious about eating. It takes her a while to sniff around and get in the mood to eat. Well, to Mr Big this meant nothing but opportunity. He would firstly gulp down his own food and then wait patiently for his chance to swoop. He would watch Joia sniff around her food and when she turned her back, he would check to make sure Laura and I weren’t watching. Then, within a split second, he would pounce and before we would see him or could do anything to stop him, he had polished off her plate of food as well.
I eat protein bars regularly and buy them by the box. Whenever I made the mistake of leaving the bag of unopened protein bar boxes in striking distance, Mr Big would make me pay the price for my carelessness. One day, I was sitting at the table doing some writing while Mr Big was pottering outside. All of a sudden, he started scratching on the class door to get in, with something in his mouth. What is that? I thought. Upon closer inspection, it was a protein bar. He had ripped into a box, stolen it, was outside looking for a place to hide it when he decided to bring it back inside to eat.
Rip into the box, if that’s what it takes!
Then one day, I got home from appointments to find torn cardboard all over the floor and Mr Big with a guilty, yet satisfied look on his face. Yes, he had chewed his way through a thick cardboard box to see what he could find. Well, as you can see from the first picture, he found plenty. A lot of the evidence is not there because it was residing happily in Mr Big’s stomach! He never ever, in all of his sixteen years, missed an opportunity to find and enjoy food. That is what I love about him and will miss about him the most. So, my question to you is this; what are you prepared to rip into today to take the opportunities that are there waiting for you?
Mr Big never waited for an opportunity to come knocking at the door, he always went out and made it happen. There is so much I have learned and can share from the life of this remarkable little dog. It’s a pretty simple message for you this week, and one that comes at a time when many people are reflecting on the year gone by, and the start of a new year. How has your 2018 been? Did you go out and make things happen, or, did you sit and wait for things to come to you? Are you happy with what you have achieved, or, are you a little disappointed because of what you didn’t do? Well, you can’t change the past, but you can control your future by what you choose to do today. It is with my strongest encouragement that you take a leaf out of the book of Mr Big and… sniff out, find and make the most of every single opportunity.
Firstly, forgive yourself now, and, learn from and let go of the past you are not happy with. It was Oprah Winfrey who said, ‘Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.’ Secondly, make a vow that you will not wait until the new year, you will not even wait till tomorrow, but, that you will find and make the most of every opportunity starting… right now. Is it a deal?
If you have let your health and well-being slide, it’s okay, you can’t change the past. You can, however, stop the slide now, and take the opportunity to do something, anything, today. Waiting till after Christmas and New Year is a recipe for ongoing disaster and frustration. Is there an important relationship you have neglected, and keep procrastinating to resolve the conflict? Can I suggest that the longer you leave it, the harder it will be, and so, rip into the box and make the call… now! Are you putting off expanding your business or furthering your career until the new year? Again, this is a big mistake. What can you do today? What can you make happen? Who could you call? Why not get something happening now that will set up 2019 for success?
How long do you want to wait for your book to be written and the amazing benefits to start? How long do you need to over-analyse before you act on opportunities to diversify your income and change your financial future? Do you think your dream will just come and knock on your door, or, maybe you should take any opportunity, right now, to start doing what you need to do to make it happen?
There’s no doubt about it, Laura and I are mourning the loss of our son, our friend and our beautiful boy, Mr Big. What we will love and remember about him the most is what I hope you will take from this blog and apply in your life, today… he made the most of every opportunity!
It was the wonderful Henry Ford, inventor of the Ford motor car, who said, ‘Whether you think you can, or think you can’t… you’re right.’ The more I deal with the voice in my own head and the more I talk to people wanting to get healthier, create additional sources of income, chase their dream or become a successfully published author, the more I find that the overwhelming evidence is pointing to the fact that most people believe they can’t, and so… they don’t. It’s an absolute tragedy, because the potential, capacity and ability of every person on the planet is far greater than what most people will ever believe or act upon. I’m still working on myself, for sure, and as I do, I want to again try to help you believe that you can do, have or become anything you want and are willing to work towards it. I know it’s hard, if you have a well-established self talk saying you can’t, but I hope this inspiring true story helps a little…
One day, as a small child, Thomas Edison came home from school with a letter he was to give to his mother from the school principal. Edison said, ‘Mom, my teacher gave me this letter and told me to bring it home for you. Only you are allowed to read it. What does it say?’ His mother opened the letter, read it to herself, and then after a short time, with eyes welling with tears, read it to her son. ‘Your son is a genius and this school is too small for him. It doesn’t have good enough resources and teachers to train him, so we recommend that he be home-schooled to get the education he needs and deserves.’ His mother, who was trained as a teacher did just that for several years until she fell ill and passed away.
Many years after Edison’s mother died, he became one of the greatest inventors of the century and is still one of the best the world has ever known. One day he was going through a closet and he came across the folded letter that his old principal wrote to his Mother that day. He opened it and the message, actually written on the letter, said, ‘Your son is mentally deficient. We cannot let him attend our school anymore. He is expelled.’ Edison became emotional reading it and then wrote in his diary: ‘Thomas A. Edison was a mentally deficient child whose mother turned him into the genius of the Century.’
A positive word of encouragement and a positive belief can help change anyone’s destiny. Thomas Edison believed what his mother told him, and the result was a man who changed the world. What would have happened if she had read to him what was actually written in that letter? My goodness there are very thin threads that separate astonishing success with abysmal failure. That fine thread is a thought, a word, an encouragement and a belief. Whatever you need to do to gain more belief in yourself, do it. Your incredible future depends on it.
Creating belief, one thought at a time!
Thomas Edison was blessed to have a mother who loved him, believed in him, protected him and encouraged him. Not everyone is quite so lucky. We are bombarded, from a young age, with the beliefs and attitudes of parents, teachers, friends and society, and, this influence starts to condition our thinking and put us on a certain path. From a young age, Thomas Edison was conditioned to believe he was a genius and that anything was possible. That is what turned out to be his truth, not what his ignorant principal had irresponsibly written in that letter. We are not all that fortunate, and, many of us have to fight against the overwhelming forces of lies before our truth can shine through. The only truth is what we believe, not what others say or what popular opinion suggests.
JK Rowling was told that she couldn’t write and to give up on the idea of getting Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone published. That was untrue. The truth was what she believed, that it would be a success, and, after 40 rejections from publishers, it was. Colonel Sanders was told his recipe for southern fried chicken would never sell. That was a lie. He believed in his recipe, he believed in himself, he believed it would sell, and, after 1009 rejections he proved that this was the truth. My amazing mother, Sue was told, after the secondary cancer was diagnosed in her liver, that she had only 2-3 years to live. That was a big fat lie. The truth lay, not in the doctor’s prediction, but in her belief and desire to live, which helped her survive and thrive for a further fifteen years.
I don’t care who you are or where you come from. I don’t care how old or how young you are. I don’t care what you were told as a child or teen. I don’t care what your current circumstances are. All I care about is that today, yes, this very day, you start to create a different truth by believing more in yourself and your capacity to do great things. If you are fortunate enough to have someone to support, encourage and believe in you, good for you. If not, stop using that as an excuse and start to encourage, support and believe in yourself. Everything great you will achieve starts inside your head with a simple thought.
Are you ready for better outcomes in your life? Say yes! Are you ready to take control of the direction you head and the things you achieve? Say yes! It’s not easy, but it is very simple. All you need to do is take responsibility and control of your words, one thought at a time. Could you think about what you really want in your life? Could you start telling yourself you can, rather than you can’t? Could you get up and do the things you know you should do but often avoid? Could you create a daily habit and continue until you have succeeded, no matter how long it takes? You can, the question is will you?
Remember, the only truth in your life is what you believe. So, now is the time to start believing in what you want, not what you don’t. You can write a little every day, can’t you? You can drag yourself out go for a walk each day, can’t you? You can make a few sales/business calls each day, can’t you? You can do anything and everything that will move you in the direction of your dreams, as long as you deliberately choose the thoughts that will get you there. Every day tell yourself you ‘can do it’ and you ‘will persist until it’s done.’ Every day capture any negative thought, throw it out and replace it with a positive one. Every day, do something small that will move you in the direction of success.
The more you think positive thoughts, the more you associate with uplifting and encouraging people and the more you take action, the more you will increase your belief that you can achieve anything you desire. Your belief will enable you to create the truth that is real for you. That truth is that you are amazing, and you have the capacity to create astronomical success in your life.
There is a massive misconception in the world and it’s having a devastating effect on the lives of many people, and, the things they are achieving. It is the result of a limiting mindset that has been perpetuated and reinforced over many generations, and, it’s holding people back from reaching the incredible potential that lies inside of them. I have to write this blog after a session I had with a group of year 7 students this week. I need you to understand this message, apply in your life and then spread it. Are you okay with that?
I was at a private school this week and talking to about 100 year seven students. It was the third session I had done with them this year, and they were coming to the time of the year for exams. This is the first experience of exams for these students and so it is less about the results and more about getting comfortable with the examination process. However, as this is an exclusive private school in Melbourne, and, parents pay more than $30,000 per year to send their students… they want to see results.
This is the start of the problem. Many parents erroneously see results only reflected in grades and scores, when for most students the most life-changing results will come through experiences, effort, trying new things, making mistakes and learning from them. They need to be encouraged to try and fail. Thirteen-year-old students don’t need the pressure and stress of performance anxiety placed on them for exams that hardly count towards the year’s results anyway. You either are, were or will be a teenager and therefore are, have or will probably experience this at some stage.
In the session I was trying to give them some ideas to reduce the stress and anxiety that comes in the lead up to exams. I asked them to raise their hand if they were anxious about the exams, and many put their hands up. I then thought it would be a good idea to write some of their concerns on the whiteboard to help give them some perspective. I wanted them to see what they could control, and what they couldn’t, then, just focus on what was in their control. So, I asked for people to share what their stress and anxiety was about.
The typical answers came through. They were worried about; not having enough time, not knowing what was on the exam and getting poor results. Then I asked one Asian boy what his concern was, and he said, ‘I’m worried that I won’t average a B+ in all my subjects. My parents said, if I don’t, they will send me back to China.’ I have to admit, I was speechless for a short time. I wasn’t sure if he was joking or serious, but it didn’t take too long to realise that he was absolutely serious. At that moment, I felt a little helpless. I could stand up and tell these teenagers that to worry about grades was a mistake, that it was more important to focus on behaviours, effort and improvement. However, my greatest challenge was, what was being said to them at home was going to have the greatest impact on their schooling, their attitudes and their lives.
Success is about the right attitudes and behaviours…
On Friday night, just gone, Laura and I attended a past players event at the St Kilda Football Club. I have resisted these events for many years, but finally decided to go to this one. I am so glad I did. It was wonderful to catch up with some great guys I played and associated with more than thirty years ago. At one stage, I was chatting to another former teammate, who, like me, was far from the most talented, yet enjoyed some success in his football career. We were talking about how some of the most talented players didn’t really kick-on to success, yet we were able to achieve more than we ever thought we could. I have to admit, even today, I pinch myself and wonder how I was able to play at the club for seven years. It is simple… we had to work harder than most if we were to survive. Many of the very talented ones believed that their ability was enough to carry them through, and so didn’t have the right attitude nor work ethic required to survive in professional sport.
I am living proof that ability, talent, intelligence and grades are not the most important when it comes to achievement in life. I didn’t play professional football because of my talent, far from it. I played because I focussed on the things I could control; desire, determination, hard work, persistence and improvement. It wasn’t that I wasn’t afraid of making mistakes, it’s just what I did, and in the process, I got better. We can all make mistakes, therefore we can all improve. Having a go, doing the best you can, making mistakes and failing is the most important part of success, as long as you learn from these experiences and strive to improve.
I am not a best-selling author, with seven published books to date, because I am a great writer, excelled at English in school, am an avid reader or a literary genius. I’m an author today because of; desire, focus, effort, daily habits, willingness to try, fail and learn from those failures. I only focussed on the things I could and can control, and, you can do that also. I hope I am making my point loud enough and clear enough.
If you are a parent, I want to urge you to focus less on the grades, natural abilities and intelligence (or lack of) of your children and encourage them to just do the best and be the best they can. The moment you can remove that performance pressure and anxiety from them, they will feel free to try, fail, learn and improve. This is the key to success in life. If you are a person who has been conditioned to believe that it is your ability, talent or intelligence that determines what you should do and what you can achieve, I want to ask you to challenge that thinking. It won’t be easy, but trust me, it will be worth it.
I hope my year 7 friend gets his B+ average. But more than that, I hope his parents will be proud of him and recognise him for his efforts, even if he doesn’t. I hope he is able to stay in Australia, because that is what he wants to do. I hope you are truly getting my message this week, because it is one that will totally transform your enjoyment of life and the things you will achieve from it.
Bill Gates, Richard Branson and Steve Jobs don’t have a tertiary education, yet look what they achieved. J.K Rowling was rejected by 40 publishers and told she couldn’t write, yet she believed, persisted and changed the world. Elvis Presley was told he couldn’t sing, Marilyn Monroe that she couldn’t act and Michael Jordan that he would never make it in basketball. So, how did all these people create such astronomical success? Simple, they knew, understood and believed that success was not about talent, grades or intelligence, instead, all about desire, effort, work, failure, learning, improvement and persistence. You can do that, so I urge you to go on and do it!
